by Sands, Samie
“Huh?” Okay, that statement was odd, even by Mom’s standards, so I swing my legs to the ground and stare up at her with as much contempt as I can muster. “What the hell are you on about?”
“You know, the quarantine. Don’t you ever watch the news? The virus? Oh my God, Rae. I keep telling you to pull your head out your backside…”
“Mom, I need to get ready,” I tell her as firmly as I can. “Please just leave me be for now.”
I chuck all the awful clothes she’s handed me on the floor and shoot her a dreadful look. I do not have time for Mom and her obsessiveness today. She’s always been this way, I don’t think she’ll ever change, but today I can’t even humor her. I’m just too tired…
***
It doesn’t take long for my brand-new head teacher to work out what I could’ve easily told her if she’d bothered to ask: that I’m a very tedious, average student. Not particularly good at anything, but not terrible either. Distinctly in the middle.
“Okay, so I think I know where we can place you,” she smiles a little too brightly at me, really welcoming me. “But for now, would you like to meet one of the students that’s already on site? She’s sorting some stuff out in the drama department. It might be nice for you to get to know someone before you start.”
“Yeah, sure.” I get the distinct impression that it’s easier to just agree than to mention Zac. Plus, I want to learn more about my mysterious guy, and I wouldn’t say no to a brand-new friend. “Thank you.”
As we wander towards the drama studio, I try to adjust to this odd, cold building. I try to accept it as my new school, the place I’ll spend more time than anywhere else, but it isn’t happening. I guess familiarity won’t flow through me until I actually become a fully-fledged student.
“Okay, so Emma is in there. Do you mind if I take your Mom to see the inspection reports?”
“Erm, no, that’s fine.” I don’t really like the idea of leaving my mom alone with anyone, especially not when she’s got all this craziness in her brain, but the question didn’t really leave me room to say no. “See you in a bit.”
I tentatively push the door open to reveal a red headed figure hunched over a prop on the massive expanse of stage. She looks so involved in what she’s doing that I almost don’t want to disturb her, but it only takes one noisier step for her eyes to zoom up at me.
“Oh hi,” she stands up and wipes her hands down on her ebony skinny jeans. “You must be the new girl, I’m Emma.”
“Hi Emma, my name is Rae.” I move close enough to her to shake her hand. She has a sweet smile, an adorable heart-shaped face, and a kindness that draws me in. There’s a chance this is the one person I would’ve picked as a friend anyway, so I’m happy she’s here. “It’s nice to meet you. So, what is it you’re doing here?”
“Well I’m head of the drama club, and the place was left a bomb site at the end of school so I want to get it sorted.”
“Oh right.” I’ve never had any interest in acting, but it wouldn’t be polite if I didn’t at least offer. “Well, that sounds cool. Maybe I’ll join. If you need any help please let me know. I’ll give you my number, or something, and you can text me.”
“Thanks, that’s great.” A pregnant pause fills the air, which she instantly seems to feel the need to fill. “So, have you met anyone else from the school yet?”
“I did actually meet someone that goes here, Zac Gella, he said his name was.”
Emma’s face goes ashen and she stares at me in shock. I can feel my whole face heating up in sheer humiliation. Maybe mentioning Zac wasn’t the best idea. “What do you mean met?”
“Erm, we hung out a bit I suppose.” I can tell that my body is betraying the truth, but I refuse to admit it aloud. No way! Especially as I have the horrible feeling Emma’s going to tell me something that I really don’t want to hear.
“He’s just...I mean,” she stutters, shifting from foot to foot. “I heard that he’s a massive player. He’s supposed to have hooked up with practically every girl in the school.”
An icy chill fills my stomach as she speaks. What the hell have I done? This is why I should never have kissed Zac without knowing him properly. What a rookie mistake, now I’ll have a bad reputation already!
Emma continues to talk, telling me about some of the other students in the school, but my mind is whirring, panicking about the stupid error I’ve made. I can’t focus on anything…that is until she suddenly starts harping on about the same quarantine thing my mom was talking about earlier. For some reason, that captivates my attention once more.
“...it’s supposed to be a really dangerous virus, and if this quarantine really does happen, then I guess we won’t be starting school for a while anyway...”
“Wait,” I jump in, holding my hands out to stop her in her tracks. “You’ve heard about that?”
“You haven’t?” she shoots back, just as stunned. “How? Do you not watch the news?”
I suddenly feel like an idiot. I’ve been so obsessed with my own petty little problems, that I haven’t even thought about the rest of the world. Maybe Mom is right about me.
Maybe it’s time to change that...
“I haven’t, what’s going on?”
Six
I can’t actually believe it, I don’t really know what to think. I can ignore things when my mom is on about them non-stop, but it’s a whole other story when it’s a girl I actually think is pretty cool saying them to me. I don’t know why, but the impact is the exact opposite.
I need to more about the virus, which is why I flick the computer on the instant I get home from my new school to discover all that I can. I even leave my bedroom television running in the background, just on the off-chance that something interesting might crop up. There’s something in this, there has to be, and now I’m desperate to find out what.
I type in ‘New Virus’ to the search engine, followed by ‘Deadly Outbreak’ and other variations of the same thing, just trying to equip myself with at least some information. Even if this isn’t bad enough to leave us all quarantined and missing the first few days of school, it will be the sort of thing everyone else is talking about.
I don’t want to be the only one who doesn’t know anything.
The words that circle around in front of me spend an odd spike of ice cold fear racing right down towards my heart. The websites are very specific and incredibly morbid, and if it’s freaking me out, then no wonder my highly-strung mother is a mess. This is the sort of thing that could potentially send her spiraling into a breakdown.
Death toll growing by the day.
Low chance of survival.
Victims displaying worrying symptoms. Flu-like, organ failure, aggression.
I sigh deeply, and rub my eyelids hard, trying to rid all the mortality rate words out of my mind for a moment. Maybe I’m getting lost in this because it’s easier to deal with than the other potential issue I’ve unleashed. It’s horrible to read, but it doesn’t feel real, whereas he really does.
Zac bloody Gella.
He’s a player, Emma pretty much told me that, and I’ve kissed him. Before even setting foot in a classroom, I’ve probably made a million enemies, I’m going to have a terrible reputation, and even worse I’ve screwed up my chance at finding an actual nice boyfriend. No respectable lad will want to come near me after knowing I’ve already kissed Zac.
It’s official, I’m an idiot.
I flop down onto my cool bed sheets, listening to the hum of the TV as my mind whirs like crazy. All the potential issues that await me flood my mind and I don’t like the look of any of them. This is a freaking nightmare, I need something for damage control.
Or a damn time machine. Maybe if I could go back in time, restart in this damn town, then I could do everything really different. I could actually to use it to be the fresh start it was supposed to be.
Still, it’s too late for that now. I’m just going to have to find some way to turn this all around. I c
an do that…can’t I?
Seven
I couldn’t move my feet if I wanted to, they’re absolutely frozen to the spot. I could even start to believe that I’ve turned into a statue if it weren’t for the horrendous noise my thundering heart is making in my chest. My mouth is bone dry, an ice-cold fear trickles up and down my spine.
And the source of all this terror…my phone.
An unknown number is calling me, and there’s only one name I can think who might be attached to it. After all, I did give him my number during our random, middle of the night meeting. It’s the one person I never want to speak to again. But also, the only person I yearn to talk to as well.
He’s a player…I should ignore him.
But he’s Zac…maybe I shouldn’t, but I like him.
Maybe I should just see what he has to say, just in case it magically explains everything else away. I’m probably just giving myself an excuse to do what I already know I want to, but I nod along with my mind, succumbing to temptation.
“Hello?”
No one answers for a moment, leading me to completely doubt myself. I might’ve just got myself totally worked up for no reason. It could even be a wrong number.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
“Oh hi, Rae! It’s me, Zac.”
Right, of course, it is. So now what? I rack my brain for a moment, desperately hunting for something to say, but frustratingly my mind has now deserted me leaving me with nothing but a big black hole of nothingness.
“How are you, Rae?”
Stressed…why haven’t you rung me? You’ve had my number for days! Are you just a player, messing about with my emotions? Am I just another one in the long list of girls you’ve kissed?
“F…fine.” I wimp out, stammering a pitiful, bland answer instead of all the real things I want to say. The remain locked away in a box. “How about you?”
For the first time in my life, I wish I had more experience with boys and dating. This is like a minefield and I’m stranded without even a map for company.
“Mhmmm, would you like to hang out again later?” He sounds oddly distracted this time as he talks. A desperate need claws in my chest, I have to know more, but there’s no way I’m going to build up the confidence to outright ask now.
“Yeah, sure,” I hear myself answering before I’ve made any real decision either way. I shouldn’t go out with him again, I know that. He’s not the sort of guy I should be getting involved with...but somehow, I can’t help myself. Just the sound of his voice is making me shiver with excitement. I want to see him again, to spend time with him, to kiss him. Even if it isn’t the best idea.
Plus, I need to understand him better. I trust Emma, I believe every word she told me, but the tugging in my chest is too powerful to ignore.
“Okay great, meet me at the beach at eight?”
“Sure,” I agree, feeling way more excited than I should do. I’m an idiot, I know I am. I just can’t help myself. Teenage lust circles my brain, controlling everything I do. “See you then.”
As I hang up the phone I begin to regret my decision a little bit. Curiosity shouldn’t make me act crazy, I’m supposed to be acting smarter now.
Then again, maybe it’s better I see him now before starting school—if school even starts—just to work him out a bit better. Maybe this is the smart thing to do. After all, going in with no information would be so much worse…wouldn’t it?
Eight
Urgh, I never knew that I didn’t have a single thing to wear until now. How is it possible for someone to go through fifteen whole years of their life without realizing that everything they own is utter garbage?
I have dresses which all make me look like a child, jeans that I’m only now noticing fit weird, and skirts that I will never, ever be seen in again. It’s just a shame that there’s nowhere to shop in this damn town, giving me no other options than what lays before me across my bedsheet.
In the end, I go for comfy, only because I don’t want to have to worry about tugging things down or yanking them up all night long. I have too many other things to be worrying about now, like who the hell is Zac and what is he up to with me?
“I don’t care what you think, this isn’t…”
“Oh, well that’s just wonderful, isn’t it?”
My parents are still yelling at one another, just as they have been pretty much since the day we moved actually. I don’t really know what about, I’m not even sure they’re aware anymore, but it’s perfect really because it gives me the time I need to slip out unnoticed. The last thing I need is for a Spanish Inquisition just as I’m breaking free of this hell.
Once the cool, brisk air hits me in the face a smile begins to play on my lips. Okay, I should really be freaked out about what’s going to happen right now, Emma’s warning should be circling my mind, but it isn’t. Despite everything, I’m pathetically obsessed with the one boy I shouldn’t be, and the more I try to turn off those feelings, the worse they become.
What if he tries to kiss me again?
Hopefully, these jeans are okay, and he likes the band emblazoned across my chest.
What if he asks me to be his girlfriend…?
“Oof, oh I’m sorry.” I stumble backwards as my body slams into a stranger standing with his back to me on the side of the road. “I didn’t…” But I stop talking, mostly because he isn’t listening to me.
In fact, he’s swinging his fist backwards to punch the other man who’s standing in front of him. One who’s squaring up, just as aggressively.
No, don’t! I want to yell, to scream, to run, to do something to stop this horrific scene from unfolding in front of me but I can’t. My legs have turned to lead, fixing me in one place, I feel like I have a hand wrapped around my throat, blocking off my voice box, something is squeezing my lungs, making it impossible to breathe…
I’m useless, I can’t do anything.
“Stop it!” a screaming voice coming from the left of me finally grabs my attention. I spin my head to see a group of lads racing from the pub, pints still in hand, to prevent this fight from escalating. “Nick, don’t be a prick, this is stupid.”
One of the lad’s dives on the puncher, another on the punchee and they pull them too far apart to continue on with the row they’ve been having.
Still, I can’t move, my body is stuck, even now.
“What the hell is this all about?”
The guy referred to as Nick is spun around and flung towards the ground, his hands slapping on the concrete with a thump. His expression is one of pure rage, it’s almost as if he’s utterly uncontrollable. Spit flies from the corner of his mouth while he growls loudly, trying to express his anger.
Then, he senses me. I don’t know how, but his head snaps up towards me and his deep, dark eyes strike an icicle of fear right into my heart.
His face…
Finally, some kind of survival instinct kicks in and my feet start to run.
His eyes…
My legs are pounding hard, I can’t even see where I’m going I’m tearing around that quickly.
His cheek…
I’ve never seen anything like that before, and I hope never to have to again. His face was a weird, sickly color, which was hardly surprising really, considering all the blood.
God, the blood. So much blood…
Things come into view, places I recognize. I’m heading towards the beach without even thinking about it, so I might as well continue down that path. The last thing I need right now is to be alone, I have to unload, to share this with someone.
Poor old Zac, this probably isn’t going to be the date he expected.
Eventually, the exhaustion gets too much for me and I collapse breathlessly against the nearest wall. I need to compose myself, just for a second, and at least now I’m safe in the knowledge that I’m far enough away from that nightmare.
My eyes slide shut, just for a moment, but I quickly force them back open. All I can see in my mind’s eye
is that bite, a bite so huge I don’t think that guy will survive it. Someone bit Nick, right on the cheek, which will at the very least scar him for life.
Just don’t think about it, I try to convince myself. Just enjoy this night...somehow.
Nine
What the…?
My eyes scan across the beach, my heart hammering noisily in my chest, my brain dancing painfully in my head. This isn’t right, none of this is supposed to be happening, yet somehow it is. I can see it clearly with my own damn eyes.
The beach is full of people, teenagers fill the sand as far as the eye can see. It’s a party, not a date, and Zac is smack bang in the middle of it. He knew this was what he was bringing me to, and he did nothing to forewarn me. He said it was going to be a date…didn’t he? My mind flicks back over our phone conversation, but it’s all become really jumbled in my memories now, considering everything that’s happened since.
I want to leave, to simply run away, to avoid Zac for the rest of my life. He’s definitely a player, I can feel it right down to my core, and I’m the latest pawn in his plan. If that wasn’t the case, he would’ve just told me the truth.
I know that, yet I still can’t seem to move. My feet feel cemented to the spot. Mostly because this is the least crappy option out of all the ones I have available to me. Go home—urgh, no thank you, go somewhere else and risk running into the terrifying man with a bite once more, or stay here, and potentially meet some of my new classmates.
I hate it, the idea of sticking here fills me with sickness and dread, but I haven’t gone anywhere yet so it seems my decision has been made for me.
“Oh look, it’s Rae!”
I would’ve loved this to be Emma, my actual friend calling out to me, but since she’s nowhere to be found, I know it won’t be. It’s the person who I’m desperate to see, and who I also want to punch in the face too.