Her eyes suddenly snap open. They are glowing red. Before you can back away, she grabs you by the neck.
You can’t breathe!
Your vision blurs and darkens …
All that remains are two points of red light.
And then they too are gone.
You stab at the ‘Press only in case of extreme emergency’ button.
An alarm blares. Red light floods the cabin. A computerised voice speaks: ‘Extreme emergency situation. Initiating electromagnetic pulse.’
There is a blast of high-pitched sound, a crackle of energy and a flash of intense light. Then the pursuing planes and helicopters drop from the sky, splashing into the water. It looks as if all electronic equipment nearby has been knocked out.
You’re safe. Relatively. You’re still in a car/plane with an unconscious secret agent. You take a deep breath. You reckon you’ve played enough video games to be able to land this machine. But where?
You steer the vehicle back over land, past the city and out into the country. Below is a long, straight, deserted country road. That’s where you’ll try to set this extreme machine down.
You push on the wheel and try to keep it steady as you descend.
And you’re on the ground. Safe at last.
You find a laser cutter in the glove compartment and use it to burst the airbag.
Agent 66 is still unconscious, but she is alive.
If you want to try to revive the agent, go here.
But if you think it might be better to leave before she wakes up, go here.
You decide to wait, leaving the car/plane/submarine to continue on its way.
Hours later, you approach a gigantic high-tech submarine, just as Agent 66 regains consciousness and docks the vehicle. The massive submarine is a mobile HQ. You are taken on board and sent to the toilet with a bottle.
Go here.
You attempt to revive Agent 66 by patting her on the cheek. No luck; she just slumps forward. As she does, a gadget falls out of her pocket. You pick it up. It’s got metal prongs and a button.
You press the button. Electricity crackles between the prongs.
You wonder if a quick electric jolt might revive Agent 66. What have you got to lose? You point the gadget at her.
ZAP!
‘Ahhhhhhhhhhh!’ She twitches, and her eyes snap open. Her fist shoots out, punching you in the stomach.
With a groan, you drop the device. Why’d she do that?
‘Sorry about that,’ she says. ‘Trained response.’
When she’s recovered from your zapping (and you’ve recovered from her punch), she flies the car/plane back out to sea. A gigantic high-tech submarine surfaces and she docks the vehicle.
The massive submarine is a mobile HQ. You are taken on board and sent to the toilet with a bottle.
Go here.
You fly straight through the kites.
The chopper lurches as the kite strings tangle around the blades. The screeching of the tortured engine is ear-splitting, as the rotor grinds to a halt. The paper from the mangled kites plasters the window.
You can’t see where you are going. The helicopter shakes and rattles, rocking one way and then the other. Then, with a jarring thump and the sound of tearing metal, the screens go black.
You’ve crashed!
The simulator door opens and it’s time to let someone else have a go. That didn’t last long. Who would have thought that a bunch of flying toys would be your downfall?
You look out over the rest of the Expo. Where to now?
To head towards the ‘Hovercraft’ sign in the corner, go here.
To go to the ‘Food and Drink’ aisle, go here.
To just wander around, go here.
You pull the stick to the right in order to avoid the kites, smashing straight into the side of a tall building.
There is a jarring thud and the sound of tearing metal. The screens explode with flames and then go black.
You’ve crashed! All because of a bunch of flying toys.
The simulator door opens and it’s time to let someone else have a go. That didn’t last long.
You look out over the rest of the Expo. Where to now?
To head towards the ‘Hovercraft’ sign in the corner, go here.
To go to the ‘Food and Drink’ aisle, go here.
To just wander around, go here.
You sit by the side of the road and wait.
A few minutes later your legs start to feel a little itchy. You look down to see that you have positioned yourself right next to an ants’ nest. The tiny creatures have covered your legs. You try to brush them off, but they are very persistent, biting at your skin.
You scramble to your feet, but your injured leg gives out and you come crashing onto the nest. Suddenly more ants emerge from the nest, angrily swarming all over you, biting you repeatedly. You’re not just itchy now – your skin is burning with pain!
You see a car approaching in the distance and try to crawl onto the road. But you are covered in ants and weakening from their assault. They’re scurrying into your mouth and ears, down your throat and over your eyeballs, gnawing away at your soft insides. Seconds before the car arrives you slump into the ditch by the side of the road, too powerless to move.
The driver slows down to gawk at the wreckage of the race car, then moves on, never realising that you are lying close by … slowly being devoured by ants.
You decide it’s best to just get away. You are about to start walking towards the city when you realise that you really need to wee. Best to get rid of the super weapon nanoparticle plans before setting out.
You find yourself a nice bush and get to it. Unfortunately, you are right where a scorpion is trying to have a nap. Woken from its slumber, it is one irritated arachnid. The scorpion scuttles up your leg, into your shorts and stings you repeatedly on the bum.
The poison races through your system and you hit the ground before you even finish weeing.
A job as a secret agent courier? Of course you say YES!
The agency contacts your parents and arranges everything. Starting next week, you’ll be off to training, where you’ll learn how to work all sorts of vehicles – not just fast cars and jet planes, but helicopters, motorcycles, hovercrafts, jet skis, tanks, jet packs and Segways. As a secret courier, you’ll have to be able to drive or pilot pretty much any sort of vehicle at the drop of a hat.
You are about to embark on a real-life Extreme Machine Challenge.
You decline the job offer. It just sounds a bit too dangerous.
‘Suit yourself,’ says Agent 66. ‘But you’re missing out on a great opportunity.’
She flies you back to the Expo and drops you off at the front door.
No sooner than you are inside, you are pounced on by the two guys in white. They bustle you off to a hidden room and sit you down on an uncomfortable wooden chair under a really bright light.
You explain to them that you’ve already wee-ed out the super weapon nanoparticles.
The guy with the scar grunts.
‘We know about your urinating,’ says the second guy, his voice low and growly. ‘We are very impressed with how you eluded capture. Our fearless leader has advised that you join our network of evil. It is a good offer. You will get to drive all manner of extreme machines and play with lasers, death rays and other assorted gadgets of a sinister nature.’
They’re offering you a job? You’re not sure you want to work for a network of evil, but you’re worried about what they might do if you refuse.
To accept, go here.
To refuse, go here.
You wee into the bottle and hand it over to Agent 66. You are free of the nanoparticles and the secret plans.
Agent 66 is very impressed with how you handled yourself in difficult circumstances.
‘You’re smart, quick-thinking and able to handle some pretty extreme machines,’ she says admiringly. ‘The agency would like to offer you a job as a courier. Part-time, of
course, so you can continue to go to school. What do you say?’
So … what do you say?
To take the job, go here.
To decline the offer, go here.
You don’t really want to work for an evil organisation, but you don’t think they’ll take no for an answer. And you never know … it might be fun. You accept.
You are led out of the Expo to a waiting helicopter. But before you can get in, people dressed in black trench coats and hats come running up. The two guys in white are handcuffed and led away. The helicopter is impounded.
You breathe a sigh of relief. You’ve been saved.
But then one of the black-clad people pins your arms behind your back and handcuffs you, too. What’s going on?
Agent 66 approaches and glares at you. ‘So you turn down a job with the good guys, but then join up with the bad guys at the first opportunity? Very disappointing. You are going to prison for treason.’
Before you have the chance to respond you are dragged away. You don’t get a phone call. You don’t get a trial. You don’t get to talk to anyone or explain anything. You are taken to a secret, underground prison and thrown into a dark, dank cell …
Then Agent 66 throws away the key.
You’re not going to be bullied into something you don’t want to do. You refuse to join the network of evil.
The man with the scar grunts.
‘Pity,’ says the other guy, slowly reaching into his pocket. ‘We can’t take the risk of you using your skills against us by joining the opposition.’
You cower in the chair, expecting something really bad to happen.
The guy forces a pill into your mouth. Is it poison?
‘No, not poison,’ says the guy. ‘A specially formulated drug to make you clumsy and uncoordinated. You’ll be no threat to us now.’ He laughs maniacally and the guy with the scar grunts. Then the two of them leave.
You get up from the chair and trip over your own feet. You go to open the door, but it takes you three attempts to just turn the handle. In this state, you’ll never be able to ride a bike let alone drive an extreme machine.
Your dream of being a pro racer is over.
You hit the ‘Submergence Conversion’ button. Sure enough, just as you’d hoped, the car/plane plunges into the water, wings and wheels retracting, fins and propellers taking their place.
As the car/plane/submarine cruises at a depth of 100 metres, you try to free Agent 66 from the airbag. You find a laser cutter in the glove compartment and use it to burst the airbag.
But Agent 66 is still unconscious.
You wonder where the car/plane/submarine is taking you. Is it on autopilot? Maybe you should try to drive it back to land?
If you want to take the controls and try to drive back to land, go here.
If you’ d rather wait and hope that Agent 66 wakes up, go here.
You hit the control to pull shut the car roof. As the glass slides into place, you slow the car just a little in order to let the motorcycle get right behind you. Then, when it’s only a metre or so away …
You slam your foot down on the brake!
The motorcycle doesn’t have time to stop. It crashes into the back of the car and you are jolted forward. The impact spins the bike up into the air and over the car. The rider is thrown from the bike.
The bike lands a few metres ahead of you, a mass of twisted metal skidding across the dirt road, churning up a cloud of dust.
CRASH!
The rider lands across your bonnet. Her leather jacket is torn, her mirrored shades are cracked and she’s lying still. Is she dead?
Her hand twitches. As she raises her head, her sunglasses fall off to reveal red glowing eyes. You scream and stomp your foot onto the accelerator.
You’re tearing off up the road, the truck driver clinging to your bonnet, Mr Pacer squealing hysterically. Slowly, she pulls herself up towards the windscreen. You swerve onto a small side-road. She’s still clinging on.
You increase your speed as you follow the upward slope into the mountains. And yet she continues to hang on, crawling towards your windscreen.
Her fist smashes down onto the glass.
‘It’s tempered glass,’ whimpers Mr Pacer. ‘Bulletproof.’
She brings her fist down again. A small crack appears.
‘That’s impossible!’ screams Mr Pacer. He looks to you with panicked eyes. ‘Do something!’
You go faster. As the car speeds up the winding road, you get dangerously close to the sheer drop. You can see bits of rock and gravel thrown up by your wheels going over the edge.
Again, the fist crashes down. The crack widens.
Your heart is thumping uncontrollably, you’re dripping with sweat and your hands are trembling. The state of your nerves is not helped by Mr Pacer’s incessant high-pitched squealing.
The fist smashes down once more. The glass shatters. Mr Pacer yelps.
The truck driver’s massive hands are reaching for your throat.
Up ahead is a large sign: ‘DANGER! BRIDGE OUT!’
You have no other choice. You drive the car over the edge. As you sail through the air you stab at the ejector seat controls.
You are propelled from the car, a parachute opening and slowing your fall. Then you realise that the passenger ejector seat has already been used.
Tough luck for Mr Pacer.
You thank the alien, but say you don’t feel up to the challenge of driving his spaceship.
‘You just burst my little speed bubble.’ Blarp sighs. ‘So I guess I’ll just take you back to Earth and drop you off at the Expo.’
You nod.
Blarp disappears down the hatch. Seconds later a larger hatch opens beneath the hovercraft, swallowing you into the darkness.
The lights flicker on. A gigantic screen illuminates one wall, showing the sky and landscape outside.
‘I thought we might take the scenic route,’ says Blarp. ‘It’ll only add a couple of minutes to the trip.’
The spaceship zooms off into space. The screen is a blur of motion. The moon streaks by. Planets and meteors and asteroids zip past. Is that Saturn you just saw?
The ship stops suddenly and rotates. Before you is the entire solar system. Majestic. Wonderful. Amazing. Your mind is blown!
Then you’re moving again, weaving through the planets and landing next to the exhibition centre.
‘The solar system in ninety-six point seven seconds,’ says Blarp. ‘How’s that for speed?’
You don’t have a chance to answer. A hatch opens and you and the hovercraft are ejected out onto the lawn.
You look back, but see nothing. The spaceship must be invisible again.
You return the hovercraft. After, as you glance around at all the Expo displays, you realise that none of these supposedly extreme machines could possibly live up to the alien spaceship you refused the opportunity to drive. You’re kicking yourself now.
Goodness knows what problems will arise if an evil organisation gets its hands on a super weapon. You can’t let that happen!
You decide to make a noble sacrifice and fling yourself from the helicopter, only to discover that you still have your seatbelt on. How embarrassing!
The woman lunges at you with the syringe. You unclip your seatbelt and jump from the helicopter. The woman overbalances and falls with you.
As the two of you plummet, she tries to skewer you with the needle. You’re watching the ground approach and your life, short as it’s been, flashes before your eyes when …
You land in a comfy seat.
You’re in a dark-coloured jet, the mysterious woman in black in the cockpit.
You’ve been saved!
You suddenly realise that, after all this excitement, you desperately need to wee!
The woman in black, who introduces herself as Agent 66, flies the jet out to sea. A gigantic high-tech submarine surfaces and she docks the plane. The submarine is a mobile HQ. You are taken on board and sent to the toilet with
a bottle.
Go here.
You don’t drink the water.
When the woman has finished beating up the men in white, she retrieves the glass from you. She snaps her fingers and the car doors slide up. She gets in and secures the glass of water in one of the cup holders.
‘Thanks,’ she says. ‘You’ve just helped save the world.’
The doors close and the car streaks off down the road. The men in white are lying unconscious on the footpath.
You wonder what that was all about.
A policeman approaches and asks about the men. You try to explain about the woman in black, but he doesn’t believe you. You end up being dragged to the local police station for questioning. By the time you’re done, the Expo is over.
Tough luck!
You drink the water.
‘No!’ screams the woman, as she simultaneously kicks the two men into unconsciousness.
She snaps her fingers and the car doors slide open. She pushes you into the passenger seat and gets behind the wheel. As the doors swoosh shut, you see one of the men regain consciousness. He starts talking into his watch.
‘Buckle up,’ says the woman. ‘This is going to be one helluva ride.’
You only just have time to snap your seatbelt into place when you are pressed back into your seat by the speed at which the car zooms off.
Go here.
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Extreme Machine Challenge Page 5