‘I had no idea and I’m sure Harry didn’t either. I’m so sorry you lost your daughter like that. My own daughter was badly injured, crippled in fact, and lost her baby the same day, so I can imagine how you feel.’
The woman’s face softened.
‘I’m sorry, Mr Butler. That must have been a dreadful shock too. As for Harry knowing about the baby! Of course he didn’t. As I just explained, he cut off contact of any kind, so in the end Marie decided she had to cope without him. Luckily she had us. But now her father has had a stroke and is severely disabled, brought on, I’m certain, by all that has happened. I’ll have a full-time job looking after him for the rest of his life and I can’t possibly look after the child too. It’s too much at my age and we can’t afford to pay for help. So I’ve brought him to his father. He’ll have to take responsibility for him now and he can certainly afford to get someone to care for him. I’ll miss the little fellow and hope I’ll be allowed to see him sometimes, after all he is my grandson and I do love him. But I want the best for him and I can’t give him that.’
She had tried so hard not to weep but the tears threatened and the lower lip quivered. Milo couldn’t but admire her dignity in very difficult circumstances. Looking at the child he didn’t doubt her story for a second. He was in a state of some shock himself but recovered his composure quickly.
‘Harry must come in and discuss this and I can assure you that any arrangement made will include giving you access to the little boy. Come to think of it he’s my grandson too. What’s his name?’
‘Johnny, after my husband.’
He stooped down beside the chair and spoke to the child.
‘Hello, little Johnny. I’m your other grandpa!’
Puzzled brown eyes looked at him and then the child buried his head in his grandmother’s shoulder.
‘Home, Gangan, home.’
‘He still believes his mother is at home somewhere – toddles around the house calling her. She used to play a game where she hid and he had to find her. Now when he can’t find her he cries and cries for her.’ She couldn’t stop a couple of tears spilling over. ‘I miss her too.’
‘He’s going to find it very hard parting from you and your husband and in such a short space of time after losing his mother. Poor little boy. When Harry is here we’ll have to work out a way to handle this with the minimum of distress for him.’
‘Thank you, Mr Butler, and may I say I don’t understand how a sympathetic and understanding man like you could have produced a son so hard and uncaring as Harry. From Marie’s description of him he seems to care for nothing but himself and enjoying life.’
‘I can’t tell you how sad I am that you see him in this light but in the circumstances I can see why. He’s been a good son to us, one who has given us many reasons to be proud of him. He’s never been anything but kind and considerate to other members of the family too. One thing is certain, he must put right this dreadful wrong insofar as he can.’
Milo called the reception desk and asked that Harry should be sent in immediately he was free. He saw no reason for trying to soften the shock for him. He had brought it all on himself through his almost inhuman behaviour and it had landed on his father out of the blue, something for which he was in no way to blame. For the first time in his life he felt really ashamed of one of his children.
The door opened and Harry came in.
‘You wanted to see me?’
‘Yes, Harry. This lady here is Mrs O’Connell. She actually came here to see you but you weren’t free at the time so I’ve been speaking to her.’
Harry turned and smiled at them rather puzzled. The name was not uncommon and he didn’t make any connection. He barely glanced at the child.
‘Good morning. How can I help?’
He was all charm and pleasantness and Nora O’Connell was incensed. This was not the side he had latterly shown to her daughter, although she could see how he must have originally charmed her off her feet.
‘I’ve come to make arrangements for you to give a home to your child: the child Marie had after you decided you didn’t want to have anything more to do with her. You, of course, having got everything you wanted from her long before he was born.’
Every trace of colour drained from his face. He stood there staring at her and the child, trying to take in the appalling implications of what she had said. She continued:
‘And please don’t try to deny he’s yours. Just take a good look at him and then go and look in a mirror. The only difference is the colour of the eyes. Maybe someone in your family has dark brown eyes? Aside from anything else you were the only man Marie was ever seriously interested in and I’m quite convinced that she had never been intimate with anyone else. She simply wasn’t that kind of girl. Did you know she was only nineteen when you met?’
At last he found his voice. He knew what she had said about Marie was true; she was sexually inexperienced when they had started their relationship. But she had told him she’d been to Belfast and got a supply of the contraceptive pill. What had gone wrong? Just above a whisper he answered her.
‘No. I had no idea. She said she was twenty-four and I believed her. But where is she? Why hasn’t she come here with you?’
‘She hasn’t come with me because she’s dead.’
Now he felt sick.
‘Dead! Oh I’m so sorry – I had no idea. How?’
‘In the explosion in Talbot Street a few weeks ago. Johnny was fourteen months old.’
‘How dreadful for you and poor little Johnny.’ He paused as this all sank in. ‘What can I do to help?’
Thank the good Lord, Milo thought inwardly. He’s going to show that underneath that apparently hard-baked exterior he is at heart a decent human being. Much more like the man we know at home.
Mrs O’Connell explained what she expected Harry to do and why. They spent a long time talking it through and in the end reached agreement that Johnny would go to live at Riverside House. A nanny would be employed to look after him for as long as was necessary. She agreed that, for a short time, the person employed would live in the O’Connell house, even though conditions would be very cramped. This would give Johnny time to get to know and like her before being taken away from his grandparents. To make the transition as easy as possible for him, during this interim period he would be taken to visit Riverside daily, so it and the people there would become familiar to him.
It was also agreed that Mrs O’Connell could visit Johnny without restriction and because this would be difficult for her and impossible for her husband, Johnny would be taken to see them at regular intervals. Nora O’Connell was vastly relieved. She was still angry with Harry and would never forgive him but at least he was trying hard to face up to his responsibilities and had done so without the bluster and denials she had expected. She had come ready for a fight and argument and there hadn’t been any.
Throughout the discussion Johnny, blissfully unaware that his whole future was being decided, had slept peacefully in Nora’s arms, sucking his thumb and clutching his favourite soft toy. Looking down at the little child the hard shell around Harry’s heart, the one he had deliberately developed to protect him from wanting to enter into a serious relationship with any woman, suddenly started to crack. This little boy is my son, he thought; my son and suddenly he was the one close to tears. He had never imagined he could feel such an intense wave of emotion and one quite different from his feelings for his parents and siblings.
‘Would he mind if I held him?’
It was asked rather hesitantly. Nora had watched the different emotions flitting across his face and felt more than ever that she had made the right decision for Johnny. Awful as he had been to her daughter he would care for the child. She was now convinced of that.
‘You can hold him, but since he doesn’t know you he’ll probably cry.’
She passed Johnny gently to him. The child stirred slightly but then nestled into the comfortable, protective arms cradled around
him without waking. The hard shell completely disintegrated and Harry didn’t dare to speak for fear of breaking down completely and making an exhibition of himself.
Looking at Harry’s face Milo felt slightly better. A measure of justice had been done, albeit rather late in the day. However, that evening, with Noola present, he didn’t pull any punches with his son. He had put her in the picture and she was even more appalled than he had been by the whole story. Rarely really angry, Milo was furious and he put his earlier thoughts into words.
‘It’s the first time ever that your mother and I have actually felt deeply ashamed of one of our children. We completely fail to comprehend how you could treat anybody like that. Is there any way in which you can excuse yourself? And please don’t tell us that you’re twenty-nine years old and it’s your life and your business. It has been made our business and especially it’s been made my business. Not only was I completely mortified but my heart went out to that unfortunate and, indeed, courageous woman today who bore all her problems with such dignity.’
Harry made no attempt to justify his actions or offer any excuses. His face was colourless and he looked quite gaunt.
‘I realise there’s no way I can ever apologise adequately to you both but especially to you, Dad, who had to be directly involved today. Thank you for helping to make arrangements for Johnny to come and live here. Would it be easier for you if I moved out and set up my own place, with a nanny for Johnny? I’m prepared to do that. I’m so sorry that you’re ashamed of me, but I can’t blame you. In your shoes I’m sure I’d feel the same way. I’m sad that I’m such a disappointment to you both.’
‘You’re only a disappointment to us in the way you’ve behaved in this matter and in the way you treat women generally. We find your attitude to them appalling. However, in all other ways you’re not a disappointment, and there have been times when we’ve been very proud of you. What’s more, there’s no way we could fault your behaviour and attitude to members of the family.’
‘Thanks, Mum.’
‘As for moving out, there’s no need to do that. We would miss you if you left. I also feel it would be better for Johnny to be here with the rest of us. Just don’t do this to us again.’
‘I promise I won’t, Dad.’
Talking it all through afterwards, Noola expressed a slight concern.
‘I wonder how Sarah will take all this. She’s lost her baby and now another Butler baby will be joining the household. Do you think it will upset her, almost rub salt in the wound of losing her own?’
Milo thought about this new slant on things.
‘A lot will depend on how it’s handled. Living in the East Wing, she won’t have to come into contact with him all that often, especially since he and his nanny will have their own quarters in the old nursery area, on the top floor. But who knows? If she wanted to help out with him from time to time it might be the very thing that will speed up the healing process and compensate her in some small way for her loss. And just think of Maggie’s reaction! Yet another little motherless boy in the house and this time it’s her great-grandson. She may have turned eighty but she’s still very spry and active. I bet she’ll want to be involved!’
‘I’m quite certain she will and don’t forget it makes us grandparents again too. But now you’ll have a little grandson living here and you can teach him to row and other water sports, just as you did your own children. What about that for a thought?’
Milo smiled at her.
‘True, but I wish it hadn’t happened quite the way it did – Sarah’s accident and Marie’s death.’
So Johnny joined the family at Riverside. Harry legally adopted him and in no time at all he became the darling of the entire household and a supreme delight to his father. Harry was a changed man in terms of appreciating the immense joy of having your own family.
Chapter 28
Bill had used the remainder of his official leave helping to watch over and support Sarah during the earlier critical part of her recovery. Being based in Ireland for the moment meant that he was able to return to duty at the official appointed time and still visit her regularly. In fact he spent most of his free time with her. However, after some weeks his commanding officer, noticing how strained he was looking, decided he would regard Bill’s time spent with his traumatised sister as a sort of compassionate leave and suggested he went back to Cyprus to finish his broken holiday there. He agreed readily, and Tommy and Isabel were delighted that they would have a first-hand report on Sarah’s progress.
He arrived on 12 July 1974 just three days before the ruling Greek Military Junta sponsored a coup organised by the new EOKA ‘B’ faction, overthrowing the legitimate Cyprus Government and deposing the Greek Cypriot President, Archbishop Makarios. These extreme right-wing EOKA supporters made particular attacks on any Greek Cypriots who were loyal Makarios supporters or those with strong left-wing sympathies. The Turkish Cypriots were also natural targets. There was no particular panic for those staying in the military bases, but there was considerable alarm. Those with any understanding of the political situation knew well that the mainland Turkish Government wouldn’t stand by and see their fellow Turks in Cyprus wiped out, especially if they called for help.
At that particular moment Tommy, Isabel and family with Bill were enjoying a few days in Famagusta, introducing Bill to the delights of this resort. With its romantic associations it was a favourite haunt for the young couple. They had, of course, been to visit Nick’s fabric shop and, later on, called around by invitation to have an evening meal with the family. Daughter Maria was there, home on holiday from her course of language studies in a college in Oxford. They had had a marvellous evening with a superb meal. They had also had the unmissible visit to Smokey Joe’s, where Isabel and Tommy had become engaged. They little thought that within a few weeks the whole of this community would disintegrate and disappear forever in its existing form, with Famagusta becoming an abandoned and ravaged ghost city.
As soon as the coup occurred Tommy and family with Bill headed back to Akrotiri immediately, “just in case”, and as things turned out this was a wise decision. With his Irish passport and army ID there was no problem allowing Bill through with the family and he had taken the additional precaution of donning his clerical collar with a khaki shirt. He carried these with him wherever he went since there was always a chance he might need them. Tommy returned to full-time duties and the whole military community was on the alert for emergencies or any escalation of the crisis.
As the rumours filtered in about the behaviour of the leaders of the coup, in rounding up and executing people who were their particular targets, worries grew for Cypriot friends and colleagues. Tommy was busy and preoccupied with the emergency, planning strategies for evacuations in the worst-case scenario, and to an extent the whole of the military community became involved, including wives. Bill did his best to help out by entertaining the twins, Lizzie and Vicky, now six years old. This wasn’t difficult for they adored him and were very happy to spend as much time as possible with him. Characteristically for children of that age they subjected him to minute scrutiny. After one such inspection, Lizzie commented on something that hadn’t occurred to him previously.
‘Isn’t it fun, Bill? Our hair is blond and yours is black but we have green eyes just like yours. Daddy and Mummy have blue eyes.’
It was strange and set him thinking. After dinner that evening he and Tommy were having a nightcap together after Isabel had gone to bed. Tommy was tired and they were drinking the brandy sours Cyprus was famous for, so he became quite mellow.
‘Lizzie made an interesting observation earlier today, Tommy. The twins have green eyes. Where do they get them from – are there green eyes in Isabel’s family? Strange thing is they’re such an intense green and exactly like mine.’
Without stopping to think Tommy answered him.
‘Of course they’re just like yours, they’re Lo’s eyes.’
‘Now come on, they
can’t be Dad’s eyes. He inherited them from his mother and you’re in no way related to Granny Rachel. You’ve got your own mother’s very blue eyes.’
Tommy suddenly realised what he had said. There was no way he could backtrack. Bill was looking at him in such an odd way.
‘Okay. Serves me right. That’s what comes of drinking brandy sours when I’m tired! They are his eyes. He’s their real father.’
Bill was dumbstruck.
‘But… how…? Why?’
‘Right. I’ll tell you the whole story but I’m trusting you, totally, never to tell anyone else.’
‘Tommy, I’m a priest. I don’t betray confidences but now I’m intrigued and, knowing you and Dad, I’m certain it’s not what it sounds like on the face of it!’
Tommy smiled at him.
‘No. It was all absolutely above board and completely moral, I promise you.’
So he told him the whole story, which took quite a while. Bill was so surprised but his reaction was not quite the unequivocal forgiveness response that Tommy would have expected from a priest.
‘I’m inclined to agree with Dad. I think it was a dreadful thing for your grandparents to do to you, not to tell you the truth when they realised Bob had such a problem. Surely they must have realised you would worry sick about it, especially getting married. And it shouldn’t have been impossible to get released from an oath in the circumstances. They could have gone back to the orphanage or even written to them and explained the problem. I’m sure they would have released them from their vow of silence, maybe with some conditions.’
‘Well they did eventually tell me, even if a bit late in the day. But it all worked out in the end.’
Bill was silent for a moment then he grinned broadly.
‘As our American friends would say, well whadaya know – I’ve got two more sisters. How lucky that they look so like Isabel! But it’s marvellous that it was all discovered in time for you to have children with an easy mind.’
The House by the Liffey Page 21