It wouldn't have taken much for that friendly comfort he'd given Becca to turn into comfort of an entirely different kind. If he'd walked her home and she'd invited him in, he would've kissed her sweet mouth. And if he had kissed her...
He focused on the job at hand, attempting to banish the too-vivid thoughts of just where kissing Becca might've led. He couldn't let himself think that way. It wouldn't be fair to her. It wouldn't be right.
Mish couldn't tell her the truth, although, Lord, there were times when he longed to confide in her. But he couldn't. Just the thought of it filled him with an overpowering sense of unease. Somehow he knew he wasn't supposed to talk about any of this—why he was here. He couldn't risk revealing too much, couldn't give anything away. Why? He didn't remember. But the need for secrecy had obviously been ingrained in him. He couldn't tell her.
And he'd already deceived Becca once—by convincing her he was capable of this job as a ranch hand, during that phone interview he couldn't remember. There was no way he was going to deceive her again by becoming phys ically intimate with her. At least not until he knew for sure exactly who he was. And maybe not even after that.
This was not a woman who'd want to have anything to do with a criminal. And he was probably an ex-con at best, if his dreams of handcuffs and prison walls were based on any kind of truth.
Although, when she looked at him the way she'd been looking at him just a few seconds ago, it was easy to imagine his resolve to keep his distance flying right out the window. It was easy to imagine her melting willingly in his arms as he pulled her down with him, right here on the sweet-smelling, fresh hay he'd just spread on the floor of the stall and...
Lord have mercy. Yes, it had been far, far too long since he'd been intimate with a woman.
But Becca wanted him to be a hero, so he was going to do just that—by not letting himself get too close to her.
She looked down at the check she still held in her hands, her cheeks still slightly pink, as if she'd been able to follow his wayward thoughts. "I just can't imagine why you would want to work for slave wages, with somebody willing and ready to hand you this much money."
Mish shrugged as he set the shovel down. “Money's not everything." He picked up the handles of the nearly full wheelbarrow and pushed it out of the stall. He passed closely enough to Becca to catch a whiff of the same fresh perfume he'd breathed in last night when he'd wrapped her in his arms. Lord, but she smelled good. He moved away from her quickly, leaning closer to the overpowering contents of his wheelbarrow to exorcise her scent as he headed toward the back entrance of the barn.
"It may not be everything, but it's damn close," Becca countered, following him out. "If 7 had this kind of money—" She broke off. "Mish, please, you should at least think about accepting this check. This could be the break you need."
He squinted against the bright morning sunshine as he pushed his pungent load out to a manure pile well back from the barn, his side smarting with every step he took. "Your giving me this job was the break I need," he said. "Of course, that assumes I need a break in the first place."
"You walked in here with one change of clothes under your arm, no wallet and no ID," she pointed out. "You accepted a job at an embarrassingly low hourly rate. This isn't the movies. I've pretty much rejected the idea that you're some kind of eccentric millionaire in disguise."
He glanced back at her. "Yeah? What if I am?"
Becca laughed, her eyes sparkling with amusement. She really had beautiful eyes. "If you are, why the heck are we having this conversation while you lug a load of manure in this heat? Let's call for a break and reconvene for dinner at your favorite restaurant in Paris. Because as long as you can afford it, I've always wanted to fly on the Concorde."
She was teasing, but there was some truth in her words. She wanted to have dinner with him. He could see it in her eyes. Mish dumped the wheelbarrow, feeling glad— and very stupid. He didn't want her to like him. He couldn't want her to like him. Yet he was happy that she did. "Sorry, I seem to have misplaced my bankcard."
"Aha," she said with another smile. "Proof that even if you are a millionaire in disguise, you need a break."
She had such a beautiful smile, it was impossible not to smile back at her. And as he did, Mish felt himself start to slip.
She more than merely liked him. He may not have been able to remember his own name, but he knew how to read a woman. And this woman was Interested, with a capital /. If he pulled her into his arms and lowered his head, she would lift her mouth to meet his. And while getting it on with her on the floor of the barn in the middle of the day was stretching the edges of the fantasy envelope, the idea of spending the night in her bed in the very near future was not so far-fetched.
But she wanted a hero, he reminded himself. So instead of moving closer, Mish took a step back.
"I do need a break," he told her, willing her not to move any closer. "And the fact that you're letting me stay despite knowing that I lied to you is—”
"But you didn't/' she told him, moving closer despite his attempt to control her through telekinesis. She moved close enough for him to see the individual freckles that swept across her nose and cheeks. Close enough to see the flecks of green and gold mixed in with the darker brown of her eyes. "Not really. I looked in your personnel file, at the notes I made when we spoke on the phone. You definitely omitted some information, but I didn't ask, so it wasn't a lie. You told me you were mainly a handyman and that you'd worked on ranches before. I made the mistake of assuming you'd be able to handle the horses, too."
Personnel file. There was a personnel file with his name on it, somewhere in Becca's office. It was entirely possible that file would contain his last known address and phone number. He had to have some clothes, some belongings some where, didn't he? If he could find those, he might start to remember who and what he was.
"I wasn't completely honest with you, either," Becca continued. "I didn't mention the fact that your starting salary isn't going to increase any time in the near future. The owner of the Lazy Eight doesn't believe in raises."
"The money you're paying me is good enough for now." Mish pushed the wheelbarrow back toward the barn. He was far from done with the stalls, yet it was nearly time for lunch. He was simply going to have to grit his teeth against the pain and pick up his pace.
Becca's pager went off and she looked down at it, turning it off. "Shoot, I've got to go take this call." She started toward the office, walking backwards. "What do you say you let me treat you to a drink after dinner tonight? As a sort of a thank-you? There's a roadhouse about twelve miles down the road—it's not too far away. They have a really great band on Thursday nights."
She'd asked him out.
Mish had thought he was safe as long as he kept his distance and didn't do something crazy like invite her to have dinner or a drink with him. But he should've known that Rebecca Keyes wasn't the kind of woman who'd sit back and wait for something she wanted.
"Um," he said, but she didn't give him a chance to figure out how he could turn her down without hurting her feelings.
"I've got to run," she told him with another of those killer smiles that made his insides tangle. "I'll talk to you later."
And she was gone, leaving Mish with an entirely new set of what-if questions.
What if he let himself go out with her? She only wanted to have a drink. It wasn't as if she'd invited him over to her place to spend the night, was it?
So what if he went? He'd have a chance to sit across the table from her in some dimly lit bar. He'd have a chance to gaze into her eyes as they talked.
As she asked him questions about himself.
Where he came from. Where he'd worked before this.
Questions about his family. His childhood. His hobbies. Former girlfriends. Present girlfriends.
Lord God, what if he was married? What if he had a wife and children somewhere, but he simply couldn't remember them?
Of course, it was e
ntirely likely that if he had been married, his wife had left him while he was in prison.
Mish shook his head as he began shoveling out the next stall in the barn, almost welcoming the punishing pain in his side.
Yeah, he was one hell of a hero.
Chapter 5
Mish cleared his throat. "Excuse me. Is Becca here?"
Hazel, the gray-haired woman who worked part-time in the Lazy Eight's office, looked up from her computer and smiled at him. "Oh, hi, Casey. Yeah, she's in the back. You want me to call her for you?"
"No," he said. Somewhere in this office was a personnel file with his name on it. Was it in the file cabinet underneath the far window, or the one next to the computer? "Thanks, but if she's busy, it's not necessary."
"She's not busy. Becca!" Hazel called, then turned back to Mish. "A package came for you today," she told him.
That drew his attention away from the file cabinets. A package. For him?
"It says Hold For Arrival," she continued, pushing her chair back and pulling herself to her feet, "but since you arrived early, I can just give it to you now, can't I?"
Hazel pulled a small brown padded mailing envelope from a set of mail cubbyholes and slid it across the counter to Mish.
A package.
There didn't feel as if there could be much inside as he picked it up and turned it over. There was no return address, not even on the back. "Casey Parker" and the address at the ranch was written in a large, faintly childish hand. The handwriting—messy block letters—was completely unfamiliar to Mish. But then again, just a few days ago, his own face had been unfamiliar.
The post-office cancellation stamp on the package read "Las Cruces." That was the closest large town to Wyatt City, where he'd woken up in a homeless shelter. Coincidental? Maybe.
Maybe not.
"Hey, Mish, hi. Did you get mail?" Becca came out from the back, her eyes and smile warm, clearly glad to see him.
"Yeah, I, uh, did." Mish nodded to Hazel. "Thank you."
"Anything good?" Becca leaned over the counter, smiling up at him.
"Nah." He shrugged as he tucked the package under his arm. "Just, you know, tax information from my accountant—about my stock portfolio."
She laughed. "Oh, of course."
Mish's heart rate had accelerated at the thought of what he might find inside that innocuous brown envelope, but he'd wait for the semi-privacy of the bunkhouse to open it. He couldn't imagine what might be in there that he'd need to keep private, but then again, he hadn't suspected he'd find a huge wad of money and a .22-caliber handgun in his boot, either.
"It's going to be slow around here tonight," Becca told him, her chin in her hands, her eyes warm as she looked up at him. "If you'd like, we could leave as early as six, grab some dinner while we're out...?"
At least he'd thought it was the package that had made his pulse kick into double time. But maybe it had been the sight of Becca's smile.
It would be so easy to tell her yes. It was what he wanted to do, and it would keep him from disappointing and possibly even embarrassing her. Rejection was never fun, even when it was done as gently as possible, with the best of intentions.
He glanced over at Hazel who was working on the computer again.
"Actually..." He lowered his voice, and Becca leaned closer to hear what he had to say, close enough for him to catch a whiff of her subtle, sweet scent. But it wasn't perfume, he realized. That was her hair he could smell— her shampoo. And that made so much more sense than perfume. Becca didn't seem like the type of woman who would get dressed in worn-out jeans and a T-shirt, apply only sunblock to her face, and then spritz herself with designer perfume for a hard, hot day of work on a ranch.
"Actually what?" Her voice was husky, and he realized he'd been staring at her for many long seconds, just breathing in her sweetness.
Their two heads were close together. Almost close enough to kiss. Thank heavens the counter was between them or he might well have pulled her into his arms, both Hazel and his good intentions be damned.
Even if he hadn't already completely lost his train of thought, he would have done so as Becca's gaze dropped to his mouth. She quickly jerked her gaze back up, but she'd given herself away. Her body language may have been inadvertent, but it was unmistakable. She wanted him to kiss her.
And he wanted...
He wanted to bury himself in the serenity of her beautiful eyes. He wanted to hide from whomever and whatever he'd been in his probably lurid past. He wanted...
"It's funny, isn't it?" she said softly. "When an attraction is as strong as this." She laughed in disbelief. "I mean, where did it come from? Why does it feel so right ? Mike Harris—he was a cowboy who worked here up until a few weeks ago—he asked me out maybe five different times. He was good-looking, too, like you, but..." She shook her head. "We had a lot in common, but there was no chemistry. I thought it was the bad timing—I was trying to figure out whether to keep working here or to start sending out resumes, but that hasn't changed. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my life. The timing's still lousy. And yet..." She forced a nervous smile, as clearly as shaken by his proximity as he was by hers. "Here I am, asking you to dinner. Go figure, huh?"
Mish found his voice. "The timing's bad for me, too, Becca. Really bad."
Becca glanced at Hazel, who seemed completely absorbed by the information on her computer screen. "I have four million things I need to take care of before I'm done for the evening. What do you say we pick up this conversation in a few hours and—”
Mish forced himself to straighten up, to back away. "I think it would be better if I just stayed here at the ranch tonight."
He looked down at the floor so he wouldn't have to see her face. She straightened up, too.
"Oh," she said quietly. "The timing's that bad, huh?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry." He truly was. He knew it was time for him to take his sorry ass and make a quick exit, but instead, he made the mistake of looking up. And when he saw the mixture of embarrassment, disappointment and chagrin in Becca's eyes, he couldn't seem to make himself go anywhere. Instead he opened his mouth again. "I'm also... I could really stand to get to sleep early tonight," he told her. "I got a little banged up in the river and..."
Wrong. That was the dead wrong thing to say, and he knew it as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Someone like Becca wouldn't respond to news that he'd been hurt by casually waving and saying "Oh, too bad. Hope you feel better—see you in the morning."
"It's nothing, really," he added hastily. "Just, you know, a cracked rib."
"Just?" Becca looked at him as if he'd just announced his intention to cross the Pacific Ocean in a leaky canoe. "Oh, my God, Mish, why didn't you tell me last night you were hurt? You didn't say anything at all!"
"I'm fine," he said, silently cursing himself even while a completely twisted part of him enjoyed her wide-eyed concern. "A piece of wood—nothing big—hit me while I was in the water. Like I said, it's only a—"
"Cracked rib," she finished for him, her gracefully shaped lips tight with disbelief. "I know what a cracked rib feels like, my friend, and I'm sorry, it's not an only." She opened the hinged part of the counter that allowed access to both the front and the back of the room with a bang. "Get in the truck, I'm taking you to the hospital."
"No!" He couldn't go to the hospital. If one of the doctors or nurses looked a little too closely at the healing wound on his head...
She looked surprised at his vehemence—even Hazel glanced up. Mish forced himself to smile. "You know that all they'll do is wrap it, and I've already done that." Let's be grown-ups about this, he told her with his tone.
But Becca was upset. "How do you know it's not broken? I've heard of people with broken ribs actually puncturing their lungs—”
"It's not broken." Mish raised his voice to speak over her. "I know it's not broken because I've had medical training."
He was as surprised by his words as she was. Medical trai
ning. He hadn't been thinking, and the words had just spilled out. Dear Lord, was it possible he really was a doctor? Or was he just an accomplished liar?
Whichever it was, he'd managed to distract her from her mission of getting him into the truck and to the hospital.
"Look, I'm just a little bruised," he told her, pushing for a win while he was ahead. "Nothing a good night's sleep won't go a long way toward healing."
Becca still didn't look convinced. "I wish you'd told me about it last night."
"I should have," he agreed. "You're right. I just... I knew it wasn't that big a deal. You had enough to think about, and..." He had to put his hands in the back pockets of his jeans to keep himself from reaching out to touch her reassuringly. "Don't make me go to the hospital, Bee. I'm too tired to handle their red tape and...and to sit in the waiting room for hours, and..." He shook his head. "Come on. Please?"
She exhaled a burst of air, as if giving in to a tough decision. "Let me see it."
He blinked at her in surprise. "Let you...?"
"You heard me," she said brusquely, motioning toward the open counter and the door behind it. "Step into the back room if you're modest. Do it right here if you're not. Take off your shirt and let me see."
She wasn't kidding.
"It looks worse than it is," he told her. "It's pretty badly bruised—doing the ugly rainbow thing, you know. Yellow and green and purple?"
"Now it's badly bruised? I thought it was just a 'little' bruise."
"Well, yeah, it is. I meant compared to other bruises I've had. You know. I mean, I've had worse." Lord help him, he was babbling.
Becca crossed her arms. "Then what's the big deal, Parker?"
The big deal was that he'd managed to wrestle his T-shirt on this morning, but taking it off—especially now, after he'd tightened up a whole lot during the day—was going to be next to impossible. Or screamingly painful. Or both.
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