Derek waded through the water and climbed up the ladder on the back of the aluminum-framed boat to join me. He took over at the wheel, being the only one of us with a license to operate a motorboat, and drove us out into open water a good six or so miles before we settled at our usual spot. The coast looked small from where we sat and bobbed on the gentle waves lapping at the side of the boat.
Derek and I unfolded the beach chairs he kept on board and set them up to face off the back of the boat. We dragged the cooler over between the chairs, popped it open, and grabbed ourselves a beer. Drinking beer on a day off at seven in the morning was perfectly acceptable on fishing days.
We baited our lines and cast them in.
Neither of us earned a bite when the sun started to warm up the morning around eight o’clock.
I looked around the boat. This bad boy had been Derek’s pride and joy since he and I were placed at Searing’s fire station. He’d bought it at an auction, and at the time, it was nothing but a scrap of metal destined for a junkyard. But Derek brought her back to life. He fixed the damage to her outer shell and polished her up. Once the aluminum was restored and looked basically brand new, he painted a bright red stripe around the hull, just above the waterline, and wrote the name “Ember” on the side. If I didn’t think he had a fascination with fire before he bought the boat, I certainly did afterward.
The boat hosted a few plastic-lined seats at the back that faced inward. Derek had torn out the cushions and reupholstered them with water resistant softer fabric that wicked water off and didn’t make the back of your legs sweat. He’d welded a metal table to the floor of the boat in the middle of the seats and cut out cup holders in its surface to wine and dine women on the ocean in the warm summer evenings. His game was top notch. I’d give him that.
Naturally, the two seats were customized to unfold into a bed. There was a reason I chose not to sit on them.
We’d spent many a weekend out on the ocean fishing together in this thing. It was a tradition of sorts at this point, and even though I’d never much enjoyed the sport, it was nice to come out and relax and get out of town.
“You know,” I said as the sun started reflecting off the surface of the water, “there’s nothing you take more seriously in life than this boat and fishing.”
Derek tipped the rest of his beer into his mouth, crushed the can with one hand, and tossed it into the trash bag beside his chair. “Fishing is my true love. She never gives me shit for coming home late or drinking too many beers.”
Chuckling, I kicked my feet up on the back railing of the boat and sank lower in my lawn chair. “All right. Fair.”
Derek followed suit and assumed the same position as me. He tipped the visor of the ball cap he was wearing down to ward off the glare of the sun as it crept higher in the bright blue sky. Gulls cried as they flew overhead.
At some point, I dozed off, having been lulled to sleep by the gentle lapping of the waves kissing the sides of the hull. The boat rocked side to side and creaked as if to remind us that she was there.
I slept for a half hour or so. Derek never woke me. In our line of work, you didn’t wake a dozing fireman. You let the bastard sleep because there was no way of knowing how much sleep he’d been getting lately—or not getting.
I’d had the last couple of days off, but there was something about being under the warmth of the sun that just made it impossible to keep my eyes open.
When I stirred awake, Derek was reeling in his line and pulling a fish out of the water. Its silver body and black back gave it away immediately as a Blackfin Tuna. Derek put it on ice in the second cooler and closed the lid.
He glanced over at me when he dropped back into his chair. “How was your nap, sleeping beauty?”
“Sorry,” I said, putting my hands on the armrests and pushing myself up a bit straighter. I put my feet flat on the floor again and dragged a hand down my face. “It’s been hard catching up on my sleep lately.”
“Bad dreams?” Derek asked.
I shook my head.
It wasn’t uncommon for guys like Derek and me to be woken up at night in a cold sweat after a nightmare. They always revolved around fires, and they were always about the ones we didn’t get to in time. The people who were lost because we were too late. Training told us there was nothing we could do about those lost souls. We did our jobs well, and we did them right. Sometimes, in the bad cases, that wasn’t enough.
Derek looked back out across the open water. “Good. I haven’t had any in a while either. It’s been nice.”
“Sure has,” I agreed.
By ten o’clock, I’d caught two fish of my own to add to Derek’s cooler of four. He had better luck than me nine times out of ten, which was fine. He was the guy who’d carve my fish up for me, bag them, and freeze them. He had a deep freezer, and I did not. We usually brought the fish to work and grilled them up for all the guys.
“So,” Derek said. “Rinehart tells me we’re going to a school on Friday to hang out with the kids.”
I nodded. “He told me the same thing. I think the whole crew is going, right?”
“Didn’t ask,” Derek said dryly.
I pulled my line in and recast it. “You sound excited.”
“I hate it. It’s a waste of time. And kids are loud, obnoxious little humans with no manners. And their hands are always sticky. Why is that?”
“Uh. Because they’re kids?”
Derek shrugged. “Well, I’m not into it. I’d rather stay back at the station and wash the trucks or something than hang out in a school for four hours.”
I opened the cooler between us and helped myself to another beer. I cracked the tab and took a sip. “I don’t mind it. Don’t you remember being a kid and having the firemen come by? I loved getting in the truck and playing with the horn. It won’t kill you to loosen up a bit and just have fun for four hours.”
“It might.”
“Maybe I’ll sick all the kids on you.”
“I’ll make sure you’re on hose duty for the rest of your life. Don’t fuck with me.”
I laughed and sipped on my beer some more. While I drank and stared out at the blue water and bluer sky, I reminisced about my childhood. About being a young boy with a fascination for fire trucks and police cars. I’d been torn between what path I wanted to follow, and once I hit high school, I stopped yearning for both.
My father encouraged me to join the football team.
I took to it like a natural. I had the build for it with broad shoulders and powerful legs. I was pretty damn fast, and I could take and deliver hits like nobody else on my team. I moved from rookie to MVP within a year, and by my senior year, I had scouts from three universities coming to watch me play.
My father had never been prouder—until I was drafted in the NFL when I was nineteen. I’d played for about five months, made some decent cash, and acquired a loyal fanbase. I was the underdog. I was the youngest guy on the team with a chip on my shoulder because I felt like I had something to prove, and the whole state of Florida related to that. They were behind me.
And then I blew my knee, and all the shit I’d spent my high school career working toward went down the drain in an instant.
And my father never recovered from the blow.
Things between us had never gone back to how they used to be. The bond we had over football crumbled and dissipated, leaving nothing but space and resentment between us.
I still hadn’t been able to make sense of it all to this day.
All I knew was one thing for certain: if I ever became a father, I would never to do my children what my father had done to me.
“What are you thinking about over there, Hayden?”
I glanced over at Derek. He was watching me curiously and knew me too well not to notice when I was lost in thought. I shrugged. “You ever think about settling down one of these days?”
Derek snorted. “Hell no.”
I looked out across the water.
Derek shifted in hi
s chair and said, “It’s just not the life for me, man. I want to fight fires until I’m a big mean badass like Rinehart. And when I’m not fighting fires, I’ll be out on the open water, catching fish and drinking beers. And entertaining different women out here whenever I feel like it. Freedom. That’s all I want.”
I finished my beer and crumpled the can. Derek took it from me and dropped it in the bag of empties we’d been slowly accumulating. “It doesn’t sound half bad,” I said.
“Right? Nobody to answer to but myself. Nobody to please but myself. Why complicate things?”
I sighed. Maybe Derek was right.
But then again, having nobody to please also meant having nobody to come home to at the end of a long day. Forever.
I wasn’t so sure I was cut out for that life.
8
Mel
Kylee was looking out the back window as we drove our usual route through our neighborhood to her school. She was humming a Disney tune of some sort under her breath while playing with the strap of her purple backpack beside her on the back seat.
“Hey, Mommy?”
“Yes?” I met her eyes in the rear-view mirror for a brief moment before turning my attention back to the road, waiting for my turn at the stop sign.
“Did you know there are firemen coming to school tomorrow morning?”
“Really?”
Kylee nodded. “Yep. Ms. Moony says there are a bunch of them coming and we can go in their truck. And ask them questions. And learn about fighting fires.”
“That sounds exciting,” I said.
Kylee agreed that it did indeed sound exciting and then turned her attention back out the window.
It was a bright, sunny day and was especially warm out. I’d been about to leave the house in leggings and a sweater when I checked the weather. I quickly changed into shorts and a T-shirt and had to have the AC on in the SUV.
It was beach weather.
“What are you supposed to be doing in school today, Kylee?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Would you rather go to the beach with me?”
Kylee’s eyes lit up. “The beach?”
I nodded. I took a righthand turn at the stop sign and followed traffic up the street. Kylee’s school was only a couple more blocks away, but this beautiful sunshine couldn’t be wasted. It was a Thursday, so the beach wouldn’t be all that busy, and I knew Tara was off this afternoon. She wouldn’t hesitate to join Kylee and me at the beach if I invited her.
“I could call Auntie Tara and see if she wants to come too.”
“Yay! Beach day! Beach day!”
I laughed. “Okay, good. Let’s turn this vehicle around and go pack up our beach bags.”
Kylee chatted about the beach during the drive home. She wanted to build a sand castle and bring her unicorn floaty. I told her it wouldn’t be a beach day without either of those things.
When we got back home, I parked the SUV in the driveway, and we went inside. I went to the kitchen while Kylee got her bathing suit on and looked for her towel. As I cut up some vegetables, prepared sandwiches, and set aside a couple containers of fruit, I called Tara.
“Yo, what’s up?” Tara answered.
“Kylee is playing hooky from school today, and the two of us are going to hit the beach. I was thinking of going to that private little place we went to at the beginning of the summer. You know, the one with the really old piece of driftwood?”
“Please tell me you’re inviting me,” Tara said.
I laughed. “No. I’m calling you to tell you about the fun things my daughter and I are going to do. You have to stay home.”
“I’ll be right over. What should I bring?”
“I have snacks on the go right now.”
“Let me guess. All healthy snacks?”
Tara could see right through me. “Of course. Fruit, veggies, sandwiches. You good with turkey and cheese?”
“Yes. I’m stopping on my way to pick up some chips and whatever else catches my eye. You’re a freak of nature, you know that Mel? Bringing only healthy shit to the beach like a total psychopath. I wonder why we’re friends sometimes.”
I rolled my eyes. “Just hurry up.”
“So bossy,” Tara said before hanging up.
Kylee came back into the kitchen as I put each sandwich into its own container. She had her bright blue flowery bathing suit on and her favorite flip flops. She beamed at me and asked me to braid her hair for her.
“We have time,” I said, and we went into the living room. I sat on the couch, and she sat with her back to me between my knees as I brushed her hair and put it in a French braid. Her hair was as long as mine, and it was a bit of a handful to take care of. Lucky for me, she was the sort of child who liked to have it off her face, so she only ever wore it down when we had a nice event to go to.
When the braid was done, I tied the end off with a ribbon and patted her shoulders. “All done. I’m going to put my swimsuit on and pack up our sunscreen. Tara should be here in about twenty minutes.”
“Can I watch cartoons until she gets here?”
“Of course.” I smiled.
I heard Kylee turn the television on as I padded down the hall to my bedroom.
I opened the top drawer of my dresser where I kept my lingerie, which I never wore, and my bathing suits. I chose my favorite one: a navy blue one piece with a checkered ribbon that tied up the front. I stripped, pulled on the swimsuit, and threw a knee-length cover up on overtop. Then I packed up my swim bag with a towel to lay on and one to dry off with. I made sure I had plenty of sunscreen because there was no doubt in my mind that Tara would forget hers.
Then I went back down the hall and opened the storage closet, where I pulled out Kylee’s floaty. Once I had two beach bags and our lunch bag packed, I dropped onto the couch beside my daughter.
She smiled up at me. “Thanks, Mommy.”
“For what, kiddo?”
“For taking me to the beach today.”
I hugged her tight and kissed her forehead. “I wanted to spend time with you.”
Tara arrived in a swirl of bright colors. She had on a lime green bikini and had a multicolored sash tied around her hips. Her big sunglasses covered most of her face, and she beamed at Kylee and me. “You ready to go?”
Kylee leapt off the sofa with an excited cry as I flicked off the television. We loaded up my SUV and hit the road, heading down to the beach.
It was a ten-minute walk from the parking lot to the private beach we’d found at the beginning of the summer, and just like last time, Tara complained the whole way. Kylee skipped along up ahead and jumped on the spot, pointing down the path when we found the beach.
Luckily, it was empty just like last time.
We set up our little spot with our towels and chairs and coolers. I pulled my cover-up off and lathered Kylee in sunscreen. She asked to go in the water, but I told her she needed to wait fifteen minutes to let the sunscreen soak in. I was not going to let her get sunburnt. No way.
I tried to convince Tara to put some sunscreen on as I rubbed it into my shoulders, but she lifted her nose up to that. “I won’t tan if I put some on.”
“You also won’t get skin cancer,” I muttered.
“Ugh. Fine.” She held out her hand, and I slapped the bottle of sunscreen into her palm.
When the three of us were all covered up, Kylee set up shop in the sand in front of our setup and began building sand castles.
Tara spread out on her back on her towel as I lay on my stomach beside her, soaking up the rays of the sun and enjoying the warmth on my skin.
“This was spontaneous,” Tara said.
I shrugged. “I know. I was driving Kylee to school, and it was just so beautiful out. I didn’t want to waste the day. And with work being so busy, I feel like Kylee and I haven’t been spending as much time together as I’d like.”
Tara arched an eyebrow and rolled onto her stomach. She shimmied closer to me an
d lowered her voice so that Kylee, who was still humming that same Disney tune she’d been humming in the SUV, couldn’t hear us. “For the record, you spend more time with your daughter than any parent in all of Searing. You’re a spectacular mother, Mel.”
“Thank you.”
“I mean it.”
I smiled. “I know.”
She nudged my shoulder with hers. “How are you doing lately? Like really. Do you miss Evan?”
“Of course I do.” I sighed as I brushed grains of sand off my towel.
“Does Kylee ask about him a lot?”
I frowned and shook my head. “Not really. She was so young, she doesn’t really remember. I expect those questions will start coming soon enough, though. Especially with her being in school now and seeing all the dads there.”
Tara pursed her lips and glanced over her shoulder at Kylee. “Do you think she’s ready for that conversation?”
It was a good question, and one I didn’t really have an answer for. “To be honest with you, I don’t know. I don’t think anyone could be. But when she asks, I’ll tell her.”
Tara gave me a sweet, supportive smile. “Best. Mom. Ever.”
I grinned as I ran my fingers through my hair. My scalp was getting wet with sweat, and I’d want to take a dip in the ocean soon. I’d give Kylee a few more minutes in the sand before we went for a swim, and then we’d come back to the towels and apply more sunscreen.
“Do you think you’ll ever date again, Mel? I’m just curious.” Tara rested her cheek in one hand as she looked over at me.
“I don’t know. I don’t feel like I need a guy to take Evan’s spot. Kylee and I are getting along just fine on our own. Money is good. Life is good. Why mess with a good thing, you know?”
“For sex,” Tara said matter of factly.
I giggled and felt heat rise in my cheeks. “Tara!”
“What? It’s true! You haven’t boned in what, three years?”
“Not true.”
“Oh, sorry. Let me rephrase. You haven’t had sex since that cute guy at that beach party two summers ago.”
I thought back to the blonde surfer who’d been in Searing with his brother to catch some waves. His name was Robbie. He was tall and lean and super sexy, and we’d run into each other at a beach party one night. Tara had convinced me to go out and stayed at my place with Kylee. I’d met him on the dance floor, and one thing led to another.
Light Up The Night: A Bad Boy Firefighter Novel Page 5