Whether he'd given them a more thorough tour or not, there was no way of knowing.
All Zoe knew was that the missing canisters of Trip X weren't anywhere in sight in his private dining room, his bedroom, his enormous private bath or the three suites his wives and their young children occupied.
Jake and Zoe hadn't been allowed into his private office. According to the layout of the factory that she'd studied in the SEALs surveillance trailer, she had to guess there were somewhere between two and four additional rooms in the area they hadn't seen. But a lab? She still didn't think so.
She turned to look at Jake, who was stretched out on his stomach, his arms folded underneath his head. His face was upside down from her perspective. He'd moved close enough to talk softly and still be heard beneath the rather bucolic sound of the nearby waterfall, but only their heads were together. His body and legs were a full one hundred and eighty degrees away from hers. Still, even that way, they were uncomfortably close. Too close.
She laughed. Two miles would've been too close, given the power of her attraction to him.
"What's so funny?" he murmured, his eyes half shut.
"You look tired," she said.
"You do, too."
"I didn't sleep much last night."
The half-lowered lids were only a ruse. His brilliant blue
eyes were as sharp as ever. "Yeah," he finally said. "I know."
' 'May I say something that I feel needs to be said—even at the risk of embarrassing you?"
Jake closed his eyes. "No."
"Jake."
He opened his eyes and sighed as he looked at her. "What's the point?"
"For starters, we're going to be in bed again together tonight," she told him. "Have you thought about that?"
"The thought has crossed my mind one or two million times already today," he said dryly.
"The fact that you had a—"
Jake closed his eyes. "Don't say it."
Zoe rolled onto her stomach, pushing herself onto her elbows, supporting her chin with the palm of her hand. "You know, I probably would've been offended if you hadn't been so turned on. The past few weeks have been extremely intense, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I've got to believe you haven't made love since—"
"No," he said, cutting her off. "You're not wrong."
Since Daisy died. Zoe swallowed, aware that Jake hadn't wanted her even to say Daisy's name. Her heart broke for him. And for herself. "You must miss her so much."
"She was irreplaceable," Jake said quietly.
Zoe had known that. She just hadn't thought it would sting quite so much hearing Jake speak the words aloud.
"You know I find you very attractive," Jake said. He laughed. ' 'And if you didn't know that, well, after last night you certainly knew it, huh?"
"I knew," Zoe said. "Before last night."
"Forget about the part where I'm old enough to be your father, okay?"
"I have."
Jake laughed. "Yeah, well, I haven't. But let's pretend for the sake of argument that I have. This thing between us, babe, it's still going nowhere fast. I can't get past the
fact that Daisy's still the woman I love. I just don't see myself—" He broke off, unable to continue.
Zoe nodded, gazing at the waterfall, trying to convince herself that the tears in her eyes were the result of the too-bright sun. She couldn't look at him. But she had to ask. "And those times when you really kissed me?"
He was silent for several long moments. "Contrary to what you believe, I don't always do the right thing."
She did turn to look at him then.
He smiled crookedly, tiredly. "I know you see me as that all-powerful hero from Scooter's book, but honey, in truth, I'm just a man. Lead me not into temptation and all that. Sometimes temptation is just a little too tempting, and then I make mistakes. And sometimes I just make mistakes—completely on my own. No help from any outside force. I don't want you—but I want you. Sometimes the part of me that wants you shouts down the other part."
Zoe studied his face. Jake. The man. He was right, in a way. For years he had been her hero. Invincible. Intrepid. Noble. Immortal. Yet beneath all that, he was just a man.
A very good man.
"So are you just planning to be celibate for the rest of your life?" she asked.
Her question caught him off guard. "I don't know," he said honestly.
"Well," Zoe said carefully. "When you do know, if the answer to that question is no, I hope you'll come and find me."
Jake put his head down on his arms and laughed. But when he lifted his head, propping himself up on his elbows the way she was, his eyes were filled with a curious mix of both sadness and heat. "See, now, like, right now is one of those times I really struggle with, because right now I have this completely overpowering urge to kiss you."
Zoe wanted to touch his beautiful face, to push back that unruly lock of hair that fell down over his forehead. But she didn't.
"You have to tell me the best way I can be your friend, Jake," she said. "Do I move closer when you say that to me? Or should I back away?"
He was close enough to kiss her, and his eyes dropped to her mouth before he looked into her eyes. "Are you strong enough to back away?"
Was she? "Right now, yes. Tomorrow? I don't know."
"Then back away," he breathed. "Please."
Zoe didn't move. "Tell me about Daisy."
Jake blinked. And laughed. And backed away himself. "Well," he said. "She was absolutely nothing like you."
Zoe quickly looked away, but apparently not quickly enough.
"Whoa," Jake said, catching her hand. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I mean, I meant it in a good way. You're so strong, so certain. You're a scientist, and Daisy..." He laughed. "She didn't have a lot of use for science or math."
Zoe gently pulled her hand free. Backing away. "She was an artist, right?"
"Yeah, mostly a painter, both oils and watercolor, although she did go through a charcoal phase, too. She was..." He forced a smile. "Pretty amazingly brilliant." He was quiet for a moment. "She never came out and said it, but she hated what I did—what I do—for a living. And when Billy decided he wanted to be a SEAL, too..." He shook his head. "She didn't like to talk about it. She just locked herself in her studio and painted." He rolled over onto his back and stared at the sky. "I think I managed to make her incredibly unhappy at times, but she loved me enough to pretend it was all right. And I loved her too much even to consider that she might be happier without me. And yet, you know, in our own way, we did okay. We had so much more than most couples I've known."
He turned his head and looked at her. "Okay, Lange. Your turn. 'Fess up. Who's this Peter?"
Zoe tried to smile, but she couldn't. "No one," she said
quietly. "He was nothing. Not compared to what you had with Daisy."
"It's not fair to make comparisons."
"Yeah," Zoe said. "It is. You talk about love in a way that I can't even comprehend." She took a deep breath. "You know, Jake, last night was the first time in my life I've ever slept all night in the same bed with a man."
He tried to hide his incredulousness and failed, sitting up to look at her. "Really?"
Zoe nodded and sat up, too, unable to meet his eyes. "I've had relationships—obviously—but it's always been, 'Well, gee, that was fun. See you in the morning.'" She braced herself and looked at him. "I've never lived with anybody. I've never gotten that close. I've never even wanted anyone to stay the night."
Jake had known a love the likes of which most people only dreamed. And she... She wasn't even one of the dreamers. She hadn't even dared to do that.
Jake sighed. His face was so serious without his usual hint of a smile lurking around his mouth. "This must be very hard for you. I'm so sorry. I've been thinking only of myself—"
"Look, it's no big deal. I just wish—" She broke off, unable to say it.
He touched her again, his fingers warm against the back of her hand. "Wh
at?"
She wanted to know what it would be like to sleep in Jake's arms, all night long, with his warmth and strength wrapped around her. But there was no way she could tell him that. Not after promising him she'd back away. She shook her head. "I wish a lot of things that are definitely better for you not to know."
Jake laughed as he stretched out on his back again, arms above his head.
He was silent for such a long time, Zoe turned to see if perhaps he'd fallen asleep.
But he was staring at the nearly painful blueness of the
Montana sky. He met her gaze, though, as if he'd caught her movement out of the corner of his eyes, and he smiled.
It was a smile that echoed everything she was feeling. Longing. Sadness. The knowledge that the price they'd both pay for the sweetness of a temporary joining was a high one.
Too high for Jake.
Chapter 12
Oh, yes," Lucky O'Donlon said from his seat at the video monitors. "There is a god. Zoe's getting ready for bed."
On the other side of the trailer, Bobby and Wes didn't even glance up.
"Hey, Ren and Stimpy, didn't you hear what I said? Zoe. Moments. From being. Au naturel."
"Don't hold your breath," Wes said. "You're Lucky, but not that lucky. She knows exactly where the cameras are."
Sure enough, Zoe stood in the one place in the room where she had her back to all three cameras. And she undressed in segments, taking off her shirt and slipping on her nightgown while she still had on her jeans. She pulled both her jeans and her bra out from under the gown.
It was very disappointing.
On the other hand, the nightgown was black and short
and very, very sexy. It highlighted her exceedingly generous upper body in a most pleasing way.j.
"Oh, man," Lucky murmured. "Imagine coming back to your quarters and finding that waiting for you."
Wes finally came to look over his shoulder. "Youch! Way to dress for bed, Dr. Lange!"
"Show a little respect," Bobby rumbled.
"I only said youch," Wes complained.
"Next time, say it with more respect." But even while Bobby said the words, he pulled his chair closer to the video screens.
"Who was on duty last night?" Wes asked.
"I was," Bobby said.
"Am I correct in assuming that she put that on last night, and you didn't tell me?"
"It didn't seem to warrant a phone call to the other trailer," Bob said. "So, no, Skelly. I didn't. Besides, I happen to respect Zoe, so...I didn't."
"That is one beautiful woman." Lucky glanced at Bobby. "And I say that with the utmost respect."
"So where's the admiral?" Wes asked. "He is a seriously dedicated team leader if he opted for a sneak and peek instead of playing honeymoon for the cameras with a babe in a black negligee. Sheesh, can you imagine having to do that? For Uncle Sam, Mom and apple pie, yes, I will suffer and kiss the beautiful blonde. What kind of training do you think I should go for next, so that I'll be given this kind of assignment?"
"Yeah," Lucky said. "Talk about a silver bullet..."
"I think it must be very difficult," Bobby said. "For both of them. He cares a great deal for her. And Zoe..." He sighed. "She's falling in love with Jake."
Lucky and Wes both turned to look at him.
"You're nuts," Wes said. "He's way too old for her."
"She can't fall in love with him," Lucky said, turning to watch her on the screen. She was lying on the bed, on her stomach, as she read a book. "She's supposed to fall in love with me. Beautiful women always fall in love with me."
Wes shook his head. "You think you're kidding, but it's true. You're a babe magnet. When Zoe first walked into that meeting at the Pentagon, I cursed you out, Lieutenant, sir, because it seemed inevitable she would take one look at you and not even talk to the rest of us."
"As soon as this assignment's over," Lucky said with a sigh as he watched Zoe on the screen, "she's mine." He smiled. "Hey, it might be fun to actually have to chase a woman for a change."
"It's not going to happen," Bobby said. "She's got a jones for Jake."
"Since when are you on a first-name basis with an admiral?" Wes asked.
The enormous SEAL shrugged. "Since I found a copy of that book Zoe was talking about. It was in the library. Jake's pretty amazing. The things he did with explosives... The man's an artist. You should read it."
"Yeah," Wes said. "Right. Read. Maybe in my next lifetime. So where exactly is Admiral Amazing?"
Bobby took over the command keyboard and started to type, and on one of the screens a rapid-fire sequence of empty corridors began to appear.
"He just had a private meeting with Christopher Vincent," Lucky reported. "He endured the slimeball's company for more than two hours just to get a chance to ask him about this bogus birthday celebration. And when he finally did get down to business, Vincent tells him he's got to pledge all he's got to the CRO if he wants to be privy to CRO secrets. The admiral says, great. I'm ready to do that. Right now. Let's go. But Vincent says no. Not till after the honeymoon, essentially ordering the admiral to go back to his quarters and get busy with his new wife for the next three days."
"Perfect," Wes said, scoffing. "Zoe goes to all this trouble to get inside the compound, thinking it'll speed up the search, but what it really does is slow things down." ._ "Got him," Bobby said.
On screen, the admiral was heading down the corridor that led to his room. His pace slowed as he approached the door, and he paused for a moment outside, just staring at the knob.
"Oh, man," Lucky said. "I'd be knocking the door down, I'd be in such a hurry to get inside that room."
On the two screens that still showed two different angles inside the room, Zoe put down her book and looked toward the door.
It didn't open, and she slowly sat and then stood up, staring at it.
Outside the room, the admiral took a deep breath and finally reached for the doorknob.
Bobby keyed in the third of the bedroom cameras, and from the new angle, as the door opened, Lucky could see the man's face.
On screen, Zoe visibly relaxed. "I didn't realize it was you. I heard footsteps stop right outside the door and..."
The admiral turned to close and lock the door behind him. "Sorry I took so long. Chris can really keep a conversation going. I was a little afraid you might've gone out looking for me."
"Why would I do that?" she asked. "I knew where you were. Besides, you told me I had to stay here."
He turned to look at her, smiling slightly. "I guess I just—"
That was when he noticed what she was wearing.
"Boing!" Wes said. "Hel-lo, Mrs. Robinson. How are you this evening, dear?"
Lucky didn't know how he did it, but the admiral managed to keep his tongue securely in his mouth as he gazed at Zoe and her incredible nightgown.
The tension in the room was palpable, though. It carried through the airwaves all the miles across the valley, through the receiver, through the wires that led to the video monitors in the trailer.
Zoe spoke so softly, Lucky had to turn the volume up.
' 'I was just... reading. I was tired so I... got ready for bed a little while ago and..."
"Are you going to be..." The admiral cleared his throat. "Warm enough in that?"
"I don't have anything else."
"No flannel pajamas?"
Zoe laughed, a nervous burst that she tried to squelch. "It's pretty warm in here."
Well, that was the understatement of the year. Lucky could practically feel the heat rising from the screens.
Jake took his wallet and a set of keys from his pockets and put them on top of the long, low dresser. "You know if you're tired, and I'm not here, you don't have to wait up for me."
"The idea of waiting up for you isn't a particularly appealing one," Zoe said. "Is it going to happen frequently?"
"Well, you know, I hope not—" Jake moved toward her "—but if evening is the o
nly time Christopher can schedule to meet with me—"
She moved out of his reach. "What's the deal with this place, Jake? When am I going to be able to leave this room?" She lifted her chin, made her voice louder, sharper. "What exactly do people do here for fun? Someone told me today that CRO women aren't allowed to go into Mel's. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I want my old job back, but I'd like a chance to go grab a beer if I want to. And if I'm not allowed to do that, when am I supposed to get a chance to kick back?"
"She's picking a fight," Bobby said. "Way to go, Zoe."
"And is it true what I've heard?" she added. "That in three days I'm supposed to join some sort of chain-gang work detail and clean all day long?"
The admiral gave her one of his let's-keep-this-in-perspective smiles. "I'm sure it's not all day lo—"
"While you do what? Stand around and be good-looking?"
Jake laughed aloud, and Zoe's expression got even more fierce.
"You think this is funny?" she said. "Then you go clean. I'll sit around with the guys."
"I'm sure I'll get to do my share of the cleaning. It's just they've found this place runs a little better if the women are organized in teams and—"
"So it is true," she said.
"It's just the nature of the commune, babe. Everybody's got to chip in."
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear what it is you're going to be doing? Sitting around burping all day with the rest of the men?"
Wes laughed out loud.
"And what about those three princesses and their ugly little babies?" Zoe continued. "They got served at dinner just like the men."
"Those are Christopher's wives and kids. You know, he's a little eccentric, he's got—"
"Three wives. I know. I saw their rooms. They don't have peeling paneling on their walls."
Jake reached for her again, pulling her into his arms. But she stood there stiffly, angrily. He kissed her shoulder, her neck, but she didn't move. She just stood there, straight as a rod. He tried to kiss her lips, but she moved her head and his mouth glanced off her ear.
"I'm really tired," she said tightly, pulling free from him. "I'm going to sleep."
"Oh," Lucky said, making a face. "The freeze-out. The temperature in the room just dropped to a frightening fifteen below."
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