They set the date for the next week, which, miraculously, suited everyone. Jack said he'd bring the Champagne, and Amanda was busy planning the dinner. There was something very touching about it, and very poignant. And she couldn't help thinking about Matt that afternoon, and how her life had changed. She had loved him deeply for so many years, but he was gone, and she wasn't. Her life had moved on. And hard as it was to believe after so long, she was very much in love with Jack Watson.
She worked frantically all week organizing the dinner and by the time the day came she was a nervous wreck. But when Jack arrived with the wine, the table was set, dinner was well on its way, and she looked lovely.
I hate to say it, but you don't look like anyone's mother. Certainly not a bunch of kids the age of ours.
Thank you, she smiled, and kissed him, and she could feel his desire for her as he held her. She laughed as he looked at his watch and then at her, and she shook her head. We don't have time, you monster.
Well, if you open the door naked again, we won't have to tell them anything. Look at it that way.
Later, she promised, and kissed him again. Just touching her drove him crazy.
Julie and Louise and their husbands arrived on time, and Jan and Paul came shortly after. Everyone looked nice, and they all commented on how pretty the house looked. Amanda had put flowers everywhere, and there seemed to be an aura of celebration. But both Jan and Louise looked enormously surprised to see Jack there. He came out of the kitchen, opening a bottle of wine, and greeted everyone with ease, and then kissed Jan, and his daughter. Julie had already figured it out by then. She had been wondering all week why he had invited her to come to dinner at Amanda's, and she had been very suspicious. After that, it wasn't hard to deduce, for her at least, what he was going to tell them. All she wanted to know was if they were getting married, but she decided to wait and see what they told them.
Jan was very cool to him, and Louise was downright rude, and openly ignored him. And everyone except Julie looked worried. She had a live-and-let-live attitude about everything that had always made everyone love her. She had a happy marriage, good kids, and she had always loved her father, in spite of his outrageous behavior. Paul had always been far more critical of him, and Julie had always suspected he was jealous. Paul was so much milder, more afraid, and although he was handsome, he had never had their father's starding good looks. And as he sat down in Amanda's living room, Paul already looked angry, and he and his wife were exchanging suspicious glances.
The conversation at dinner was strained, although the dinner was good, and it was obvious that Amanda had gone to a lot of trouble. And Jack did his best to help her, he talked easily with everyone, and tried to draw them out in conversation, but it was like trying to drag a grand piano. And finally at dessert, he poured the Champagne, looked around the room, and said that there was something he and Amanda wanted to tell them.
Oh God, I can't believe this, Louise said loudly.
Why don't you wait until we tell you? Jack said pleasantly, and she looked daggers at him. She had never liked him. And neither had Amanda she would have liked to remind her of it at that moment.
Your mother and I, he glanced at Jan and Louise, and then at his own son and daughter, Amanda and I have been seeing each other for a while. We enjoy each other's company a great deal, and we're very happy together, and we wanted you to know it. That's all, nothing more than that, but we thought you should know what we were up to, and we were both sure, he smiled at the woman who had brought him so much happiness in the last two and a half months, that you would all be happy for us.
Well, don't be, Louise said tartly, and Amanda looked both crushed and startled. This is ridiculous. You brought us here to tell us that? That you're sleeping with each other, and we're supposed to congratulate you for it? That's disgusting.
So is your attitude, Louise, Amanda said firmly. That's an extremely rude thing to say. She glanced apologetically at Jack, and then back at her daughter.
This is an extremely rude thing to do, Louise said, with open fury, to bring us here, to my father's house, to tell us that you two are having an affair. My God, don't you have any decency left, Mom? What about Daddy?
What about Daddy? Amanda said, looking right at her daughter. I loved your father very much, and you know it. But Daddy's gone, Louise. It was a terrible shock for all of us, me more than anyone. There were times last year when I thought I wouldn't survive it, when I even wanted to kill myself because I didn't want to live without him. But I have a right to live my life again, and Jack has been wonderful to me. She reached out and touched his hand, and glanced at him. He was looking upset and worried. He's a kind, decent man, and he makes me very happy, Louise.
Why don't you just tell us about your sex life, Mom? And how long has this been going on? Did it start before Daddy died? Were you having an affair with him then? Is that it?
Louise! How dare you say that! You know that's not true. I started seeing Jack after Jan took me to a party at Julie's.
Oh my God ' I can't believe this' . Jan looked at her mother and started to cry, and Paul was shooting dark, angry looks at his father. Jerry, Louise's husband, was staring at his dinner plate, and wishing he didn't have to be there. This was not his problem.
Why don't you all just calm down for a minute, and let's all act like grown-ups, why don't we? Julie's was the voice of reason, and Amanda was suddenly grateful to her, although she scarcely knew her.
I think that's a good idea, Jack said in the brief breach when everyone was marshaling their forces. Let's have some Champagne. He poured for everyone, and the entire room sat in stony silence. He picked up his glass, and held it up to Amanda. To you, sweetheart, thank you for a beautiful dinner. There were tears in her eyes, and no one touched their glasses.
So when are you two getting married? Louise was looking at them with revulsion and open fury.
We're not. Jack spoke for them. There's no reason to. We're not your age. We're not going to have kids. We can have a good life together without making it legal. Julie smiled, she knew him well, and how much he hated even the idea of marriage. No one's going to lose any money on this deal, if that's what you're all worried about. He was more than a little annoyed at them, and Amanda could hear it. No one is going to lose anything. But what you've gained is two happy parents. We love you, and we wanted to share our happiness with you. It doesn't seem like a lot to ask, to ask you all to be happy for us, and gracious about it. He was furious at their collective reaction.
How could you do this, Mom? Jan asked with tears streaming down her cheeks. You hate him! she said, looking daggers at Jack, and he laughed and took Amanda's hand in his own.
I don't think so, Jan. And we care a lot about your happiness and Paul's. We talk about you all the time ' that's why it was important to us to tell you.
Well, I think you're both disgusting and pathetic, Louise said, standing up from the table. You would think that people your age could keep your pants on, for chrissake. My father's hardly been dead a year, and I guess Little Old Hot Pants Mom just couldn't wait to get out and party.
Louise! Amanda stood up with a look of fury. Do you remember how depressed I was, and how worried you all were about me?
Little did we know what you'd do when you recovered. Well, she said derisively, with a pointed look at her husband, which brought him to his feet beside her, it was certainly a great evening, and I hope you two little rabbits will be very happy. With that, she strode to the door, picked up her jacket on the way out, and slammed the door behind them, as Jan burst into tears again and Paul held her.
Jan, please, Amanda said, with a look of sorrow. It had been a terrible evening for all of them, but mostly for Jack, and for her.
Mom, how could you do this? Why did you tell us? Don't you know how embarrassing this is for us? We don't want to know about it.
Why not? Jack asked without embarrassment. Why shouldn't your mother share her life with you? Don't you wan
t her to be happy? He sounded so reasonable that Jan looked at him and stopped crying.
Why can't she be happy alone? Why can't she just remember my father?
Because she's a young, vital, beautiful woman, Jan. Why should she be alone? Is that what you would do if something happened to Paul?
That's different.
Why? Because you're younger than we are? Even people our age have a right not to be alone, to companionship, to happiness, to love. '
This isn't about 'love,' Paul said darkly. We all know that about you, Dad, don't we?
Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do, Son.
I'm happy for you, Dad, Julie said quietly, and came around the table to kiss him, and then she went and did the same to Amanda, and there were tears in Amanda's eyes as she thanked her. She was the only one who had been decent to them. The others had been a nightmare.
I'm sorry this has been so hard for all of you, Amanda said quietly, dabbing at her eyes with her napkin. She felt as though she were going to start sobbing any minute, and she didn't want to give them that satisfaction, but it was incredibly hard not to. We didn't want to upset you, but it seemed more honest to tell you. I didn't want to lie to you. She looked at Jan, and in the same instant Jan realized that Paul had been right on New Year's Day with his outrageous suggestion. There had been a man in the house. It was Paul's father. She closed her eyes in horror.
We hope you'll adjust in time, Jack said quietly, and Paul said something in a whisper to Jan, and they both got up and left the table, and put their coats on.
We're going, Jan said, looking like an angry child from the doorway. It was exactly the way she had looked when she was five years old and getting ready to have a tantrum.
I love you, Amanda said sadly from the table, too beaten to get up, or try to stop her. And the door closed softly behind them, as Julie and her husband stood up, and she came around again to her father. She was a pretty girl and she looked just like him.
I'm sorry, Dad. They were awful.
They sure were. He glanced at Amanda with a worried expression. She had predicted that it would be hard for them, but neither of them had expected this onslaught.
They'll get over it. I think part of it is just the shock of knowing that their dad has been replaced in some ways, and then she smiled, and it's hard to think of your parents having fun ' and having sex. She blushed. You guys are supposed to be institutions, not people, she said wisely, and her father smiled proudly at her. She was a terrific young woman, and in their own way, so were the others, but they didn't have the largeness of spirit that she did.
I guess it was too much for them. You were right, he glanced at Amanda, we shouldn't have told them.
I'm glad we did, she said, and totally surprised him. She left her place at the table and came to stand next to him, with Julie and her husband. We did the right thing, and if they can't live with it or even try to deal with it, then that's not our problem. We have a right to more in our lives than just being parents. The only thing that bothers me is that I never realized I had such totally selfish children. But I'm not giving up my life for them. I'm not going to stop being there for them, or loving them, and if they can't be there for me, then that's their loss. Julie put her arms around her then, and Amanda's chin quivered as she held her. And a few minutes later, Julie and her husband left, and Jack took Amanda in his arms and she sobbed piteously. And he felt desperately sorry for her. The evening had been such a disappointment.
I'm so sorry, sweetheart. What a bunch of rotten kids we have, he said, with a smile. But he was angry that they had hurt her.
Yours are fine, or Julie at least. Mine were the ones who were awful.
They want their daddy. And they don't think you have a right to a life with anyone else. It's pretty simple. I didn't take it personally. I understand it. But I hate what they did to you. They'll get over it.
Maybe. She didn't sound convinced, but oddly enough it didn't make her regret anything they had done. It only made her feel closer to Jack, and that night they went to Malibu, after she cleaned up the dining room and put the dishes in the dishwasher. She didn't want to be in the house where her children had been so unpleasant to them. She wanted to be at Jack's, in his big comfortable bed, in his arms, and she wanted to forget everything that had happened.
She still looked sad when they went to bed that night, and he held her in his arms, and they talked about it for a long time. He wished that there was some way he could make it better.
Give them time, sweetheart. I guess even at their age, it's a big adjustment.
They're happy. Why can't I be?
Because you're their mom. You heard what Julie said. Parents, and certainly people our age, aren't supposed to have sex, God forbid. They think it's disgusting.
They should only know ' it's a lot better than it was at their age.
Shhh ' let's keep that a secret! he said, and kissed her tenderly, and a moment later she could feel how aroused he was and how much he wanted her, and she wanted him just as badly. They made love hungrily, and afterward, he heard a soft chuckle in the darkness. What are you laughing at? But he was pleased that she was obviously feeling better.
That morning on New Year's Day when Jan saw me naked on the doorstep, and I wouldn't let her in. She must be having a fit over it. I guess I looked pretty silly.
You looked pretty good to me ' 'silly' isn't a word I would have used to describe you. But she had been silly that day, and they both knew it. She had been in a total panic.
Maybe we should put the children up for adoption, she said sleepily, turning on her side toward him, as he kissed her.
That's a great idea. We'll invite them to dinner and tell them.
Hmmm ' great idea ' you bring ' the ' Champagne' . But she was already asleep in his arms as she said it, and he looked at her with a slow smile. She was quite a woman, and he wouldn't have given her up for anything in the world, no matter what their kids said, or how angry they were at them. He was going to hang on to her now for dear life.
Chapter Eight
The rest of February disappeared in the blink of an eye, and in March the children were still cool to Amanda. She and Jack talked about it from time to time, and he knew how much it bothered her, but there was nothing they could do about it, except wait for them to come around once they'd adjusted. Jan hardly ever called her mother anymore, and Louise was openly hostile to her whenever Amanda went to visit the children. In her case, her reaction was particularly hard to understand, since she had never gotten along with her father.
But Amanda and Jack were so busy these days that at least most of the time, she was distracted. But there was no denying that her daughters' reaction to them was taking a toll on her. She seemed to have stomach problems all the time, and constant indigestion. And Jack was still urging her to go to see a doctor.
This has gone on for a while. I think you should check it out. You could be getting an ulcer.
I could be. She hadn't been able to drink coffee in weeks, and she had been exhausted ever since the unhappy meeting with her children, but she also knew that it was very obviously due to her own emotions. She had hated to see them all so angry. And once in a while now, she had nightmares about Matthew. He always accused her of something in her dreams, and any psychiatrist probably would have told her she felt guilty. But not enough so to change her feelings. She was more in love with Jack than ever. And the romance had blossomed.
He invited her to the Academy Awards in March. They were early this year, and he was always invited by his more important clients. Amanda hadn't been to them in years, not since she won one herself, and she was excited about going with him. And he ordered a dress for her from Julie's. It was a fabulous white satin Jean-Louis Scherrer with black-beaded shoulders and a small train that lingered elegantly behind her. And when the big night came, and he picked her up, she took his breath away. She looked every inch a queen, and the big star she had once been. It was as though, wi
th him, she had regained what she had once been, and added to it. In the past few months, she had acquired a patina of happiness over her old glamour.
Wow! he said admiringly. The dress hadn't looked half as beautiful when he first saw it On her, it looked exquisite, and it molded every inch of her fabulous figure. Her long blond hair was piled high on her head in soft curls and a French twist. And she was wearing diamond earrings and a diamond bracelet. She looked truly splendid.
You look incredible! he said with a low whisde. Her skin was as creamy pale as the white satin. The photographers are going to go crazy.
I doubt that, she said modestly, and took his arm as they walked out to the waiting limousine. He was carrying her short white mink jacket.
When they stepped out of the car at the Shrine Auditorium, the crowd cheered for her. They recognized her immediately, and shouted her name, and just as he had predicted, a wall of photographers engulfed them. He could feel her hand shake a little as he took it in his own and he smiled down at her. Her husband had kept her away from all this for more than twenty years, and now suddenly she was back, and no longer accustomed to it. There was an elegant, gentle grace about her that made her even more alluring.
Are you all right? he asked, looking at her with concern. She looked a little nervous, but she smiled up at him and nodded.
They made their way through the press, and the crowds in the lobby, and then slowly to their seats in the auditorium, among all the stars that the entire country and world adored and longed for. Several people waved at them, and Jack smiled broadly at a number of his clients. He looked proud and at ease, and completely comfortable to be there.
And then the ceremony began, and as usual, it took forever. The TV cameras panned across them constantly, and they all felt as though they'd been there all year by the time it was over. The award for Best Actor had gone to a new face this year, and the Oscar for Best Actress had gone to an old favorite who had held her prize aloft and gave a whoop of glee while everyone got to their feet and cheered her.
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