Fate and Consequences
Page 16
Elizabeth cried. “Aunt!” The sisters ignored her and went on with their conversation. Elizabeth escaped in time to see Mary slinking away to a corner, obviously overhearing what was said. She went to speak to her younger sister but was instead caught unexpectedly by a hand on her elbow. She looked up to see it belonged to John. Flustered she tried to pull away, but he drew her across the room to a quiet corner.
“Ah, at last I have you by my side, Eliza.” She stepped from him to gain some distance. John sidled up beside her. “I hope you are well.”
She stiffened. “I am quite at ease, Mr. Lucas.”
He smiled at her persistence in her address. “At ease is hardly how I would describe you now, Eliza. I was hoping that we might have a chance to talk again, now that some time has passed and you have had the opportunity to think of your future.”
She gave him an icy stare. “I assure you sir, I think of my future quite often, and I believe that I made it clear that it does not include you.”
He moved to stand in front of her and smiled. It was not a friendly smile, rather it seemed almost feral. “Never say never, Eliza. I understand from Charlotte that you are corresponding with the sister of one of the future residents of Netherfield. Quite a coincidence, do you not think so? You meet his sister and he takes the opportunity to come into the vicinity? He must be assuming a pretence of furthering his sister’s friendship, and of course, he would need to be sure that you are a proper friend, and would be required to spend time in your company. Yes, quite convenient, indeed.”
“I have no idea what you are implying, Mr. Lucas.” She stared into a far corner. He moved in front of her, brushing his arm against hers. “I doubt that you as innocent as you appear, Eliza.”
“Sir, you forget yourself!”
He stepped back. “Forgive me if I offended. I assumed that you would be aware of the machinations of men. I see now that I should be concerned that the brother of your friend may take advantage of an inexperienced lady of the countryside, and may simply see you as a welcome diversion while visiting. I have only your best interests in mind.”
She looked for some sign of true regard in his eyes, and to her surprise, actually did see it. She closed her eyes and pulled herself together. “Sir, I have no fear that my friend’s brother is anything other than an honourable man. If I learn otherwise, I will be very surprised, but I have no expectations of his attentions in any case. As I just told your mother, my mother’s crowing is something with which you should be well acquainted by now, and should also be ignored. Now sir, I would like to return to the party.”
John opened his mouth to argue but realized it was not the time or place. He nodded. “I will importune you no longer tonight, Eliza, but I want you to know, if you need me, I will be by your side in an instant. You need only ask.”
She met his eyes briefly and nodded. “I do not feel that your help will be necessary, however I thank you for the offer.” She moved away quickly and went to Jane. The sisters put their heads together. “Jane, I seem to be the subject of a great deal of speculation and interest tonight. If it is not Mama exclaiming about Mr. Darcy, it is Lady Lucas angry over my rejection of her son and assumption that any resident of Netherfield would want me, and just now John Lucas was practically threatening me that I am about to be ruined by Mr. Darcy!” She sighed with frustration. “What am I to do?”
Jane squeezed her arm. “There is nothing you can do, Lizzy. Mr. Darcy will arrive soon and that will either confirm or end the speculation. I am afraid in the meantime you must simply bear it with equanimity.”
John approached Charlotte. “Any success?” She asked.
He shook his head. “It is hard to say. She is, I think, far more intelligent than I. Flattery and fears are not the way to win her.”
Charlotte agreed. “No Brother, the way to Lizzy’s heart is to earn her respect, and I am afraid that you have done nothing to earn hers.”
He sighed. “I just hope that what she said is true, and that she is not hoping to win this man who comes to Netherfield. Darcy. That name seems familiar somehow, but I just can not put my finger on it.” He looked over to Elizabeth. “I do not wish her to be hurt by some man who would not ever lower himself to accept her.”
Charlotte observed her brother watching Elizabeth. “Do you truly have feelings for her?”
His gaze became sharp. “Of course I do. I would not be acting like an idiot if I did not. I could have any girl of the neighbourhood, the Long sisters, for instance. I just never thought that I would have to compete for her.” He returned his gaze to Elizabeth.
Charlotte nodded. “So this is not just a marriage of convenience? Elizabeth has stated clearly she will not settle for such a thing, but then, she is still young.”
John watched the wistful expression on her face, avoided the question and instead asked, “You would settle for such a marriage, would you not?”
Charlotte looked up to him. “Yes. If the opportunity ever presents itself, I will take it.”
The guests all settled down to dinner. Elizabeth took her seat and was dismayed to see that Lady Lucas had placed her between John and her Uncle Philips, a man of little conversation. Across from her was Mary, silent as ever, and at the head of the table was Lady Lucas herself. She felt trapped. Lady Lucas smiled and nodded. “Since you have assured me that you have no interest in the gentlemen coming to Netherfield, you may now freely accept the attentions offered by John.”
Elizabeth closed her eyes. “I am certain that any number of ladies would welcome Mr. Lucas’ interest. I am not seeking any man’s attentions at the moment.”
Lady Lucas’ eyes narrowed. “Is there something wrong with my son?”
John’s eyes turned to study her face. She felt his leg brush against hers and she pulled away. “No, he is a fine young man …”
Lady Lucas interrupted. “Well then, what is the problem?” She turned to her son. “John, is there anything objectionable about Lizzy?”
He looked from his mother to Elizabeth’s flushed face. “No, nothing at all.” He smiled.
Lady Lucas nodded. “It seems to me that there is nothing to stand in the way of this attachment!” She smiled and looked at her son’s satisfied expression and ignored Elizabeth’s panicked one. “It seems we are to have a courtship between our homes! Is that not delightful?”
Elizabeth’s heart was pounding. “Lady Lucas, I …” Her stricken face had finally caught her father’s attention.
“Lady Lucas, I would appreciate it if you would discontinue your matchmaking. If your son has something to say, he may speak to me directly. But the dinner table is not the appropriate place.”
Lady Lucas snapped her mouth shut, then murmured. “Of course, Mr. Bennet. I was simply excited with the prospect.” He nodded and sent Elizabeth a small smile as she closed her eyes in relief.
John leaned over. “You see, I kept my promise not to say anything else tonight.”
She opened her eyes to glare at him. “Do not start now.” He laughed, and turned back to his meal, and enjoyed the flash of her eyes.
Fortunately the remainder of the evening continued without any further hints or outright declarations of Elizabeth’s future attachments. She stationed herself with Jane, and regarded the approach of any Lucas with suspicion. She even began to evaluate her longstanding friendship with Charlotte. When it came to her own future, Charlotte was obviously going to be ruthless in securing it, even if it meant helping her brother to win his reluctant neighbour as his wife. Mr. Bennet did take the opportunity after dinner to speak with Sir William and John. He informed them that no hints, gossip, or unsubstantiated declarations of attachment between the houses would be tolerated. If John Lucas was to win Elizabeth, it would have to be done honourably. John assured him that he had no intention of forcing the issue, and that Elizabeth’s resistance only made him more inspired to win her. Mr. Bennet could do nothing else but assure the boy that he would only approve a match to which she agreed. He w
as on his own.
DARCY STOOD holding the letter he both anticipated and dreaded. What lay inside, his absolute rejection, an explanation for its delay, or something more? He stared at the now familiar hand and touched his name. “Fool!” He admonished. He sat down against the tree and broke the seal, pulled out the sheets, and steeling himself, began to read.
Dear William,
I have been so worried, I have heard nothing from you since I sent that impulsive gift of lavender and my ribbon, and I was sure that I had offended you in some way. I was afraid that I was appearing to be nothing more than one of those ladies who have undoubtedly put themselves in your path all of your life, but I assure you, the gift was not meant in that way, I simply wished to tell you that I miss you. But then no word came, not from you, not from Georgiana. I read your letter, and William, I wrote you back that very day. From the hints that Danny gave me, I am wondering if only Georgiana’s letter was received. Oh, William, I am so sorry. I can not imagine how my letter could have been lost, and if you have been hurt by the absence of my assurances after opening yourself to me so completely, I apologize. I felt confused, but you must have felt deserted. But now I will tell you again exactly what I said in my lost letter.
Stop this silly nonsense, imagining my rejection of your friendship at once! If you think that I will let the admittedly foolish and likely life-altering behaviour of your sister end what I sincerely believe is a very welcome and mutually enjoyed friendship between us, you are very mistaken, and disappoint me greatly.
I have the strong impression that you believe yourself now unworthy of my friendship by her behaviour, and that you have been ruined along with her. I admit that I felt a similar wonder at you wishing to further your acquaintance with me, a girl so far below you in consequence. But sir, you are a gentleman, and I am a gentleman’s daughter. As far as I am concerned we are equal. Perhaps that is an oversimplification of the situation. I only wish to assure you that I feel nothing but respect for you. I do not pity you, but I do ache for your pain. I admire you for trying to care for your sister, for taking over your father’s estate and your heritage at such a young age, and succeeding.
You have my friendship; you have my admiration and support. I agreed to a friendship without pretence sir, and that means honesty. You naturally needed to wait to tell me such a painful and terrible story, it would not have been appropriate to tell me sooner, and yet, it truly would not have been appropriate to wait longer. I needed to know what troubled both you and Georgiana if you expected anything more from me than impertinent banter. Stop your worry, I accept both of you. Remember, you have yet to meet my family, so I hope that you extend the same charity to me when you come to Hertfordshire. You are still coming are you not? Please come, your letters are everything wonderful, but I need to see you.
Darcy had to stop reading and wipe his eyes. It was well. Everything would be well. He wondered what she would look like if she were saying those words to him, and imagined her standing and shaking her finger as she did with the donkey, and smiled. “Yes, Darcy, you are an ass.” His smile grew at the thought and he felt a chuckle rise in his throat. His eyes travelled to her salutation. “She calls me William.” His smile grew even wider. “She misses me!!” He shook his head, realizing she was putting herself through her own torture of doubt, wondering if her token had offended him. “Silly girl, how could your affection ever offend me?” He drew a deep breath and felt the devastation he had been fighting for weeks finally start to lift.
He wiped his eyes again and finally turned to the rest of the letter. He read of her shock and anger at the tale of Georgiana’s seduction and disregard of everything she had ever been taught to agree to such a scheme. She lay most of the blame at Wickham’s feet, but still reserved some for his sister. That made him pause; he had been entirely unwilling to blame any of this on her. Elizabeth assured him that Georgiana must accept her own culpability for not ever mentioning that Wickham had been calling on her for weeks, let alone the proposal of elopement. She suggested as she did in Georgiana’s letter that they talk about it, his feelings as well as hers. She suggested that when they come to Netherfield, Georgiana meet her sisters, and mix with girls her age, and learn how to make friends. Nobody knew of the gossip there, she would be free to gain confidence in herself and be with people who did not look at her with disdain. She said that Georgiana could not hide forever. Elizabeth held out hope. A commodity he had found elusive in recent weeks, and he was grateful for it.
Now then sir, we have addressed your fears, and your pain. We have solved the mystery of the missing letter, and I hope I have reassured you of my constancy towards our friendship. Now it is time for you to start telling me about yourself. What do you do in that great house (I am assuming of course that it is a great house), how do you spend your time? Do you read? Do you ride? Do you embroider cushions? What are your accomplishments? After all, young ladies are measured by their accomplishments, so why not young men? Tell me sir; I want to know everything of you!
I will wait for your next letter with great anticipation. I sincerely hope that it arrives here intact, and very soon. I hope that you are smiling again, I will when I see your letter in my hands. I look forward to your arrival more than I can possibly say. God Bless you, William.
Your friend,
Elizabeth
Darcy could not help but laugh at her close, and at last felt relief. He closed his eyes and sighed, thanking her, thanking Danny for whatever he said to her, thanking God for bringing her to him. All was well. She missed him! She was waiting for his letter as desperately as he waited for hers. Somehow, knowing that she was sharing his misery made him feel even closer to her.
With a rare feeling of optimism, Darcy settled back against the tree and read again the words of the woman who had been tying him up in knots since the first moment he saw her. He read her plans, and nodded his head. Her ideas were sound. Elizabeth had earned not only his admiration, but his respect, and now he finally admitted to himself that she was exactly who he needed by his side, in everything. He put a name to the unfamiliar feeling he was experiencing. He was sure that he had fallen in love with her. He was not sure if he knew how to love her, but he did know that he wanted to try. It was terrifying and exhilarating, and he thought; when he and Georgiana arrive in Hertfordshire, he would speak to her. He would ask for her permission for a courtship. He would speak to her father. One thing was certain; the thought of resigning himself to a marriage of convenience was banished forever.
Darcy pulled from his pocket the now dried lavender sprigs, and held them to his nose. He swirled the yellow ribbon through his fingers and closed his eyes. He imagined Elizabeth standing before him, smiling, enticing him, and daring him to take her in his arms. He moaned softly as he thought of holding her face in his hands, tipping her chin up, and then drawing his thumb across her ruby red lips. He wanted to possess those lips; he wanted to caress and taste them with his own. He wanted to pull her tightly to him and feel her soft body melt into his and feel her heartbeat race as his lips pressed against the pounding pulse on her throat. He wanted to wind his fingers through those beautiful chestnut curls. He wanted her to feel how much he desired her. And he wanted, dearly, to be desired by her. His imagination carried him away, and upon opening his eyes, he lifted the lavender once again to his face and knew he would not allow anything to stop him from marrying this woman.
INSIDE OF PEMBERLEY, the Fitzwilliam men joined Lady Matlock in the parlour where she had been interviewing Georgiana. Richard sat by his ward and took her hand, the girl was in tears. “It is all my fault, I am sure of it! I have sent William into this state. He must be so ashamed of me, and he has been trying so hard to make me happy. I suppose he just could not pretend any more. I have ruined both of us!” She sobbed again. Richard looked to his mother for help.
She shrugged. “I can get nothing of sense from her. She says that Darcy has been growing increasingly despondent for weeks now, but he has been shut
up in his study exclusively for the last four days, ignoring his duties completely. I understand that he has not eaten, bathed, or slept in that time.”
Richard squeezed her hand. “Georgiana, Darcy said something about you having a friend and not needing him anymore, but demanded that her name not be mentioned. Who is he talking about?”
Georgiana sniffed and looked to him with confusion. “Friend? I have only one friend now, Elizabeth.”
Everyone’s attention focused on her. “Elizabeth? I do not know her do I?” Richard’s brows contracted.
“You saw her. I do not think you were introduced. It was at the inn.” She said softly.
Richard stared at her, but he was seeing the inn at Meryton, remembering the faces of servants, but nobody stood out until … “Do you mean the young woman who lent you her handkerchief?”
Georgiana nodded. “Yes, that was Elizabeth Bennet. William introduced himself to her and took her address so that I could return her handkerchief.”
Richard looked at his father who nodded, then back to his cousin. “And did you return it?”
She smiled, “Yes. William was going to do it, but suggested that I write her a note to thank her, and he added a few lines of thanks as well.”
Richard’s eyes met his mother’s raised brow. “And what happened after that?”
Her smile grew. “Oh, we have become regular correspondents! She has encouraged me to learn from my mistakes, but to look to the future instead of wallowing in the past. She told me there is no reason I cannot be happy, even if it is not the future I once anticipated.” She looked to Mrs. Annesley. “She has encouraged me to talk about what happened so that I know what I did wrong.”
Lady Matlock was impressed. “And what has she asked in return?”
Georgiana’s face grew confused. “Why, nothing at all. She simply is happy to be a friend. She tells me of her family and stories of her sisters. She is looking forward to seeing us when we go to visit in Hertfordshire at the house Mr. Bingley is leasing.”