Fate and Consequences
Page 18
Elizabeth grew up completely removed from the ton, and she was happy. She was dressed, fed, educated, walked, laughed, and lived, all without society. What would he, they, be missing if he suffered the disdain of society for making Elizabeth his wife? Culture, certainly, but there really was no reason why they could not still go to London and attend the theatre. What they would miss would be the balls, parties, and social occasions that he so dreaded attending already. He would perhaps lose friends, maybe not be welcome in his club, but was that really a loss if they did not think well enough of him to accept his choice? Perhaps he would miss out on some business opportunities, or would he? Money would apparently save him from being ruined by Georgiana’s mistake; undoubtedly his wealth would be more important to the men of society than who he chose to marry. Perhaps it was not really so bad after all. He saw what society did to his parents, and he swore it would not happen to him. It seemed that his wish could be realized.
He would write to Elizabeth and ask her if she cared for London. He did not even know if she had ever been there. They had so much to learn of each other. He smiled and thought of her letter, she had demanded to know all of him. He rose and settled down at a writing desk set next to a window overlooking the rose garden. The blooms were no longer present, but the foliage remained lovely, just beginning to yellow with the coming autumn. He made a note to speak with his gardener, and have a lavender border planted for Elizabeth. He thought it should be set near the mistress’ study, so that the scent would fill her room when she opened the windows and worked there. He closed his eyes and imagined her in the long-abandoned room, wondering how she would adjust to such an enormous task and smiled; they would take it on together. How very good that sounded!
With new lightness in his heart he settled down to write. He took his time. This letter had to be perfect. It was, he realized, the most important letter of his life. Six pages and two pens later, he scattered fine sand over the ink and read it over, trying to imagine who wrote such an effusive letter. He was about to seal the envelope when he thought that he should include a token of some sort. This was more difficult for a man, ribbons would not do. He considered sending a handkerchief embroidered with his initials, but that would surely cause her trouble if it was found. Drumming his fingers and thinking he finally decided on his gift. Ten minutes later he bit his lip and sealed the letter. He hoped it made her happy.
GEORGIANA HAD BEEN standing outside of Darcy’s study about to knock on the door, when the raised voices of the men filtered through the wood. What she heard about her paternity; and the demands on her brother’s future and his desires overwhelmed her, and she fled, with no idea of her direction. Her eyes flooded with tears, she bounced off a wall and into the arms of a startled footman who inquired after her well-being. She stammered out some excuse and continued on. The footman immediately notified Mrs. Reynolds of the girl’s distress, and she in turn found Lady Matlock. Together the women searched out and finally found her sobbing in the Pemberley chapel. Mrs. Reynolds left the small sanctuary to find her master, and Lady Matlock draped her arm around her. “What is wrong, Georgiana?”
“Oh, Aunt Ellen, I just heard the most dreadful thing! It can not be true!” She renewed her sobs.
Lady Matlock brushed away the hair that had fallen from her pins. “What have you heard, what is not true?”
Georgiana watched her aunt’s concerned face. “I am not a Darcy.” Lady Matlock closed her eyes and Georgiana read her expression and whispered. “It is true?”
Her aunt saw her devastation. “We cannot know for sure, Georgiana. At the time that you were conceived, your mother was … not always faithful to your father, as he was not faithful to her.” She tried to be gentle, but the girl was old enough now to hear the truth. She saw the pain she was causing but ploughed on. “Your father suspected that you were not his daughter, but yet he still accepted and loved you. He raised you as a Darcy.”
Georgiana’s tears were flowing, but the sobs had stopped. “Uncle said that William must marry. He must be the one to provide an heir so that the Darcy blood would continue to live in Pemberley.”
Lady Matlock nodded. “There is no doubt of his heritage. Your parents were still faithful at that time; it was only after his birth that they changed.”
Georgiana persisted. “I heard William say that if he did not marry the woman he chose that the bloodline would die with him.”
Lady Matlock’s face was grim. “I am sorry to hear that, but yes, if your parentage is questionable, and Darcy does not create an heir, that fact is true. I hope that he rethinks his position.”
“He loves my friend Elizabeth, does he not?”
A deep voice answered her. Darcy had entered the chapel and silently approached, listening to the conversation. “Georgiana.” He sat down next to her and took her hand. “First, you should know that I consider you as much a Darcy as I am.”
She stared up at him. “But you said that if you do not marry Elizabeth, the bloodline would die with you.”
“That is true, dear, because I will marry no woman but she.” He lifted his eyes to meet his aunt’s then looked back down at Georgiana. “I do not know if our uncle’s claims of your paternity are true, and I do not care. You are my sister regardless, and I love you. As Aunt Ellen said, Father accepted you as his. As far as I am concerned, there is nothing else to discuss.”
“But if they do not let you marry as you wish, you could be the last …”
Darcy stopped her. “Georgiana, the only one who has any say in who I chose to take as my wife is Elizabeth. While I hoped our family would wish to share my happiness, they have made it very clear that they reject her without ever knowing her. You and I know how wonderful she is.” Lady Matlock felt the sting of his anger, even though his voice was very soft.
“Is it true? Have you been writing to her?”
“Yes, for as long as you have.” He reached into his pocket. “This came for you yesterday. I fell asleep before I remembered to give it to you.”
Georgiana took the envelope and saw it was in Elizabeth’s hand. “Were you ill over me, William?”
He brushed back the loosened hair and smiled sadly. “No, I was ill because I was heartbroken. I thought that Elizabeth had rejected me.” Lady Matlock stared in disbelief as he continued on. “You see, I told her about you and Wickham.”
Georgiana gasped. “She knows!”
He nodded. “I trust her, and she cares very much for both of us. But when I did not receive a letter from her after my confession, I thought that she … well … that does not matter now. Her letter was lost and she was feeling just as worried that I did not … we were both very silly.”
“How can you love her? You have only seen her once?”
Darcy smiled. “Twice.” Georgiana smiled back. “Through our letters I grew to know her in a way that would have never been possible during a traditional courtship. I had the opportunity to know and fall in love with the woman, and not be distracted by her beauty or physical presence. Of course she is very lovely, and I anticipate spending a great deal of time with her when we go to Netherfield. I hope that you would like Elizabeth as your sister.”
“Oh William, I would love her as my sister!” She squeezed his hand, and he laughed. Lady Matlock looked on the scene with astonishment. The happiness that she saw between the siblings was highly unusual. Georgiana grew concerned. “But our family disapproves of her?”
“They do, and likely we will not be welcomed by most of society, and I will have to tell Elizabeth of that, but if she will have me despite those facts, I hope very much to make her my wife and bring her to Pemberley.” He smiled at the thought. “And if she says no, I am afraid that we will be staying at Netherfield for some time as I court her incessantly until she says yes! Shall we go to Netherfield in two weeks time? Or do you prefer to stay here?”
“Oh no Brother, we will go together. I must be sure that you do not ruin my chances of winning a sister!”
Darcy laughed. They stood, and he looked down at his aunt. “I suppose that if the family disapproves of my wife, we will simply live here without them. It is up to them. My course is set.” Without another word they departed, and Lady Matlock was left alone in the chapel to contemplate her nephew’s words.
AFTER THREE DAYS of rain and entrapment inside of the house, Elizabeth could take no more. At the first sign of dry skies she grabbed her bonnet, announced to her mother that she was going walking and fled. Her head was spinning. Lydia had been laughing for days about their mother pushing Kitty to make eyes at John Lucas as it was obvious that Mary would not do for him at all. Kitty protested loudly that she did not want to marry some farmer; she wanted a soldier, a tall blonde one. Mrs. Bennet followed her around the house proclaiming that she had better change her attitude. Whenever she had the chance she would turn to follow Elizabeth, chastising her for encouraging John to be attracted to her instead, and then she would launch into a long-winded diatribe against Lady Lucas, practically engaging Elizabeth to him at the dinner table. “Why, how could she even think that her daughters would be looked at once by Mr. Bingley or Mr. Darcy? Trying to steal them away from my girls! You mark my words Lizzy, and you too Jane, there will be hordes of women trying to take them away. You must be on your very best behaviour. The nerve of her!! Why Charlotte is an old maid! What would a young gentleman want with that? And Maria, she is a silly thing, far too young.”
Elizabeth heard her mother’s voice ringing in her ears as she put distance between her and the house. “Maria is too young? She is the same age as Kitty and you want her to marry John!” She left the garden and entered the lanes, slowing her rapid pace. Although she certainly was encouraged by her mother’s assurance that she would marry William, she still had no guarantee of that from him. He should have her letter by now. She hoped so much that it helped. Danny seemed so concerned for him, and that made her feel worse. And now, with all this mess concerning John Lucas, should she tell him about it? After all, she was not encouraging him at all. She had twice made that clear, but although university-educated, it did not seem to be sinking in. She supposed he resembled his father in that way.
Unconsciously she made her way towards Netherfield, and before long found herself at the spot where she had last seen William. She climbed up on the stile and sat, watching the breeze blow the long grass, and looked off to the distance where she had last seen him as his horse disappeared over the hillside towards the house. Soon he would come. And what would come with him? A proposal? She smiled and chastised herself. “Do not get your hopes up Elizabeth Bennet.” She closed her eyes and thought about it. They had been courting for nearly three months. Was it possible to court someone in such a way? Do you need to physically be with someone to know them?
“Eliza.” The sound of her name jolted her out of her reverie and she opened her eyes to see John standing before her. She hurriedly climbed down from the stile. “I did not hear your horse, Mr. Lucas.”
“I was walking him; I thought you might be asleep.” He was looking at her without the calculation she had seen of late.
“And yet you decide to wake me anyway.” She said with her brows raised. John smiled. She was teasing, not fighting.
He relaxed. “Yes, forgive me. I could not miss the chance to speak to you. I wish to apologize for my behaviour at dinner.”
Elizabeth looked at him carefully. “Mr. Lucas …”
He shook his head. “John, please.”
She sighed. “Mr. Lucas, I was very offended at dinner. Not just by you, but by the presumption of your mother. I felt that if my father had not stepped in when he did, she would have declared our engagement to the village at church on Sunday. I do not appreciate being forced to do anything, whether it be sewing or marrying. The harder I am pushed, the harder I will resist.”
“Yes, I realize that now. Eliza, I have liked you since we were children, and I know that we have seen little of each other over the past few years with me away at school, but you have changed, have grown up so beautifully, and I was just overwhelmed when I returned after graduation to see that you were not a girl anymore. I found myself very drawn to you.” He stepped a little closer. “All I ask Eliza is that you give me a chance. I will stop pushing. I will tell my mother to stop. I know that you are angry with Charlotte for telling us what she heard about your mother’s wishes for you with Mr. Darcy when he comes, but she hopes for you to be her sister.”
Elizabeth waved away his statement. “She is looking out for her future. That is all. She worries that you will throw her from the house when your father dies. Would you truly do such a thing? Why would she worry so about that?”
He kept his eyes on hers. “I would let my wife decide.”
Elizabeth closed hers to break the contact then looked away. “You can not divorce yourself from your family when you marry. I expect whoever marries me to accept that my parents and sisters do exist, and may someday need our help, even if they do not live with us.”
“I would do that, Eliza.” He assured her.
She shook her head and studied him. “How can I believe that when your own sister is unsure of her fate? Why do you pursue me, Mr. Lucas?”
He smiled. “There is something about you that I can not name.” He lifted his hand as if to touch the long curls resting on her shoulder, but stopped when he saw her flinch. He sighed. “Tell me I have a chance. Give me the opportunity to redeem myself.”
More than anything in the world she wished to tell him that she was attached to William, but could not. He had made no offer, and she certainly could not expose him to censure by speaking of their letters. She was helpless. “Mr. Lucas, I can offer no hope.”
His temper rose. “You are hoping for Mr. Darcy. You truly think that he will want you?”
Elizabeth’s eyes flashed. “I expect nothing from him!”
“Then what is it? Why will you wait for him, a stranger, and not me, a man you have known all of your life?” He began to pace, then stopped. “Do you wish to have men fighting over you? Is that the game you are playing?”
“Mr. Lucas!”
“Eliza, I will do as you wish. I will take on this Mr. Darcy. I will win. You will be mine.” He walked up and stood inches from her and breathed raggedly. His eyes travelled to her mouth. She shivered, not knowing what to do. With a groan he took possession of the gloved hand that was resting protectively over her chest and kissed it. He stared into her eyes again and turned to mount his horse. “I promise Eliza, I will make you want me.” He kicked the horse and was soon gone.
Elizabeth finally let the breath go she was holding and moved from her frozen state, reaching out for support from the fence. She attempted to calm herself and whispered. “Oh William, please come soon.”
“MAY I SPEAK TO YOU?” Richard asked quietly. It was the morning after the family confrontation. Darcy chose to eat a quiet dinner alone the night before, and had not spoken to anyone since leaving the chapel. He stood and regarded his cousin in silence. Richard shifted uncomfortably. “You are as much my brother as James. I have no desire to be estranged from you. I just … Darcy you can not understand how shocking it was to see you in that wild state. Never have I thought you could fall so low, and when I realized it was caused by a woman … you and a woman … forgive me Darcy … I found it difficult to feel charitable towards her.”
Darcy stared into his eyes. “And now?”
“And now I would like to hear … anything you have to tell me.” He met his stare. “Please.”
Darcy relaxed slightly and indicated the study door. Richard breathed out his tension and stepped past his glowering cousin. They sat down and Richard noticed that Darcy once again wrapped the yellow ribbon around his fingers. “Richard, never let me hear you speak against Miss Elizabeth again. I will marry her.”
“You have never been drawn to any woman, Darcy. You have been pursued since you came of age. I should have known that you would know the difference between true regard a
nd a fortune hunter. Can you understand our reaction, though? This girl is … from a different circle …”
He watched him struggle and finally relented. “All right Richard, enough. I know very well that Miss Elizabeth is not from our circle. I know that she likely has no significant dowry or connections. But since I have watched Georgiana’s treatment by these so-called models of society, I no longer measure a person’s value by their status, but rather by their character.” Something Elizabeth taught me.
Richard nodded. “I can accept that.” He considered the situation. “You know that Mother and Father feel that if you were to marry a … favoured woman of society it would be beneficial to Georgiana’s future.”
“I do, and as recently as a fortnight ago, I may have agreed or rather, forced myself to settle for such an arrangement. In fact, that conflict between Georgiana and my own wishes caused a great deal of pain for me. I debated the problem and realized that the best way that I may serve her is to be happy. I believe sincerely that Elizabeth Bennet will bring me the happiness I have missed all of my life.”
With an expression akin to wonder, Richard studied Darcy. “I have never heard you speak of happiness before.”
“That Cousin is because I did not understand what it was until I was blessed with Miss Elizabeth’s friendship.”
Richard sat forward on his chair, his elbows on his knees, as if he were trying to see into his cousin’s head. “How did this come about? You saw her for moments before we left. How can you be so sure of your feelings when you have spent no time with her?”
“I observed her for some time in front of the inn with her sisters.” He smiled with the memory.
“What did she do?” Richard asked urgently.
Darcy’s smile grew. “She had a conversation with a donkey.”
“She what?” Richard stared at him.
Darcy grinned. “You heard me, and no I will not elaborate.” He relaxed. “Richard, I know that I broke every rule of propriety by engaging in a correspondence with her. At the time, I think that, well, I was feeling so raw, that her simple gesture of kindness touched me deeply and I wished for more. The fact that she was willing to engage in the surreptitious exchange told me that she was missing something in her life as well. Our letters began as light, teasing notes, but as time went on, we opened up to each other. I believe we conducted a far more productive courtship in this manner than we ever would if I had been calling on her every afternoon with a nosegay and conversation about the weather. We know more of each other now than I daresay a couple married for convenience would learn in years of proper behaviour. Knowing the little I do just makes me thirst for more. She is intelligent, well-read, and happy. I feel myself going through my day wishing I could tell her what I am doing and asking for her advice. I need her.” He ended simply.