CHAPTER THREE
KARISE WAS PRETTY SURE that as long as she lived, she would never forget the look on William’s face when she placed his ring back in his hand. She’d gone home expecting a frantic boyfriend, a lecture, or at least a stern look. Instead, she had to call to wake him up so she could get in. He’d been confused but mostly put out over being roused before he was ready. After opening the door for her, he’d kissed her cheek and gone back to bed, leaving Karise alone with her thoughts. She tried showering to get her mind off it. With the warm water spilling over her, the tears unleashed. By the time her skin was pink from the heat of the shower and the well of tears had run dry, Karise had come to the conclusion that her mental break the night before was a serious red flag; she wasn’t ready to marry anyone. She certainly didn’t have any business marrying William Addison, however perfect his name might be.
Unfortunately, that decision led to a slew of other decisions to be made. Her life was deeply entangled with William’s. If they broke up, that left her with no house, no job, and no direction. She’d have been lying to herself if she hadn’t admitted to entertaining the idea of staying and pretending the past eight hours had never happened. Hell, if she was pretending, she might as well wipe away the past 12 hours so she could forget Aidan entirely.
Even as she toyed with the idea, she brushed it aside as both impossible and entirely unfair to all involved. William deserved a woman who loved him fully, and Karise now knew that wasn’t her. He deserved a faithful wife – another failing of hers. And now that she knew there were kisses like the one she’d just experienced out there, there was no going back to adequate.
Karise dressed carefully, as if looking her best could do something to mend how she felt inside. As she worked the brush through her riot of loose curls, she paused mid-stroke to analyze her reflection. She had the same thick, dark hair as her brother and sister. She shared the same toffee colored eyes. Her complexion was the giveaway that their lineage wasn’t entirely the same – Karise had her father’s caramel skin. She peered closer at the reflection, wondering if her similarity to Victoria McAlister was more than skin deep.
Once she’d cleaned up, Karise made breakfast. By the time William roused for the second time, he was greeted by coffee, orange juice, waffles, and a selection of fruit. As she straightened his placemat, she wondered if a well-set table could really soften the fact that she was getting ready to rip his heart out. Well, one could hope. Karise crinkled her nose and gave the placemat one last pat before grabbing the coffee.
She worked through it in her mind, what she’d say, how she’d start. Yes, William was overbearing at times. He treated her like a child on a good day and a possession on a bad one. But he was a human being with feelings, and he’d had all of the aforementioned flaws when she’d agreed to marry him. Karise was so intent on her internal lecture that she started when he entered the kitchen.
He smiled at her, kissing her on the cheek as he swiped his coffee mug out of her hand. Karise wondered when he’d stopped kissing her on the mouth. Had he ever made her toes curl? She couldn’t remember.
“Apology accepted.”
Karise cocked her head, her forehead crinkled. “Excuse me?”
“This is an apology for running off at the gallery last night, isn’t it?”
“Why should I apologize to you? Why aren’t you apologizing for not noticing I was gone – for an hour? Why aren’t you apologizing for brushing off some really nice people?”
“Nice people? Yes, that’s exactly what I thought about the rock star in jeans. He looked like he wanted to have you as a late night snack.”
“He’s not a rock star. He’s an artist,” she snapped, then paused for a moment, both pleased that someone else had noticed the look and thinking it wouldn’t be entirely bad to be Aidan’s late night snack.
William’s sneer made her stomach knot. “An artist, is it? Maybe you’re more like your mother than you want the world to think.”
Karise sucked in a deep breath, briefly debating throwing the entire plate of waffles at his head. With great control, she forged ahead. “They were nice, and they mattered to me. That should mean something to you.”
“That they were nice?”
Karise ran her hands through her hair, holding onto her head to keep it from exploding. “That they mattered to me.”
“Oh. So you made breakfast so I’d care more about what matters to you?”
“I don’t want to marry you.” The words tumbled out on their own accord.
William didn’t miss a beat. “We could take your friends to dinner sometime. Just not the artist. I draw the line there.”
“Thank you, William, but you’re not listening to me. I don’t want to marry you. I can’t.”
“The invitations have already been sent.”
Karise guessed she shouldn’t be surprised that his first concern was invitations. “For what we pay her, the wedding planner can un-send them.”
“What will people think?”
“That it’s better to find out now than two months from now?” She wanted to scream.
“What about work?”
“I don’t know,” Karise admitted. “I get it. I know it’s your dad’s company; I’ll leave quietly. Maybe I’ll ask Devon for a job when I see him at lunch.”
“You’re that desperate to be rid of me?” Hurt laced his voice, causing a flash of sympathy to replace Karise’s ire.
“No. I’m that desperate to figure out where I’m supposed to be.”
“And you’re certain you can’t try to figure that out with me?” He persisted.
“I lose myself in us.” Karise didn’t know she meant the words until they came out. As soon as they had, she knew that was the true root of her discontent.
Those words hung in the air between them.
Something ugly descended over William’s handsome features. “Why now? Is it the guy? He wasn’t the only one looking; don’t think I didn’t notice.”
“He wasn’t the cause. Just a symptom.”
“So there is something there.”
“No. Yes. No. I mean, I did kiss him, but I don’t know him. Wow, that sounds really bad.”
“You kissed him?” Karise had never heard William roar before. She hadn’t realized he was capable of it. “When? At the gallery?”
“No.” Karise felt very small as she uttered the next words. “In his hotel room this morning. But that sounds so much worse than it is.”
“I don’t think I want to know.”
“I locked myself out last night when I went for a walk. We bumped into each other on the street. I didn’t want to wake you up.”
“So you went to a complete and total stranger’s instead of calling me?”
She folded her arms and leaned back against the counter. “You’re yelling.”
“Of course I’m yelling.”
“Doesn’t it say anything to you that I thought my better option was the stranger? Am I the only one who thinks that’s a problem?”
The conversation went round and round until Karise realized that no matter what she said, William wasn’t going to understand she wasn’t leaving him for or because of Aidan. She was leaving him because they didn’t fit – though he didn’t need to know Aidan was the one to first make that observation. So she handed him back his ring with one last apology and a promise she’d be back that evening to pick up her things.
Lunch with Devon was still an hour away, but Karise couldn’t bear being in the apartment. She killed time by wandering around Boston Commons, allowing the sunshine and crisp air to soothe her troubled spirit. Her life had done a complete 180 in the past 24 hours, and she was struggling to process it all.
Despite her resistance to claiming him, Karise had to admit she was relieved to see Devon seated and waiting on her when she arrived at Charlie’s Sandwich Shoppe for their date. When she neared, he rose to greet her with a warm hug. Karise surprised herself by responding with equal warmth.
“Marriage is agreeing with you, Devon. You look more handsome than ever, and I didn’t know that was possible.” It wasn’t flattery; Karise meant every word. He was a ridiculously handsome man with a ready smile and a good heart. If she were to acknowledge a brother, he was a good one to have.
“I wish I could say the same for you.” He eyed her as they sat down.
Karise frowned. “That hit me where I live.”
“That’s not what I meant. You’re as lovely as ever, but you look troubled. What’s wrong?”
“No pleasantries first?” Karise grasped. She wasn’t ready to say it out loud.
“Of course. Pleasantries it is. How’s William?”
“Damn it, Devon.”
“Wrong pleasantry?”
“I broke off the engagement.”Karise motioned to the waitress for some coffee.
“When?”
“An hour ago?”
Devon leaned back, her words sinking in. “Oh. Wow. In that case, you seem amazingly calm.”
“Thanks.”
“What happened?”
“We didn’t fit.”
“Care to explain?”
That was all the prodding Karise needed to spill every detail of the past day, barely pausing to place her order. Devon took her hand in his, listening quietly with a sympathetic expression on his face. It felt so good to have someone to talk to – the closest thing she had to friends were coworkers, coworkers who worked for William’s father. She wasn’t really counting on any of them sticking around once word got out about this.
“Come home with me,” he urged once she’d run out of story to tell.
Karise shook her head. “I don’t know about that. I think I should be saving my money for a move. Where am I going to move, Devon?”
“You know there’s always a place for you in Ecuador. And money isn’t an obstacle. You’re family – what’s mine is yours.”
“You keep saying that, but it doesn’t change anything.”
“A man can hope.”
“I don’t think I can move back there.” She didn’t know why; she just knew that wasn’t the path she was supposed to be on. “Thank you, though.”
“But a visit might do you good. I know Pablo and Lucia would love to see the beautiful woman you’ve become.”
“You’ve always been very smooth, you know that?”
“Does that mean you’ll hitch a ride back with me? Just give yourself a week or two to get your feet under you again.”
“Why are you so good to me?”
“I told you – we’re family. Why do you so stubbornly persist in ignoring me and Alex?”
Karise narrowed her eyes, her mouth twisting in consternation. She wasn’t sure she could put it into words, so she opted to address the result of her actions instead. “I’m sorry. I never meant to be hurtful.”
“Make it up to me by letting me pay your moving costs. Anywhere in the world you want to go, any life you want to live.”
“Why don’t we start with the visit to Ecuador and then go from there?” Karise relented, feeling a sense of relief that she at least knew her next step.
“Excellent. Jane will be thrilled to meet you.”
“I have to admit I’m curious to meet her, too. She must be quite a woman to have tamed you.”
“She didn’t tame me.”
“Sure she didn’t.” Karise grinned at him before letting it drop. “So what brings you to Boston, anyway? I didn’t realize McAlister Industries had much of a presence here. Or is it the roses?”
“Neither.” He shook his head, sobering slightly. “I was here because I had a lead on an adoption, but it turned out to be another dead end.”
“I had no idea you were trying to adopt.” Karise was ashamed of herself for knowing so little about Devon’s life. “I would think if the McAlister name and money was good for anything, it would be something like this.”
“As did I, so I made Jane promises I’m struggling to keep now that reality has set in. It turns out that most Ecuadorian adoption agencies prefer to place children with Ecuadorian families. American agencies aren’t too keen on adopting to ex-pats.”
“But you still have so many business dealings here. And aren’t there countless children sitting in homes, needing good families?”
“It’s asinine, I know. I have never felt so completely incompetent in my entire life.”
“Welcome to the world the rest of us live in.” Karise reached out to give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “However you may feel at the moment, you’re Devon McAlister. If anyone can fix it, you can. Maybe it’s all just waiting on the right baby at the exact right moment.”
He patted her hand and smiled at her. Something in his eyes said he wasn’t convinced. “Thank you. Now, do you want me to go back to your apartment with you to pack, or do you want to go alone?”
Karise couldn’t believe what had come over her when she found herself accepting his offer of help gratefully. The old Karise would have stoically gone it alone. Maybe now was as good of a time as any to reinvent who Karise McAlister was, though. Stoically going it alone really hadn’t gotten her very far to date.
As it turned out, she really didn’t have that much she called her own. While Karise set about packing her clothes into her barely used luggage, Devon ran to buy some boxes. She was happy to discover William wasn’t there. She didn’t know if she could have handled another talk about them. He’d left her a curt note on the table instructing her to leave her keys when she left and that he’d already taken the liberty of telling his father she wouldn’t be at work on Monday. If she’d leave an address for him, he would forward her things from the office.
While Karise couldn’t blame him for being angry, it all felt so abrupt. She wouldn’t have minded saying goodbye to her friends and clients at work. She didn’t even want to think about what they’d be told, what they’d think of her when William was finished telling his tale of woe. It bothered her knowing she was the bad guy in this particular story. She dropped the note back on the table and wandered through the apartment, taking it all in one last time and struggling to comprehend that less than 24 hours before, she’d been trying to convince William to stay home from the showing so they could make love. Maybe it was a good thing he’d refused. Maybe if he hadn’t, she wouldn’t have gotten the wakeup call in time.
Autopilot got her through the process of packing. She found it troublesome that her worldly possessions fit into two suitcases and three boxes. The rest of the apartment belonged to William, or were items they’d purchased together that he’d chosen. At Devon’s hotel, she left most of her belongings in his rental and took just one carryon to the room with her. Of course he had rented a suite, so there was plenty of space for her in his room. He offered her one of her own, but it seemed like a waste of money, and she wasn’t so sure she wanted to be alone at the moment.
Once they were settled, he ordered them dinner while she left a voicemail for the wedding planner. They stumbled across a cheesy ‘80s movie marathon on TV, which they watched in their pajamas while sharing a pepperoni pizza. Neither spoke of their troubles. They just were. Karise decided that maybe having a big brother wasn’t so terrible.
When the phone rang, it startled Karise. Both checked to see if it was theirs; Devon won. He took the call in the other room so he wouldn’t disrupt the movie. Karise thought his conversation could only help the film – it was pretty terrible. Twenty minutes later, he reclaimed his spot on the couch.
“Alex says hi.”
“How is she?”
“Tired. The twins are in full-scale toddler mode.” Devon smiled; Karise thought she could see the flicker of a memory in his eyes. “Those are some cute kids, though.”
“I can’t say I know Alex very well, but it’s really hard to picture her with twins.”
“She struggles to picture herself with twins, too.”
Karise laughed. “Is she happy?”
Devon answered without pause. “Deliriously s
o, I think. If you ever make it to the South Pacific, you should visit them. Their home is incredible.”
“Doesn’t she live in a palace now?” Karise remembered reading about the McAlister heiress marrying into royalty from some obscure island nobody had ever heard of. She’d been invited to the wedding but hadn’t felt comfortable going, so she’d politely declined and sent a gift instead. She’d belabored over what to send for weeks, though. What do you get royalty that they don’t already have?
“Yes, and it’s an incredible palace.”
“Says the man who lives on a rose plantation.”
He shrugged innocently. “I guess McAlisters don’t go halfway.”
“No, you don’t.”
“You’re a McAlister, too, you know,” he reminded her.
“Not by blood.”
“Why do you still do this?” Devon threw his hands up.
Karise leaned back, pushed away by the force of his frustration. She didn’t answer at first, turning the question over in her mind until she came up with an honest answer, one she hadn’t really admitted even to herself. “Because I took your mother away from you. I broke your family.”
It was Devon’s turn to recoil as if slapped. “Is that really what you think? I can’t believe you’ve been carrying that around all these years.”
Karise blinked, determined not to cry.
Devon reached out, pulling her into his chest. “You didn’t break our family. You completed it. Mom’s the one who hurt us. Not you.”
For whatever reason, she believed him. The weight of guilt wicked away as he soothingly stroked her hair. A ringing phone once again interrupted them. This time it was Karise’s. It was a number she didn’t recognize, so she pulled herself together to answer it.
“Karise? It’s Kate.”
Karise slipped out to the balcony for some privacy. “Kate. Hi. How are you?”
“Fine, fine. I’m so sorry to bother you, but Aidan told me what happened. I wanted to be sure you were okay.”
“Yeah, fine.” Karise wasn’t sure if she was lying or not.
“Are you really? I’m not sure I believe you. You sound upset.”
Waiting for You Page 3