“Mother, Zane is here. He’s alive.”
Then she was gone, leaving nothing but pain behind her. Following the psychic trail, Anna Leigh ran. Seconds later she skidded to halt in an alley, dropped to her knees and pressed her hands against the gushing wound on her daughter’s chest. Parker joined her.
“What do we do?”
She took a deep breath, steadied herself, and gave Parker a firm look. “We have to hold her mind to her body until a doctor gets here.”
She refused to consider failure. Refused to accept she might be too late. She entered Zola’s mind and searched for her spirit, felt Parker join her. By some miracle they found her in time, wove their shields around her so she couldn’t slip away into death. She was aware of Jarek arriving, of Parker moving aside for him, but she remained focused on the light of Zola’s soul. When a second healer joined them, she moved to give him space but stayed close. Finally she saw her daughter’s chest rise and fall. Felt her struggle against the shields. Parker withdrew first. Anna Leigh hesitated long enough to be sure Zola would continue to fight to live.
“We need to move her now,” the other healer said.
She hadn’t noticed the crowd join them. Ignored it as Jarek picked Zola up and headed to one of the small open air cars used in the city. She swayed when he took her away. Thankfully Xan was there to catch her. He lifted her into another waiting car and they followed. He parked outside the gates of the Keep and led her inside. She followed. Numb, but under that numbness was abject fear. She could not lose another child. And what if Zola was right? What if Zane had done this? No. She wouldn’t--couldn’t--think about that right now. Several minutes later she watched as Jarek gently put Zola in a tank and it filled with some kind of green goo.
“What the hell is that?”
“A rejuvenation tank. The chemicals--the green goo as you say--will speed her healing. She’ll be fine in a few hours.”
She’d have to see that to believe it. But the display on the tank beeped steadily, showing a strong heartbeat.
“So we still have three Tel agents left out there?” Roarr, the Keep’s clan chief asked.
“I don’t know. Her brother did this,” Jarek said.
It was like being shot in the chest in her daughter’s place. Such terrible pain and agony.
“I’m sorry,” Jarek said.
“My fault,” she said. “Tel refused to retrieve his body. It was too dangerous they said, and that was probably true. I should have insisted though. I was too busy protecting my own ass and trying to keep Zola clear. But this…”
She paused but her voice still cracked when she continued.
“They must have broken him. Reprogrammed him. Never in a million years would Zane hurt Zola.”
The monitors beeped a low warning and Anna Leigh looked over to see Zola’s eyes open. She sagged against Xan in relief. There was a mix of panic and ire in her daughter’s face. She would be alright. Jarek waved everyone out and as much as she wanted to protest, she knew she needed to give Zola space and let her come to her when she was ready. She didn’t expect it to be so soon, however.
A couple of hours later, Zola knocked on the front door. She looked pale and weak. Anna Leigh resisted the urge to demand to know why she wasn’t in bed and being taken care of. Maybe Jarek Idis wasn’t strong enough for her daughter. She needed someone who could meet that iron will and tame it some. Anna Leigh had tea brought in and studied Zola as she sipped. Her face was tight with anger and hurt. But who was it directed at? Her mother, her brother, her mate, or all three of them?
“What’s wrong, Zola?”
She stared back so long Anna Leigh didn’t think she’d answer.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurted out.
Anna Leigh experienced a wonderful moment of happiness for Zola. For herself. She hadn’t done so much damage to her daughter that she was unwilling to live a real life. Then that emotion was shattered.
“He knew and he kept it from me.”
She looked at Xan, unsure what to say to that.
“Is that normal?”
“How would I know? I’m new at this too.”
“You were not exactly mother of the year, you know. And now you have this thing with Xan. It’s solid and strong. I’m not much of a telepath and even I can see that. What right do you have, Mother? Seriously?”
The words fell like blows. She didn’t even try to defend herself. And her connection to Xan? She might not be able to break it, but she still had no idea what it was or how to deal with it.
“How am I supposed to do this? You didn’t exactly give me an example to follow. But Zane and I decided to make a stand and we had to get that resolve from somewhere, right?”
A bright burst of hope before it was dashed.
“And apparently he was a victim of one of the mind control experiments.”
Anna Leigh heard the anguish in her voice. Felt the same cut deeper than Zola could imagine. To lose a child…that had been the worst horror of her life. This was worse. To know she’d abandoned him. To know her enemies had twisted him against not just her, but the little sister he adored. She wasn’t sure how to bear the guilt and pain. And Xan was having none of that.
“Enough. I understand you’re upset,” he told Zola, as gently as his voice ever got. “So is your mother. You are welcome to stay with us as long as you want to. You are our daughter.” Damn, the man put back the wrecked pieces of her heart without even trying. “A daughter of the house of Bana. Your son will be the Bana clan chief. But I won’t allow you to abuse yourself or your mother. You’ve both made mistakes. None of us should be defined by our missteps.”
“I just want to figure this out. And sleep. I am so damned tired.”
“Talk to her, sweetheart. Remind her. I’ve seen your memories. Seen how you loved and tried to protect your children.”
He’d been stripping her armor away since she met him, so she shouldn’t be surprised he saw the deepest core of her. The parts she’d hidden even from herself in a desperate bid to protect Zane and Zola. It made her fall for him a little more.
“Remember that, love. When we’re alone.”
“It wasn’t always bad. I protected to two of you the best I when you were little. You lived at home instead of school and took your first assignment behind my back.”
She took a deep breath, not quite sure how to convince Zola she’d been trying to keep her safe. “I know you think I distanced myself after your brother died, but I was trying to protect you. They’d already taken one of my children. I had to find a way to save you, to get you out. Zane would have wanted that too. You know he would have.”
“He came to me after he refused those orders. He made me promise we would find a way to get you clear of Tel.”
“What was he thinking?” Zola asked. “He knew they’d never let me go. Did he trade himself for me?”
The idea made her ill. Surely Zane would’ve known Tel would never keep up with their end of the bargain.
“I hadn’t thought of that possibility. I suppose he could have. We won’t know until we find him.”
“Any idea how to find him?”
“No. Maybe through the other agents when we find them. I’m guessing the third was also reprogrammed. We’ll have to make a list of missing agents and see if we can narrow down the possibilities.”
They spoke about her pregnancy and training the child if it was a boy for a few minutes. Plus Jarek’s belief it was a girl and his lying about the pregnancy. The conversation seemed to weary her. Anna Leigh hated the sad look on Zola’s face. She’d give Jarek a couple of days to fix this on his own. If he didn’t she had a few things to say to him. She refused to watch her daughter’s chance at happiness slip away, but Zola didn’t need to be burdened with that information.
“You need to rest. You almost died tonight.” She stood. “Come on, Zola,” she said. “Get some sleep. You’ll figure everything out in the morning.”
*
Xan f
ollowed Anna Leigh into their suite. She was quiet, withdrawn, with a brittleness about her that made his instincts scream to protect her. It also pissed him off. She was his der’lan. His world. She should be talking to him not burying her pain and fears beyond those walls he’d thought he’d breached. But here she was. Hiding from him again.
“Anna Leigh.”
He didn’t temper the demand, the dominance, in his tone and her eyes widened when she turned to face him. She stared as he removed his weapons belt and set it on a nearby table. Next he pulled off his shirt then bent to remove his boots. He opted to leave his pants on until later. She retreated as he approached, a flash of panic in her eyes.
“What’s wrong, love?” he asked, when she was pressed against the wall.
He pulled off her weapons, setting them on a chair as he bent to one knee to remove her footwear. He rose slowly and unbuttoned her pants. Held her gaze as his hand slid inside to cup her sex. She was hot and wet, her folds slick against his fingers as he slid two inside her clenching cunt.
“What do you want, mate? Do you want me inside you? Making you come over and over again?”
She moaned, rolled her hips against his hand trying to drive him deeper.
“Yes, damn it. Why aren’t you doing just that?”
It would take very little to make her come. Perhaps he had been too generous in that department. He’d thought to seduce her into submission. Thought to seduce her into complete trust in every aspect of their lives. It was time to change tactics. He dragged his fingertips over her G-spot before removing his hand and re-zipping her pants. She stared up at him with disbelief on her face. He stepped back.
“In the bedroom,” he ordered.
Her ire teased his senses but she didn’t protest. He followed her and stopped her in the middle of the room. She met his gaze with equal parts defiance and anticipation.
“Clothes off.”
He expected a protest but she held it back. Instead she removed her garments, carefully folding them and placing them on the dresser. He had her wait in the center of the room while he opened the cabinet that stored his belongings. One section contained a variety of adult toys. Everything from nipple clamps to vibrators to floggers. He picked up a set of leather restraints. Returning to Anna Leigh, he pulled her wrists to the small of her back and secured them. His fingers trailed lightly down her spine, was rewarded by a shiver. He slowly circled around to face her.
“I don’t like it when you hide from me, der’lan.”
His voice was low but firm. He reached for the button and zipper on his pants and freed his cock. He was a hard throbbing ache. One that wouldn’t be relieved until he proved his point. She followed his actions with hot hungry eyes. Licked her bottom lip. He could see her desire, but he couldn’t feel it. Didn’t know what she was thinking because she’d closed off her mind. He gripped the base of his cock, stroked the shaft lazily, all the while watching desire haze over her eyes.
“Sweetheart,” he drawled. She met his gaze. “No more hiding. No more distance. I won’t stand for it. Lower your shields.”
Her eyes narrowed as reason returned and the desire began to seep away. “Are you fucking kidding me? Suggesting that you love me once is not the same as sharing that emotion. And you want me to what? Strip myself down to the bone for something I sense in you but can’t always feel?”
There was anger and hurt in her voice, in the energy that slipped through her shields. He was stunned. He’d thought his actions spoke for him. His touches. His kisses. His possession. Anna Leigh was usually so damned matter-of-fact it had never occurred to him she was holding back because she wasn’t sure what was in his heart. She had kept to her promise not to invade another’s thoughts. Even her mate’s, whose very soul she had a right to see. Stepping close, he cupped her face in his palms and looked into her eyes.
“I don’t know how to express my emotions, to give you soft words. I’m a seasoned warrior and I’m set in my ways. Look in my mind, in my heart. See for yourself what I feel, der’lan.”
She scowled, gave a slight shake of her head. “I told you that was a measure of last resort.”
And it suddenly struck him. She was naked, her wrists bound, and she was arguing with him. Surely that was trust, whether she acknowledged it or not. He grinned and she glared.
“What?”
He shrugged. “Stop fighting it. Merge with me fully and you’ll see.”
“I don’t like the smug look on your face, Xan,” she groused with no real heat. It made his smile broaden. He hadn’t shifted position, still held her face in his hands, but he made no move to escalate the situation. She had to choose.
“This isn’t fair,” she whispered. Pleaded.
He almost gave in. Almost. “I want all of you. I need all of you.”
“You want me to give you the power to destroy me.”
Gods, yes. “Because you already have the power to destroy me.”
Her expression damned near brought him to his knees. Suspicious and hopeful all at once. He moved his hands then, sliding down her face, her throat, over her collarbone to her breasts. He cupped them but didn’t stoke the fire yet. He waited for consent. For capitulation. Submission. She lowered her lashes and when they rose, her shields slammed down. He felt what she did, down to his marrow. It shook him but he wanted to hear the words.
“Say it,” he ordered gruffly.
“Why?” she asked, moving easily through his mind. It felt so natural. So good. “You know.”
“You were the one complaining about the lack of words,” he drawled. He brushed his thumbs over her nipples and she trembled, tried to shift closer.
“No,” he said, moving to grip her hips. “I want…”
Her smile was slow and sultry and hit him in the kidneys. “You want me on my knees.”
His blood roared. Fuck yes, he wanted that. But he wanted it to be her choice, because there was no way in hell if she took that step he’d let her have even a semblance of control. Forget choice. She was his. She was so deeply entrenched in his mind now, she knew exactly what he was thinking. She looked at him with old knowing eyes.
“All the way, Xan. If I don’t hold back, you can’t either.”
No. No, he didn’t want that. “No holding back,” he agreed.
For either of them. She gave him a lascivious smile he’d never seen before, then backed up a step and dropped to her knees. She licked the head of his cock before tasting the shaft. Her tongue was a hot rasp over much too sensitive tissue but it felt so good he didn’t dare stop her. He looked down at her. On her knees, hands tied behind her back, long blond hair flowing down her back while she kissed and tasted his erection. Such trust. So much lust. She might think it was only because of the bond but he knew better. Her mind was open to him now in ways it hadn’t been before. She liked the role she’d found at his side. She felt useful in ways she hadn’t in years. And she loved him. She wasn’t ready to admit it, but he felt it. Deep and strong, born of respect and liking and desire. He’d never experienced anything like it before and he’d be damned before he let it slip through his fingers. He had to convince her. Had to show her. She gasped, her lips closing over the head of his erection.
“I see,” she whispered into his mind.
He wrapped his hands in her hair and thrust into her mouth. “I don’t want you to doubt us, love. You’re part of me, part of my soul.”
*
Anna Leigh couldn’t point to where she’d lost control. Couldn’t say where he’d wormed inside her defenses and into her heart. She’d never needed soft words before but those men weren’t Xan, would never have fit into the life she wanted to build here. He’d fascinated her from the moment they met and that allure had only grown. A tiny hint of self-preservation whispered a warning, but knowing it was born of years of conditioning to trust no one, she ignored it.
His hands tightened in her hair. Looking up at him, she sucked on the head of his cock, following the instructions in his
mind. Harder. Deeper. He took over shuttling in and out of mouth in short shallow strokes. His desire filled her mind and amplified her own. How had she ever survived without this kind of pleasure? Of belonging? The last of her defenses fell. Gasping, he pulled back abruptly, picked her up, and sat on the edge of the bed, positioning her so she straddled him. his cock prodded her entrance but he held her still, refusing to let her take the hard shaft. She met his gaze. Intense, hot, so commanding it made her tremble, made her pussy clench in anticipation. Then he gave her a slow wicked smile that would have made her knees weak if she’d been standing. His hands stroked down her thighs. Seconds later those talented fingers parted her folds and rubbed her clit in slow maddening circles.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me? You’re so sweet and hot. All mine. Only mine.”
He leaned forward and licked one aching nipple. When his teeth closed over it with just enough bite, she gasped.
“Say it, Anna Leigh. Mate of my heart. Say you’re mine.”
She was--there was no denying it--but she wasn’t going to admit it yet. She felt too good. Wanted to drag this out and get on with it at the same time.
“I want you inside me. Thrusting deep and hard.”
He switched to her neglected breast. His touches were soft, gentle. Ratcheting up her arousal but in no satisfying it.
“Xan,” she complained out loud, pressing against his cock. “Quit teasing.”
He slid inside an inch. She caught her breath, gaze locked on the space where their bodies were barely joined.
“More,” she gasped. “Give me more”
“Give me what I want first,” he growled.
She looked up into eyes darkened and gleaming with lust and love, and couldn’t resist teasing him. Teasing them both. She rose above him until his cock slid free, then she slowly lowered on him as much as he’d allow. It wasn’t enough. His nostrils flared and dominance flooded her mind. The anticipation made her shiver.
“Be careful, love. I’m no tame Earthling.”
Thank god for that. “No. You’re a strong, confident Delroi warrior who takes what he wants. So why aren’t you fucking me?” she taunted.
Absolution (Delroi Prophecy Book 4) Page 7