I eat everything with chopsticks. Or a spoon. But never a fork. I hated that there weren’t forks the first few weeks there, but then I just got used to it. Now, I don’t like forks. It’s weird how much I changed in the four years I lived there.
“So arrogant,” Alfie says, shaking his head.
I frown, not liking how my brother now views me. How has he grown to hate me so much?
I sit down my chopsticks and stand up. “Actually, I don’t think I want any pie. I’m leaving first.” I bow to the table, and realize about halfway down that I probably made my brother angry, but I don’t care. I turn and walk out of the dining room and walk up the stairs to my own room. Once my door is shut, I walk over to my bed, fall down face first, and I cry.
I cry for the family that I once had that is no longer the same.
I cry for the mom I left behind is Seoul.
I cry for my dad, who couldn’t even be bothered to say hi to his only daughter, that he hasn’t seen in four years, when he got home from work.
And I cry for my twin brother, who completely despises me.
My life is different now, and I have to accept it. But right now, I just want to cry.
Friday, August 5
I’ll study hard!
When I wake up the next morning, I decide that it’s going to be a good day. I won’t let my rude brother get me down. I won’t let the fact that I’m in another country get me down. And I definitely won’t let the fact that my dad has basically ignored me since I got here get me down.
Nope.
I’m going to smile. And laugh. And make friends. And start a life here. After all, this is the country I was born in. I spent most of my life here. Thirteen years of it, to be exactly. Four years in Korea has changed me a lot, but not completely. I am still American.
I get up, take a shower, and get ready for the day. I look through all the pretty new dresses in my closet and choose one. I get dressed, and even put on a new pair of shoes. After I’m dressed, I grab my handphone off the nightstand, and head out the door.
When I walk out, Alfie’s door opens at the exact same time. My heart sinks, because I know I’m probably going to get yelled at some more. But when I look up, I see that it’s not Alfie. It’s his friend, Jace.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hi,” I say, remembering not to bow.
“I… um… was just leaving,” he tells me. “Alfie is in a bad mood.”
“Sorry,” I say. “It’s my fault he’s cranky. He hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you. He loves you,” Jace says. “Actually, he’s missed you a lot. I’ve known him about four years now, since he started at my school. We became friends immediately. He always talks about you, like, all the time. He was so excited you were coming. I don’t understand why he’s acting like he is.”
“We kind of stopped talking when I lived there. Over the past couple years especially. At first, we texted each other nonstop. Then the talking got less and less until it completely stopped,” I say. “When my handphone went off, I knew it was never him.”
“Handphone?”
“Mobile phone,” I correct.
“Cellphone,” he says, then leans closer. He whispers, “Maybe you should try to act more American. For his sake.”
“I can’t take back the past four years,” I say. “Pretending I never liked in Korea isn’t an option. It changed me.”
I start to walk towards the staircase and Jace follows me.
“So, did you dress like a bum last night on purpose?” he asks me.
“A bum?” I ask. “I was hardly dressed like a bum.”
“You know what I mean,” he says.
“I didn’t get the memo that it was a formal dinner,” I say. “I didn’t do it on purpose, though I do find it odd that everybody dressed up last night. Was it a special occasion?”
“Well, Mr. James invited everybody over to meet you,” Jace says. “He was excited to show you off. But dinner here is always formal. Everybody knows that.”
“Do you eat dinner over here a lot?”
“Yeah,” he answers. “We don’t really have family dinners at my house, so I come over here. It beats eating alone.”
“My mom and I hardly ate together either,” I say. “I had school from nine to four. Then I had night school. I was getting tutored for a few hours each night in different subjects, and I was taking a Japanese class two nights a week, an advanced piano class two nights a week, and taekwondo one night. It’s actually weird being here. You guys are on break, so I won’t go back to school for a few weeks, and when I do it’ll be different. I remember school in America being very easy.”
“Easy?” Jace asks. “Then you can tutor me, cause I think it’s hard.”
I laugh as we walk down the stairs.
“So you can speak Japenese?” he asks.
“Not fluently,” I answer. “But me and my mom went to Tokyo a few months ago on a vacation. I was able to get us around. We never got lost or ordered anything weird on the menu, and nobody had problems understanding me. I think if I lived in Japan for a year, I could be fluent. The food there is good. I would stay there a whole year, just to eat their sushi everyday.”
We stop at the bottom of the stairs.
“You’re kind of awesome,” Jace says, smiling at me.
He has a nice smile. His teeth are really white and straight, like you would expect a Hollywood actor’s to be. He has dimples on both sides of his cheeks. His hair is light brown and sticks up in random directions over his head. His eyes are dark blue, which isn’t something I’m used to seeing in Korea. Everybody there has brown eyes.
“I better get going,” he says. “It was nice to talk to you, though. See you at the ball tomorrow.”
With that, he turns and walks out the front door.
“Gracie? Is that you?” I hear Claire calling. Her heels clank against the floor and she walks towards the foyer where I’m standing. When she sees me, she stops in her tracks, putting her hand over her heart. “Oh, Gracie. You look so pretty in that dress.”
“Thanks,” I say, lowing my head a little. It feels weird to accept her compliment.
“Your dad had to go to work today, but he did want me to give you the homecoming gift he picked out for you,” Claire says. “He was going to give it to you after dinner, but you ran away so quickly. I’m sorry about Alfie.”
“It’s not your fault,” I quickly say, hoping she drops the subject. I want today to be a good day, and if she keeps talking about Alfie, it won’t be. My heart is broken because of the way he’s acted towards me lately, and I don’t know what to do to mend our relationship.
She smiles. “Come with me.”
I follow her as she walks out the front door. In the front of our circle drive, there is a shiny, white car sitting in the driveway. There is a huge pink bow on it, and it’s sparkling in the sunlight. I don’t know what kind of car it is, but the logo says Porsche. The top is down on the convertible and the leather seats are black.
“This is a nice car,” I say.
“Very nice,” she says, agreeing.
“I don’t even have my driver’s license,” I tell her. “I always took the subway in Korea.”
“Then we will take you to get your license,” she says. “You study the book this weekend and I’ll take you Monday to get your permit.”
“Okay,” I say, then look at the car. “Are you sure you want me to drive something so nice?”
She nods.
I smile. “As long as you don’t mind.”
“You can probably find the book online to study for your permit,” she says.
I pull my handphone out of my purse. “I’ll study hard!” I yell, then take off towards the house.
Today, I will spend my day studying.
Saturday, August 6
She looks like a twelve year old.
On Saturday morning, Claire wakes me up early. She wants to take me to get pampered. Dad is working and Alfie won’t
talk to me, so I agree to go, just because I want to get out of the house. First, we go and get our eyebrows waxed, and then we get a mani-pedi. I don’t like using fake nails or even color on my nails, so I just get clear polish. It doesn’t surprise me that Claire gets bright red on hers.
After that, we go shopping for a little bit. Claire buys me some more shoes and clothes. She says I need school clothes. I’m pretty sure between what she bought me today and what she put in my closet, I wouldn’t have to wear the same outfit twice to school, but I don’t complain. Claire is being surprisingly pleasant and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with the only person in the house that will talk to me.
We go get our hair fixed after a day of shopping. She got us an appointment at this amazing salon. But the girl curls my hair and makes me look like a star from an idol group in Korea. I actually feel pretty.
Maybe I misjudged Claire. I mean, it’s not her fault that my dad married her. Dad didn’t even wait two months after his divorce with my mom was final before he married her. Really, it’s my dad’s fault. It was just easier to blame her.
“I can’t wait to see you in the dress I bought you,” she tells me, once we get back home. She sends Fredrick out to get the stuff we bought out of the back of her car. She has a small car and we filled it up.
I walk up the stairs and I go to my room. Claire goes the opposite way, but a couple minutes later, there is a knock on my door. I’ve hoped that Alfie would knock on my door so many times, but it’s never him. So I go to the door and open it, knowing it’s not him.
Claire is standing on the other side with a long white box in her hands. It has a big pink bow tied around it. She holds it out to me and I take it from her. I walk over to my bed and open it up. Inside, there is a beautiful, pink gown. I pull it out and hold it up to myself. The bottom of the dress ends right at my knees. It’s got a little tulle under the skirt, making it puff out a bit. And the top is modest. I won’t even have to wear anything over it.
“I love it,” I tell Claire.
She smiles big. “Good. You know, I’ve been seeing stuff like this when I go shopping and have wanted to buy it, but I don’t anybody to buy for. I’m too old to wear a short gown like that.”
“Why don’t you have any kids?” I ask. Maybe it’s a little personal, but she is my stepmom.
She sighs. “Your dad already has two kids. I’m not sure that he wants more. Any time I’ve talked about it with him, he always changes the subject. He’s older than me, so maybe he thinks he’s too old to have more kids.”
I try to imagine having a sibling now, but I’d be away at college by the time he or she would be born. It’s always been just Alfie and me. I like it that way. But if Claire and Dad had a baby, I think I’d be happy.
“Your dad has missed you a lot,” Claire says. “He doesn’t open up a lot, but I can see how sad he is. It breaks his heart that you never wanted to come visit him.”
I frown. “If he felt that way, then why isn’t he spending any time with me? I’ve only seen him once since I got here.”
“He works a lot,” she says. “He’s obsessed with his job. But he’s so glad you’re here.”
I don’t believe that.
I also know that Alfie is unhappy that I’m here.
Why did my mom force me to leave Seoul and come here? South Korea had become my home. I miss my mom. I miss my friends.
“What’s the point of me being here if they don’t want me here?” I ask her.
“I want you here,” she says. “And they do what you here. Just give Alfie time. He will have a change of heart. That boy loves you.”
“I love him too,” I say. “And I hate that he’s treating me this way. I don’t know how to react. Alfie and I never fought much as kids. Now he acts as if he can’t stand to be in the same room as me.”
“It’ll work out,” she says, patting my arm gently. “Now you, get dressed. I want to see you in this pretty dress.”
“Ne,” I say, bowing towards her. I grab the dress and go into my huge walk in closet to get dressed.
I pull the dress on and zip it up and much as I can. I come out of the closet and have Claire zip it up the rest of the way. When she does, I turn around so she can see it.
“What do you think?” I ask, after spinning in a circle.
“Gorgeous,” she says.
I hear Alfie’s door open.
“Alfie!” Claire yells.
Alfie sticks his head in my door. He looks at me for just a second, then looks at Claire, as if I’m not even in the room.
“You need something?” he asks.
“What do you think of Gracie’s dress for the ball?” she asks.
He looks at me again and shrugs his shoulder. “She looks too skinny to me. Like, she looks twelve. Nobody will believe she’s my twin.”
I want to reply with a sarcastic comment, but why add gasoline to a fire. Nope. I will just bide my time. Eventually, Alfie will forgive me. When he does, then I will get him back for this time he’s been mean to me.
With his comment, he walks away from my door and a few seconds later I hear the door to him room slam.
I jump at the sound.
“Don’t worry about him,” Claire says, putting a hand on my shoulder.
I shrug her hand off. “You should get ready,” I say curtly.
She looks hurt for half a second, making me feel bad, but she quickly smiles. “You’re right. We will be leaving in half an hour,” she says, walking towards the door. When she gets there, she turns around and looks at me. “Gracie, you’ll be the most beautiful girl there tonight.”
And my guilt just upped itself by a million.
“Thanks,” I tell her.
She walks out my door, closing it behind her.
I turn around and face myself in the full length mirror.
Alfie was right. I do look like a twelve year old.
You better not text him.
When I walk into the foyer thirty minutes later, Dad and Claire are already standing there waiting. A few seconds later, Alfie comes down behind me. He just looks at Dad and Claire. Though, I guess him ignoring me is better than him constantly hurting my feelings.
“Wow, Gracie. You look beautiful,” Dad tells me.
“At least you don’t have to worry about guys hitting on her,” Alfie says. “Except twelve year olds.”
And the insults begin.
“You’ve already told me I look like a twelve year old,” I say to him. “You need to get better insults if you’re going to keep this up.”
“No fighting,” Dad says.
“Let’s just get out of here,” Alfie says, storming past me. He opens the front door and I see a limo waiting there for us. He climbs in.
Dad motions for Claire and me to go first. I follow Claire. She gets in on the empty seat. I contemplate sitting beside her so I don’t have to sit by Alfie, but I don’t think Dad will let that happen. Instead, I take a seat by Alfie, who scoots over as far as he possibly can.
“I really wish the two of you would work things out,” Dad says, as he gets into the limo.
Alfie doesn’t say a word.
I turn and look out the window, and I hear my dad let out a sigh. He must be frustrated with me, but what can I do? Alfie has decided to hate me for some unknown reason. I don’t like it either.
“Gracie and I went shopping today,” Claire tells Dad. “We picked her up the cutest dresses.”
“That’s nice,” Dad says, then turns to me. “Did you have fun?”
I nod.
I did have fun. Claire isn’t my mom, but she’s also not the monster I thought she was. She’s actually… nice. I can see why my dad likes her.
“I don’t think I’ll have to wear the same outfit twice this school year,” I tell him. “You guys have been so generous. Especially with the car. Thank you. Claire says she’s going to take me for my driver’s test on Monday.”
“Monday?” Alfie asks, looking at me. “You jus
t got here. You think you can past the test that quick?”
“I studied the book yesterday,” I say.
“I studied the book for a month before I passed,” Alfie says, then rolls his eyes. “Whatever. You’ll fail anyway.”
“Gracie was first in her class in Seoul,” Dad says.
“Sometimes,” I say. “This one boy and me went back and forth between first and second. But when I left, I was first. I bet he’s glad he won’t have to compete with me anymore.”
“Isn’t school in Korea hard?” Alfie asks.
I nod. “It took me a while to catch up when I first moved here. There were days that I studied twenty hours. I got these real bad nose bleeds and even passed out from exhaustion once. After that, I found my balance and ended up doing well.”
“You would’ve rather lived like that there than live with me here?” he asks, now looking hurt.
“Alfie…”
He cuts me off. “Whatever, Gracie. I don’t want to hear it.”
Alfie turns to look out the other side of the window and tears fill my eyes. I turn away quickly so nobody can see. The last thing I want is for Alfie to know how much he hurt me. It would only give him satisfaction.
I’ll be strong. No matter what it takes, I’m going to survive.
After a twenty minute ride in complete silence, we finally reach our destination. We pull up in front of this huge mansion. It’s not quite as big as Dad’s house, but it’s still impressive. The limo comes to a stop in front, and somebody opens the door.
I get out first. An older guy holds out his hand, and I accept it, letting him help me out. Once I’m out, I stand there and look at the massive house in front of me.
“Impressive, right?” Alfie asks.
I nod, unable to answer.
“While you were living in a two bedroom apartment smaller than your bedroom and getting nose bleeds from studying so hard, I was here, going to parties and living an extravagant life. You don’t belong here anymore,” he says, then walks past me, inside the house.
After taking a deep breath, I follow him.
A Girl Like Gracie Page 2