by Julie Blair
“I have good news for you. I’m going to get you those EOBs.”
“How long?”
“A couple of weeks.”
Carla clenched the receiver. “That’s great.” She forced cheerfulness into her voice. Yesterday she would have been thrilled. After last night all she wanted was to be far away from Jamie and her problems.
*
Jamie let the hot water sluice over her back as she bent her head forward to rinse the shampoo from her hair. She indulged in a few more minutes of the gloriously hot water, moving her shoulders around to loosen the knots in her traps. Maybe Sheryl would come home before her meeting. She tried to remember the last time they’d showered together.
“Are you almost done? I need to freshen my makeup and the mirror’s all fogged.”
Jamie opened the shower door. “I was just thinking about you. I’ll be out in a minute. Unless you want to join me?”
“No.” Sheryl pulled makeup jars from the drawers.
Jamie shut the door and turned the faucet to cold, bracing herself for the shock. She was shivering when she stepped onto the bath mat and wrapped a towel around her. Sheryl put a dab of one of her hair products on her palms and stroked it through her hair. “You look good with short hair.” She did, but Jamie missed the shoulder-length waves she loved to sift through.
“Thanks.”
Jamie dried off as she watched Sheryl apply blush to cheeks that already looked rosy. For all the job stress, Sheryl always looked fresh. She hung the towel on the bar and wrapped her arms around Sheryl’s waist. Sheryl outlined a lid with eyeliner. It was a mystery to Jamie how she drew such a perfect line. “I love watching you put on makeup.” She rubbed Sheryl’s belly in a slow circle and then undid the button under her fingers.
“You’ll make me smudge.”
“I’d like to do more than that.” Jamie slid her hand inside the silk blouse. Sheryl’s skin was soft and warm. Jamie’s pulse quickened. “Ten years and I’m still attracted to you,” she whispered in Sheryl’s ear.
“I don’t have time, Jamie.”
“Not even for a kiss?”
“I’m running late.” Sheryl twisted a lipstick tube and puckered her lips as she applied the dark-red lipstick.
“Just a kiss.” The edge of pleading in Jamie’s voice matched the panic that reared up from the back of her mind. She was owned by the notion that there was a magic moment when they would reconnect, that the right gesture or the right thing she said would undo their growing separation. What was that right thing? What if this were the moment?
Sheryl turned, and Jamie slid her arms around her shoulders and kissed her. Hadn’t it been a kiss that shifted them from friends to lovers on that long-ago New Year’s Eve? Sheryl’s lips were cool from the lipstick. Jamie tried to draw her into the kiss, like opening a door and hoping Sheryl would walk through it. When she ran her fingers through Sheryl’s hair she stiffened. She could hear the unspoken words, “Don’t mess my hair.” She covered Sheryl’s hands that were braced on the vanity. Not that long ago Sheryl would have lifted herself onto the vanity and wrapped her legs around her. Desperate to ignite a spark between them, Jamie slid her tongue into Sheryl’s mouth. It was warm and tasted of the cinnamon gum she chewed. “Mmm,” Jamie said in her throat. She waited for Sheryl to deepen the kiss.
“I’ve gotta go.” She turned back to the mirror, reapplied lipstick, then sprayed perfume toward her throat.
Jamie stepped back from the stinging scent, another missed opportunity drenching her with disappointment. “Why don’t you come by after your meeting? We’re having dinner at Maggiano’s. They have a nice bar. We could have a drink, talk.” Maybe that would be the moment they looked in each other’s eyes and time stopped and…Sheryl kissed her cheek, and was gone, only the bite of her perfume left.
Jamie stared at the jars and tubes of makeup spread across the counter. She picked up a round tub and read the label. Face cream. She’d always loved Sheryl’s femininity. Opening it, she rubbed some into her cheek, cool and slippery on her skin.
Jamie pulled dove-gray linen pants from a hanger and chose a dark-blue sweater, not her usual business attire. Her staff teased her about her preppy style of dress—pleated pants and Oxford shirts. She’d heard a practice-management guru comment once that doctors should wear long sleeves so their patients couldn’t see their tan arms and assume they were leading lives of luxury and leisure at their expense. Jamie had laughed, but it made her think about the image she wanted to portray. She never wore a white clinic coat like her father because it hindered her mobility when adjusting and she didn’t have a stethoscope draped around her neck that signified “doctor.” Wearing tailored pants and long-sleeved shirts that looked professional in a slightly masculine style was her way of establishing a “doctor” look.
Standing in front of the full-length mirror, she adjusted the V-neck sweater over her shoulders. She fingered the pendant she never took off, a diamond set in a gold star, a gift from her mom on her eighteenth birthday just months before she died. “You’ll always be my star,” the card read. Am I still your star, Mom? Tears stung her eyes. Her mom had been gone longer than she’d been a chiropractor. All the talks that last summer about dreams and following your heart. She’d known she wouldn’t be around. Jamie shook off the sadness. Tonight was about Betty.
*
Jamie rested her forearms on the rounded edge of the bar and wrapped her fingers around the tumbler of Glenlivet, listening to nearby conversations—the dramas of boyfriend problems, a forgotten anniversary, money wasted on a bad concert.
Dinner was great fun, and Jamie had made a point of being upbeat because she knew her staff was worried about her. Betty had cried over Jamie’s parting gift—a gold charm bracelet with charms she’d chosen to remind Betty of her days in the clinic. Sara and Don had joined her at the bar for one drink, but she’d been on her own for the last hour. She felt guilty for being relieved Carla hadn’t come. She didn’t want to meet her husband.
She’d known Sheryl wouldn’t show up. How many meetings would it take for her to get that promotion? She found morose satisfaction in sitting here, playing the jilted lover. It was melodramatic and Jamie was never melodramatic. She was the strive to be better, stay after practice to throw just a few more pitches type; the work hard six days a week for twenty years type; the never leave dirty dishes in the sink type. Responsible and hardworking all her life, but what had it gotten her? She left the last of the Scotch she’d been nursing. She was the responsible type who didn’t drive drunk; the loyal type who went home to a partner who seemed more distant each day.
Sheryl was already in bed. Jamie put on her favorite plaid boxers, the waistband comfortably stretched out. She lay on her back, willing Sheryl to reach out and pull her close. Sheryl stirred but didn’t wake. She was inches from the woman she loved. It might as well be a mile.
Chapter Twelve
“Thank you,” Carla said to the plumber, who’d agreed to come as soon as he could and unclog the sink in the break room. She set the phone down and checked the time. Two more hours and she could go home. She’d go look at new bedroom furniture this weekend. Monday morning she’d tell Jamie she couldn’t keep the job. She heard someone walk behind the front counter.
“Hey, Betty.” It wasn’t a voice she recognized.
“Be nice to me. It’s my last day,” Betty said.
“So I heard. Who’s taking over?”
Carla stepped out of her office. “That would be me.” She froze, staring at the blonde with the tousled hair, cut shorter, but unmistakably the woman in the picture—Jamie’s partner. Her pulse went into overtime as she said, “Carla Grant. New office manager.” The blue eyes took her measure in a gaze that was piercing, almost edgy. Possessive.
“Penni Morgan. Best friend.”
“Excuse me?” Was that some lesbian term for a partner?
“Which part? Penni Morgan or best friend?”
“Carla, this is Jamie
’s best friend.” Betty wrapped her arm around Penni’s waist.
Carla gripped the doorframe as the pieces fell into place. Best friend. That meant…Jamie didn’t have a partner or she would have a picture of her on the desk. “A pleasure to meet you,” Carla said, shaking Penni’s hand as her heart leapt into her throat. She was sure a silly grin was plastered to her face, but she didn’t care.
Jamie set a file on the front counter. “Aren’t you a little early?” she asked the older couple sitting in the waiting room.
“We finished at the store sooner than we thought,” the man said. “We’re happy to sit here and read. We love your new magazines.” He held up Bon Appetit and his wife held up Sunset.
“When did we—”
“I brought them in,” Carla said, all thoughts of quitting gone.
“Um, good idea. Thanks.”
“What’s up, Doc?” Penni wrapped her arm around Jamie’s shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. “Time for a haircut,” she said, ruffling Jamie’s hair. “And time to lose the gray. I’m not ready to give in to middle age yet, and I don’t want to be outed by association.”
Carla watched this exchange with amusement. Anyone who treated Jamie that way and got her to smile was someone she wanted to know. A little boy who looked too much like Penni to be anyone but her son ran up and wrapped his arms around Jamie’s waist.
“Aunt Jamie, Tommy said I was lying when I said I get my back cracked.”
“Well, we can’t have that,” Jamie said, placing her hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I’ll bet if we ask real nice, Carla could print out a certificate that says you survived getting your back cracked. Would that work?”
Carla’s heart fluttered in triple time when Jamie looked at her and winked.
“Yeah. Cool,” Travis said.
“Don’t pay attention to anything Penni tells you,” Jamie said over her shoulder to Carla. “She pushes the limits of her best-friend status.”
Carla couldn’t stop smiling as she watched Jamie and Penni disappear around the corner. She had to delete the layout for Travis’s certificate twice before she got it right. Jamie didn’t have a partner. Her pulse was tripping all over itself with excitement. She frowned. How did one go about…what…asking her boss out? Trying to get her attention so she’d do the asking? God, she was so not prepared for dating. Carla looked up from her desk. Penni was studying her from the doorway.
“You’re gonna take good care of the doc, right?” Fierce blue eyes pinned her.
“You have my word.”
“Right answer. Got plans this weekend, new office manager?”
“Why?”
“We’re having a birthday party tomorrow for my wife, Lori. The big four oh. This is your official invitation.”
“Sounds like fun.” Carla hoped she wasn’t blushing. Jamie would be there. “When and where?”
“Saratoga Springs. On Highway 9.”
“I know where it is.”
“Any time after noon and no presents”
“I’ll be there.” Carla flew through the rest of the afternoon. Her weekend had just got a whole lot better than shopping for bedroom furniture.
Chapter Thirteen
That tingly feeling erupted in her belly, like little sparks, as Carla walked from the parking lot to the entrance of Saratoga Springs, a private park nestled in the forest in the Santa Cruz Mountains. She’d been here several times for Mike’s company picnics. She followed two women holding hands, and a fresh flurry of sparks erupted. Would she be walking out hand in hand with Jamie? Could it be that easy? It’d worked out for Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks after he admitted who he was, she reminded herself. Too excited to sleep and hopelessly addicted to romantic comedies and happy endings, she’d stayed up late watching You’ve Got Mail, one of her favorites. If she told Jamie about that night, would she remember?
Inside the entrance, she searched the map on the board for Redwood Grove picnic area. The sounds of people having fun drifted up in waves from areas she couldn’t see. She tucked her hair behind her ears, wishing it hadn’t been three weeks since her last cut and highlight, and tugged on the topaz earrings she’d picked to go with her sleeveless yellow blouse. It was a good color on her. Khaki shorts would show off her legs, toned from running. She was pretty sure Jamie liked athletic-looking women.
She inhaled the scent of sun and dirt and redwood trees as she followed several teenagers across a bridge over the stream that wound through the canopy of redwoods and oaks. The girl pushed both her male companions into the ankle-high water and raced off, laughing, the boys in close pursuit. Fingering the Kleenex in her pocket she wondered if the day would end with her crying after Jamie took her in her arms and kissed her. A jolt of desire shot from her center like fireworks and flowed lazily down her limbs. Happy endings.
Carla crossed her fingers for luck as she reached the end of the path. Standing in a patch of sun breaking through the trees, she searched for Jamie among the fifty or so women mingling around picnic tables. Her body hummed with excitement. The rest of her life she’d have the freedom to be around lesbians. Maybe she’d meet some women she could be friends with. If she was going to build a new life, she wanted more than a girlfriend. Her breath caught in her throat. Girlfriend. Only one woman fit that bill, and she didn’t see her anywhere.
*
Jamie checked the map of the park on the board by the entrance. She’d never been here, but it was beautiful, with a swimming pool, volleyball court, playground, and half-a-dozen private picnic areas. The atmosphere reminded her of an amusement park—crowded and noisy but everyone having fun. A couple stopped to check the map, while holding the hands of little girls that looked to be twins. Tired from work and staying up late, she was glad Penni had told her about the pool. A quick swim would relax her before socializing.
Jamie took the path to the pool on the opposite side of the park from the picnic areas. It ended at a large rectangular pool surrounded by grass and ringed with redwoods and oaks that reached up to a sapphire-blue sky. Kicking off her tennis shoes and stripping down to her suit, she tossed her shorts and Polo shirt on the grass and flopped onto a chaise. Kids played in the pool and women sat along the edge, talking as they kept their eyes on them. Work stress slipped away as the sun relaxed her. Her phone rang and she pulled it out of the pocket of her shorts. “Are you coming?”
“No,” Sheryl said. “I got busy reading a new study on curriculum development that just came out. Have you seen my diamond earrings?”
“On the counter in the bathroom behind your makeup jars.” Jamie’s excitement faded. Don’t push too hard, she cautioned herself. She’d talked Sheryl into staying home last night, and their easy conversation over a romantic dinner reminded Jamie of how they used to be. A movie in bed and a lot of kissing and snuggling had loosened some of the worry. “Lori would love it if you came.”
“The invitation was addressed to you.”
Jamie’s jaw tightened but she kept her voice calm. “You know it was for both of us.”
“I’ve got errands to run later. Besides, you’ll have more fun without me.”
Shopping. “That’s not true.”
Penni waved and knelt to talk to Travis before he walked to the edge of the pool and dove in. Patience, Jamie reminded herself. “I’ll be home for dinner.” She tucked the phone back in her shorts.
“I figured I’d find you here.” Penni took the chaise next to Jamie. “I’d point out that the wicked witch boycotted in spite of the fact I called her, but my wife made me promise I wouldn’t pick on you today.”
Sheryl had left out that part, but there was no point letting it upset her. “Lucky me.” Jamie stretched her arms over her head and then behind her, interlocking her fingers. “Remember the pool at the West Coast Women’s Music Festival?”
“What made you think of that?”
“The setting. All the trees.”
“Except that pool was filled with naked women.” Penni waggled her eyebrows
and rubbed her palms together.
“You’re such a lesbian.”
“Remember hanging out up in the Castro on Sunday afternoons—”
“Dancing our asses off, picking up babes.” Life had been easy and fun back then. Now it was just a lot of work. “Do you realize we’ve known each other over half our lives?” Jamie waved to two women who were part of the group she and Sheryl used to go out with. One was a massage therapist whom she referred patients to. She should make an appointment. “Lori like her present?”
“Oh, my God. I should have videoed it and put it on YouTube. She actually did a back flip…always the gymnast.” Penni’s grin devoured her cheeks. “She’s wanted to go on one of those Olivia cruises for years.”
“Me, too.”
“So, why don’t you?”
“Maybe some day. I’m trying to get Sheryl to go to Hawaii for our anniversary.”
Penni snorted. “Not enough malls there.”
“Be nice or I’ll tell Lori you broke your promise. Back in a sec.” Jamie walked to the pool, dove in, and did several laps across the pool and back, winding her way around kids. She surfaced and shook the water from her face before swimming over to Travis. She sent him up in the air to an ear-piercing war whoop and then swam to the edge where Penni was sitting with her feet dangling in the water. She splashed water on the concrete edge to cool it and then hoisted herself up next to her.
“Your new office manager seems nice.”
“She’s great with insurance billing.” Jamie kept her tone nonchalant. She didn’t need Penni finding out who Carla was. The sun was glorious; the water was a perfect temperature; she and Sheryl were going to be fine. Nothing could ruin this day.
“I’m going to go find my wife. Keep an eye on Travis?”
Jamie shielded her eyes with her hand and looked at Penni. She had a strange look on her face. “Sure.”
“And by the way, your office manager is over there.”