King’s blood.
Her father’s.
Tears flooded her eyes as the memories swamped her mind.
Ashley quickly removed her sweater shrug, leaving her in a simple T-shirt. She did most of the work getting it on Cara’s arms and folded over her front, covering most of the stains.
“There. All better.” Ashley rubbed her hands up and down Cara’s arms to warm her, though Cara didn’t feel cold. She didn’t feel much of anything anymore. “You’ve had a long night.” Ashley hooked her arm around Cara’s shoulders and ushered her out of the building and into the front seat of Trigger’s Camaro.
Ashley and the boy—Adam, his mother called him—climbed behind Trigger’s seat and sat in back.
She didn’t remember the long drive or following them into the hospital and up however many floors in the elevator, but when they got off and she stood in the corridor staring down the hall and into the room filled to nearly overflowing with people at King’s bedside, she stopped in her tracks. The older couple must be his parents. King looked so much like his handsome father. His mother kept her hand on King’s shoulder. Support and love pouring out of her with the soft look she gave her son. The two couples might be his siblings with their spouses. The DEA agents, buddies by the looks of it, were easy to identify by their badges and guns.
A nurse stopped in King’s doorway and held up her hand, fingers splayed wide. “Five more minutes, then you need to clear out. Only two visitors at a time. He needs his rest.” Law enforcement had its privileges and King got to have the hero’s celebration he deserved. At least for five more minutes.
Trigger, Ashley, and Adam passed her. Ashley turned back. “Come on. He’ll want to see you most.”
She didn’t think so and spotted the ladies’ room beside her. “I’ll just clean up a bit before I go in.”
Trigger eyed her but didn’t call her out on the lie. He escorted his family down the hall to join King with his. The heartbreak hit her again. If she were the one in that hospital bed, who would come see her?
She thought of Ray and Tim. They must be wondering what happened. She had things to do, people to take care of, decisions that needed to be made.
King had all the people he needed or wanted surrounding him. She didn’t know what that felt like to have so many people love you the way that group obviously did. Judging by the smile on his weary face, it felt pretty damn good.
He had a life and family she knew nothing about. She knew him in a way she couldn’t explain but her heart recognized in a way that made him a part of her.
But she didn’t belong here. With him. His family.
The drug dealer’s daughter wasn’t the girl you brought home to Mom.
Especially when she was responsible for the injuries that put him in that hospital bed and caused his mother and the rest of them to worry.
She allowed herself one last look at him. Not that she’d need it to remember every little thing about him. But to give her heart one moment to say goodbye. It wouldn’t. She couldn’t. So she turned and walked away and faced her very empty future alone—the way she’d been when he came into her life.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
King couldn’t get most of what happened over the last two days out of his head, but watching Cara walk away without coming to see him remained at the forefront of every other terrible thing. Worse than seeing her uncle pointing a gun right at her as King stood behind her barely upright enough to figure out how to get them out of there alive. Worse than watching her fall to her knees beside her father and burying her face in his back after he died and she realized she’d never get the chance to tell him she forgave him. Iceman sacrificed himself for her. For him. King wanted to repay that sacrifice with a life spent making Cara happy. But if she couldn’t even come to see him in the hospital, how did he expect her to give him the time of day now that they were both going back to their lives?
He could only imagine how she felt yesterday morning standing alone in the hallway outside his crowded room. She didn’t know what it was like to have the love and support of family and friends. He’d seen it in her beautiful but pale face, the haunted look in her tired eyes, and the sad frown that slightly tilted her lips in the wrong direction. He’d wanted her to smile when she saw him, not feel worse. And as she turned away, her hair a mass of bright gold tangles, his blood on her clothes, and the weight of the world dragging her down, she’d looked wrecked. And done.
He didn’t like that look. He thought he knew her well, but that look made him wonder what she’d do next. He couldn’t even guess, and it scared him that she might walk away and he’d never find her again.
Trigger wanted to go after her, but King had shaken his head, letting her go. Forcing her to be a part of his life after what she’d been through wasn’t the way he wanted to bring her into his world.
Hers had been destroyed. If he could convince her to give him a second chance, maybe they’d build something amazing together.
“The doctor says you should stay at least another day,” Trigger announced as he walked in the door.
He sat up straighter on the bed. “I want to be there when we finally end this assignment.”
Trigger eyed him. “Is it over?”
“For Iceman and Otis Potter, yes. We’ve dismantled half of Guzman’s operations in the state. It’s a huge win.”
“You don’t sound that happy about it,” Trigger pointed out.
He shrugged. “I’m happy we took those drugs off the streets, put away some major players in the cartel ranks, and exposed a bomber who could have gone after any number of government officials. Did the ATF find the C-4 Cara told you about?”
“We stalled them until today so we could go through the coffee shop wreckage, Otis’s cabin, dismantle his still, and . . .”
“And?”
“To give Cara a break. I don’t think she’s slept. At all.”
“I can’t say I’ve gotten much rest in this place.” Mostly because he couldn’t stop thinking about Cara, wishing she was here with him. What he wouldn’t give to hold her in his arms and ease some of the sorrow and anger and distress she must feel.
He couldn’t even imagine how it felt for her to stand outside her decimated business. It had given her a purpose and others a second chance. And the place someone she called friend had died.
If nothing else, he’d at least like a chance to tell her how sorry he was for her loss.
From the DEA’s perspective, Otis and Iceman were nothing but drug dealers off the street. But they were Cara’s dad and uncle and they mattered to her.
She mattered to him. More than anything.
“Did you bring the stuff I asked for?”
Trigger held up a duffel bag. “Change of clothes, notebook, pen, gun, your badge. I did not, however, find a way to get Cara to forgive you for lying to her. I assume that’s what the paper and pen are for, but, dude, just talk to her.”
“She needs time to figure out what she really wants and if what we are to each other is worth holding on to despite the lies I told her.”
Trigger sighed. “You really don’t think she’ll forgive you.”
“I got her father killed and shot her uncle in the head right in front of her. The odds aren’t really in my favor.”
“Those things aren’t your fault. They’re the result of bad men doing bad things.”
“Those bad men were her family. As much as she hated her father, she loved him. She believed her uncle was the one and only person in her life who would never betray her, then he tried to kill her. How is she supposed to believe anything anyone says or does after all she’s been through?”
Trigger raised his hands and let them drop. “I don’t know. But she deserves better.” He pulled an envelope from his back pocket. “Ashley loved your idea and made it happen.”
“Already?”
“What can I say, she has a soft spot for you.” Trigger turned serious. Well, more so than his usual self. “You’ve alw
ays had my back.”
“And you mine. I hope she didn’t do this for me because you think you owe me something.”
“Nothing like that. I know what it’s like to be in a bad place and find something great you never expected and not know if it will last once what brought you together ends.”
“Things worked out for you and Ashley. I want it to work out between me and Cara, but no, I don’t expect it to, not after all that’s happened.”
“So, what? You’re just giving up?”
“When I took this assignment, I thought I’d catch the bad guys and walk away. Done. Easy. This isn’t done. If she hates Flash, fine. But I’m not letting go until I make her remember how she felt about me when we were together. I need her to see that she was with me. Maybe she won’t be able to separate the two the way I can, but I have to try. Because if we have a shot at feeling the way we did then for the rest of our lives, I’m not giving up on that for both of us. Not until she tells me it’s over.”
The thought of her doing so tightened his chest and made it hard to breathe. He wanted to be by her side and help her through this difficult time. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right. He wanted a chance to prove it to her.
“Well, you don’t want her to see you wearing that gown.” Trigger shook his head at the light blue hospital gown he rocked with the bandage wrapped around his thigh. “Get dressed. I’ll go check in with the nurse’s station to see if your discharge papers are ready.”
King snagged the duffel from where Trigger left it at the end of the bed. “Thanks, man.”
“No problem.”
Trigger closed the door behind him. King had taken a shower before the nurse came in this morning to change his bandages. He unzipped the bag, pulled out the jeans and black T-shirt and other items. His leg hurt, but he managed to stand without the cane the doctor insisted he use for the next two weeks. He dragged on his boxer brief and jeans, no problem. The shirt was easy enough even though his body still ached from the blast. He had to sit in the chair to lean over and put on his socks.
A knock sounded on the door a split second before his dad walked in. “Looks like you’re ready to go.”
“You’re still here? I thought you and Mom left for home this morning.”
“We wanted to see you off.”
King glanced past his dad but didn’t see his mother.
“She stopped to talk to your doctor. She won’t be satisfied until he tells her you’re really okay.”
King rolled his eyes. “Again.”
His father smiled. “She loves you. I love you. You gave us quite a scare.” The worry laced in those words ran deep. He couldn’t imagine what his parents went through every time he didn’t answer his phone, or they got a call telling them their son was in the hospital.
Right now, he had no idea where Cara was or what she was doing. He didn’t know how far down the deep pit of despair he’d seen in her eyes she’d gone, or if he could reach her. It ate away at him. The need to go after her clawed at his insides, insistent that he act.
As soon as he got out of here, he was going after her.
King sat back with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry.” He hoped his father knew how much.
“I know you can’t tell us everything about what you do. Even if I don’t know the details, I see the way the job affects you.”
“I’m fine, Dad.”
Of course, his father saw right past that inane statement. “No, you’re not. Physically, yes, you’ll heal, but something is off. More so than usual after a difficult case. Does this have to do with the woman you saw outside your room yesterday?”
He didn’t think anyone else had noticed Cara, or him staring at her.
“I see,” his father said when King didn’t answer. “Who is she?”
“The one I didn’t know I wanted, never thought existed, but I can’t seem to think about the rest of my life without.”
His father sat on the bed, his hands braced on the edge, his upper body leaning in, ready to hear everything. “Why didn’t she stay and see you yesterday?”
He stared at the man who raised him to be good and kind and to always help others. “We don’t talk about the things I do in the line of duty.”
His father’s gaze filled with resignation and understanding. “Some people are called on to do difficult things for the right reasons. I wish you weren’t one of them, but I know the tasks you’re assigned save lives in the end.”
King pressed his lips together. “Tasks. I’m a sniper, Dad. I’m assigned to shoot people.”
His father didn’t say anything about that unpleasant topic that sharpened his gaze to a serious stare. “What does this have to do with the woman?”
“Cara. I killed the man who hurt her a while back. Her father set me up to take the shot to avenge his daughter. Then I killed her uncle right in front of her the other night. He’d killed her father right in front of her. He planned to kill her.”
“He wanted to kill you, too,” his father pointed out.
King nodded. At the time, the only thing that mattered was saving Cara. “I lied to her.”
His father’s eyes brightened with understanding. “You were working undercover. You couldn’t tell her the whole truth.”
“No one ever tells her the whole truth. Her whole life is filled with people lying and betraying her.”
“I don’t know what to say, Dawson.” Only his family called him by his given name these days. It felt good to hear it. “You were working. It wasn’t personal.”
He laughed under his breath and told his father the truth. “I let it get very personal.”
His dad adjusted his position on the bed, uncomfortable but not deterred from discussing something so private. “Ah.”
“I crossed a line, knowing when she found out who I really am she’d turn her back on me.”
“Are you sure she has? It seems she suffered one tragedy after another and probably hasn’t had a chance to sort it out. Tell her how you feel, then give her time.”
“I’m headed to her place now. The ATF is serving their warrant. I’ll pick up my stuff from her place while she’s helping them.”
His dad’s head tilted to the side and his eyes narrowed. “You’re not going to see her?”
“She’s not ready to hear what I have to say. So yeah, as much as I hate to be away from her, I’m going to give her time.”
“If what you two have is real, it won’t disappear just because she found out you lied about your job.”
He sighed out his frustration. “I wish it were that simple. I hope I showed her enough truth to believe I’m someone she can trust.” With the rest of her life would be nice. But he was getting way ahead of himself.
“She’ll see who you really are. If she hasn’t already,” he added, standing and holding his arms out.
King rose like an old man, slow and unsteady, but managed to give his dad a hug King needed to remind him of home and love and a place where even after his mistakes, misdeeds, and doing his deadly and necessary job, he was still accepted.
“Did you get him to tell you about that pretty girl?” No one, not even his mother, said hello when they walked into his room.
His dad stepped back, but kept one hand on King’s shoulder. “I’ll tell you what I know on the way home. Right now, Dawson needs to go after his girl.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?” His mother made shooing motions with her hands. “Get going.”
He glanced down at his feet. “Mind if I put my boots on first?”
His mother smiled, a real one this time. Seeing him in the hospital, no matter how non-life-threatening the injury, upset her so much every other attempted smile wobbled under her concern. Now that he was walking out—okay, limping out—her relief shined in her too-knowing grin. And with the prospect, or so she thought, of him having someone important in his life and that he’d be happy and in a relationship with more than his work, her smile grew.
> Trigger walked through the door followed by a nurse pushing a wheelchair. “Ready to go?”
More than ready to see Cara. He sat back in the seat and tugged on his boots, ignoring the pain in his leg and back, hoping he got at least one glimpse of Cara. He couldn’t hope for more, but daydreamed she gave him an opportunity to talk to her, one opening to make this right.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cara felt like a ghost in the world. Nothing seemed real anymore. She barely slept, couldn’t stomach more than a few bites of food, and felt like someone punched her in the gut and ripped out her heart.
If she didn’t know better, she’d think the last few days were nothing but a nightmare. Stuck in the aftermath, she wished she’d wake up but knew this was her reality. The outcome as inevitable as the sun rising.
Her father’s world crashed into hers yet again and threw her world off center and into chaos.
She hadn’t had time to process how everything went so wrong. How her father turned out to be the good guy—sorta—her uncle’s love warped into an obsession to keep her safe that made him believe killing her was better than allowing her to live her life, mistakes and all, and the man she loved turned out to be the cop sent to take them down.
With her background, she should have guessed. But she’d only ever been approached by people wanting to work with her father. She never expected the DEA to send someone to use her to get to him.
She took comfort in the fact even the DEA hadn’t suspected her uncle of working with Iceman. He’d deceived everyone. And could have kept on doing so if he hadn’t lost his mind and allowed his convoluted thinking to cloud his good sense and judgment. It tainted his love for her and turned it against her.
She jolted awake three times in the few hours she tried to sleep early this morning with her uncle’s shocked face, a bullet hole in his forehead, and his head exploding out the back stuck in her mind. She wanted to erase it, but it popped up like a mole in a Whack-a-Mole game she couldn’t beat. Every time she bashed it down, it burst back up. So unbelievable and scary and sad, the pieces of her broken heart bled all over again.
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