“Except when it comes to fighting fires,” Derek countered.
Mav shrugged. “Perhaps you’re right. He does have a tendency to go balls to the wall when there are flames involved. That’s why Rinehart thinks you’re so reckless.”
I took a seat at the kitchen table and tried to ignore them. I didn’t need them analyzing me any more than I needed Rinehart doing it. I couldn’t catch a damn break.
Allen and Trace showed up while the guys were ragging on me and joined in on the fun. I could see that Maddox was enjoying himself, and the kid was just happy that for once, the jokes weren’t at his expense. I knew that wouldn’t last long.
When Mav filled Allen and Trace in on the fact that Derek was going to be the apple of Rinehart’s eye for the next little while, Derek desperately tried to switch topics. The only things that seemed to get everyone’s undivided attention was when he announced, “Hayden had sex with that hot waitress at The Glade.”
All heads turned to me.
“Which one?” Trace asked. “There are a lot of good looking girls in that place.”
“The owner, actually,” I said dryly.
Derek looked pleased with himself. He’d gotten the heat off of his back, and we were back to talking about poor Mel. Allen crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side. “The brunette, right?”
I nodded.
“The single mom,” Derek added.
“You sly dog,” Mav said.
I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Then how was it?” Trace asked.
There was no coming out of this one on top. The hole had already been dug too deep, thanks to Derek. I scratched the back of my neck. “It was a one-time thing that isn’t going to happen again.”
The assholes started booing me. I smiled and rolled my shoulders.
“You were that bad, huh?” Allen teased.
The others snickered.
“I was more than adequate, thank you,” I said.
“Adequate?” Trace laughed. “Poor girl. That must have been a terrible disappointment for her.”
Talking was only going to make things worse, so I shut my mouth and let them all go back and forth making fun of me the whole time. I was a good sport, and I could take the heat. Besides, sometimes we all just needed something to have a good laugh about. And today it was me and my romantic failures.
“What was the sex like?” Trace asked.
“Was she wild?” Allen said.
They all started rattling off questions and inappropriate statements.
“She looks like she’d be a freak in the sheets.”
“Where’d you guys do it?”
“Did she spend the night?”
“I hope you lasted longer than a minute.”
I got to my feet, shaking my head at them. “I’m not playing your stupid games. Like I said, it was a one-time thing. And now, none of us can ever go there again to eat.”
“What?” Maddox asked. “The food there is so good.”
“Yeah. But I don’t want to sit with you assholes. You’ll make her uncomfortable on purpose.”
“No, we won’t,” Derek said. But I could see the glint of mischievousness in his eye.
“I don’t want to subject her to that,” I said.
“By the sounds of things, you already have,” Trace said flatly.
Maddox burst out laughing and slapped his knee. “Good one, man! He got you good, Hayden!”
I turned my gaze on the rookie. “At least the last time I had sex, it wasn’t with an inanimate object.”
Maddox blinked. The guys started laughing.
The rookie turned a bright shade of pink, and I winked at him. It was all in good fun. At least, for the rest of us it was. His time would end when a new rookie replaced him. Or when he did something epic enough to earn him our undivided respect.
For now, he was still our punching bag.
16
Mel
The Glade was incredibly busy for a Monday night. I was forced to put on an apron and start waiting tables to help out my wait staff, who were all running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to manage their tables.
We had several big groups out for family dinners or work functions. The big tables took up a lot of time and energy, but they tipped well, so I made sure they were spread out nicely amongst my staff. I took the tables of couples and small families out on the patio to keep things moving smoothly.
The sun was setting over the ocean, and the sky was striped with hues of purple and pink. The water was calm, and the night was still. No wind pulled sand onto the patio, and people were relaxing under the strung-up lights above. These were the sort of nights I lived for in Searing.
They were soft and romantic. The couples sitting at the outside tables talked fondly to one another. Some held hands, and others played footsie under their tables. Some barely spoke, and for them, it was fine. Others chatted through their entire meal and didn’t stop even when I was there to help them pay their bill.
Young couples flirted and smiled and batted their eyelashes, and older couples reminisced about the old days and how much this stretch of beach had changed.
I found myself aching for something like that again. A partner.
I had Kylee and Tara, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted someone I could sit with for hours and just share an experience with them, even if that experience was as simple as sitting on a restaurant patio. No. Especially if it was sitting on a restaurant patio. I loved the simple things. The simpler the better.
I could easily picture myself sitting outside on a night like this. I’d be dressed up, which I never did anymore. There was a cute little black dress in the back of my closet that I had only worn twice since buying it. I could see myself wearing it, along with a pair of heels and dangly earrings. Across from me would be Hayden.
He’d be smiling, of course, and perhaps laughing at something I said. His laugh was heavenly. We would sip red wine and eat seafood appetizers while talking about all kinds of things. Mostly, I would want to talk about Kylee. And in my fantasy, he would want to talk about the same thing.
After the appetizers, we would drink more wine until the meals arrived. Then we would share off each other’s plates, giggling when we accidentally pushed a messy fork full of something covered in sauce against the other’s cheek.
I shook my head. I was daydreaming in the middle of my shift about a date that came straight out of a romantic comedy. I had to focus. I was better than that.
I brought plates of steaming food over to one of the couples at one of my tables. They smiled up at me and thanked me, and I cranked pepper and parmesan cheese over their pasta.
I wasn’t able to stop myself from asking how long they’d been together. They were just so darn cute. The girl, no older than twenty-two, maybe twenty-three, gave me a sweet smile. “It will be a year next month.”
“Congratulations.” I smiled.
The girl thanked me, and I walked off, wishing I was on her date instead of her. I realized how foolish I was being. I’d been the one to cut myself off from having a relationship. I was the one who’d been turning guys down left, right, and center for the last year and a half.
Except for Hayden.
I’d let him in. It had been so easy to drop my walls and defenses and just be. I wanted to do it again—but I’d told him we couldn’t. And I knew we shouldn’t. Like I’d told Tara, there were other things I needed to focus my time and energy on, and it wasn’t a relationship with a fireman.
Most definitely not.
I sighed as I walked to the back room. I needed a minute to collect my thoughts.
I went straight to my locker and pressed my back against it.
“Mel?”
I looked up to see Tara sitting in one of the corners. I hadn’t even noticed her when I came in. She was reading a book and eating a salad. She must have been on her lunch break.
“Hey. I didn’t see you the
re. Did you just start your break?”
Tara nodded. “About five minutes ago. Do you want to sit?”
“I have tables out there,” I said.
“Come on. Go tell one of the girls to cover you for ten minutes so you can sit with me.”
I bit my bottom lip. “Okay.” I walked back out to the front and caught the first waitress to go by. I asked her to watch my section for me, and she agreed with a sunny smile. Then I walked back to the break room, grabbed a glass of water, and sat down across from Tara. I put my aching feet up on one of the empty chairs.
I wasn’t used to working entire shifts like I was tonight. My feet couldn’t handle it the way they used to.
“So, what’s new?” Tara asked, cramming a bite of lettuce, spinach, walnuts, goat cheese, and strawberries into her mouth.
“Nothing.” I shrugged. “Just the same old. How about you?”
“Eh. Same. You seem down. Is everything okay?”
I shrugged again.
Tara put her fork down and leaned her elbows on the table. When she was finished chewing, she said, “Mel. What’s up? You’re definitely not yourself today.”
I sighed and picked at the edge of the table. Was this something I wanted to admit out loud? At this point, I probably didn’t have a choice. Tara could see right through me, and if she thought something was wrong, she wouldn’t leave it alone until she finally managed to get it out of me. “I can’t stop thinking about Hayden,” I confessed.
“Oh.”
“Yeah. It sucks. And working around all these couples tonight isn’t making me feel any better. I just… I don’t know what I want, you know? I mean, one minute I’m totally fine with being a single mom. More than that. I want to be a single mom. I don’t want to bring some guy into Kylee’s life. It will just complicate how things are now. And things are really good. You know?”
“I get it,” Tara said, nodding slowly. She reached out and grabbed my hand. “But I love you, Mel. And I really think he could be good for you. You’re allowed to want something—or someone. You know that, right?”
There was a lump forming in my throat. I nodded. “I know that.”
“Why don’t you call him?”
“What? No. No way.”
“Why not?”
I shook my head. The lump in my throat was gone as fast as it had appeared. “I think this is just a phase. It will pass. It always does. I like being on my own. It works well for me. I have a good system going with Kylee and the restaurant. Besides, I have you, and that’s all I really need.”
Tara didn’t look convinced, but she knew me well enough to know when it was time to drop a subject. She sighed and picked her fork back up. “When I get back on the floor, you should go pick up Kylee from her friend’s house. I’ll cover your tables for you.”
“See?” I asked.
“What?”
“You’re all I need. I don’t know where I’d be without you, Tara. Really. Kylee and I are both so lucky to have you.”
Tara grinned. “You’re damn right you are. I’m the best thing that ever happened to the two of you.”
I laughed and didn’t disagree. Because she was right.
* * *
I picked Kylee up at her friend Taylor’s house just before seven o’clock. By the time we got home, the sun had long since disappeared, and I knew the clients on my patio would be sitting under the glow of the twinkling lights above, still sipping on their cocktails.
Kylee told me all about what her and Taylor did that day at Taylor’s house. They played with their dolls and made brownies with Taylor’s mom. They played outside and met other neighborhood kids.
“I’m glad you had fun, kiddo,” I said.
“Me too. How was your day, Mommy?”
“My day was good. Tara says hi, by the way.” I parked the SUV in the driveway and got out to let Kylee out of her car seat. “The restaurant was really busy, so the day went by fast. All I could think about all day was how excited I was to see you tonight.” I tickled her in the ribs, and Kylee laughed gleefully. It made me laugh in turn. “Come on, kiddo. Let’s go inside. Do you want some hot cocoa before bed?”
“Yes!”
We went in the front door, kicked off our shoes, and went into the kitchen. We started our night time routine. I ran the bath for Kylee, and she put all her school things away. She unpacked her lunch box and left it tucked aside for me to pack her lunch the next morning. She brought me her planner and showed me the homework she had for the weekend. It wasn’t much, and we would work on it together.
Then she took her clothes off and got in her bath. I sat on the closed toilet lid, and we laughed and splashed together until she was done and the water wasn’t as warm anymore.
I dried her off and braided her hair. She got into her cozy pajamas, and we padded back into the kitchen where I put the kettle on to boil water for hot cocoa. While it heated up, I set out a couple ingredients to make it special: whipped cream, sprinkles, and marshmallows.
Both of us topped our cocoa with everything.
Once our drinks were prepared, we went into the living room and cuddled up on the couch, and Kylee told me all about her day at school.
I wouldn’t have moments like this if I had a boyfriend. At least, if I did have them, they wouldn’t be quite like this. There would always be someone else there. Mother-daughter time would have to be carved out, and I wasn’t sure if that was the right thing for Kylee.
She’d been through a lot over the last few years. Even if she was too young to really understand or know what had happened, there had been trauma in our lives. And bringing in someone new might stir up bad feelings that I didn’t want Kylee to have to deal with. It didn’t seem fair.
It seemed selfish.
There was a good chance that Hayden would be a good match for me. But there was also a good chance that he would bring me nothing but pain. And I’d had enough pain for a lifetime. He was a firefighter. He took risks. I didn’t want that.
I wanted stability. I wanted control.
The only way I could maintain that was if I kept my life the way it was. Kylee and I were fine. We were better than fine. She was happy and so was I.
Wasn’t I?
17
Hayden
It had been a week since Mel and I shared our passionate moment in the kitchen of her restaurant, and she’d been the only thing on my mind since. When my day off rolled around, I decided that it would probably be best if I manned up and went to visit the girl. No harm could come from a little visit.
I knew she wouldn’t be at the restaurant in the morning, so I tried doing whatever I could to pass the time. I went to the gym and worked out harder than I had in a long time.
When I got back home, I had a shower and made myself a massive breakfast. I sat and ate it alone while thinking about Mel.
I knew she’d told me that our night had been a one-time thing. She wasn’t looking for anything more than that. And at the time, I hadn’t been either. But having her on my mind all week had been absolutely maddening. All I wanted was to see her again.
It wasn’t even just for the sex. Sharing a meal with her and talking had been the highlight of my night. She had laughed so easily, and she was great company. All I wanted was to spend a little more time with her. Maybe I’d get lucky enough to find that she’d been thinking about me, too.
After breakfast, I ran some errands. My fridge was completely empty, so I went to the grocery store and restocked it. I ran into some of my father’s old friends while I was there, and they asked me how my knee was doing.
“Never better,” I said, patting the top of my thigh through my jeans. “It was a long time ago.”
The couple, Mr. and Mrs. Dunsmuir, smiled and nodded. Mrs. Dunsmuir patted my shoulder. “It’s nice to see you, Hayden. We’ve been wondering what you were up to.”
Both Mr. and Mrs. Dunsmuir were frequent visitors for dinner at my father’s estate. Clearly, he never spoke of me amongst his fr
iends.
“I work down at the firehouse now,” I said.
“Oh?” she asked.
I nodded. “I’m with search and rescue there.”
“Wow.” She nodded approvingly. “That’s hard work. And much more important than football,” she added under her breath.
I chuckled. “I’m glad to find someone who feels the same way as I do.”
The smile she gave me was sad. Maybe my father did talk about me to her—or at least talked about what he considered as my glory days. “You’re a good kid, Hayden. It was nice seeing you. Have a good day.”
I said goodbye to the couple and finished off my shopping. After getting back home, I stretched out on the sofa and tried to distract myself with some television.
It didn’t work. All I could think about was Mel, and if I wasn’t thinking about her, I was thinking about my father and wondering what sorts of things he said about me to other people. Nothing good, I assumed.
When four thirty rolled around, I was too restless to sit around and wait any longer. I dressed in a pair of dark-wash jeans and a black button-up and then headed out to my truck. The sun was shining as I drove to The Glade. Traffic was nice and easy getting there. Searing was a vacation and retirement town. Nobody was ever in a rush in this place. That was one of the reasons I liked it so much.
I parked behind the restaurant and walked around the side up to the front doors. The patio was almost entirely full. It was full of loud, laughing voices that danced in my ears. I pushed through the front doors and came to the podium, where one of the hostesses smiled at me.
“Are you looking for Mel?” she asked.
I nodded. “How’d you know?”
“I’m good with faces,” she said. “Hold on. I’ll check if she has a moment.”
“Thank you.”
The hostess hurried into the back room, leaving me standing in the entrance with my hands in my pockets. I peered around the restaurant. People were enjoying their meals and conversations. That was all I wanted. And maybe Mel was the right person to have that with.
Light Up The Night: A Bad Boy Firefighter Novel Page 10