by Lily Cahill
Finally, Jax nodded. “I was going to ask her to marry me. I thought … I thought she felt the same way.” Jax’s eyes went unfocused, and he had to shove his hands under his thighs to hide how they shook.
“She really is your mate, isn’t she?” Bret asked quietly.
“Email her,” Drew said suddenly. He stood up and handed his tablet to Jax. “Tell her everything you couldn’t in the moment.”
“And throw in a VIP ticket and a swanky hotel stay for the final show in Chicago,” Chase added. He shrugged. “It won’t hurt, right?”
Jax looked around at his brothers, his bandmates. Besides Tiff, they were the most important people in his life, the only ones who knew him completely. His heart swelled with emotion for them. “Thanks, guys,” he said gruffly. He met Drew’s eyes. “I did something else,” he said, suddenly worried he’d betrayed Drew by getting in touch with his ex-fiancé. “I called Kirsten, got her to look at some of Tiff’s work.”
“Drew’s Kirsten?” Chase said.
“She’s not my Kirsten,” Drew said quickly, though Jax noticed he’d curled his hands into fists. After a moment, he nodded at Jax. “I would have done the same for my mate. Did Kirsten take an interest?”
“She did.”
Drew smiled, though it was fleeting. “She always did recognize a good thing when she saw it.”
The bus went quiet, so Jax bent over the tablet and wrote a long email to Tiff then booked two nights in Chicago. Then, to keep himself from checking his email every two minutes, he took out a notebook and started writing lyrics. With Tiff in his mind and her encouragement to find a deeper meaning to his songs, the words flowed freely. By the time the bus pulled up outside the concert hall in Madison, he’d covered three pages in scrawling stanzas and choruses.
He warmed up, half his mind on Tiff and lyrics, and spent the rest of the day writing. Finally, he let himself check his email right before they went on stage for the gig. The opening band was killing it on their final song, the heavy bass and driving drums reverberating all the way from Jax’s boots up to his chest. Out on stage, lights strobed through the packed house, and fans screamed. Jax turned his back on the spectacle and pulled up his email on his phone.
She hadn’t responded.
Chapter Seventeen
Tiff
TIFF SAW THE EMAIL FROM Jax immediately. It pinged into her inbox as she was unsuccessfully trying to work in Photoshop. She didn’t have the guts to open it. Rejecting Jax had taken everything in her. If she sat still and listened to her heart, it was still demanding that she jump in her car and drive to Madison and give herself over to Jax. So what that he’d been with other women. So what that he basically said he’d never change. She needed him. God, she needed him so much. And she hated herself for it.
Tiff slammed her hand down onto her desk. At her feet, Mal the bulldog jumped up—startled from sleep—and started growling at the door. Tiff fell to her knees and pulled the dog into a hug. Mal licked at her face, then curled back up and was snoring within seconds.
The clock on her computer ticked over to eight o’ clock. It’d been nearly ten hours since their fight. No, not their fight, Tiff reminded herself. The end to their fling. She had to keep reminding herself of that. Lacy, for all her harshness, was right when she’d said that word. It wasn’t a relationship she’d had with Jax Hart, it was a fling. And it was flung.
Tiff stalked to the work table and grabbed a precision knife and some mounting board. She needed to do something. She flicked off the cap and went to work slicing down the board to the frame size. Her hands shook, and the lines were ragged. This was useless. It was all useless. Tiff capped the knife and jammed it into the back pocket of her jeans.
An idea took hold in Tiff’s mind, and in her misery it seemed the key to all her problems. She whistled for Mal and strode back to the house, punching in Lacy’s number as she went.
“I’m calling up my favor from the drunk driving incident,” she practically barked into the phone. Mal whined at her feet, but she was too agitated to pet him.
“What?”
“I need to go to the cabin, and if we leave right now we’ll be there by midnight.”
Lacy started whining—not unlike Mal—but Tiff spoke over her. “Come on, Lace. I just got two-timed and dumped by a rockstar. Do this for me.”
There was a long sigh down the phone line. “I’m on my way over in five.”
Tiff took the stairs two at a time and threw some clothes in an overnight bag, along with her camera and two lenses. She jotted a quick note to her dad and brother—both were pulling third shift tonight—and stalked back and forth in the kitchen.
Five minutes passed. Then ten. Where the hell was Lacy? The momentum had burned away inside of Tiff, leaving behind an exhaustion that she hadn’t felt since those first days after her mom’s death. Tiff slumped into a kitchen chair and took out her phone. She stared at it, at the little email icon alerting her to an unread message.
She opened it.
Tiff— My love, my heart. I can’t live with myself if today was good-bye. But if it was, I need to tell you some things. From the second I saw you at Firefly, you have consumed me. Growing up with my miserable father, I wanted to believe that everything I had learned about myself was false—as false as he was. I told myself I didn’t believe in soulmates, that there was no perfect key to my lock. But then I saw you, and I knew it was all real. I had a vision of you years ago, and I’ve dreamed of you ever since, and then you were there—right there! Tiff, you were even better in person than the woman I’d dreamed of nightly for years.
That night when you ran out, I wanted to chase after you right away, but something stopped me. I don’t even know what. Pride. Stupidity. You’re not going to like to hear this, but I tried to be with someone else that night, but I couldn’t get you out of my head. Every part of who I am longed for you.
These past few days have been the very best of my entire life. And I hope they were for you too. I will always always believe that the life we can build together will be one of happiness, respect, and a love deeper than either of us can comprehend. But if that isn’t what you want, I will respect it.
There’s something else I have to tell you. I have a contact at National Geographic (it’s actually my brother’s former fiancé) and I showed her your work. Kirsten was impressed, just like I knew she would be. She wants to take you on at the magazine. I can’t wait to open a national magazine someday and see your amazing work on the pages. You deserve it so much, Tiff. When that day comes, I hope I’m there to share it with you.
Just in case you’ve changed your mind and can give me another chance to prove myself, I’ve put you on the VIP list for our final show in Chicago and have booked two nights in your name at The Drake Hotel.
I love you,
Jax
I love you, Jax. “I love you, Jax,” Tiff whispered, swiping tears from her eyes.
Her eyes flew over the email again, and her heart was so large she could hardly breathe around it. Tiff jumped to her feet and spun in a circle, looking for her keys. If she hurried, maybe she’d make it to Madison to meet Jax there, or she could go wait at his hotel. All Tiff knew was, she was going to see Jax again. She was going to kiss him and make love to him and make her life with him.
The front door opened with a creak, and Lacy called her name.
“Back here!” Tiff was pacing again, but this time with nervous excitement. Lacy stopped in the hallway, her head cocked at Tiff. She was dragging a giant suitcase, like they were moving in to the cabin, not visiting for the weekend.
“Change in plans,” Tiff said, and shoved the phone into Lacy’s hands. She watched as Lacy read the email, twisting her hands together and shifting back and forth on her feet.
Lacy pressed her lips together and finally looked up with a frown. “Oh, this is cruel,” she whispered.
“What?” Tiff froze.
“He strung you along while he was here, and now he does thi
s? Why can’t he just let you be?”
Tiff strode forward and glanced at the email pulled up on her phone. “Did you not read the same thing I just did?”
Lacy sighed deeply. “Think about it, Tiff. Think clearly.” Lacy glanced back down at the email. “He had a ‘vision’ of you? What the hell sort of bullshit is that?”
Tiff snatched the phone back and slid it into her pocket.
“Come on, Tiff. He’s a rockstar. You really think he found his soulmate in our little backwoods town? You think it’s you?”
Tiff gasped at Lacy’s words, and her friend looked cowed. She scrunched her forehead up and waved her hand. “I didn’t mean—”
“No,” Tiff said, cutting her off. “I know exactly what you mean. You can’t believe someone would choose me when you’re an option. Is that why we’ve been friends all these years? Keep the chubby girl around to make you look even skinnier and more blond?”
“Tiff, I would never—”
Tiff pushed past Lacy and strode down the hall. “Save it for someone who buys it, Lacy. I’m going to Jax’s hotel and going with him to Chicago.”
“Tiff, wait!” Lacy pounded down the hall after her and grabbed her arm. “You’re my best friend, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Tiff stopped, but she didn’t turn around. Lacy sniffled. “You’re right, I am jealous. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve someone awesome. I just …. You’ve never hidden the fact that you want to get away from here, that you’ve got bigger dreams than New Scandia, Wisconsin. But I don’t. I like it here. I like my life. And I can’t help but think of what you think of that, how little you must think of me.”
Tiff spun around and grabbed Lacy in a tight hug. No matter her faults, no matter their differences, Tiff and Lacy had been in each other’s lives for nearly twenty years.
“I’m going to miss you, Tiff,” Lacy whispered.
Tiff stood back, holding Lacy by the shoulders. She grinned. “Just think of all the guys you’ll meet when you come visit me.”
A slow smile curled on Lacy’s lips. She yanked her keys out of her pocket. “Let’s go get your rockstar.”
Tiff jiggled her knees as Lacy drove to the hotel. She tried Jax again—his phone went straight to voicemail. She left another message.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to wait with you?” Lacy parked the car in front of the hotel just outside town and scanned the parking lot. There were no tour buses. There were barely any cars. The place had emptied out since Firefly ended the evening before.
Crap. Tiff tapped her phone against her thigh in agitation. What if they’d already left for Chicago? Jax had said they were staying the night here, right? Maybe they weren’t back from Madison yet. That was probably it.
Tiff climbed out of the car, hauling her weekender bag and camera tote with her. She dropped her phone into her bag and leaned back into the car. “I’ll hang out in the lobby,” she told Lacy. “I’ll text you when he shows, okay?”
Lacy glanced around again, her lips pursed. It was raining lightly, and the sun had long since disappeared. Finally, she nodded. “If I don’t hear from you, you best believe I’ll call your dad.”
Tiff smiled. “I’ll be fine.” She dashed for the covered walkway in front of the rooms, skipping around puddles. She waved to Lacy and watched her drive off. Tiff shivered and rubbed her arms. She should have grabbed a jacket.
She turned to go warm up in the lobby when lights flashed. She squinted out into the darkness to see a white SUV rolling up. The car slowed in front of her, and a window rolled down.
“There you are!” a voice called from inside.
Tiff squinted harder and finally recognized Derek. “Did Jax send you?”
Derek leaned over and pushed the passenger side door open. “They went on ahead to Chicago, but he wanted me to stay back and wait for you, just in case.”
“Oh,” Tiff said, slowly. “All right, then.” She climbed in, even as her years of living under a deputy’s roof yelled at her not to. This was Stranger Danger 101 stuff here. But Derek wasn’t a stranger; he was Jax’s tour manager. And if he knew enough to wait at the hotel for her, surely he was telling the truth.
Tiff slid into the seat, shaking rainwater out of her hair. “Thanks,” she said. “I thought I’d catch him before you guys left. Jax emailed and said he’d book a room for me, but I think it’s for tomorrow night.”
Derek didn’t reply, he just eased the car into drive and turned out of the parking lot. Turned the wrong way.
“Um, you’re going north right now. Chicago is south.”
Still, Derek didn’t respond.
“Listen, I should probably just drive myself. I don’t want to put you out.”
Derek slid a greasy glance Tiff’s way. “Oh, you’re not putting me out. You’re doing exactly what I wanted.”
Tiff’s lungs deflated and her muscles jumped. She lunged for the car door, but Derek swerved the wheel, knocking her against him. Tiff lashed out, scratching down his arm, and Derek roared. He slammed on the brakes, and Tiff jerked forward.
Her forehead smacked against the dashboard, and stars popped in her vision. She slumped back against the seat, her movements sluggish and her mind lagging.
The last thing she remembered was a cloying scent and a cloth covering her nose and mouth.
Chapter Eighteen
Jax
JAX BLINKED AWAKE WITH A low groan. Where the hell was he? His throat felt like it was filled with sand and his eyes stung. He tried to sit up, but holy shit did his head pound.
He grit his teeth against the pain and pushed himself up to sit. He was on the tour bus. But he couldn’t remember getting there. He moaned and dropped his head between his knees, fighting back a wave of nausea. He must have gone on one hell of a bender to feel this bad.
Tiff. He had meant to check in with Tiff again. He glanced out the bus window and frowned. They were stopped, and it was absolutely dark out, rain lashing against the windows. Jesus, what happened?
“Hello?”
Toward the back of the bus, someone moaned. Jax staggered to his feet and went to find the source of the voice. He tripped over Bret first. He was out cold, so was Chase dumped next to him. He found Drew shoved onto one of the couches and shook his brother awake.
“What happened?” Drew asked, his voice raspy.
Chase answered from behind Jax. “My money was on the whiskey, but you don’t touch the stuff, Drew.”
Bret looked out the window with a frown. “We’re stopped. And it’s cold enough in here to assume we’ve been stopped for a while. Where’s Derek?”
Derek wasn’t in the bus. They were all alone, parked on the side of some forest road in near blackness. Jax found the spare set of keys under the driver’s seat and reached for his phone in his pocket. It was gone.
“Can’t find my phone,” he called out. “Can one of you give me yours?”
“Mine’s gone too,” Chase called out.
Bret and Drew couldn’t find theirs either.
What in the hell was going on? Jax felt the first drop of fear slip like acid into his stomach. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.
“Found it!” Drew shouted.
Jax bared down against his headache and ran for the back of the bus. His phone—battery pulled out—was sitting with the others on top of a paper scrawled with just a single line:
This is for Delilah Swann.
“Delilah Swann?” Jax pressed fingers to his temples. The name sounded familiar in his mouth, but it was a distant memory, something that had gone cloudy with time.
Drew’s face had gone stony, and his hands were rigid as he gripped the paper. He shared a look with Chase, though Bret looked just as confused as Jax.
And then Jax knew. Delilah Swann was one of Errol Hart’s victims.
“Dad,” he spat. “That bastard.”
Drew pulled in a shaky breath. “She was one of the last he murdered. I can’t quite remember
it all now, but I think that’s right around the time Mom left.”
Jax jerked his head up. “I’ve got to call Tiff.” He didn’t know why, but everything in him demanded it. He had to hear her voice. Something about all of this seemed to lead to her.
Chase handed over his phone, since only Jax’s was missing a battery. He stared at it for a moment, then hissed in anger. He didn’t know her number from memory.
Chase grabbed the phone back and held a finger up. “I’ll call Lacy.”
“And I’ll call Mac,” Drew said.
Jax paced back and forth, agitated and feeling horribly impotent, as his brothers spoke in low, hurried voices on the phone. Chase hung up, then Drew. Neither looked happy, and Drew was ashen.
Chase took a breath. “Lacy dropped her off at the hotel to wait for you and she thinks she saw a white SUV pull up beside her. She didn’t see if she got in, but she said she tried calling Tiff and she didn’t pick up.”
Jax’s heart jumped painfully in his chest, drowning out the throbbing in his head. He looked to Drew, and the expression he saw on his brother’s face nearly brought him to his knees.
“We were right,” Drew said, his voice tight. “Delilah was one of his victims. He raped and murdered her, and it was what finally brought him to justice. You and Bret were probably too young to remember, but the entire Swann clan threatened to go to war with us if Mac didn’t depose Errol.”
“Okay, and?” Bret said quickly. “What does this have to do with us, today?”
Drew took a deep breath and met Jax’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jax. I should have recognized him. I’m the oldest, I should have known. Delilah left behind a husband and a son, but they left. They came back to Wisconsin and became part of Delilah’s clan. The Cravens.”
Jax fell back into a seat. No. No. No.