He didn’t try to defend himself or show any offense, just nodded in agreement and headed for the stairs.
Mia was all alone in the kitchen and couldn’t have been happier. She looked through the bags and pulled out the items. Some peppers, onions, ground beef, onion, salt, cheese, eggs, limes, noodles. She knew she could throw something together with these.
Her mind flashed back to her mother teaching her how to cook. It was always important for a good wife to perform well in the kitchen, but being fantastic was even better. It was just another way to please a husband. They’d spent hours going over different combinations of flavors. Cooking had been one of the only lessons Mia enjoyed, and now she found a level of familiar comfort in the kitchen. She opened the fridge to put away the items she wouldn’t need while her brain started planning out future meals.
As she closed the refrigerator door Andrew appeared right behind it. Mia’s heart jumped as she choked back a scream. Placing her hand over her chest, she breathed heavily.
“You scared me.”
“I didn’t mean to,” he said. “Do you want some help?”
She wondered if this was his idea of an olive branch.
“Here.” She placed a tomato in his hand. “Chop this up.”
He took the fruit and looked confused about what to do next. Mia pointed to the counter. She pulled open a couple drawers and found a chef’s knife. She handed it over to Andrew.
“Be careful, they don’t have a cutting board, so don’t chop hard.”
She glanced at the sink and saw the pan she’d used for the French toast. This would have to work for browning the beef as well.
“What are you making?” Andrew asked.
“We are making tacos.” Mia started the stove. “Shell-less ones.”
“I have something to say to you.”
The sound of Andrew’s knife stopped.
Mia wasn’t sure she cared what he had to say. She was tired of trying to force emotion from him and getting nothing in return. He’d crossed a line last night.
“I’m sorry you’re a person,” he said.
“You’re . . . sorry . . . I’m a . . . person?” Mia was surprised by his words. She turned to face him.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Andrew was nervous about something. “I mean, I am sorry. You are a person, and I should treat you that way.”
“Thanks,” Mia said. She went back to the meat. It was strange to get an apology out of Andrew for anything. She glanced over at him. He looked so anxious, chopping the vegetables. He dropped the knife and rotated toward her.
“There are, umm, some other things I’d like to say.”
A drop of sweat dripped down his forehead, though he was fresh from a shower and the air-conditioning was on full blast.
“Are you feeling okay? You look like you’re sick.” She grabbed a dish towel from the sink, walked over, and handed it to him.
“No, no, I’m fine.” He wiped the sweat away, taking a huge breath. “Mia, I—”
“So what’s for dinner?” Carter said as he barreled down the stairs. “Oh, hey, Andrew, you helping the princess do the cooking?”
Carter pulled out a chair and plopped down at the table. He was grinning ear to ear, paying no attention to Andrew’s current state. Mia didn’t even think he’d bothered to look toward Andrew. His eyes were glued to her.
“What are you doing here?” Andrew’s voice was filled with annoyance.
“Well, I live here.” Carter smiled back, still looking at Mia. “And I’m awful at cards. I told Dad I’d rather hang with you . . . two.”
Mia shrugged her shoulders. Carter might have lied to Rod about whether something was going on with them, but he sure wasn’t trying to keep it a secret from Andrew. She wasn’t certain what was happening between the boys right now, but it wasn’t good. She tossed an onion toward Carter.
“If you’re going to eat, you’re going to help.”
“Your wish is my command, princess.”
The sound of Andrew’s chopping was loud and constant. He was whaling away at the tomato. Mia let out a sigh of relief. She wondered what he wanted to say. He’d already apologized, and it did seem sincere. She couldn’t think of what would make Andrew so nervous. He was usually so strong. Part of her longed to ask him what was bothering him and to provide him the comfort he obviously needed, but his actions from the night before still weighed heavily on her heart. He wasn’t her husband, and it wasn’t her duty to comfort anyone.
Chapter 62
While a wife will never impose the obligation of a party on her husband, he may ask her to perform hosting duties. She should look forward to them and be prepared to show off herself, her home, and her husband to whomever he wishes to welcome.
—The Registry Guide for Girls
Dinner was awkward. Mia missed Rod, who seemed to serve as a better buffer between the two young men. Carter wouldn’t stop rubbing his foot against hers under the table and Andrew wouldn’t stop trying to get Carter to leave. Mia didn’t want Carter to go and she didn’t want to play foot games either.
“It’s getting late, we should go to bed,” Andrew said.
“It’s not too late, and we took last night off from self-defense. Maybe we need a little more practice?” Carter asked.
Mia glanced toward Andrew, who grimaced. This entire situation was making her more and more uncomfortable, and she couldn’t stop thinking about what Andrew planned to say.
“Well, Rod is playing cards, how about the three of us play a game?” Mia hoped to keep everyone together. “Do either of you know any?”
“War. I’ll go get my deck of cards,” Carter said with a hint of smugness. Mia knew it was from the name of the game he’d chosen.
“No!” She grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. “I meant a board game. I saw some in the basement. Andrew, would you grab one?”
She looked at Andrew with sincerity. He didn’t seem to take offense at her suggestion and made his way downstairs. She had to avoid any alone time with him, for tonight at least. She didn’t want to hear about how they would never form a relationship, never have a strong bond. Her worries were interrupted when Carter placed his hand on her chin, tilting her head up for a quick kiss.
“Tonight, after you go to bed, I’m going to sneak down into your room.”
Mia felt like her eyes were going to bulge out of her head; she was enjoying the kisses but that was as far as it went. There would be no sleepovers.
“Blink, princess. Just for a little bit. I miss our time alone.” Carter gave his reassuring smile. “I’m not about to go after anything you don’t want.”
She felt the air enter her lungs again, but her mind kept going. If she wasn’t ready to give up thoughts of Andrew it wasn’t fair to keep sneaking around behind his back. She cursed herself for thinking this way. She owed nothing to Andrew and there was no reason she couldn’t kiss Carter, but her heart still told her it was wrong.
“Carter, that’s not a good idea,” she said.
“Is it because of the old laugh machine down there?” Carter asked. “He doesn’t have anything to do with you and me; don’t let him. I’m coming down.”
He gave her hand a quick kiss, but the sound of Andrew’s footsteps made her rip it away. She shook her head no as he nodded his yes, sticking his tongue out and kissing the air. Mia burst out laughing at his gesture. His eyes went soft and he gave her a pleading smile, still nodding his head. She gave in and nodded hers in return. It was so comforting to have someone around who could make her laugh.
After several hours of board games Mia had to get some sleep. She wished Carter pleasant dreams and was greeted with a wink. The thought of having him in her room scared and thrilled her at the same time. It felt so foreign, so dangerous. She couldn’t imagine what her parents would say if they knew . . . and that alone seemed like a reason to do it. She hopped into the bathroom to brush her teeth and Andrew was right behind her.
“Hey, I was ho
ping I could finish talking with you.”
He leaned next to the mirror, staring at Mia. His intense gaze sent shivers down her spine. With the distraction of Carter’s whispered promises, Andrew’s talk had nearly slipped her mind.
“Whatever you had to say, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you, we’re fine. More fights will happen before we leave and as long as we’re together. We’ll get used to it.”
She continued brushing her teeth, but out of the corner of her eye she could see the disappointment on his face. She stopped cleaning and spat. It was nice to get some reaction from him for once. Just when she was about to give him the go-ahead for the speech, his face changed. He was back to the standard cold-faced Andrew. He might as well be a robot.
“Yes, you’re right,” he said. “Good night.”
He walked out of the bathroom with his back stick-straight. Mia shook her head in disbelief. He had such a strange effect on her. She wanted to hug him and slap him at the same time. He was impossible. She washed her mouth out and walked back to her room, shifting her thoughts to her night visitor.
Looking through her closet, she decided it was best to stay in the pink dress. She didn’t want the pajamas to give him the wrong idea. This was going to be just some quick, wonderful, sweet, easy kisses. The lights clicked off; Andrew was ready for bed. She flipped on her lantern and sat up. Lying down would also give the wrong idea. She licked her lips in anticipation. She always had so much fun with Carter, and that was all it was. Easy fun.
Touching her lips, she wondered what it would be like to kiss Andrew. She had a hard time believing it would be the same. Carter’s kisses were soft and full of little giggles. She imagined kissing Andrew would be deep and passionate. Her thoughts were broken when she heard the door pop open. Carter walked in and closed the door behind him.
“Shhhh,” Mia said, not wanting to draw attention.
“Hi,” he said, and sat next to her.
He rubbed her shoulder. She looked toward him and he gave his cunning look. An idea popped into Mia’s brain. She reached over and flipped off the lantern, climbing on top of his lap in the process.
“Someone’s aggressive tonight,” Carter said. Mia held her finger over his lips, signaling that he should be silent.
She ran her fingers through his hair and closed her eyes. Instead of Carter she pictured herself with Andrew. The hair wasn’t long and blond, it was wavy and black. The body wasn’t wide and muscular, it was tall and lean. She leaned in and kissed him hard and deep. She felt herself push him back onto the bed. Lost in her thoughts, Mia felt like this was her first real kiss.
Chapter 63
You were born in the greatest country in the world. Your time in service will make sure we stay number one.
—The Boy’s Guide to Service
Agent Ross twiddled his thumbs against the table. Irritated, Grant shot him a stern look.
“Relax. You’ll never get anywhere without patience.”
Grant turned back to the latest batch of files his research team had found for him. It turned out lots of oddballs lived in the Southwest Area. The latest face to cross his desk was a man who’d had his daughters removed from his home by force after refusing to enroll them in the Registry. It was revolting.
Grant knew Agent Ross was worried they had nothing now, but Grant was certain she was in the area. Everything she had done so far followed logic, and it was logical for her to hide here. He enjoyed Agent Ross and didn’t want to see him follow in Leonard’s footsteps.
“You sure about not releasing the boy’s photo still?”
“This is a close-knit area, and with this many possible helpers we would shut them off if we did a press release. I’m not sure there is a single decent American around who would do the right thing and turn her over to her husband.” Grant tossed the file. “We stick with the plan. You have your best agents out there flashing that boy’s picture. Someone must have seen him. He’s not in hiding.”
“Well, if the community is so rotten and willing to protect the girl, what will make them turn him over?” Agent Ross asked.
Grant noticed there wasn’t a single hint of sarcasm in his voice.
“Your agents and my men are informing the good people of Gila Bend that he’s received a large inheritance, but in the grief of his father’s passing he ran away. We’re just trying to find him before he enlists and it’s too late.”
“They won’t think it’s strange he had a father?” Agent Ross was bred from the same stock as the majority of American sons.
“Not in this area; we’ve already found fourteen sons kept by their parents. I don’t think there are that many in the whole Northeast Area.”
“Lucky boys,” Ross said.
“Lucky?” Grant raised an eyebrow. “Boys raised like that don’t grow into men. They never make it out of service alive. Their parents aren’t saving them. They are sentencing them to die.”
Agent Ross shrugged and nodded in agreement. The phone went off with a loud shrill, stopping the conversation. Grant was glad for the break.
“Agent Ross.”
The quick greeting made Grant like his new friend a little bit more. He turned to the next file.
“Where at? The Rowe house in Theba? How far are you? Ten minutes?”
Grant rose from his chair. He looked at his outfit, a brown polo and checked brown shorts with brown sandals. He would have liked a more fashionable look to greet his wife in, but it would have to do. He caught sight of a white cardigan hanging on a hook and grabbed it, just in case a desert chill set in. Feeling more presentable, he walked over toward the phone and ripped it out of Ross’s hands.
“Good work, agents, this is Grant Marsden. I am proud of you boys. Now, sit tight; do not enter that house under any circumstances. Stay out of sight. Don’t let them know you are there. Do you understand?”
“Sir, that’s against procedure. We have to go in and get her right away,” the agent on the phone said. He was not familiar with Grant’s procedures.
“Listen. If you set a foot in that house without me I will make you suffer. Even if you get her, you will not be rewarded. You will be terminated.” Grant didn’t mean from their jobs.
After a momentary silence the agent gave a “Yes, sir.” Grant tossed the phone back toward Agent Ross.
“Do you want me to pull up the car? We’re about thirty minutes away,” Agent Ross said.
“Car? No, don’t be stupid.”
Grant was excited. Tonight was the night. He would have her, and she would pay.
Chapter 64
Remember, you will enter service as a boy and leave as a man. You will be worthy of an identity, a new life that you can create for yourself.
—The Boy’s Guide to Service
Tell her. Andrew kept repeating the words over and over in his mind as he tried to sleep. Tell her everything. Why was it so difficult? He closed his eyes and her face was the only thing he saw. When she had first said hello to him standing outside her father’s office, his heart had almost stopped. And she still gave him the same feeling.
He’d had enough. This was pure torture. She was just across the basement, tucked away. He wondered if she was thinking about him, too. He’d promised himself tonight was the night he’d come clean. He tried to tell himself he didn’t have anything to fear, that he wasn’t even risking rejection; she’d already made her feelings clear to him. But he knew it wasn’t true. So much had happened since the bed in Saint Louis. Even then there was always the possibility she had just been curious about kissing or she didn’t know how to behave with a male so close to her. He was terrified. He’d made a life keeping himself bottled up, making it impossible for people to tell how he was feeling or what he was thinking. He knew that by telling her anything he was betraying the code that had kept him safe all these years. So maybe it was okay if he waited another day.
His body had just started to calm down when Rod’s words echoed through his head. Feelings can always change. This fl
ung him out of bed. He didn’t want to be safe and alone. He would rather be at risk and with her. He fumbled in the darkness for his lantern and switched it on. He dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a fresh T-shirt. It didn’t matter how he looked; he had to do this before he lost his nerve.
The cold basement floor felt nice on his feet; the coolness spread up through his body, combating his racing heart. He stood in front of her door and breathed, readying himself for the knock. He reminded himself it was late and she might be asleep. He didn’t want to wake her and debated walking back to his room. Maybe he would check. There was a chance she was still awake. He reached for the secret lever before he had a chance to change his mind, and the door popped open. He slid it back, not prepared for what, or who, awaited him.
Him?!”
Andrew watched in shock as Mia pulled away from Carter and sat up on her bed. She looked flustered in the lantern light. He noticed her hair was out of place, probably from Carter’s hands running through it, and he bit his lips to keep from screaming in pain. After several drawn-out seconds he finally found the nerve to speak.
“You want him?” Andrew’s voice remained steady.
At this point Carter sat up too, and instead of showing offense at Andrew’s comments he wrapped his arm around Mia’s shoulders. Andrew expected the gesture to fill him with rage, but it didn’t; he felt only defeat as he watched her try to shrug Carter off with little success.
“Andrew, I didn’t know how you felt,” Mia started to say.
“Stop. I made a mistake.” Andrew gulped. He wanted to tell her his error was spurning her advances and failing to act earlier, but his defenses were up again. “I made a mistake in thinking that this could be something, but I am better off alone. You don’t need my protection anymore. I need to go back to focusing on myself again. Thank you. For showing me how wrong I was.”
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