by Amanda Black
Lily swallowed a lump in her throat before replying. “Of course I’m your friend, Maggie—if that’s what you’d like.”
“I would. I’d like that very much. I don’t know what it is about you, but I get the feeling that you are a good friend to have.”
Lily wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, but it was her turn to talk, so she tackled the subject that was making her feel the most uncomfortable. “Alright… I have to ask you something.”
“Sure.”
“Is it weird that I’m a big fan of your books?”
“You are?” Maggie chuckled lightly at first, and it grew into a full belly laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry to laugh, but I haven’t so much as giggled in the last few days and it just feels so good.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “Why on earth would that be weird?”
“I don’t know. I guess it always feels a little surreal to me that you even know who I am. I was reading your stuff before I ever moved here.”
“Hey, I’m just a bored housewife who got totally lucky and sold some sleazy daydreams that I put down on paper, and I’m flattered that you enjoy reading them. Why should that be weird? I would have more fun talking about them with you than my mother-in-law, that’s for sure!” Her voice dropped down to another dramatic whisper. “I can just tell that she’s wondering how many of my love scenes I’ve acted out with her son and that always grosses me out.”
“How many?” Lily asked, before clamping a hand over her mouth in embarrassment. She hadn’t meant to ask, it had just slipped out.
Another loud laugh echoed over the phone. “All of them, darling, all of them!” After Maggie had calmed down again, she cleared her throat. “Listen, there was another reason I called. Have you ever done karaoke?”
That was probably the last thing that Lily expected to hear. “Not since college, why?”
“Well, we sort of have this twisted little tradition. Whenever something bad or depressing like this happens to one of us, we hit up the closest bar that does karaoke and make fools of ourselves. Now it just so happens that one of the little dive bars here in town has karaoke on Friday night.”
“Karaoke? That’s your twisted tradition?”
“I know it doesn’t sound like it, but the way we do it, it is. Emma and her husband usually tag along with me and Eric, and once we get a good buzz going we take our turns butchering the most ridiculously outdated stuff. It’s pretty scary, actually, but they will do anything to get my mind off things and make me laugh. I was wondering if I might be able to talk you into joining us.”
“Wow,” Lily replied, more than a bit stunned by how much she really wanted to hang out with Maggie. “Thank you. But are you sure? That sounds an awful lot like private family time to me, especially considering the circumstances.”
“The circumstances are exactly why I’d like to have you there, Lily. I’ve had my mope this week. I’ve cried my tears. Now I want to get drunk, be tone-deaf, and laugh. Something just tells me that having you around would make for a fun night. What do you say?”
“Well, I don’t know.” She had to remind herself that the world wouldn’t spin off its axis if she actually went out and had fun one night.
“Please? It would mean the world to me.”
Lily took a deep breath and a leap into the unknown—it was a feeling she was beginning to recognize and enjoy. “Okay,” she exhaled loudly, shoving her messy hair back off her face. “Okay, yeah. Why not?”
“Really?” Maggie all but squealed. “Oh, that’s great! I think you’ll have a fun time. Now,” her tone changed suddenly, all business, “Wear something kind of sexy-flirty. We make the biggest asses of ourselves and completely overdress for the occasion, and it’s a blast. Karaoke starts around eight, so we’ll be there to pick you up about seven thirty.”
“Wait, you’re picking me up? Why?”
“Never turn down a carpool to a group outing, Lily. It’s much easier to relax and enjoy the ride.”
“Okay,” she sighed with resignation. “Did you want my address?”
“I don’t think so. You’re still living with Mr. Blake, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, that’s right. Wait, how do you know my dad? Or where he lives?”
“Jesus Christ, Lily, it’s Aledo! Everyone knows where your dad lives. Besides, your dad and I go way back.” The evil laugh that followed made Lily decide to ask her to explain that statement at another time, when she wasn’t quite so scared to find out the details.
“Alright, so you’ll pick me up Friday,” Lily steered the conversation away from whatever wicked memories were making Maggie laugh. “Should I look for your car?”
“No, we wouldn’t all fit in that. Just keep an eye out for the most garish, outlandish SUV that you’ve ever seen in your life.”
“Alright, now I’m officially intrigued,” she laughed.
After a few more minutes of small talk, they said their goodbyes and ended the call. As Lily crawled into bed that night she found herself wondering how long it had been since she’d made a new friend.
She honestly couldn’t remember.
* * *
“Why, nurse! I don’t think I’m dirty there.”
“Trust me, Mr. Smith. I’ve seen what you do with this when you think no one is watching. It’s positively filthy!”
Lily gripped the sudsy sponge around her stranger’s engorged flesh, slipping it up and down his length underneath the warm water. She watched as he rolled his head back and forth against the wet tile and groaned loudly, temporarily dropping their playful banter as the pleasure flooded through him.
When his eyes met hers again there was a new fire in them. “Why don’t you join me in here, nurse?” he practically purred.
“Don’t be silly, Mr. Smith. You’re the dirty one here, not me. Besides, that little tub isn’t big enough for both of us to sit in.” Before Lily could say anything else, her unruly patient splashed a large handful of foamy water at her, effectively drenching the front of her scrubs.
“There,” he replied smugly. “Now you’re dirty, too.” The look he gave her was steamier than the water. “I think there’s just enough room for you in here if you sit on my lap.”
Within seconds, navy blue scrubs joined paint-splattered jeans in a heap on the wet floor as Lily eagerly straddled her beautiful stranger and sent a large wave of water splashing over the edge.
Neither of them noticed.
It had been that way all week between them, playful and lighthearted and happy. It was as if something had shifted since their argument, but Ethan couldn’t put his finger on what it was.
He only knew that he wanted her more than any woman he’d ever seen, and he was alarmed that he seemed to need her more and more each day.
He only knew that he didn’t want it to end yet.
* * *
The week flew by, and Friday night arrived faster than Lily expected.
She was brushing through her hair one final time in the bathroom mirror when she was startled by an obnoxiously loud horn honking outside the house. Dropping her brush in the sink, Lily ran downstairs to see what the hell was making that ungodly sound.
When she opened the front door she found two gorgeous women on her porch. Maggie Foster, looking like a voluptuous Playboy model, was poised with her arm in mid-air, ready to knock. Standing next to her, looking like a sleek supermodel, was the waifish woman with the sandy-blonde pixie cut that Maggie had brought with her to her doctor’s appointment a few weeks ago. Behind them, parked at the curb and sounding exactly like an idling semi-truck, was an enormous yellow Hummer H2.
Lily couldn’t help but think that “garish” and “outlandish” had been understatements.
“That’s your idea of sexy-flirty?” Maggie scoffed, bringing Lily’s attention back to her visitors.
Glancing down quickly at her faded jeans and bulky sweater, she couldn’t help but shrug in response. “I don’t know… I don’t have much in the way of flirty. And why are you so early, anyway
? It’s not even seven yet.”
“It’s an ambush, Lily. You remember my sister-in-law Emma, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course. It’s nice to see you again.”
“Same here!” Emma practically chirped with excitement. She was so visibly worked up that she was nearly jumping out of her skin. “Now step aside and show me to your closet.”
“I beg your pardon?” Lily couldn’t understand if it was a joke or if Emma was actually tweaking on something and looking for an excuse to raid her medicine cabinet.
“Maggie thought you might need a little help getting ready since you felt a little weird about hanging out, and I can see that she was right. We came early to get you sorted out.” And with that Emma was gone, blowing past Lily through the door and already making her own way up the stairs toward her bedroom.
Lily was left standing dumbfounded, not quite sure what had just happened, while Maggie patted her shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry, sweetie. It happens to the best of us. Emma is like a force of nature, and it’s best to just stay out of her way. Now let’s go up and see what the hell she’s up to.”
“But what about the guys?” Lily asked, gesturing to the two men in the horrendous SUV. One of them she quickly recognized as Eric, but she was fairly certain that she’d never seen the dark-haired man sitting behind the wheel.
“Believe me, this won’t take long.” Maggie glided right past her through the open door, a bit more gracefully than her speed-freak sidekick, grabbing Lily’s hand along the way. When they reached her bedroom at the top of the stairs, it was to find Emma already rifling through her drawers.
“What the hell?” Lily snapped. “Ever hear of respecting someone’s privacy?”
“I’m sorry about her,” Maggie said from behind her. “Just think of her as your own personal Tim Gunn.”
“Christ, Lily,” the subject in question growled as she slammed another drawer shut, heading to the closet. “Do you own anything other than Flight of the Conchords t-shirts and scrubs?”
“Well, no, not really. I guess I don’t get out much.”
“Don’t you own any skirts?”
“I’m more of a blue jeans kind of girl.”
Lily quickly got over her irritation with the privacy-invader, standing back in awe as she watched her move with lightning speed. She was ripping through the hangers aggressively, clearly a woman on a mission, when suddenly she let out a loud “Aha!” Turning to look at them triumphantly, she held up a hanger high above her head. “No skirts, huh? Just what do you call this?”
Lily’s mouth dropped open when she saw what was in her hand. “Uh, I call that a Halloween costume.” She flashed back to the night five years ago when her roommates had dared her to dress as a slutty cheerleader and groaned. The tiny black skirt dangled on the hanger, somehow mocking her.
“Well it just looks like a mini skirt.”
“No way.” Lily started shaking her head vehemently. “Nooooo way.”
“But knife pleats this cute never go out of style!” Emma marched toward her like a drill sergeant. “Put it on. Now.” When it looked like Lily might possibly cave, she went in for the kill. “Just try it on for now. Let’s see how it looks while I try to find a top that will work with it.” A victorious light flashed in her eyes when her Lily took the bait, feeling like prey. Clearly, Emma had no intention of letting her take it off.
As Lily begrudgingly changed into the skirt, Emma returned to the closet. In the very back, price tags still attached, hung a dark teal silk top with a drooped boat neck and short sleeves that split at the shoulders and dangled loosely at the sides.
“Hallelujah!” Emma cried, grabbing the hanger and turning back to face her audience once again. “Why the hell have you never worn this? It’s adorable.”
“That thing?” Lily groaned. “My mother sent that to me two Christmases ago. She said it was for me to go clubbing in.” She couldn’t stop from rolling her eyes. “I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was nowhere near my style and that there isn’t a club around for about a forty-mile radius. I don’t exactly hit The District in Rock Island every night.”
“Well it’s your style tonight.” Emma nodded sharply. “Put it on. It looks like it’s probably the only form-fitting thing you own. Why do you have so much baggy stuff? Are you afraid of your boobies?”
Maggie chuckled while Lily simply shrugged. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I’ve just never been big on displaying them. I like a guy to look me in my eyes first, I guess.”
“Boobs are the best accessory a woman owns,” Emma explained as she tore off the tags and handed the top to her. “Men are visual creatures. You need something to capture their eyes before they even bother thinking about looking into yours. It doesn’t matter what size they are and they don’t need to be hanging out, it just needs to be clear that you have them.”
Once the outfit was in place and her guests oohed and ahhed over how she looked, Lily was told to sit down at her desk while Emma threw her hair up in a high ponytail. She was informed that it would look best for her to show off her neck and collarbone and there was no time for a haircut. After adding some larger earrings and a bit more eye makeup, they were ready to go.
The entire ordeal took less than twenty minutes.
When they climbed into the ridiculously large vehicle outside, Lily was formally introduced to their escorts for the night. Eric shook her hand, giving her an appreciative once-over before flashing the largest set of dimples she had ever seen in her life.
“So this is the Lily I’ve been hearing so much about,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to thank you at the hospital last week for helping Maggie.”
“No problem, really. It was my pleasure.”
“Well, thanks anyway. I was happy someone was with her.” His smile dimmed slightly as he remembered the day’s events, but he composed himself quickly and gestured to the man behind the wheel. “This right here is my sister Emma’s much better half. Say hello to the lovely lady, Brandon.”
Brandon looked up into the rearview mirror, meeting Lily’s gaze in the reflection. She could tell from the crinkling around his eyes that he was smiling.
“Nice to meet you, Lily.”
“You too,” she nodded. As the bright yellow behemoth rumbled to life and pulled away from the curb, Lily couldn’t resist laughing. “I must say, Brandon, this is some truck.”
“Why thank you, but it’s not mine. It’s actually Emma’s.”
“Really?” Lily laughed louder, looking at the woman in question.
“Mmhmm,” she nodded happily. “It’s my baby! I used to have a little sports car, but there was just no room in it. After a year of driving in Chicago traffic, I opted to go for size rather than speed. Now if someone won’t get out of my way, I just drive over them!”
The group talked easily on the way to the bar and Lily was surprised at how comfortable she already felt with them. They joked and teased each other the way that only people who had known each other for years seemed to be able to do, but they never once made her feel left out. By the time Brandon had managed to find a parking space big enough for their massive school bus, Lily was feeling right at home.
* * *
Two hours later, they were all well on their way to being two beers past tipsy.
Maggie hadn’t been kidding when she said they made complete asses out of themselves. All night long they had been taking turns with the other locals, singing cheesy, rude, borderline offensive songs that had kept Lily laughing so hard that her sides hurt. When Eric and Brandon got up to share the spotlight again and broke into an obviously practiced routine during Hoochie Mama by 2 Live Crew, she had to fight hard not to spit her beer on the table.
Eric would yell a line and Brandon would jump out from behind him and shout the chorus. By the middle of the song, Maggie and Emma had begun booty dancing behind them and Lily had needed to make a beeline for the restroom after laughing so hard she nearly peed her
self.
When that was done, their husbands took their seats and the girls stayed up there to perform a rousing rendition of Shoop by Salt-n-Pepa. Maggie really got into it, circling Eric’s chair as she propositioned him through song, finally sitting on his lap and handing him the mic when it was time for the male solo. Lily realized that they must have done this one a lot, since he didn’t even need to get up and look at the lyrics.
It didn’t stop there; the boys jumped back up and did some Beastie Boys followed immediately by Tenacious D. Lily had no idea if anyone else in the bar even wanted to sing anymore after that; they all sort of sat there hypnotized as the Fosters got more creative.
Another round of beers later, everyone started hounding Lily to get up on stage. She kept waving them off and blushing, but Eric sealed her fate when he yelled, “C’mon, Blake! What are you, a big scaredy cat?”
Throwing back the last of her drink, she glared at him coolly as she walked up and gave her request to the DJ. She hadn’t ever done the song she was thinking of in front of anyone before, but it was one of her favorites by Liz Phair, and she knew that the ridiculous lyrics would make Eric eat his words and prove that she wasn’t too scared to embarrass herself. She looked around the room nervously one last time as the music kicked in, and after taking a deep breath she opened her mouth and gave it her best shot.
When Lily finally finished the song about a woman begging for her man’s semen due to its cosmetic properties, every man in the bar stood up and applauded, some of them even whistling and blowing kisses at her. All four of her companions stared at her with their mouths hanging wide open for a good thirty seconds before screaming and clapping loudly.
“Damn, Blake!” Eric laughed, pounding her on the back when she sat down. “You are fuckin’ made! Far as I’m concerned, you’re an honorary Foster from now on!” Lily simply smiled and fought back another blush, but she was surprised by how much his words affected her. She hadn’t felt that accepted in…well, ever.
It wasn’t until later, when Eric and Brandon were teaching everyone The Humpty Dance, that Maggie finally voiced the question that had been knocking around her mind all night.