by Linda Wells
“I like this woman Fanny, do you think she could stay and grow old with me? Will you give me a chance?” He took her hand and stared into her eyes.
She looked down at the hand that had only rarely held hers. “Are you lonely, Thomas?”
“Yes.”
She looked up to see him still staring at her. “So am I.”
Mr. Bennet tugged her hand and pulled her against him, hugging her for the first time in years. “Well my dear, let us do something about it.”
AFTER THEY HAD returned to the house, Darcy found Mr. Bennet walking down the stairs and requested that they speak in privacy. Mr. Bennet was not pleased with the change in plans, but as he had promised that he would allow them to marry whenever they were ready, he could not object. He wrote a note to Reverend Mosby asking if the church would be available in the morning. Mrs. Bennet heard the news and sent a servant and Mary into town to retrieve all of Elizabeth’s finished gowns from the dressmaker, with orders to also bring matching ribbons and lace for use in trimming bonnets. Jane and Elizabeth set to work packing her clothes with Susie’s help. The girl’s sister was summoned to the house to observe since she would be taking her place as the Bennet’s maid on the morrow. Darcy apologized to Bingley for this disruption of his plans to speak with Mr. Bennet, but Bingley only smiled and assured him that he would have plenty of time to talk to the man once Darcy had finally quit his home. Mary returned with nine of the dresses, and one made of a light yellow silk was chosen as the bridal gown. Lydia immediately set to work preparing a bonnet, and Kitty began retrimming some others. Darcy stayed in the bookroom, writing letters. It was a whirlwind of activity and by the end of the day, everyone was exhausted.
The two couples walked outside to say goodnight before it became too dangerous to ride back to Netherfield. The family called their farewells and Darcy shook Mr. Bennet’s hand, and leaned to kiss Mrs. Bennet’s cheek, his newly established parting ritual. Elizabeth took his hand and led him out the door behind Bingley and Jane. “She loves that, you know.”
He chuckled. “Yes, she turns beet red every time. I hope you are not jealous.”
“No, I believe that I can spare a few of your kisses for my mother.” He laughed at her smile, and raised her hand to his lips, brushing it. “I always have loved your generous heart.”
They reached the porch and saw that Bingley had spirited Jane away to steal a few moments alone. Elizabeth drew him to a darkened corner and pulled his head down to hers, kissing his lips and pressing her body to his.
“Oh Lizzy …”
“After tomorrow, we will no longer have to say goodbye.”
Chapter 31
“Farewell Lizzy.” Mr. Bennet leaned against the window frame and watched Elizabeth set off in the early morning light. He took note of her stride, unfaltering, and returned to the quick, assured steps of his confident daughter. No longer did she need to lean on her sister or her Darcy, although, he suspected, Darcy would not mind her leaning on him for the rest of his life. She disappeared from view and returning to his desk, sank heavily down. Today his daughter would leave him forever. He blinked several times and picked up the letter from his sister.
23 November 1811
Onich Hall
Buxton
Derbyshire
Dear Thomas,
I am at a loss. What has, after all of these years, driven you to finally welcome me back into the family? I received a letter from Elizabeth, and I was overwhelmed. She wishes to know me, and the most extraordinary circumstance is that her husband is known to mine. Mr. Darcy is a very well-respected man by not only my husband; but all of Derbyshire. How ever did Elizabeth meet him? He has quite clearly not been in search of a wife. I know the disparity in their stations and I pray that this was not a case of a compromise, please reassure me.
Whatever the reason, I look forward to meeting her when she is settled at Pemberley. Perhaps Brother, our family will at last be healed.
Your sister,
Sarah
“No sister, it was decidedly not a compromise.” Mr. Bennet sharpened a pen and settled down to tell her the story of Elizabeth’s courtship, if ever there was a woman who would understand and sympathize with all of the parties, it was she.
ELIZABETH WANDERED over Longbourn’s park, visiting her favourite haunts, walking up to and touching special trees and making memories of the views. Her ankle was sore, but she was determined to take this final walk to say goodbye to her childhood. She would be a married woman in only four hours.
She wished to visit Oakham Mount one last time, but she realized that such a journey was just too far, and she listened to William’s voice in her mind. She smiled thinking about his serious gaze, holding her hands and begging her to behave, somehow knowing that she would walk this morning. He would forever worry over her, it seemed. She returned to her favourite place at Longbourn, and climbed up on the stile to look out over the meadow towards Netherfield, and wondered what William was doing then, and if she was on his mind.
“I hoped I might find you here.” John sat upon his horse, twenty feet from where Elizabeth sat.
“Oh, Mr. Lucas.” She stood up and suddenly found that she did not know where to look or where to place her hands.
“Please, Miss Elizabeth, do not fear me.” He sighed. “May I dismount? I only wish to talk. I will not come any closer.”
Elizabeth bit her lip and closed her eyes, then nodded. She knew that this was the true reason why William did not want her to walk, and here it had happened.
He quickly slid out of the saddle and stood by the horse’s head, reins in hand. “You seem to be completely recovered; your face …”
“Yes. I was hoping to look myself by the wedding. Mr. Darcy’s appearance is nearly restored as well.” She paused and added, “We have decided to marry this morning.”
“Oh.” Silence fell over them. He drew a deep breath. “Miss Elizabeth, I was hoping for an opportunity to apologize to you. I had no idea that Wickham was leading me down a path …” He stopped. “Well, regardless of what Wickham did, it is my fault for not letting you go when it was clear that you had no interest in me. I was at fault for hearing only what I wished to hear, and spread stories that grew far out of proportion from what I first stated. I believed a man whose acquaintance I barely had made instead of listening to the assurances of a friend I have known all of my life. If something worse had happened to you at Wickham’s hand … or to Miss Darcy or her brother or cousin … I could not have lived with myself. I have a very difficult time living with myself after witnessing …” He hung his head.
“At least you did come to help when you realized your mistake, and it is likely that Wickham would have found someone else to do his bidding, were it not you.” She felt uncomfortable, but realized she would likely never speak to him again, so allowed him to purge his conscience.
“Yes … but it does nothing to excuse my arrogance in assuming you would wish for me in the first place. May I ask … when did you first meet Mr. Darcy? I remember your mother speaking of some gentlemen coming to Netherfield …”
“We met early in June.”
“So, you were already disinterested when I first returned from Ireland, before I had even begun my poorly executed attentions.” He sighed and stared down at the reins in his hands.
“Mr. Lucas … John …” He looked up in surprise. “I considered you a friend. Neither of us can say what may have happened if I had never met Mr. Darcy, but I did, and I will marry him today. I … I never perceived love from you … friendship once, perhaps even some admiration, but …”
John could not help himself; he had to express his feelings just once, despite Darcy’s warning, and despite already knowing her response. “I think that if given the chance, it would have grown to love … perhaps for us both.”
Elizabeth closed her eyes, hating this conversation. “You must not dwell on that. My father spent four and twenty years doing just that. It brings nothing good. Please, le
t whatever you imagined with me go. Find your future and be happy. You know how rare love is in marriage, and if you find friendship with another woman, I think that you will be satisfied.”
“You are irreplaceable, Elizabeth. I did not deserve you.” He said in a soft regretful voice.
“No, I am hopefully irreplaceable to Mr. Darcy. You can not feel such possession for something that you never had, and if you are honest with yourself, never loved. I do not know what I represented to you, but you never respected me. If you did, you would have listened to my pleas to let me go. I believe that at first you were simply overly confident that I would accept you, and when I did not, you were hurt and wanted to force me to accept your will. That is not love, it is not friendship, and anything less is unacceptable to me.”
“You are not Charlotte. She has accepted Mr. Collins. Did you know?”
“Yes, she told me after he departed. She wishes for security, and one day she will have Longbourn.”
“She does not feel that she needs more.”
“No, but as you said, we are different. You must decide what you want, and you will have to find the woman who suits you. I never was that woman. You must let me go.” Elizabeth met his eye and smiled, relieved to have told him the truth. “You have changed John, as terrible as this experience was; I think all of us have grown from it. I believe that you will take from this the knowledge that will make you a fine master and hopefully someday a good husband for some fortunate woman.”
John smiled in return, relieved for her forgiveness. “Thank you for that, I hope that someday I will prove you correct.”
Across the field Darcy rode up to the crest of the hill and looked to the stile where he suspected Elizabeth had walked, despite his plea. He thought he would just take a look there before returning to Netherfield to prepare for the day. He spotted her and began to shake his head with a smile when he noticed the man. His chest grew tight; it was as he feared, Lucas. He kicked the animal and began galloping across the field. John saw him and his eyes grew wide. Elizabeth turned to follow his gaze and saw William flying to her. She knew what he was thinking, so she turned completely around and waved, and smiled. Darcy was watching her closely and breathed a sigh of relief, slowing the horse from its breakneck speed. He arrived and with an unspoken command, they leapt the fence.
“Good morning William!” Elizabeth smiled warmly at him. Darcy glanced at John then dismounted, tying his reins to the fence, and then walked to her side. He placed his hand on her back, curving his fingers around her waist, and bent to kiss her lightly.
“Good morning, Lizzy.” He looked back up and fixed his eyes on John.
“Lucas.”
“Darcy.”
“Mr. Lucas was just wishing me joy on our wedding, were you not, sir?” She smiled at him.
John startled and broke away from Darcy’s stare, glanced at the placement of his hand and nodded. “Indeed. I was most happy to come across Miss Elizabeth this morning. I understand that you will only have family at the service?”
Elizabeth paused, waiting for William to speak, and proceeded. “Yes, we wished for a private ceremony.”
“Have you honeymoon plans?” John asked awkwardly.
“Yes, we do.” Darcy finally spoke, and then turned to Elizabeth. “I have been thinking, my love, that you should at least see our home in London before we venture north for the winter. What do you say to going to town for a few days?”
“Really?” Elizabeth smiled. “I would love to see your home!”
Darcy smiled back. “Our home, Lizzy.”
John cleared his throat; Darcy was obviously asserting his territory. “Well, I shall take my leave then. Mr. Darcy, Miss Elizabeth, may you have every happiness.” He bowed and mounted. Darcy met his eyes with a protective glare. “Congratulations to you both.” Before they could reply he kicked his horse and was gone.
Darcy wrapped both arms around her and brushed his lips over hers. “Now, my dear Elizabeth, what was that really about?”
She raised her brow. “You did not believe me?” He chuckled and kissed her forehead.
“No, my love, I know a ruse when I see one, and that was pathetically transparent.”
“Hmm. I see that I will have to work on my machination skills.” She pursed her lips and her eyes danced.
Darcy smiled and drew her against his chest, then began trailing kisses down her cheek. “Oh, I do not think that you will have difficulty with that. Now, what did he want?”
“Mmmm. He wanted to apologize.”
“And did he?” Darcy untied her bonnet and pulled it from her head, then nuzzled his lips below her ear
Elizabeth’s knees were growing weak. “Did he what?”
“Apologize.”
“Mmmmmmm.” Darcy found her pulse and nibbled gently while his hands made a slow circuit of her body. Elizabeth’s hands found their way into his hair and she pressed against him as tightly as she could. His lips finally found hers and they lovingly embraced. He shuddered and forced himself away, breathing raggedly, and returned his mouth to her ear.
“Do you know why I really want to take you to London?”
“Tell me.”
“I want to make you moan. I want to hear you call out your pleasure. I want to express my love for you and hold nothing back. We can not do that at an inn, and I do not want to wait for Pemberley to make you mine. We will be in our home, in our bed, and I will finally love you the way I have imagined since the first moment I saw you.” He moved away to read her expression, and was thrilled to see the passion in her eyes and a smile on her lips.
“Oh, Will.”
“You bewitch me.”
“You fascinate me.”
His arms encircled her and they remained clasped until their breathing and his body calmed. When they both relaxed again she withdrew and caressed his face. “I suppose I should return to Longbourn.”
Darcy wound a curl around his finger and watched the play of sunlight on her hair. “Have you finished your farewells?”
Elizabeth laughed. “How did you know what I was doing?”
“We are very much alike; we are both very sentimental about things.” He touched the chain to her locket and met her smile. “Tell me, is there anywhere else you would like to visit? May I take you there?” Elizabeth’s brow rose and she shook her finger at him.
“I think, Mr. Darcy; that you are simply looking for an excuse to stay with me. We both need to prepare.” He kissed her finger, and with a sudden grin, scooped her up and placed her in the saddle. “William!”
He jumped on behind her, drew her body to his, took up the reins and kissed her upturned face. “Ah dearest, I have missed your lessons!”
“I HOPE THAT I will always see you wearing such a smile Lizzy.” Jane sat by her side, watching as she brushed her hair.
“I suspect that with such a silly man as my husband, I am bound to be smiling.”
“What did he do?”
Elizabeth sat on the bed and shook her head. “Before we returned, his eyes lit up with what I can only call a look of inspiration. He jumped off of the horse, and took out his knife. I watched him working by the stile, and when I said that we really must return, he stepped aside and showed me where he had carved our initials into the wood.” Jane covered her mouth and laughed. “He was so proud of himself!”
“How can you not but laugh at such antics?” Jane closed the last of the trunks and looked around the empty room. “I think that is everything, Lizzy. I am sure that you will be purchasing a great deal more, you have not had much opportunity as yet.”
“No, and in some ways I am pleased about that. I hope to ask Lady Matlock to help me, and perhaps I can coax Georgiana to visit the dress shops as well in the spring.” She stood and looked over the last of the bonnets and decided to leave them for her sisters. “You will have Aunt Gardiner’s help. When do you plan to go to London for your wedding clothes?”
“Charles needs to go to town for some busines
s this coming week, so I will ask if I might travel with him, along with Mary, and we will do our shopping with Aunt Gardiner then.”
“Oh, then perhaps we will see you …”
“Lizzy, I do not think that William will be in any mood to entertain, do you?” She tilted her head and smiled.
She blushed then grinned. “No, perhaps not.” The girls laughed and Jane helped her to slip the gown over her head, and began arranging her hair, while Elizabeth adjusted the diamond choker’s position. “Have you set a date for your wedding yet?”
Jane’s smile disappeared. “It all depends on what happens with the attorneys. He is meeting them to work out Miss Bingley’s future. I do not think that he wishes her to be residing in his townhouse after our marriage … so …” Her voice faltered.
Elizabeth turned and hugged her. “I am sure it will be soon.”
“He does not wish things to be this way, Lizzy. He hopes so much for her to see the effect her actions have had on others and change her ways. He would prefer reconciliation; it is just that she finally pushed him too far.”
“And he is standing up to her. You should be glad of it and support him, Jane.”
“Oh I do!” She peeked up at her. “Lizzy, could you tell me of …” Elizabeth watched her. “You seem to have given William much comfort …”
She began to understand and smiled. “Do you wish for advice on kissing Charles?”
Jane blushed but sighed in relief. “I wish to know everything, Lizzy.”
Elizabeth laughed and watched her sister’s embarrassed but eager face in the mirror. “Well, I do not know everything yet!”
The sister’s conversation was interrupted by Mrs. Bennet bursting in the door. “Lizzy! Are you not ready? You must be at the church within the hour! Why you chose this morning to go gallivanting in the fields, I will never know. YOU decided to marry today, if you had simply waited a week … OH, my poor nerves!”
Elizabeth stood and put a calming hand on her mother’s arm. “Mama, please relax. All I need are my bonnet and spencer.”
Mrs. Bennet looked to Jane. “Please leave us Jane; this is not for your ears.” The girls exchanged glances and Jane hurriedly left the room. Mrs. Bennet took Elizabeth’s hand. “Lizzy, I know that I have not been the best of mothers or even wives, but I have tried my best with what I was given.”