And the last time she’d brought up pregnancy with a man, he’d hit her until she’d miscarried. Though she didn’t believe Elijah would do that, the memories of that day were still horribly fresh. Without knowing how Elijah would react, she didn’t think she was brave enough to risk telling him.
She sighed. There was no easy answer.
“What’s wrong?” Elijah asked.
She glanced at him in surprise to find he watched her carefully.
“I’m okay,” she told him. “Just thinking. How long will the storm last?”
He shrugged. “A few days. Then a couple more for the worst of the snow to melt and I can take you down the mountain.”
Gia’s gut twisted at his words, but she nodded. So, he still assumed she’d leave. He hadn’t asked her to stay beyond the snow storm, hadn’t even hinted at it. Perhaps he did only want to use her while she was here, and then he’d send her on his way having got what he’d wanted.
He didn’t seem like the kind of man who would do that, but did she know him as well as she thought?
She smiled, but it wasn’t particularly convincing. Her heart ached and tears threatened behind her eyes. She wanted some space to herself, but she was trapped in here with the very man making her both the happiest woman alive and the most miserable. It was a painful contradiction.
“Are there any more chores to do?” she asked, hoping for something else to fill her time, but he shook his head. “I think I’ll have a lie-down, then.”
Elijah looked deeply concerned by this, but let her move past him and lay on the bed, back to the room. The man needed some books. A radio. A board game. There was no reason for him to still be living in the 19th century. He could be off the grid and still in this day and age. By the sounds of things, his friend Aaron did just that.
Gia squeezed her eyes shut and tears slipped out. She knew she was being sour and uncharitable, but she was confused and sad and had nothing to distract her from it. All she could do was stew in her own thoughts; they went around and around, worsening with each pass.
Guilt for feeling this way when Elijah didn’t deserve it worsened her misery, until all her brain could do was fall into a fitful slumber to give her respite.
Right before she drifted off, a gentle hand settled on her hair, soothing her, and her heart cracked open all over again.
Chapter 16
Shivers wracked Ray’s entire frame. He glared at his companion across the weak fire between them. They were in a cave. Dark, dank, and freezing cold, lit only by the flickering light of the flames. A horrible smell drifted from further into the cave, which Aaron had informed him was “probably hibernating bears”.
Ray wanted to rip the man’s head off, but knew that would be stupid. Not only was he trapped up here on the mountain, now there was a fucking snow storm outside. They’d been moving from cave to cave for the last day. Luckily, Aaron was familiar enough with this mountain that he knew where each cave was, even with the poor visibility outside. Ray refused to stay still and get trapped with the man longer than necessary, not when he had a wife—and money—to find.
But they couldn’t go much farther today.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay here until it blows over?” Aaron said, throwing another stick on the fire. It hissed and smoked, too wet to burn properly, which made Ray even more irrationally angry.
“No. We go at first light.”
The scratch on his leg still burned, and he was out of toilet paper again. Howie’s roll hadn’t lasted him. His head swam, making it difficult to concentrate, but Ray didn’t take his eye off his companion. He didn’t trust the man as far as he could throw him.
He’d barely slept last night, keeping one eye on Aaron with his gun pointed loosely at him. He’d dozed, only to be woken by pain, or dizziness, or anger at his wife.
He blamed her for this, of course. If she hadn’t fucked off—with half his money—he’d still be at home, in relatively warm weather for winter, enjoying wine, and women, and all the toilet paper he could want.
Now, he was stuck with a smug asshole, melting snow, and moss. Ugh.
He scratched absently at the wound on his leg, then winced in pain. Aaron didn’t miss a beat, his crafty eyes darting from Ray, to his leg, to the gun in his lap, and back to Ray.
Yeah, he didn’t trust the fucker at all.
“How long until we find my wife?” he gritted out, shifting closer to the fire to steal more of its meager warmth. He’d taken his boots off to dry them, but hadn’t wanted to lose the socks. Bare feet in this weather didn’t seem like a good idea. And, worse, his feet were so painful Ray didn’t want to know what he’d find. If it was bad, he’d deal with it once he got off this damned mountain.
Besides, he had no intention of showing weakness to Aaron, since the man had been watching him, waiting for him to drop his guard.
Aaron shrugged off his question. “All trace of their path is gone with the storm. We’ll never find her.”
Ray nodded, but inside his rage exploded. Thwarted at every turn, including by Mother Nature herself. Another bitch to add to his hit list.
He should’ve given up. His wife was probably dead. What did she know about keeping herself alive in snow storms? If she hadn’t taken his money, he wouldn’t have cared. But even if she was dead, chances were his money was still out there, crumbling to nothing next to her rotting corpse. And that was a fucking waste. Particularly when he needed that money.
But how to find her?
Aaron was right, the snow storm had obliterated anything useful. Visibility was poor, and likely would be for days. So how to—
“Their?” he asked sharply.
Aaron’s head snapped up. “What?”
“You said “all trace of their path is gone”, not “her path”.”
Aaron shook his head, tension lining his body. “Did I? Are you sure you heard right?”
“Don’t fuck with me, I know what you said.” Stupid prick.
Aaron shrugged. “I must have misspoke.”
Ray’s fingers curled around the gun and he aimed it directly at Aaron’s head. “What did you mean?” he enunciated through his fury. His hand shook with cold, with exhaustion, with rage. But surely Aaron wasn’t stupid enough to figure Ray had no chance of hitting his target at this close range.
“If you kill me, you’ll die out here,” Aaron reminded him.
“If I go home empty handed I’m dead anyway,” Ray sneered. “What did you see at the crash site?”
Aaron sighed. “There was only one set of footprints.” He hesitated. “But they weren’t your wife’s.”
Ray stared at him for a long moment. “So she didn’t walk off on her own? Someone took her?”
Aaron shrugged. “Looks that way.”
“Who?”
“How am I meant to know?”
The asshole was lying. Ray cocked the gun. “Who?” he repeated.
Aaron gritted his teeth. “There’s only one person I know who lives around here, so probably him. Unless it was a rescuer we don’t know about yet.”
They’d lost contact because of the storm. If anyone had found her—and his money—in the meantime, he and Aaron wouldn’t know until the weather cleared.
“This guy you know. Where’s his house? Or cave? Or whatever-the-fuck?”
Aaron grimaced. “I don’t know, not exactly. I’ve never been there.”
“Not exactly. But you know approximately.” It was a statement, not a question.
Aaron hesitated, then gave a single nod.
“Where?” Ray demanded.
Reluctantly, Aaron waved a hand in the direction of the cave entrance. Ray followed the movement and pictured it in his head.
His jaw worked for a full minute before he could bite out his next words. “You mean it’s in the opposite direction to the one we were going in?”
Aaron glared at him impotently.
“You were leading me away from them.”
Aaron shrugged. “I led you
to shelter so we wouldn’t die, but think what you want.”
Ray sneered. He knew the man lied. The bastard had been using the snowstorm and poor visibility as cover to lead Ray away from his friend and farther down the mountain.
“I ought to shoot you right now.”
“You can try,” Aaron said. “But I’ll take comfort in the fact the gunshot will wake the bears. And they won’t let you out of here alive.”
His smug smile was back and Ray narrowed his eyes. The asshole was right. Ray didn’t want to kill him yet, because he knew jack shit about surviving in this weather. And he wouldn’t sign his own death warrant when there was still a chance he’d get his money. He’d simply have to watch his guide more carefully from now on.
He shivered again. Aaron, infuriatingly, didn’t seem affected by the cold. Ray hoped that didn’t mean he was sick from this miserable weather. That was the last fucking thing he’d need. Though with the way his head swam and muscles ached, he wouldn’t be surprised to find he had the flu. Or worse.
Instead, he shuffled until the cave wall was at his back, his feet stretched out in front of him to dry near the fire. Steam rose from his wet socks. His companion sat calmly on the other side of the flames. The man’s lack of visible fear made Ray’s fury worse.
He would definitely kill this man before he got off the fucking mountain.
Chapter 17
Something was wrong.
Elijah was smart enough to know that, but Gia kept whatever it was to herself no matter how many times he asked. She’d told him she needed to think, and that she’d tell him when it was straight in her head. Whatever he’d done, he didn’t know how to fix it.
Her mood had improved after she’d woken from her nap, but there was still a tinge of sadness in her eyes. Almost any other emotion he could find a possible explanation for. Disappointment could mean he’d done something wrong in bed, failed to please her. Anger could mean he’d said something thoughtless. But how had he made her sad?
Before she’d had her nap, he’d intended to ask her to stay. Even after the snow storm, he wanted her here, with him. She belonged here, and he didn’t have any intention of letting her go.
But now he wasn’t sure whether asking her would upset her more. Maybe she wanted to go home? Maybe she missed her friends? Not her husband, considering the stories she told about him. But there could be someone else she loved back home. Someone she’d betrayed by being here with Elijah.
He shook his head to clear his mind and glanced up at her. Now, she seemed content enough to knit a lopsided scarf. He had to trust what she’d said was true, she’d tell him once she was ready. Then, he could do something to make it up to her.
“You know what you need up here?” she asked him.
He tensed, ready for her to suggest some other modern convenience, like she had earlier. “What’s that?” he answered, trying to keep his voice steady.
“Chocolate,” she said simply. “It’s after dinner and I want something sweet.”
He relaxed and laughed. “You’re sweet.”
She sent him a teasing smile. “Sometimes. But sometimes I want dessert. You don’t even do much fruit up here, do you?”
He shook his head. “Just enough to make the jam. I’ll consider more for the next planting season.” He didn’t have much space in the garden beds, particularly since each season he left some empty to rejuvenate the soil. But he could make more room beyond for trees or bushes. He definitely would if it would help convince her to stay with him. “Chocolate won’t grow, but the store has some.”
She grinned at him. “I’d like that.”
Elijah let out a relieved breath. Maybe whatever had upset her was only temporary. He hoped so.
His father had gone through odd moods, too. But those had been remnants from his time in war, and had manifested as paranoia and anger, not sadness. It couldn’t be that. The only other person Elijah knew well enough to judge moods was himself. He sometimes fell into inexplicable melancholy, particularly when the loneliness took hold. Gia could simply be experiencing something similar.
As they readied themselves for bed, Elijah nearly asked her again. Stay. Stay with me. But he couldn’t do it, not when he didn’t know what she was thinking.
They made love gradually that night. He got his chance to explore every inch of her with his lips and tongue until she cried out for him to take her. The orgasm came over both of them in a slow, rolling wave of pleasure that crested for an endless moment before settling them back to earth.
As she drifted off to sleep, he held her to him, tighter than before. If she wanted to leave, how could he possibly let her go?
The wind finally dropped to a more bearable pace, though the snow was still falling in heavy gusts. It was the first sign the storm was ending, and Elijah couldn’t help but be concerned it also meant the end of him and Gia. He still hadn’t figured out what had bothered her the other day, what was still bothering her. The only thing he could think was she was desperate to leave. Leave the mountain, and leave him.
He handed her the dinner he’d made—more soup. She tasted it, looked at him, looked at the dish, then strode to the kitchen and defiantly pinched salt into her bowl.
“You like salt, huh?” he said mildly.
“I like flavor,” she retorted. Then, she deflated. “Sorry, that was mean. I’m just not used to food like this. Most places I ate at back home were full of all kinds of flavors.”
She perched back on the bed. Elijah couldn’t take his eyes off her. “Do you miss it?” he asked softly.
She considered him for a long moment. “Yeah,” she breathed. The word was like a kick to his chest. Of course she did. He shouldn’t be surprised. And yet disappointment filled him all the same. “Apart from everything with Ray, it was a life of ease. Many of those conveniences I could do without. But some? I’m not sure I could give them up.”
Elijah held himself still. “Like what?”
She gentled her voice. “Safety nets,” she said. “Emergency food that’s not too far away. Friends nearby who can help if anything goes wrong. A hospital for emergencies.”
Elijah’s jaw worked. “All the things I don’t have out here.”
She met his gaze, and apologies were written across her features. He didn’t want to listen to her explanations, her judgments, but she kept talking.
“I keep thinking if I lived…in a place like this,” she said, but he wondered if she meant here. With you. “What would happen if anything went wrong? If…the person I lived with got hurt or injured? I’m not equipped to deal with that, not alone.”
“You’d deal,” he told her, even as his gut churned. He fully believed she was strong enough to conquer anything that came her way. She’d survived much worse than this. He didn’t want to hear what else she was saying, what excuses were coming. All he knew was she didn’t care for him enough to stay. Enough to try.
“Maybe,” she said with a nod. “But could I travel two days down a mountain to get help? And then two days back up again? God only knows what could happen in that time.”
“It wouldn’t happen.”
“But you said yourself it might. You’re prepared for it to happen, so I’d have to be as well.”
“Just because I’m prepared for the worst doesn’t mean it’ll happen. It simply means I’m prepared.” His jaw was clenched and anger leached into his words. Anger that felt suspiciously like fear. “I’ve never been seriously injured before.”
“But you’ve been injured. And you’ve been trapped out here without food. You’ve been trapped out there without shelter. You told me all that. Do you expect me to cope with that?”
They’d abandoned all pretext of discussing anything but themselves. Their relationship. Their future. This must have been what she’d been thinking about, what had made her so melancholy.
“If you wanted to, you could,” he said stubbornly. Elijah’s stomach still churned and his insides chilled. Was there a draft in the cabin
? She wanted to leave him. What he had wasn’t enough. He’d known it would be the case, but it didn’t stop the slicing hurt through his gut.
She stared at him a long moment. Frustration was written across her face, like she was having an internal debate with herself. Elijah held himself still while she came to her decision, not sure if he wanted to hear whatever came next.
“Would you be prepared to risk a child?” Her voice was soft and small, but the words kicked him in the gut. A child.
“Are you…?” he choked, unable to get the rest of the question out. Before she even answered, excitement crept through him, and a feeling of rightness. His child. With her. Their child. It was like a mantra in his head. The image of her round with his child filled him with such a sense of satisfaction it almost felt real.
“I don’t know,” Gia replied, shattering the illusion. But the echo of it remained, imprinted on his soul. “It’s too early to tell. But we’ve been having unprotected sex, so it’s a possibility. Surely you knew that.”
Had he? He supposed so. It hadn’t been so long since he’d been in the world he’d forgotten how children were created. He hadn’t questioned the idea of having children with Gia because it had simply felt right.
Carefully, watching her, he shifted from his armchair and onto the bed beside her. She eyed him warily, but didn’t protest, so he placed his hand over her stomach.
A child. A dream he’d never even dared to have, it was so out of the realm of possibility. But now it was in his grasp, and he wanted it more fiercely than he’d ever wanted anything. Him, Gia, and a baby. A family of his own.
Her hands came up to cradle his over her stomach. His gaze traveled up until their eyes met. Gia gave him a watery smile, but his heart squeezed at her sadness.
“You don’t want a child?” he asked. “Or you don’t want one with me?”
She shook her head, and the squeezing fist on his heart tightened its grip until the organ was nothing but pulp in its hand. But, then, she sighed.
“I want a child. I want your child. And that’s the problem.”
Stranded with the Mountain Man Page 12