“I used to make birthday cakes for the children. They liked flowers all over and I made them with Smarties candy. All colors with yellow centres. But I won’t use Smarties for these flowers. It is a wedding, after all. Once Joseph wanted a bear on his cake and I bought a special little contraption that shoots the icing out just right once you get the hang of it. But I don’t need it to make flowers. We’ll be just fine. This is going to be a nice wedding cake.”
Ginny Mustard is crying as hard as she ever has and for the first time since she was a little girl. She does not want to go to jail. She wants to have a good time with her babies and Joe Snake and all her money. She has never had anything - ever - and now she has everything and has to give it up. It isn’t fair. She had to kill Mr. Miflin. He was a mean man. Other people get to decide all of the time if a person is bad and should be killed or locked away but when she does it she has to pay so dearly. She can’t understand why and Joe Snake can’t explain it so they walk along the river and there is Sarah who invites them in for a cup of tea.
Sarah and Peter live next door to Howard James. Isn’t it strange, thinks Ginny Mustard, how even a small world gets smaller the more time you spend in it. Sarah hears the entire story of Ginny Mustard’s wrongdoing and so does Peter when he comes home from work. And the more she talks the more she realizes that she truly will have to go to prison and may be there for a long time and she can’t stop crying. Ginny Mustard is having the pity party to end all pity parties.
Eventually she gives it up and then there’s just a little whimpering for awhile and soon her eyes are dry and she has a quick game of checkers with Eleanor before she and Joe Snake leave to buy more alcohol for the wedding. By the time they get back to Mrs. Miflin’s house the new cake is cooling and supper is ready and there’s no sign any more that Ginny Mustard was ever upset. Joe Snake is pleased that she broke since he knows you can’t haul pain around for long and the more time you take to let it out the worse it can be for a body. She had as good a howling as he has ever heard and now they can party and start making that baby she wants so badly. And Ginny Mustard has the same notions though not in that order. Whispers to him that she’d like to spend the night at his place if it’s okay. And when their meal is done they leave. Quickly. Laughing. Mrs. Miflin watching from her chair by the window sees them pause under the street light. Kiss. She spits as hard as she can at the glass but it sprays back into her face at the very moment Ginny Mustard looks up and waves.
The real estate agent is thrilled to list Mrs. Miflin’s house. Puts his sign on the front lawn. Says it’s probably a waste of time since houses like this one are going like hotcakes right now. Lots of come-from-aways are moving in and they’re always looking for a big old place to put another bed and breakfast. In fact, Mrs. Miflin should raise her asking price as far as he’s concerned. It’s way below the going rate. He measures every inch of the house no small feat but he has an assistant and now he’s off to call some prospective buyers. Of course, it would be easier to show if there weren’t so many tenants all over the place. Might Mrs. Miflin ask them to leave when he brings his clients around? She assures him there’ll be no problem getting them out. Just say the word and give her an hour’s notice.
Howard James is invited to the wedding as well and if there were some other way to reach Ms. Blake he would never consider attending such a gathering. But hard as he tries his old secretary will not see him and he has many questions about the running of his operation that only she, it seems, can answer. He hasn’t had a decent cup of coffee since she left. If he can just corner her for a few minutes, beg her to come back or at least train the new one, half of his troubles will be over. There’s no way he will bring a date though, and the woman he has been seeing lately is pissed to find that they won’t be spending Saturday together and he can’t tell her why. If he had any sense he would make something up because Rachel is not dealing with a full deck but he can’t see around corners, poor man, can’t even see what’s staring him right in the face. Oh well. Serves him right. He wasn’t very nice to Ginny Mustard, after all, and one mustn’t spend too much time worrying about him.
Ginny Mustard and Joe Snake wake in a delicious tangle of limbs and warm skin. The best sleep, it was. Worn out bone tired honest and now their bodies feel like jelly. If they roll to the edge of the bed they will go over in a heap - none of their extremities will bother to stiffen to catch them, hold them from hitting the floor. So they stay in a knot for as long as they can. Until Ginny Mustard gets hungry. Until Joe Snake says, “Let’s go out for a quiet breakfast. This is going to be one hell of a day. We’d best be fortified.”
After that it’s pretty much a blur, time being what it is, a mad rush, and no hot water after the third or fourth shower, but all are dressed and shining before too long and there’s a lot of old furniture piled up outside Mrs. Miflin’s bedroom door to keep her from doing any more damage while they are away from the house.
Old Father Delaney is in misery with such a motley crowd filling up his church. Is flustered and impatient throughout the ceremony until Joe Snake fixes him with dark eyes and he slows down. Manages to sound, if not loving and kind, at least respectful and those not used to being treated with more than contempt, which would be the majority present, think it a wonderful wed-ding altogether.
The reception is more than anyone needs and will keep them cozy until spring. Dorrie Blake is having a good time with her pretty policeman when she can get away from Howard James. The Pagan twins are arguing points of faith, which they had sworn they wouldn’t but there are so many statues in that house there is no avoiding the topic. Martha is a true believer and Mary isn’t and they have been fighting tooth and nail since Mary discovered quite by accident from a teacher who was fired as soon as the words were out of his mouth, that there is a theory of evolution. They are seventy now and still dress the same so there’s no telling them apart until they get started.
Judy is drinking vodka as though her very life depends on it, keeping as much distance between herself and the cops as she can. Eve is serving tray after tray of food. It’s loaves and fishes with no sign that the larder will ever be empty. Maggie has latched on to the good-looking son of one of the policemen, who came by to pick up his father’s car and decided to stay when Maggie smiled at him which makes Judy jealous so she calls Jimmy to come over and don’t bring any dope for fuck sake.
Joe Snake brought the music - mostly Big Bands - loud -everybody dance music - and if the adults for two blocks around weren’t already at Mrs. Miflin’s house there might be some complaining. The only ones who aren’t real happy are the kids who didn’t sneak out for the night. The ones stuck babysitting the little ones. Artie Shaw and his ilk aren’t their favourites and even with the windows closed they can’t hear anything else.
Come midnight someone says wouldn’t it be nice if Ginny Mustard and Joe Snake opened their wedding gifts so we can all see what they got. Then someone else says let’s play charades and we’ll act out our favorite presents and knee deep in wrapping paper and ribbons, they do, and Lulu Crummy pees in her pants she’s laughing that hard.
Mrs. Miflin made it to a telephone at one point and called the cops to complain about the noise and when they got there they joined the game for a few minutes because Officer Hutton likes charades more than just about anything and can never find anyone who wants to play since his wife started calling ahead when they go to parties and telling the host to say no to his suggestions. He is very good at guessing and even better at pantomime and does a great job on a very heavy cake platter that no one else picked.
Patrick and the other policeman have given the newlyweds two nights in the fanciest hotel in the city which should delay their discussion of where to live by a few hours anyway and that’s where, on the softest sheets, Sweet Polly is conceived, and if love and comfort and good feelings starting out can have any influence on a person as she grows, then surely Sweet Polly is blessed.
Before Crazy Rachel comes i
n and before she stabs Howard James a few times and before the wonderful party disintegrates, Sweet Polly has a good grip on life that she won’t release for a hundred years.
When Crazy Rachel waltzes through the door no one thinks much of it. They are packed in like sardines with overflow dancing in the backyard and on the front porch and another body is hardly cause for notice. Only Patrick pays her any mind. Says to himself, it’s not often you see a woman in a floor length fur coat these days, and turns away for a moment before his second thought - she’s a loon for sure from the look in her eyes - brings him to attention. By then it is too late. Crazy Rachel asks Judy where Howard James is, who tells her and wishes her good luck with that knife thinking serves him right for sending Ginny Mustard away with a crappy little CD player and never being nice to her again. There is blood all over the place before Patrick moves to follow her. Guests are hollering and a couple spill their drinks. Some get little drops of blood on their clothes which will never come out but will make for fond memories of a good time in later years. Holly Bartlett - who is very large and takes up more than her fair share of space - falls backwards on to a table, crushing Joe Snake’s CD player beyond recognition. The sudden silence is huge. Nothing left but Crazy Rachel’s laughter and one of the Fagen twins praying. Fifteen of Her Majesty’s Constabulary are in attendance and snap to their duty all over the Crazy Rachel except for Constable Brothers who has the good sense to dial 911 and get an ambulance over before Howard James bleeds to death.
Ruth says, “It’s good the bride and groom left when they did. This would put a damper on the honeymoon for sure.”
The party continues after that but with a little less enthusiasm since several of the good looking policemen leave to file reports on this most recent disaster in Mrs. Miflin’s house, though a few of them do come back afterwards. Dorrie does her best to be upset but finds it difficult to feel much for Howard James. Is more bothered by her young man’s leaving so suddenly. She watches at the sitting room window until his return. When the police come back with their yellow tape they cordon only the kitchen as a crime scene after the merry makers move the microwave oven and the tasties to the Barbie room along with what remains of the alcohol and some ice.
You might suppose that a near murder in the kitchen would make people think twice about buying your house but after the place has been cleaned up there comes an offer that Mrs. Miflin can’t refuse. A couple from away who have been looking for just such a mansion in the city with the lowest crime rate in the country, wanting to raise their children where nothing ever happens, buy it sight unseen and start packing before the ink is dry on Mrs. Miflin’s signature.
Cheerfully she gathers her tenants and tells them to be out within two weeks, that’s all the notice they are getting and there’s no use in begging because the house is sold and she doesn’t care where they go but they can’t stay here. And Eve in her garden with winter just a few degrees away sits under the lilac and that’s where they find her late in the day, a smile on her face and her body cold, a hedgehog curled and sleeping in the big pocket of her overalls.
Her quiet passing leaves them lonely but for her gentleness that seems to have remained and shares itself among them in direct proportion to what each needs with enough left over to fill the house. Soften it. Except for Mrs. Miflin’s room with a blanket rolled up and stuffed under the door to keep the noise out and her grumbling in.
Judy covers her grave with Eve’s favorite plants from the garden. There has been no hard frost yet and the daisies, black-eyed Susan, wallflower, lamb’s ears give way easily, happily. Maggie wants to plant some crocuses and so they do. Dozens of little bulbs carefully, gently. They settle over Eve’s bones and thrive.
Moving out of Mrs. Miflin’s house goes smoothly, as though Eve were still there saying, “Why don’t you make two trips with that load, Ruth, it looks so heavy,” and “Judy, check and see if Dorrie needs help taking her Barbie cases apart, she seems to be having a hard time with them,” and they get through with few mishaps.
Patrick wants Ruth to come live with him but she has other ideas. One day she dresses herself up neat as a pin, takes a bus over to Zellers and gets a job just like that because they are hiring for the Christmas rush and need anyone they can get their hands on. Then she finds an apartment so tiny that no one else wants it, signs a one-year lease and goes to the second-hand furniture store where she buys a bed and a chair and a lamp. She lets Patrick help with delivery. That service is extra.
Judy and Maggie have nagged Children’s Aid to please let them live together since Judy has been so good lately and though she is technically a minor and they aren’t supposed to allow it, they give in after a visit from Patrick who says he will keep an eye on her. The girls are not having much luck finding a place until Ginny Mustard tells Joe Snake that they will be pregnant soon if they aren’t already and must have a real home. Buys an old house on Caine’s Street - there is no other kind, really - that needs work but with a ground floor apartment she rents to the girls for next to nothing if they promise to baby-sit when Joe Snake goes back to school because he says he needs his Master’s if he’s ever to find a teaching position and raise their child properly.
Dorrie alone is lost. No job. No place to live. Plenty of savings to keep her but things could get boring now that she has tasted life. She figures that since Zellers hired Ruth they might take her as well. She is right about that but much too qualified for her dream job in the toy department and they want to stick her in an office at a computer. She puts up a good fight and wins. The Barbie display has never looked better. Mothers ferociously opposed to allowing their daughters to own the little doll find themselves saying, “Yes, I’ll take that one and maybe the dress with the sequins and what the heck, throw in a package of those accessories too,” when Dorrie works her magic. For the first time in history the store has to re-order supplies twice before the rush is over.
And what of Mrs. Miflin? Truth be told she’s not as jolly as she had expected to be. None of the tenants is very upset. In fact, she distinctly heard someone humming outside her bedroom even through the blankets stuffed under the door. She is the only one with nowhere to go and it’s two days left before the new owners arrive. Her bank account is full to overflowing and she sits by the window and stares at the empty trees, at their witch finger branches clutching the sky, grey above the cooling earth.
Ginny Mustard knows before the jury gives its verdict that she is growing a baby. She feels taller than she really is and as big as all outdoors and has the wonderful sensation that if she stretches her arms just so far and touches finger tips together lightly they will envelop the world and all that’s in it. So, of course, she knows and is looking around to tell Joe Snake when she hears guilty and a ruckus behind her as people say no and that’s not fair and someone is crying. And the bad news isn’t as bad as the good news is good so she just stands there smiling and only Joe Snake guesses why.
Fred the real estate agent is upset. Inspecting the house for progress he finds Mrs. Miflin sitting by the window. “You only have a day to move everything out. I thought I made that quite clear. Have you arranged for someone to take your things to your new place?” Mrs. Miflin turns her head to look through him and now he’s really worried. She says, “There is no new place. I have nowhere to go. All I ever wanted was this house and I worked hard and saved my money so I could have it. And it’s only because of that crowd I had to sell it. I changed my mind. I don’t want to go.” Exasperated, Fred explains that she must. The house has been sold. “You’ve done quite well, Mrs. Miflin. If you like I can find you a lovely place right now. Smaller than this one. Easier to look after. We can arrange to auction some of your furniture. You can be in a nice renovated home in this area almost immediately. I can put a rush on everything and you’d only have to be in a hotel for a week or so.” But she is not listening. Stares again out the window.
Ginny Mustard’s prison is comfortable and practically empty of criminals b
ut with guards enough to keep it looking like a going concern. There’s a craft room and a library and TV area that a few kind souls contributed through numerous bake sales and raffles and for a few hours a day the inmates are allowed to read or watch the soaps or whip up a potholder for Mom’s birthday present.
Ella lives in the cell next door where she recently found Jesus, spends much time on her knees begging forgiveness for poisoning her husband. Across from her is Janey who threw her baby out the window and mostly she rocks back and forth with her head on her arms and cries. Down a way is Becky Norris whom Ginny Mustard remembers from her days on the street, who cut off a customer’s private parts but only because he begged her to and paid her a goodly sum for doing it. His wife was pissed as much by the money he spent as by the physical damage and talked him into changing his mind so he said Becky came up with the idea all on her own.
Ginny Mustard faces two years under lock and key with a chance for parole in twelve months. No one knows why the judge was so lenient but it might have had something to do with the length of time it took the jury to come up with a decision which was a full two weeks until they were fed up and life beckoned. Mr. Oldford’s son wasn’t studying for his exams and Mrs. Lockyer just knew her husband was spending too much on Christmas this year with her not there to keep him in check so one by one they went over to the guilty side though some of them felt real bad about it for years after.
Visiting days are every other Saturday and the big holidays which is just as well with the prison being a two-hour drive from the city. Joe Snake has to buy a car since the bus doesn’t get there until late afternoon. Before Ginny Mustard settles in one of the guards brings a list of jobs to see which one she wants so she works in the kitchen, cleaning pots and pans and chopping vegetables for soup. In the library she discovers that Becky can read and for a carton of smokes a week will teach her to do the same. She’s having a rough go of it. Nothing makes sense but Becky gets her smokes anyway.
Bishop's Road Page 14