“Flash.”
He hated that she didn’t even know his name.
“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I am grateful to you for uncovering what Tandy is doing. I’m angry with her, but I can keep it together if you’re willing to help me dig deeper to see if she’s doing more for my father than we saw tonight.”
He squeezed her hand and gave her the truth. “I’m here to find out exactly what she’s doing with your father and put a stop to it. I want to free you from her, him, the life they lead infecting your life.” He pulled into the drive, cut the engine, and faced her. “I want you to be happy, Cara.” He gave her hand one last squeeze, then did the one thing he didn’t want to do and let her go. He scurried out of the truck and closed the door before she even opened hers and got out. He was three-quarters the way around the truck, her gaze locked on him, before she opened the door.
“Flash, are you okay? You seem upset.”
“I’m as pissed as you about what Tandy is doing with no regard for all you’ve done for her. And your father . . . he’s using her right under your nose. He doesn’t want you in his world, so he ignores and neglects you, but turns around and has someone you trust in his pocket selling drugs right across the street from your business and doesn’t think that if she’s caught it could come back on you. Especially if Tandy is stupid enough to sell in the coffee shop.”
“I don’t think she’d do that. If I caught her, she knows I’d kill her.”
“She knows, but apparently she doesn’t care. She’s living over the shop. She’s got drugs in her apartment. In a building you own. Do you have any idea how much trouble she could cause you if the cops search her place and then start digging around in your life? They’d find nothing on you, but it would wreak havoc and make you even more resentful than you are toward your father. The hurt it would cause . . .” Flash planted his hands on his hips, hung his head, and shook it, thinking about how deeply it would affect her. His chest ached just thinking about how she’d isolate herself, believing no one would ever be worthy of her trust and love again. She had such a good heart, and in it he saw a capacity for love that knew no bounds. He didn’t want to see her keep that all to herself, unused and shriveling into bitterness. She helped people. She was kind to those looking for a second chance. She didn’t judge past mistakes if you were willing to show her you were working for something better. No, she gave you a hand up and a push in the right direction if you needed it.
Her hand settled on his chest. He covered it with his and focused on the connection to her that pulsed through his system and made him completely aware of everything about her down to the hitch in her breath, the softening of her eyes, and the way she leaned in closer, and all that soft golden hair spilling over her shoulders.
Did she feel his heart thrashing against his ribs? Did she know the effect she had on him?
Did she have any idea how much he needed her? How long he’d waited, without knowing it, for her to come into his life?
How much it hurt to know he’d never get to see where this feeling building inside of him led them?
Thinking of where it led and what they could have together only made the wanting worse.
He needed to get away from her before he did something stupid. Something they’d both like in the moment but regret when it all turned to shit. Because it would. Because what they shared he’d built on lies that would crumble the way she felt about him and her heart when she discovered he’d used her.
So he walked away before he ruined what they had now, even if it was just an illusion.
Chapter Seventeen
Cara didn’t know what made Flash walk away. A profound sense of loss left her cold and empty and aching in a way she’d never felt. She wanted to feel his presence, his touch, the heat between them. She wanted his rough hands on her skin, the connection they shared that felt like a beacon that would always lead her to him, and see him smile at her instead of that intense way he looked at her, filled with regret and a longing that matched her own.
Why? Why did he walk away when it was so obvious he wanted to stay and get closer?
She turned to walk back to her lonely house but stopped short. How many times had she turned away from what could be something wonderful in her life? Friendship. Something more. How many possibilities had she squandered, too afraid to get close for fear of being hurt?
For the first time in a long time, she turned and went after what she wanted and believed with her whole heart that whatever happened was worth it, because letting this feeling go would be a loss she couldn’t live with and not regret the rest of her life. Her heart couldn’t shut off the dreams and possibilities she’d longed for once, lost, but wanted again. With Flash.
She stood in front of his door, stared at the grain in the wood, and sucked in a breath, found her courage, held up her hand to knock, but gasped and stepped back when Flash shoved the barn door aside and held a gun in her face. Again.
He immediately dropped it to his side and raked his free hand over his head. “Cara.” Her name came out on a relieved sigh that held an apology for pointing a gun at her for the second time in an hour. The relief turned to frustration. “What are you doing here? Go home.”
She dismissed the fact he opened the door armed and that he tried to send her away, but she couldn’t ignore his bare chest. She stared at the wall of sculpted muscle, unearthed the desire she’d buried long ago, and unleashed it on him.
She closed the distance, went up on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his neck, and locked her lips over his. Her body molded to his the second his arms wrapped around her and his hand landed on her ass. His fingers curled over the swell of her bottom and gripped tight, pulling her closer.
That spark between them flared to life as they kissed, his tongue sliding along hers. The ball of heat she carried low in her belly since she met him exploded through her system with every tempting taste of him. She wanted more and slid her fingers through his hair, held him close, angled her head to take the kiss deeper, and gave herself over to him.
The flames flashed out the second he pushed her away and ordered, “Leave. Now.” He took two steps back, leaving her to catch her balance as he pulled his hands away from her shoulders. “Please.” The word came out strangled and forced from his throat.
She stared at him, wondering what she’d done. “What’s wrong?”
“This.” He held his hands out, realized he still had the gun in his hand, and tossed it onto the perfectly made bed. All she wanted to do was mess it up with him. She wanted him to let loose his reservations and kiss her again, because when they kissed nothing else mattered but the way they made each other feel.
“How can something that feels so right be wrong?” She didn’t get it. She didn’t understand why he’d kiss her the way he did, the way he wanted to kiss her, and say it was wrong.
The frustration in his eyes and the firm set of his lips came out in the angry swipe of his hand through his hair. “Damn it, Cara. This can’t happen.”
“Why? You want it. I want it. If we’re both willing . . .” She held her hands up in front of her like holding up an offering.
“I’m trying to spare you.”
That got her attention. She dropped her hands, cocked her head, and looked him dead in the eye. “What does that mean?” Because if he was sparing her a night in his arms, in his bed, and a chance to feel something as real as what she felt between them, she didn’t want or need his sacrifice. She just needed him.
“I’m not staying. As soon as I finish what I came here to do, I’m leaving. That hasn’t changed. It won’t change.”
Her heart cracked, the pain an echo of past hurts, but it didn’t change the fact that she wanted this. She would take tonight, however many nights Flash gave her, and be grateful for them, knowing that right now he wanted this as much as she did, but gave her the chance to back out and save her the pain and heartbreak she’d feel when he left.
She turned and went to the o
pen door, feeling Flash stiffen behind her, hold his breath, and stare at her back, everything in him wanting to call her back. That’s how close she felt to him, close enough to understand all he felt and feel it herself.
So she closed the door and turned back to him, knowing going in that this wasn’t forever but just for now. Dreams of the future were wishes that may never come true, but right here, right now, she stood before a man she could have all those dreams with for tonight.
Moments like this were rare and sometimes never happened. She wouldn’t walk out because she couldn’t keep it. Instead, she’d hold on to it, cupped in her hands like a precious gift. She’d know that one day, maybe tomorrow, she’d have to let it go, but it would always be a memory to savor, a piece of her heart that would remind her, once, she was loved.
Maybe not the forever kind of love she wanted, but loved enough to be told the truth. Loved enough that he’d deny himself and her what they both wanted so he could spare her the inevitable hurt his absence would cause in her life.
“I’ll carry the hurt of your leaving to balance the sweet memories we’ll make tonight.”
“Cara.” Her name came out a plea, filled with wanting and begging for mercy. He truly didn’t want to hurt her in any way.
“I still don’t fully understand why you’re here, what you hold back from me when I see you so clearly in so many ways. I know you’re lying by omission when you try so hard to speak the truth to me.”
His eyes narrowed, confirming she’d guessed right.
“There are so many things we don’t know about each other. I’d like to know everything you’re not telling me. I want to believe we have time for all that, but right now all I want to know is do you want to make love to me as badly as I want to be in your arms?”
The shadows in his eyes showed the struggle in his mind. He wanted her but believed all she didn’t know about him and his eventual departure meant something detrimental to their future. He wanted to tell her, but held back for reasons she didn’t know. And didn’t care about in this moment.
His strained voice broke the silence. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, but—”
“No but,” she cut him off. “That’s a truth I can live with because I believe you. Tonight, because it’s you, that’s enough for me.”
He planted his hands on his hips, bowed his head, and sighed. “You have no idea what you’re asking me to do.”
She closed the distance between them, put her hand on his chest over his heart, and looked up into his earnest eyes. “I know exactly what I want.” She pressed her free hand to his rough jaw and gave him the only honest answer that mattered. “You.”
His hands came up and cupped her face. He stared into her eyes, holding her in his intense gaze. “There is right and wrong, truth and lies. We are in between those lines. No matter what else happens, when it’s you and me like this, for better or worse, there is only stark truth between us. I can promise you that much.”
Tears gathered in her eyes at the brutal honesty in his words.
He wouldn’t or couldn’t promise her anything more than the fact that what they felt when they were together was real and true.
His mouth pressed to hers. She expected the wash of heat but not the tenderness in the brush of his lips, the soft sweep of his tongue, the stillness with which he held her, or the intensity of all the feelings he poured into the simple, sexy kiss.
And that crack in her heart she’d felt earlier busted open with a flash of pure love she’d never felt. She knew it for what it was, the intensity of it promising a heartbreak like she’d never known and the capacity to love this man beyond everything and into forever.
It would never cease. She’d carry it with her all her life and into infinity and be glad for it.
She may not get to hold on to him, but she’d hold on to the way she felt right now.
Flash gave in, gave up, and surrendered to the inevitable and Cara. He couldn’t hold back the tidal wave of need or the emotions stirring in his tight chest. But the second he gave himself over to her and this thing between them, everything inside him eased with the rightness of it all.
Even when he held back some truths, he gave her the only truth that mattered in this moment, but wouldn’t save them in the long run. He’d hold her right now, knowing he’d lose her. Some things were worth the heartache, but he wished for a way out of this that didn’t hurt. Her or him.
He couldn’t think of one, and he’d tried damn hard these past few days when he woke up wanting her more than the day before. So he poured everything he was, everything he felt, into showing her that he meant this more than anything else he’d ever done.
Determined to prove to her this was the most honest he’d ever been, he set aside all his reservations and fears and opened himself up to her, wholly and completely.
If this was his one and only chance to be with her, if this was his chance to prove to her that what he felt was real, he’d take this precious opportunity and hold nothing back and give her everything.
Not in a rush but feeling valuable time slipping away, he let his mind and hands memorize everything about her. The way she smelled. Like wildflowers on the wind. Sweet. Intoxicating. The soft press of her lips to his. She tasted like a cinnamon sugar cookie, though he had no idea if she’d eaten one recently or her skin had just absorbed all the baked goods she made.
Happy to keep his hand planted over her rounded bottom, he pulled her closer and groaned when she rocked her belly against his hard shaft. He mapped the curve of her hip, the dip at her side, and the fullness of her breast in his other hand. He swept his thumb over her hard nipple and squeezed the soft mound.
She responded with a sigh and moan, arching her back and pressing her body firmly against his. Not a breath separated them. He wanted to keep her this close, closer, for the rest of his life.
If only.
But he had her in his arms right now, and the bed and heaven were just steps away.
Her fingernails blazed a trail up his back, sending a shiver down his spine and along every nerve, waking him up to her and the heat building between both of them. Her hands gripped his shoulders, her fingers digging in, holding him tight and close. Her mouth broke from his long enough to tap out soft kisses along his jaw and down his neck. Her hands came around and slid up his chest, her fingertips brushing over his nipples as her lips pressed a lingering kiss over his heart.
Her head tilted back and she looked up at him with a longing in her eyes that held him spellbound.
He gathered the bottom of her shirt in his hands, but hesitated to pull it over her head until she raised her arms, telling him without words that she wanted to take this all the way. Free of the shirt, her hands came back to slide over his chest. Her gaze followed the path of her hands over his shoulders and down his arms. She stopped at the lightning-bolt scar on his left bicep.
“From the accident?”
“A reminder to always stay alert and focused.”
“The inspiration for the nickname.”
Yeah, a name given to him by his cellmate, meant to show he was part of the crew. The scar and his lightning quick reflexes in a fight set the name he didn’t particularly like. Especially when the woman standing before him used it and all he wanted was to hear her say his real name, to know him for who he really was, not some ex-con.
On some level, she saw the good in him. She saw more than the fake background they’d contrived to trick her. Maybe she even saw a future together despite agreeing to this after he told her he planned to leave her regardless of what they shared tonight.
If wishes were wings, he’d fly.
They only had tonight.
Her hands slid down his arms to his wrists. She took them in hers and placed his hands over her breasts. Her racing heart beat against the heel of his hand. She released him to trail her fingers over his taut belly and down to his aching cock where her hands reversed direction and rubbed up, then down the l
ength of him.
She glanced up at him. “Don’t stop touching me.”
Happy as hell to follow that order, he brushed his hands over her breasts, around her back, and unhooked her bra. That barrier and all the others needed to go. Right now. Her perfect breasts and pink nipples demanded his attention. As much as he loved her hands on him, he needed more of her. He backed her up to the bed and gave her the few seconds she needed to scoot back and lie down. He followed her descent and pressed his chest to her belly and took her sweet nipple into his mouth just as her head hit the bed. She sighed. He devoured, licking, tasting, and loving every bit of one, then the other, of her pink-tipped breasts.
Her fingers roamed over his back, shoulders, and through his hair. She held him close and gave herself over to his marauding mouth and exploring hands. Her body moved against his until all he wanted to do was bury himself deep inside of her.
Even that wouldn’t be close enough.
He kissed his way down her soft belly to the button on her jeans. Her hands were already there undoing the denim, revealing a peek at dark purple lace contrasted against her creamy white skin. He brushed her hands aside. Though he’d love the sexy view of her in nothing but lace, he hooked his fingers in her jeans and the panties and dragged both down her slim legs until they got stuck on her shoes. She pointed her toes and he managed to pull the shoes and everything else off and toss them to the floor.
The light next to the bed cast a soft warm glow over her pale skin. He stared down at her, his hands on her thighs, and wondered how any woman this beautiful didn’t belong to someone.
“You belong to me tonight.”
Her eyes softened and her lips tilted into a soft smile.
A real one. All for him.
She leaned up, took his face, and stared right into his eyes, but he knew she saw much deeper. “Tonight, you’re mine.”
Her lips touched his in a soft, reverent kiss. They didn’t stop looking at each other as the kiss went deeper and so did the meaning of the words they spoke.
True to You Page 16