“My lovely Karise, I think you should know that I have every intention of holding you close tonight. I’m going to fall asleep with you in my arms.”
She snuggled up close to him, kissing his hand on impulse once they’d settled in. Normally, being this close to Aidan would send desire shooting through previously undiscovered nerve endings. But this night, it brought her peace. She fell asleep a very happy woman.
Her eyes popped open early the next morning. Her mind was instantly alert, but her body was entirely too comfortable to even think about moving. Instead, she stayed in Aidan’s arms and mulled over the day ahead of her. More than anything, she was fixated on one thing: Should she see her mother before she was cremated? Part of her was curious and wanted to make that connection. Another part didn’t think seeing a shell in a casket was the only impression she wanted of Victoria. Would it be better to keep the image she already had in her mind?
“What are you thinking about so hard?” Aidan interrupted her reverie.
“Why do you know I’m thinking about something?”
“Your entire body has tensed up.”
“Ah.” Karise hadn’t noticed, but now that he mentioned it, she tried to force herself to relax. “I’m trying to decide if I want to see Victoria today.”
“Oooh, yeah, that is a tough call.”
She laced her fingers through his, pulling his arms in closer to her. “What would you do?”
“I honestly have no idea.”
“Is it wrong that I don’t think I want to see her? It wouldn’t help me get to know her, who she was. I think it would just make me sad.”
“I don’t think there is a right or wrong choice there.” Aidan’s phone interrupted what he was going to say next. “Hold that thought.”
He rolled over to snag his phone off the nightstand, leaving Karise to mull over the decision at hand while half her mind was listening to Aidan’s end of the conversation, not that she could tell what it was about. His answers were fairly noncommittal.
He hung up and rolled back over, wrapping his arms around her again as he nuzzled her neck.
“Who was that?” She didn’t care if she was being nosy.
“That was Eldon. He owns a grocery chain on the Eastern seaboard. Devon didn’t waste any time making that phone call.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
“But that was really fast. I can’t believe I already heard from the guy.”
“When Devon asks, people tend to listen.”
“It was really nice of him to make that call.”
“He’s a nice guy, but I’ll be sure to pass along your thanks.”
“Thank you.”
Karise waited a few beats, but Aidan didn’t seem inclined to expand on the conversation. “So, what did he say?”
“He invited me to attend a grocer’s convention with him next week. He said it was late notice, but he had an extra seat at his table if I could make it.”
“That’s amazing!” Karise sat up and looked at Aidan. “Why do I get the impression you don’t think that’s amazing?”
“That’s another airfare and another trip away from Zoe. Even if I could manage both, this is a terrible time of year to try to get a babysitter. Everyone is so busy.”
“I’ll do it.” The words tumbled out before she’d had a chance to process them.
“I appreciate the offer, but I can’t ask that of you.”
“You didn’t ask, I offered.”
“No, really,” he hesitated.
“Yes, really. Zoe and I will have fun. It’ll be girl time.”
“Really?”
“Would you stop saying that? Yes, really! I can handle a few days alone with a little girl.”
Karise was happy when Aidan finally agreed, until it settled in that he’d finally agreed. What on earth was she going to do, all alone with a little girl for days?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“I’M ONLY GOING to be gone for a few days. Try really hard not to get into any trouble.” Karise patted the crimson and silver urn. The color and carvings were fitting for a woman who’d lived her life as vibrantly and blithely as Victoria McAlister had. Even if Karise hadn’t been able to bring herself to visit Victoria before the cremation, she thought she’d at least done a good job picking the urn. She couldn’t say when exactly she’d begun talking to it, or rather the contents inside. But its presence on her mantle had filled the place, making it hard to ignore. At some point, she’d given up ignoring and started chatting.
The drive over to Aidan’s filled Karise with a mixture of apprehension and excitement. There was an appeal to immersing herself in his world for three days. There was also a certain amount of terror attached to it. What if she royally botched this whole kid-house-farm-sitting thing? It was a very real possibility, considering she had zero experience in all three areas.
Karise managed to tamp down the panic long enough to pick up Aidan and Zoe for the trip to the airport. She hung back while Zoe said her goodbyes to her dad. When it was Karise’s turn, she gave him a quick kiss and a very long hug. The rational part of her knew it was only a few days. The irrational part of her was screaming at her to hold on tighter. It was a new experience for her – having someone in her life whose absence made her feel like part of her was missing.
And then he was gone, leaving her alone with Zoe, who she now eyed apprehensively. Sure, she’d spent countless hours with her over the last few months. But now that it was just the two of them, the weight of the encounter shifted dramatically. Karise took a deep breath and gave herself a quick mental pep talk, sounding almost like a normal human being by the time she asked, “So, what’s first on our agenda?”
“I’m hungry.”
“Your dad didn’t feed you breakfast?”
“He was busy.”
Fair enough, Karise told herself. “Okay, how about we grab some breakfast before we head home?”
“Daddy doesn’t like me eating out. He says the food is crap.”
“Are you allowed to say that word?”
Zoe shuffled her feet, the action telling Karise the answer was no.
“I don’t think eating out just this once will hurt us.” Karise’s outward response was much different from her inward, What the heck am I going to feed this kid, and just how many times a day do they eat?
“Okay…” Zoe drew the word out in a way that clearly said she wasn’t buying it. She didn’t argue, though, and Karise wasn’t in the mood to debate, either. Instead, she drove them to a local breakfast nook and got them each a short stack of pancakes with an orange juice for Zoe and a coffee for herself.
Zoe gave her glass a look of horror. “This orange juice has strings in it.”
“That’s called pulp.”
“It’s gross.”
Karise sucked in her breath, holding it until she trusted what might come out of her mouth next. “Okay, I’ll drink the orange juice. Do you like apple juice?”
Zoe nodded and went back to coloring her children’s menu. Karise ordered them an apple juice, all the while wondering what happened to the charming child she’d come to know. After breakfast, they swung by Kate’s house to check on the construction progress. It was Sunday, so the jobsite was quiet. Karise didn’t really need to approve the purchase orders that day, but she picked them up anyway – mostly for something to do on the way back to Aidan’s. She was suddenly hesitant to be alone with Zoe all day at the house.
Once in the car, she glanced in her rearview mirror to double- check that Zoe was strapped in before leaving. She could see herself forgetting to do that.
“We missed church,” Zoe informed her pertly.
“Right. Church. I’m sorry.” Karise wished Aidan had made out a list or a schedule for her. “Is it too late to go now?”
Zoe gave her a look that made Karise feel like an idiot for asking. The rest of the ride home was quiet while Karise wondered how to get them back on track.
“Do you want to go for a walk
when we get home?” Karise tried hopefully.
“Nah.” Zoe didn’t look up.
Oh boy. Karise glanced at the clock, wondering if it was too soon to call Aidan. When they got back to the house, Zoe went to play in her room, leaving Karise to wonder what she’d done to alienate the girl. She idled away the afternoon by sifting through POs and sketching out ideas for Aidan’s house remodel. Clyde kept her company, the weight of his massive head on her feet reassuring her that someone in the house still liked her.
When she couldn’t stand being trapped in her own head any longer, Karise tossed her sketchpad aside and went to Zoe’s room. She looked up from her dolls, barely acknowledging Karise before going back to her imaginary world.
“Can I play?” Karise ventured into the room.
Zoe shrugged.
“You have a lovely room.” Karise looked around; the walls were covered with pictures of fairies. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in here before.”
Zoe’s brow crinkled, making Karise think she might have stumbled onto something.
“I like fairies, too.”
“They’re pixies.”
“Right, like the ones who live in the tree at the edge of the poppy field. They’re so beautiful.” Karise reached a hand up to run her fingers along one of the delicate figurines sitting on a shelf.
“So? You’re going to take them away.”
“What? Honey, I’m not going to take your pixies away.”
“You’re going to change my room. You’re going to change everything.” Zoe’s voice was soft but laced with resentment.
Karise realized she’d stumbled across the reason for Zoe’s sudden shift in attitude. She tentatively sat on the edge of the bed. “Oh, sweetheart. I don’t want to change everything.”
“But you do. Daddy wasn’t gone all the time before you came along. Now Daddy said you’re going to change our house.”
“Your dad is gone because of his work, and hopefully this will be the last trip for a while. I should have thanked you sooner for letting me borrow him when my mom died. Having him there made me less sad.”
“I don’t know my mom, either.” Zoe seemed to momentarily forget her anger at Karise.
“She doesn’t know what she’s missing. You’re a delightful young woman.”
Zoe looked up at Karise, her face plainly saying she was deciding whether to let go of her ire.
“You know, Zoe,” Karise began hesitantly, “your dad came to me about the house thing. Have you told him you don’t want him to change it?”
Zoe shook her head.
“Is it okay if I tell him?”
Hope sprang to Zoe’s face as she nodded.
“Maybe we can work out a compromise, a way for both of you to be happy.”
“Okay.” Zoe handed one of the pixie dolls in her hand to Karise. “You can stay and play for a while if you want.”
Karise beamed at the little girl. “I’d enjoy that very much.”
Several awkward moments later, Zoe called a halt to the game, eyeing Karise speculatively and declaring, “You aren’t very good at this, are you?”
“No, no I’m not. Sorry.”
“That’s okay.” Zoe giggled then grew serious. “Are you ready to marry my daddy yet?”
Karise choked. “What? What brought that on?”
“You told me you weren’t ready to marry anyone. Are you now?”
Karise thought back to the first time she’d met Zoe. She remembered that conversation. Somehow the idea of marrying Aidan didn’t seem so farfetched now, but the topic hadn’t come up. Truthfully, she was glad it hadn’t. She couldn’t imagine a life without him, but she also wasn’t ready to make such a big decision. She wanted to feel more comfortable in her own skin before she promised to share her life with anyone.
“Well, are you?” Zoe was growing impatient for an answer.
Karise spoke very carefully. “Your dad and I haven’t talked about getting married, sweetheart. We really like each other, but I don’t know that either of us is ready for such a big step.”
“I don’t know.” Zoe seemed skeptical. “I think my daddy loves you.”
Karise’s heart soared. She debated for a moment before leaning in and lowering her voice. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Zoe nodded eagerly, leaning toward Karise.
“I think I love your daddy.”
“I knew it!” Zoe clapped triumphantly.
“But,” Karise held up a hand, “That doesn’t mean we’re ready for marriage. That takes time. Maybe we’ll never get married, but I can tell you that I will always care for you and your dad very much, no matter what happens.”
Zoe nodded, considering Karise’s words.
Karise could hear her phone ringing in the living room. She jumped up, calling to Zoe as she went. “That could be your dad.”
She nearly melted with relief at the sound of Aidan’s voice. “How was your flight?”
“Long, at least it felt that way with a 10-year-old kicking the back of my seat the whole way.” He sounded tired. “How was church?”
“Yeah, about that…” Karise sighed. “I totally forgot about church. I’m a terrible person, I know, but is there any way I could get a schedule or at least some helpful hints from you?”
Aidan chuckled. “What about the note I left on the fridge?”
“There is no note on the fridge.” Karise went to check again. “Nope, nothing here.”
“Check under the counter. Sometimes Clyde knocks things down with his tail.”
Karise got down on all fours and peeked under the counter. “Nope, not there either.”
“Really? I know I wrote everything down. Oh, wait. Crap. Here it is. I’m so sorry – I packed it.”
Karise sat on the floor with her back against the counter and smiled. “I’m just glad I’m not the crazy one.”
“Do you want to grab a pen and paper or do you want me to email this to you?”
“We’ll do it the old fashioned way. Just give me a second to find something to write with.”
“Try the drawer under the microwave,” he suggested.
A moment later, Karise was back in her spot on the floor, this time with pen and paper in hand. “Alright, go for it.”
Aidan rattled off enough instructions to make her head spin – the most intimidating of which was that Joe got Sundays off, so it was up to Karise to feed and put away the goats that evening.
After he finished relaying instructions, they talked about their days. Karise wasn’t sure how to broach the topic of her conversation with Zoe. She needed more time to process everything before she ventured into those waters. Besides, maybe that was a talk best had in person.
Zoe was thrilled to hear her daddy’s voice. Karise couldn’t blame her. Talking to him almost made her miss him more. She cringed when she heard Zoe relay that they hadn’t eaten lunch. When she had him on the phone, Karise promised they’d eat an early dinner. “I will get the hang of this.”
“You’re doing a great job. Zoe sounds happy; the rest will work itself out,” he reassured her.
“Thank you. Have a good trip and tell us all about it when you get back.”
Zoe was waiting for Karise when she got off the phone. “Did you tell him about the house?”
“Not yet.”
“I knew it.” Zoe narrowed her eyes.
“Give me a day or two. I’m working something out.”
“Okay.” Zoe’s voice didn’t ring with confidence.
“I will! Hey, should I feed you or the goats first?”
“Me.” Zoe didn’t miss a beat.
Karise nodded and went to open the refrigerator. It didn’t offer much, so she checked the freezer. When she came up empty there, she moved on to the pantry. “Where’s all the food?”
“There.” Zoe looked at her like she was crazy.
“That’s not food. Those are ingredients.”
“Daddy turns that into food.”
“Of course he
does.” Karise sighed.
“You’re not very good at this, either, are you?” Zoe propped her chin on her hands and watched Karise with interest.
“Apparently not.” Karise pulled out her phone and started looking for the nearest takeout.
CHAPTER TWELVE
KARISE WAS WELCOMED back from picking up takeout by the plaintive sound of hungry goats. Even before she got out of the car, she could tell they were not happy with her. Ignoring Zoe’s admonishment for being late for evening feed, Karise unfastened the girl from her car seat and sat her at the picnic table with her dinner.
“Go ahead and start eating, sweetie. I’ll go get the goats in and I’ll be right back to join you, okay?”
Zoe giggled, making Karise wonder if she knew something Karise didn’t. She found the written instructions pinned to a bulletin board in the barn, as promised. Feed had been pre-measured and clearly marked, making the process slightly less overwhelming. Per the instructions, Karise opened the gate to let the goats into the barn then turned to put the feed in the trough.
This isn’t so bad, she thought a split second before the first set of hooves hit her behind. They were quickly followed by several more as a dozen goats of varying sizes climbed her trying to reach the feed she now held above her head.
She cursed the goats and she cursed the day she ever thought goats were cute as she fought her way through the masse to pour feed into the trough. The sound of grain hitting plastic must have been one they recognized because the swarm left her.
She stumbled over to the gate, feeling as if she’d barely escaped with her life by the time she rested against the barn wall safely outside the stall. Karise checked the note from Aidan again to see if it held some clue as to what she’d done wrong. Unable to glean any new pearls of wisdom, Karise grabbed the second batch of feed and went to bring the last herd in for the night.
This time she poured the feed before she opened the door for them. The sound attracted them like moths to a flame. Karise couldn’t get the door open for goats flinging themselves at the barrier between them and their food. Those who didn’t fling were jostling to climb over each other and the door.
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