I was greedy by nature, always wanting more than I was given, but with her, I held back. For once I actually tried to be a good guy.
“I want you, even though I know it’s a bad idea. You have heartbreak written all over you in neon letters, Lawton.” She squeezed the aching flesh beneath her hand and dropped a kiss on the end of my nose. It was playful and very sweet. It meant more to me than any other kiss I’d received in my lifetime. “You can be my bad habit, Crew. You can be the entirety of my rebellious phase.”
I wasn’t going to give her another out. I tugged her back down, so she was plastered to my front. After all, if there was one thing I could leave her with before we parted ways, it was the knowledge that being bad sometimes felt really damn good.
Chapter 9
Della
I was used to my sexual encounters being as polite and proper as the men I dated. Very rarely was there a rush, a need, to get naked and to touch every inch of the skin exposed. Normally the lights were off, and everything was very mechanical and practiced. If there was an efficient way to get someone off, the men I typically ended up with had figured it out so the whole encounter could be handled in the shortest amount of time possible, so they could get back to managing their money and flaunting their wealth.
Being with Crew was a totally different experience. He was overwhelmingly present. All of his attention focused on me. He was watching the way my body reacted to his every touch, listening to the sounds he was pulling from my mouth. His fingers chased every shiver and quiver across my skin. It was almost as if he didn’t want to miss anything. The lights were on, highlighting every dip and curve of his body as he lost his shirt and ditched his jeans. He moved with an effortless grace that was undeniably sexy. The way muscle pulled and flexed as he leaned over me and deliberately stripped me of my carefully chosen outfit, minus the silk stockings and garter belt, was enough to have me breathing hard and blindly reaching out to touch. Only he caught my hands together in one of his much bigger and rougher ones, holding them over my head as he braced his big body over mine.
Crew’s dark head lowered, the tip of his nose touching the curve of my jaw. His warm breath puffed out in a gentle caress against my skin, making me shiver from head to toe. His body was hard in all the places it touched mine, especially his arousal, which rose proud and impressive between his legs. The tip was shiny and slick, the sight made my mouth water and forced a little gasp from me when he bent, and his cock knocked against his abs, leaving a sexy, wet trail. His lips landed on mine, his kiss devouring, consuming. It was the kind of kiss that seared its way into my memories and left its mark on all the soft, tender places I tried too hard to keep under wraps. This man with all his wild, reckless abandon got to me in ways I wasn’t ready for but knew I would never be able to forget.
“There isn’t any part of you that isn’t perfect, Della.” His voice was uneven and deeper than usual. It made me shiver, as did the compliment.
“I was thinking the same thing about you.” He really was an outrageously good-looking man. It was hard to remember he was made up of all rough edges and sharp points when I was lost in the blue of his eyes, and falling under the spell of his hands dancing over my skin.
My hands found their way into his thick hair, the soft strands curling automatically around my fingertips. His mouth brushed across mine, a featherlight kiss I chased as he moved from my face down my neck. I felt the wet tip of his tongue flick over my fluttering pulse, and I shifted underneath him as his new position brought the heat of his naked cock in contact with my stomach. I lifted a leg and wrapped it around his lean waist, trying to pull him lower, wanting that contact in the place where I was wet and wanting.
Crew chuckled against the base of my throat as he let go of my hands. “I think I like your eagerness.”
I liked it too, even if this was the first time I’d ever felt that way before.
I was going to respond, tell him I was never like this, never…hungry, needy, desperate…but I forgot how to make words when his mouth surrounded the tip of one of my breasts. My aching, tight nipple disappeared between his lips, and I felt the bite of his teeth. The sensation had my eyes slamming shut and my back arching off the bed. The motion pressed our hips together, and I felt every inch of his hardness grind and throb between my legs. Crew’s tongue tortured one breast, while his fingers found the sensitive point on the other and started to play. All the nerves in my body felt like they were suddenly electrified. I writhed against him, wordlessly asking for more and less at the same time.
I let my hands skate over the taut plane of his back, fingers digging into muscle. One of his hands slipped down my ribs and curved along the slope of my hip. His fingers played with the edge of my stockings, the silk rubbing seductively across the outside of his strong thigh. I held my breath as the rough pads of his fingers traced tiny circles inward, moving up my thigh and targeting in on the part of my body that was obviously reacting to everything he did to me. I would never have considered myself a responsive lover. I was just as efficient and brisk as the men I’d been with in the past. Knowing I had other things I could be doing that would undoubtedly leave me more satisfied in the end. With Crew, there was none of that. My attention was entirely focused on him, and the way he made me feel. I was cataloging it, keeping it close, because once he walked away, I knew the chance I would ever feel like this with another man was slim to none.
His fingers slipped through the moisture that painted the apex of my thighs, and I felt the back of his knuckles brush through swollen, slippery folds. A moan escaped my throat, and my head rolled to the side. My eyes wanted to drift closed, but I forced myself to keep them open. I didn’t want to miss a moment of us being together.
“Nothing cold about you when I have you like this.” Crew’s words circled around my heart and pulled tight. He might be the only man I’d ever encountered who thought I was warm.
“You’re hot, Della. You burn for me.” His hands stopped playing around between my legs. I felt the blunt edge of his fingers breach my tender opening, my body stiffening at the initial intrusion, then going soft and liquid as his talented touch stroked oversensitized flesh.
He was right: I was on fire. It was in my veins. It was licking over my skin. It was burning inside of me, following every move his fingers made. When his thumb found my clit and started a slow, deliberate pressure, it felt like the flames were going to consume me.
Refusing to be a passive part of everything that was happening, I worked a hand between our straining bodies, fingers tracing his cut abs and the sharp V that arrowed down to the erection trapped enticingly against my stomach. He was long and hard in my hand. The tip slippery and hot against my palm. His hips rocked into my touch as I stroked up and down the rigid length. I could feel the way he throbbed and seemed to grow even harder as I tightened my hold and used my thumb to rub an erotic caress along the inverted V that pointed upward from the dripping slit.
“Shit.” He panted the dirty word and moved so that his mouth was over mine once more, his tongue thrust into my mouth, mimicking the way his fingers were moving in and out of the wetness between my legs. The room filled with our labored breathing, and the unmistakable sounds of arousal and sex. I wiggled until his hand slipped away from the torment and torture it was causing inside of me. I hitched my other leg around his waist and purposely used the hold I had on his cock to drag the flared head through my quivering folds. I’d never had a bare cock this close to my center. It was foolish, risky, stupid, but I wouldn’t give up the way it felt for anything in the heat of this moment. The stiff flesh in my hand kicked in response, and I could feel him leaking a steady flow of precum, making everything slip and slide in the best way possible. The kiss he was feeding me turned wild and messy as he ate his name from my lips.
Crew pushed himself up on the hand he had braced on the bed near my head. The fingers he had between my legs found their way back to my aching center, and the pressure he put on my clit turned fr
antic and less coordinated.
His words were choppy and strained when he told me, “We’re about to hit the point of no return. Last chance to not make this mistake.”
I shook my head and blindly reached for where his jeans had landed when he pulled them off. Luckily, they were half on, half off the bed, so it was easy enough to catch a handful of denim and pull them closer. But Crew reached for the wallet he had evidently already dug out and retrieved the thing we would need to move this “mistake,” as he called it, forward.
I ran a finger over the arched line of his eyebrows, and told him honestly, “It doesn’t feel like a mistake.” It didn’t feel like rebellion, or gambling either.
It felt right.
It felt perfect and special.
It felt better than anything had in a very long time.
My words must have been enough of reassurance because a moment later Crew had himself sheathed in latex and shifted his body over mine so his erection was lined up with my fluttering opening.
Eyes locked on mine, he watched closely as the first press of his body into mine turned my entire world upside down. I wondered if he could see it in my eyes, if it was stamped all over my face. It felt like there was no way to hide the effect his body had over mine. It was one of the most significant things that had ever happened to me. It was the first time I felt connected so intimately to another person. It was the first time I felt like I was more than an accessory or a convenience. I was more aware of all the things that made me feminine and womanly at this moment than I’d ever been in my entire life. I was so exposed, so open and vulnerable. That was my worst fear, not being able to hide just how sensitive and in need of love and care I really was. For a heartbeat, I worried it was too much, and I was going to freak him out, but as soon as he was fully seated inside of me, he lowered his head and gave me a kiss that might have healed all the fissures and cracks in my chronically abused heart.
“Ah, Della. You might burn, but we’re going to go up in flames together.” He was good with words, too smooth and slick for his own good. Lucky for me he had the moves and the confidence to back it up.
He wrapped a hand around the back of one of my thighs, pulled me closer, and started to move. I curled an arm around his shoulders, and let my free hand wander across my torso. I brushed across my nipples and gasped at the sensation. Crew growled in approval as his hips slung in a pounding rhythm against mine. I felt my body clamp down on his, felt pleasure pool and passion light up inside of me. His cock raged through tender flesh, the stretch and slide making me writhe underneath him.
He panted my name and told me how good I felt wrapped around him. I sighed and told him to go faster, to hit deeper. I wanted to be able to feel him when he was long gone.
I worked my hand down my body, brazen in a way that was totally new to me. There was something about being with someone who didn’t believe the rules applied to them. It was freeing to know whatever I did, however I found pleasure, Crew would never judge me or look down on me for it. I let my fingers find their way between my legs and the backs skimmed over his pistoning erection as he dove inside of me over and over again. My fingertips feathered over the tight bud of my clit and my vision went white. There was so much desire, so much craving, I was ready to come out of my skin.
“Oh…my…” My words trailed off as his cock hit the special spot inside that made coherent thought impossible. How he found it when no one else I’d been with was able to was beyond me, but I was counting my lucky stars he had.
Reading me like an open book, and watching every minute response, Crew picked up on the fact he’d done something I really liked and repeated the move over and over again until I was breaking apart under his hands. I spiraled away on a cloud of bliss with his name on my lips, as my hand dug into his skin, leaving my own marks on him, hoping I would be as hard to forget as he was.
Lost in my own satisfaction, I hardly noticed Crew losing his steady rhythm as his thrusts picked up the pace and dropped any kind of finesse. When he found his own completion, he did it chanting “Della” in his soft drawl and with a look in his eyes that made promises I knew he didn’t plan on keeping. None of those things mattered though, because he’d given me a night to remember and beautiful memories I’d hold close, and I’d kept him out of trouble. We could be good for each other if we were brave enough to take a chance on us.
Chapter 10
Crew
Neither one of us got much sleep that night. By some unspoken agreement, we both seemed to know we had to fit as much of each other into these few stolen moments together as possible. If I wasn’t reaching for her in the dark, she was reaching for me, and I couldn’t hold on to her tight enough.
When my phone went off in the early hours of dawn, my first inclination was to ignore it. I didn’t want to burst the mellow, happy bubble I’d found in Della’s arms. For the first time in my adult life, I actually felt some measure of calm and balance. She quieted the noise that was always screaming inside of me. She dulled some of the sharp edges that were always poking me, prodding me. The ones I did my best to run away from. However, knowing no one would dare call me before the sun was up unless there was an emergency, I quickly answered while slipping out of the warm bed and away from the even warmer body. A chill worked down my spine when I saw my sister’s name on the screen as I padded naked into the bathroom, so the call wouldn’t wake Della.
“Kody? What’s wrong?” My sister owned a bar, so late-night and early-morning hours were nothing new for her, but I knew she wouldn’t be calling unless something was wrong.
“Crew…” Kody was breathing hard and sounded furious. “I’m calling you before I call Case because the guys that just came in and trashed my bar told me to tell you ‘time’s up.’ What in the hell have you gotten yourself into this time?” The disappointment in her voice shattered my heart.
I dragged a hand over my face and turned away from the mirror, unable to look at my own reflection. “Are you okay? They didn’t hurt you, did they?”
Kody huffed out an annoyed breath. “No. I keep a shotgun under the bar for a reason, and I grew up with two older brothers who made sure I knew how to take care of myself. Stop changing the subject. What kind of mess are you in that these guys showed up in Loveless and messed around with your family?”
I could have lied, would have if I hadn’t spent the last week with a woman who made me believe I could be better than I had always been, if I put my mind to it and finally gave myself the benefit of the doubt.
“I’ve got a gambling problem. Started out winning and it was fun, then I started losing. I got in so deep there was no way I was ever going to pay my bookie back. He threatened to come after you if I didn’t pay him what I owed after throwing the last of my season. I had to lose so he could stack the bets against me. I have the money; I was headed to Vegas today to get rid of him. He must have gotten impatient or was trying to make a point.” The confession tumbled out, and I knew for certain I would never feel as low as I did at this moment. My little sister was hurt because of me. What kind of man did that make me?
“Why didn’t you tell me, Crew? Why didn’t you let someone know what was going on before it got this bad? After all these years do you really think you don’t have anyone in your corner? Because I’ve always been there and I’m not going anywhere, no matter what kind of stupid shit you get yourself into.” She scoffed a little and dropped a bomb on me. “Plus I know a little about running numbers. You don’t think a little town like Loveless with nearly zero tourist traffic is the reason this bar is so profitable, do you?”
I groaned and ran my hand over my face again. “Kody…”
“I don’t want to hear it. Our dad is as much of a criminal as the guys who busted in and did this to my bar. I set up a spread on college football and let the boys bet against each other on the pro games. It’s not a big deal, and it brings in enough money I can keep a roof over my head and my bar open. I’m not hurting anyone. I don’t break legs
and threaten families when people don’t pay. I don’t let my customers get in that deep.” She sounded offended that I might even consider lumping her into the same category as Vargas.
“What about Case?” I couldn’t imagine a scenario in which he was okay with our baby sister running an illegal gambling racket from inside of her bar.
She sighed, and I could picture the way her forehead furrowed and the way her mouth would slip into a perturbed frown. Case and I looked a lot alike. We were both tall and solid. Case was bulkier than I was, more intimidating at first glance, but we had the same dark hair and blue eyes. Our mother’s eyes if you asked anyone who knew her before she passed away. Kody had our father’s leafy-green eyes but took after our mother in every other way. She had pretty honey-colored hair and was built with much smaller and more delicate lines. Her petite stature was misleading. Kody was the toughest out of all three of us Lawton kids. She also had the biggest heart.
“Case and I have a don’t ask don’t tell policy in place. As long as he doesn’t have confirmation anything illegal is going on, he lets me slide. He’s made it known, if he ever receives a complaint, or has enough proof to show what I’m doing, he’s going to shut me down. We don’t talk about it. It’s like the worst-kept secret in the world.”
“You think he’d actually arrest you?” I’d like to think Case cared more about his family than upholding the law, but I wasn’t sure. He’d had one hell of an uphill climb facing him when he took over our father’s position as sheriff of Loveless. My older brother wanted to run a clean department, to clear out all the corruption and misconduct that had flourished under my old man’s reign. Having most of his family lean toward the criminally inclined side of the street couldn’t help his cause in the slightest.
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