With tears in her eyes, she started the bath and filled it with bubbles. She stayed there until the water turned frigid. And still, she didn’t want to move.
Her home phone kept ringing, but she didn’t want to talk. Not to anyone.
She pulled the plug when her teeth started to chatter and watched the water swirl down the drain before climbing out and drying off. Then she put on her comfiest set of sweats and parked her ass on the couch in the dark.
Food didn’t sound good. Alcohol might numb her, but she was already there. She sat there, huddled in on herself, staring at the wall.
The door opened and she closed her eyes, wishing whoever it was away.
Isandro dropped onto the couch beside her. “You haven’t called Metcalf.”
She let out a heavy sigh.
“How long have you been home?”
Marissa shrugged. “What time is it?”
“Shit, what time did you get home, Marissa?”
“Around five.” She shook her head. “Don’t want to talk.”
“Are they pressing charges?”
“No.”
Isandro forced her gaze to his. “Talk to me, or I will go over to Metcalf’s so I can watch Ashton while he talks some sense into you.”
“I shot her, Isandro.”
“You didn’t have a choice. She shot you.”
“Yeah, but shouldn’t I feel guilty?”
“Do you?”
“Don’t feel anything.”
“You’re locked in your head. You need to talk to someone.”
“Yeah, I’ll be in front of a therapist tomorrow.”
“Where’s your phone?” Isandro asked, standing and looking around the room. When she didn’t answer, he walked to her purse and pulled out her cell. He came back. “If you don’t talk to him, he’s coming over here with Ashton. And something tells me you aren’t ready.”
“Will you leave if I call?”
“Marissa?” It was obvious he wanted to say something, but she didn’t want to hear it.
She blinked and tears welled up. “I want to be alone tonight.”
He sighed. “Fine. As soon as I hear his voice on the other end, and you respond, I’ll go. At least until dinner gets there, then I’m dropping off a pizza so you don’t go hungry.”
She leaned against Isandro, and he put his arm around her. “Thanks, Bulldog.”
“Hey, sometimes it’s nice to do something for my big sister. You’ve done so much for me.”
“Thanks, but I’ll be okay. Just need to process.”
“Call him.” He left no room for argument.
She dialed Dave’s number.
He answered immediately. “What happened? How’s your arm? How did the investigation go?”
She answered in a stream of words, “I have four stitches in my arm. The interview was fine. Long, tons of questions, but they let me listen to Chelsea’s call.”
“So why do you sound so off?”
Isandro hopped up and mouthed, Call me if you need me.
She dipped her head and she watched him leave.
Once she was alone, she answered, “I need to sort my head.”
“Want me to come over? I can bring Ashton, or have someone take him tonight.”
“No. The funeral is in a couple days. He needs you.”
“Yeah, but you need me too.”
Maybe, but she didn’t want to deal with anyone. “How about you wait until morning?”
“Don’t shut me out,” he demanded.
“I’m not. Not really. You can come tomorrow morning. But I’m exhausted. I want to sleep like the dead.”
“That’s not funny,” he growled.
“I didn’t mean that.” She let out a sigh. “I feel empty. I want to close my eyes and shut off my brain. Tomorrow I can deal with everything else.”
“Want my arms around you?”
A tear fell down her cheek. “Not tonight. I need to be alone.”
“I’m coming tomorrow, and if you don’t let me in, I’ll get the key from Isandro,” he warned.
She laughed sadly. “I’d expect nothing less. And I know you want to make sure I’m all right, but I’m not ready.”
“Call me if you change your mind. Please.”
“I will. And I’ll be ready tomorrow. Promise.”
“Love you, Marissa.”
“Love you too, Dave. Tell Ashton the same. But I need tonight.”
“Sweet dreams, darling.”
Chapter 34
A door slamming open startled Metcalf awake. He found Ashton standing there, a sad look on his face. “She’s not here?”
“No, but she had a long day. She promised to see us today.”
A hopeful smile appeared. “What if we go surprise her?”
He patted the bed. “Come here. We should talk.”
Ashton took a seat by Metcalf. “About what?”
“Marissa had to do something difficult yesterday. And I don’t want you to be afraid.”
“What did she do?” he asked slowly.
“You know how she’s a cop?”
He nodded.
“Well, a bad woman was going to kill another. They both fired weapons. Marissa killed her.”
“Is Marissa okay?”
“Physically, yeah. Her gunshot won’t leave any permanent damage. But killing someone isn’t easy. The other woman was wrong and would have killed either Marissa or the other person. She didn’t have a choice.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“That kind of thing can mess with your head. Plus, the other police are investigating it, which means they’re going to ask her a thousand questions over and over again. So, let’s try to take her mind off that because she can’t go back to work yet.”
Ashton grabbed his leg. “Why not?”
He patted Ashton’s hand and squeezed. “They have to make sure Marissa didn’t have another choice. And they will, but it takes time.”
He smiled. “So, don’t bring up yesterday?”
“Nope. Best if we don’t. Unless she wants to talk, but I’m betting she won’t want to in front of you.”
“Okay.”
“Hey, it’s just that you’re a kid, and she doesn’t want to scare you.”
He smiled. “I know. And we should get her that mocha thing she likes.”
Metcalf grinned. “Go get dressed. We’ll stop at HoneyLove, then her place before school.”
“Awesome.” Ashton raced out of the room.
* * * *
Marissa sat in her kitchen, staring at the coffee pot. The questions kept running through her head. They wouldn’t stop and she wanted to scream.
Officer Warren dragged a chair over and sat down, staring into her eyes. Marissa felt exposed and paranoid. “How did you know Madison Charles?”
“I met her twelve years ago. She told her son, Carson, to divorce me. She had the papers. I signed them after he did. Then I walked away.”
“Did you hold that against Mrs. Charles?”
She shook her head. “I knew the marriage wouldn’t last. It was so cliché. A drunken Vegas wedding. I never asked for anything from her or Carson. I moved on. That was so long ago.”
Warren nodded. “Did you suspect she put Pete West up to the fires?”
“Not until Officer Cox told me he’d found footage of a blond woman talking to him in front of the van. I knew she would use the information to tear Carson and Chelsea apart if she could, but until I had evidence, I didn’t consider it.”
“Are you happy she’s dead?”
“No, and if she hadn’t pulled a gun and fired the weapon, I would have arrested her.”
“Why did you pull the trigger?”
“She shot at either Chelsea or me—”
“You’re not sure who?” Mission interrupted.
“No. She stepped in front of the door while I was cutting Chelsea free. I moved in front of Chelsea and told Madison to drop the gun. She didn’t. I didn’t shoot until she
lifted hers. The bullet grazed my arm. Either she was a bad shot, or she was aiming for Chelsea.”
“And would you have liked Chelsea to die?”
“No. I didn’t want anyone to die. The fire alarm was already blaring. I could smell smoke, then she shot her gun. I acted on impulse, but I don’t see another way to have removed Chelsea from danger.”
“I believe you,” Warren stated.
“Would you like the hear the recording?” Mission asked.
Marissa sat up straighter. “You’d let me?”
Mission nodded. “Might set your mind at ease. I see the wheels turning. We have to ask the questions, but the recording doesn’t leave room for doubt about why you shot her.”
Part of her wanted to shout at them, but the other felt a massive wave of relief. None of that stopped her from wondering if she could have done something different.
The knock jolted her out of the interrogation. Marissa scrubbed her hands over her face and went to the door on autopilot.
Dave wore a warm, determined smile. “Morning, darling.”
Ashton’s arms wrapped around her and she hugged him back. “Hey, Ashton, Dave. Sorry, I hadn’t really changed yet.” She still wore her sweats and sweatshirt. Her hair was pinned up in a clip.
“We brought a breakfast of champions.” Dave jiggled the bag of pastries.
She stepped out of the way. “Come in.”
Dave gave her a quick kiss. “We’re here as a show of support, that you have whether you like it or not.”
“Oh, I like it.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
Stepping inside, he shut the door and gave her a long look. “You’re worrying me, Marissa.”
She opened her mouth and shut it, walking back to the kitchen. When she looked back, she mouthed, Later.
He gently guided her into a chair and placed a caramel drizzled, chocolate slathered donut in front of her, and a giant butterscotch mocha.
“Oh, you’re too good to me,” she murmured before taking a long, slow drink of the sugary, caffeine goodness. “Thank you.” She winked at Ashton.
There was another knock on the door and Marissa moved to get up, but Metcalf went to the door. “Eat.”
Her eyes narrowed, but she stayed put.
Ashton started in, “We worried about you all night long. I wanted you there when I woke up.”
“I’m sorry, buddy. It…I…” She let out a sigh. “It was a long night at work and I was really tired by the time I got home. I needed to sleep.”
He pouted. “Still missed you.”
“I’m sorry.” She gave him a slight smile, and Metcalf opened the door.
Arianna stood there in a cute dress and smiled Marissa’s way. “Thought maybe I’d take Ashton to school on my way to work. That way you could have a little time with Metcalf.”
“Ooh, does that mean I get a treat?” Ashton asked.
“If your dad says yes.” Arianna winked.
Metcalf chuckled. “She can give you something to take home, but you’re having donuts and hot chocolate for breakfast. So you can wait on chocolate.”
He lifted his hands with a grin. “Fair enough.”
“You ready, kiddo?” Arianna asked.
He hopped up, hugged Marissa, then grabbed his stuff. “Bye. See you tonight.”
Marissa’s heart slammed in her chest. Quiet sounded better.
Not more visitors.
That meant cleaning up, taking a shower, talking about shit she didn’t want to think about. Not that she could shut her brain up.
Arianna waved and shut the door.
Marissa leaned her head against the wall and sighed. “I really want a little quiet,” she murmured.
“We don’t have to talk. But I want to be here in case it gets hard. And it’s going to get hard. You’re going to start thinking about what you could have done differently. Hearing all those damned questions over and over, wondering about why she did it. And you aren’t ever going to have answers that satisfy you.”
“Yeah, already there.” She ran her finger around the lid of the cup. “I’m going to see Dr. Eisman tomorrow. I’m not looking forward to it.”
“Opening up will help. Trust me.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t make this easier. I got through all the bullshit with my family without that stuff. I don’t want it now.”
“Counseling doesn’t make you weak.”
“I know.”
“Doesn’t steal your independence.”
“Yeah.”
He moved beside her and grabbed her chin, forcing her gaze to his. “I’m here with you. I’ll listen to anything and everything. I want to help.”
“I’m not ready. I want to shut my brain off and have peace. I don’t want these questions rattling around my head. The more they asked, the more I started wondering if I did it for me. All because she was my mother-in-law for a month.”
“Twelve years ago. And they have to ask because someone might.”
“Yeah. Maybe now Carson will stop asking about me. That or he’s going to straight up accuse me of murder.”
“Doubtful.” A smirk appeared on his lips. “I heard Carson is fully blaming his mother. And he’s glad she’s gone. Madison wanted you to arrest Chelsea for something she caused.”
She huffed. “Maybe now they’ll both leave me alone.”
Metcalf sighed and nodded to her food. “Eat, we’ll talk after.”
“Sorry. Told you. I want to stop thinking and I can’t. I hate this.”
“Damn it, Marissa. I know this situation is fucked up, but if you’d let me come over last night, I could have taken your mind off everything. I could have helped you push it all away.”
She pushed the chair back and walked back to her room.
He caught her arm halfway down the hall and spun her toward him. “Doubts are normal. After that many questions, they know you’re sitting there shaken up. That’s why they insist on getting everyone in these situations counseling.”
“Yeah, I get it. Look, I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m going to fucking drown in all the questions.”
“You want a distraction? Want to forget for a while?”
She nodded, desperate. Anything to make the questions stop cycling through her head.
“Trust me?”
“With my life,” she answered.
He walked into her and kept going until she was pressed against the wall. His mouth crashed over hers as he caught her wrists, raising them above her head. “Surrender to me,” he whispered.
She blinked, the words a shock, but a welcome one. “Yes,” she breathed.
“Anything?”
Nodding, she relaxed under his grip and stared into his eyes. “Anything.”
His mouth closed over hers, his tongue seeking entrance. She opened as he took both wrists in one hand and dragged his palm down her arm and torso, then up under the sweatshirt. He gripped her breast hard, thumbing her nipple.
“Going to fuck you so thoroughly all you can think about is how good it feels when my dick is inside you.
She moaned, already soaking wet and ready for him.
He sucked behind her ear, bringing a gasp from her lips. “I’ll wipe away every thought. I’ll take you to the bath, wash away any memory that surfaces. And later, if you’re up for it, we’ll pick up Ashton and find some movie to go see. Something that won’t remind you of yesterday.”
“Perfect,” she answered breathlessly. Even the part with Ashton. He designed a day where she wouldn’t have to question herself.
He released her and stepped back, lifting her off the ground and carrying her to the bedroom. After setting her on her feet, he pulled her sweatshirt over her head, dropping it behind him, as he bent to capture one tight peak between his teeth. Dave slipped his hands down her sides and pushed the sweats off before setting her on the bed and kneeling to lick through her dripping folds.
“You want me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Need me?”
“More than you know.”
He flicked his tongue over her clit. “Want you to come. Then I’ll make love to you until you forget your name.”
“Please,” she moaned.
He sucked her clit, and she fell back on her elbows, watching him.
Dave teased her clit with his tongue and pushed two fingers into her. Her walls squeezed as he pumped in and out while licking and sucking at the bundle of nerves.
Pleasure burned through her as he released her from her mind and pushed her into bliss. She came apart, screaming his name.
Her eyes drifted shut while she tried to catch her breath. He banded an arm under her hips and her arms locked around his neck as she found his mouth. Her taste burst across her tongue with his.
“Grip the headboard,” Dave demanded.
Without thought, she did.
He brought her legs up to his shoulders, then slammed so deep she let out a guttural grunt.
“Fuck, yes!”
Every thrust was a powerful stroke that shook her to her core. She felt him all the way up her spine until her hair tingled. Gripping her hips, he lifted her ass and pounded harder as he turned his head and kissed her ankle.
She came so hard she couldn’t see through the stars in her vision. Pleasure erupted everywhere and he kept drilling into her, pushing her further until Dave was the only thing she knew.
He slowed his pace, letting her come down. She got her eyes open as he guided her legs down his sides and leaned over her. Blue eyes burned with emotion. “Love you.”
Every last shred of doubt shattered with the heat of his words. Before she could answer, he thrust his tongue into her mouth as he started to pump into her at a slow, agonizing pace. She was beyond sensitive and craved every last ounce of pleasure he wrung from her.
He came, pushing her over the edge again. Before he could roll off her, she wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him with the last remaining strength.
“Love you, Dave.”
“Never stop loving you,” he answered, pushing his fingers into her hair. This time the kiss was tender, loving, full of everything he felt.
Chapter 35
Seeing Marissa so hopeless nearly shattered Dave. Instead of letting her fall down the rabbit hole he’d slipped into, he focused on blowing every last thought out of her head.
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