“That it could,” Jack agreed. “Everyone who knew her loved her, but nobody loved her more than Dane McAlister.”
Karise inadvertently winced. It always came back to that.
“I don’t want to speak ill of your father.” Jack looked from Devon to Alex. “He was a good man in a lot of ways, but he never deserved her.”
“You just said he loved her more than anybody.”
“That didn’t stop him from treating her like he owned her, which didn’t make it any easier for her to deal with his mercurial moods. He showed the world his charismatic side. To Victoria, he was something much darker. They hadn’t been married six months when the first woman came between them. The pattern was always the same: Victoria would find out and threaten to leave him. He’d break it off with that woman, only to replace her as soon as things settled down with their marriage. She did leave him once; he convinced her to come back. Of course, the speculation was that Victoria was just being flighty. No one dared believe Dane had done anything wrong.”
No one else spoke. Processing the story seemed to be as difficult for Alex and Devon as it was for Karise, probably more so.
Jack looked to each of them, silently asking if he should go on. “I think he settled down after you were born, Alex. Your family had moved out east by then, but she still wrote sometimes. I was someone safe she could talk to, someone who knew her before and who wouldn’t share what I knew. She told me that he loved you kids so much; his focus turned from himself to raising you. Victoria knew he wanted to repair the marriage, and she believed he wanted to make it work, but he’d done a lot of damage by that point. He’d done things to her, things she never told anyone else, and she’d never gotten over them. Dane wasn’t a man accustomed to being told no.”
“Things?” Alex looked pale.
Jack shook his head. “I’ve already rehashed more of this than she ever wanted you to know. But I’ve watched the media rip her to shreds for years. I didn’t want you kids to spend the rest of your lives believing a lie. Her life was a living hell married to Dane McAlister. To the rest of the world, he was the perfect guy. It made her feel crazy. One day it just got to be too much, so she left. I’m not even sure she meant to leave – she got in the car to go to the grocery store and just kept going. I don’t think she ever forgave herself for it.”
“If he was so terrible, why didn’t she take us with her?” Again, it was Alex who spoke. Devon’s face was darker than Karise had ever seen it.
“Because she truly believed he would never hurt the two of you, and she knew he’d never let you go. She felt trapped by her world.”
“What about me?” Karise had to know. “Did she ever write to you about me?”
Jack turned his attention to her, his face kinder than she’d ever seen it. “She loved you, she did. And she loved Pablo. But by the time you were born, she was so very broken inside. I only heard from her once after you were born. Then the letters stopped.”
Karise absorbed all she’d just learned. It was a lot to take in – everything she’d founded her life on was turned upside down. Her heart ached for Devon and Alex. It had to be so much worse for them.
“Why are you telling them this now?” Kate asked, speaking up for the first time. “Why didn’t you say something the instant I brought Karise here?”
“I’ve been trying not to say anything since you brought Karise here. I’ve been wrestling with it nonstop. But I couldn’t keep quiet any longer. Think of your mother what you will, but at least make an informed decision. Victoria deserved that much.”
“That’s why you’ve been so weird around me.” It clicked into place for Karise. “I thought you hated me.”
“I didn’t hate you. I don’t hate you. I see a lot of Victoria in you, though, and I have to admit it’s unsettling.”
Aidan interrupted the stunned silence. “Dinner is ready. I’m sorry if the timing is off…”
“No,” Alex stood. “It’s perfect timing. Feeding the kids will keep my brain from exploding.”
“I’ll help,” Daniel offered, never leaving her side.
Karise wanted to say something to comfort Devon, but Jane was there, her hand resting lightly on his arm as she tried to get him to talk to her. Instead, Karise poured the guests’ drinks while Aidan made Zoe a plate. She found herself face to face with Lani.
The girl seemed so sad as she took the lemonade from Karise. When she went to walk away, Karise found herself reaching out and placing a hand on Lani’s arm to still her.
“If you ever need a non-parent to talk to, I’m here,” Karise blurted. “And I’m really sorry. The whole situation sucks. You’re handling it better than I would.”
Lani’s face brightened a fraction and she inclined her head in acknowledgement. “Thank you.”
Karise made herself a plate and snagged a spot at the picnic table beside Aidan. She couldn’t do more than pick at the food in front of her, though. Her stomach was an unsettled mess, rivaled only by the unsettled mess in her head.
Aidan cocked his head in her direction, the concern evident in his eyes. “Are you okay?”
Karise nodded slowly. “Just processing. I’m worried about Devon and Alex, though. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if someone had just told me Pablo wasn’t the man I thought he was. My dad’s good character is one of those things I’ve counted on – like maybe I didn’t totally have genetics working against me because of him.”
“Do you like me?” He nudged her almost playfully with his shoulder.
She laughed quietly and shook her head. “I’m crazy about you, and you know it.”
“Well I can almost guarantee you won’t like either of my parents. They aren’t ogres, but they’ll drive you crazy. We’re more than our genetics.”
“But they matter,” Karise persisted.
“But you can overcome them. At some point, our choices are no longer our parents’ blame. They’re all us. I’m sure Devon and Alex are struggling now, but they are both good people, no matter who their parents were. They’ll land on their feet, and I think they deserved to know. I’m glad Jack said something.”
“But I wasn’t crazy – he was being weird around me.”
Aidan chuckled. “But he didn’t hate you, so we’re splitting the win on that one.”
“Fair enough.”
“Kate mentioned that the two of you had a little wedding pow- wow earlier today.” Aidan changed the subject.
“We did—well, it was mostly her. I’m a bit lost when it comes to planning things like that.”
“So? Have you picked a day? Is there anything you need from me?”
Karise’s mind went blank. “I have no idea. I’m so sorry. It sounded like such a brilliant idea to have a simple wedding while my family is in town, but I can’t formulate the first coherent thought right now. I’m probably in no shape to be planning our wedding.”
“Have you changed your mind? We can postpone it; I’ll understand.”
“No,” Karise shook her head. “I guess I’m just worried I’ll screw it up.”
“It will be perfect, so long as we’re married at the end of it,” he promised. “But I’ll talk to Kate to see if we can organize the troops.”
Karise leaned against his shoulder. “Thank you.”
Alex sat down at the table across from Karise, her face determined. “I want to go to the rodeo tonight.”
Karise sat up, brightening. “Really?”
“Really. Is it too late to do that?”
“Not at all,” she rushed to reassure Alex. “Is it nosy to ask what brought this on?”
Alex blinked, looking away for a second before meeting Karise’s eyes. “You heard Jack. Mom felt trapped, and it sent her over the edge. I don’t want Lani to feel like that, like there’s no hope for her life. Daniel isn’t thrilled, but he agreed to go and to keep his hands off Aaron’s throat.”
“Wow. That’s impressive,” Aidan commented.
Karise gave him an incredulous look.
&nbs
p; “I’m serious,” Aidan defended himself. “If some cowboy came sniffing around Zoe while I was away, I’d be hard-pressed to keep my hands off his neck.”
“Because assault charges always help a situation.” Karise made a face at him before turning her attention back to Alex. “I’ll double-check the times, but I think we’d have to leave in about half an hour.”
“Actually, I’ll call Elsie. She’ll know the details,” Aidan offered, retrieving his phone from his pocket. They went to spread the word that plans for the evening had changed. Karise heard a delighted and decidedly un-regal squeal coming from inside the house and smiled. It was a safe bet that Lani had just been informed of the change in plans.
Her suspicions were confirmed when the girl came barreling out of the house, straight into Daniel’s surprised arms.
“Thank you, Joey.” She planted a kiss on his cheek and hugged his neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Karise looked to Alex, who had followed Lani out of the house. “Joey?”
“It’s a nickname,” Alex explained.
Why? Because it’s short for Daniel? The nickname made no sense to her, but she was rapidly coming to the conclusion that her family was an odd bunch. They were her odd bunch, though, and she was falling more in love with them each and every day.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
KARISE HAD NEVER BEEN to a rodeo before. Sights, sounds and smells assaulted her senses the closer they got. There were so many people milling about. Vendor stands selling food, souvenirs, and cowboy paraphernalia lined the walkways. Cows of varying sizes stood in pens, watching the commotion with looks of boredom. Horses corralled at the far end of the giant dirt arena seemed to feed off the electricity in the air. They jostled and stamped and shook their manes. The smell of animal and leather was thick in the air around them. Oddly, Karise didn’t find it unpleasant.
Cowboys and cowgirls rode their horses in the open field behind the arena. Some rode lazy circles, some twirled ropes, some ran for short bursts only to come to a sliding stop. Lani’s eyes were trained on that field as she searched for her cowboy.
Her face lit up. “There he is! Can I go say hello to let him know we’re here?”
“Can’t you text him?” Daniel countered.
“He won’t check his phone until afterwards.”
Daniel conceded. “You’re not going alone.”
“I’ll take Karise with me.” Lani surprised Karise by grabbing her hand. “She’ll chaperone us.”
Alex and Daniel exchanged looks. Aidan looked like he was wrestling with a grin.
“Fine, but I will be close by. No shenanigans.”
“Shenanigans? Really, Joey?”
Karise made a mental note to ask for a better explanation of the “Joey” thing later. Meanwhile, she allowed herself to be tugged along by the excited teenager, trying unsuccessfully to take in the sights as they went. Daniel followed a few paces behind and stationed himself at the makeshift gate at the edge of the field, his arms crossed and his face stern, looking very much like the protector he was.
Lani slowed her pace, moving now with her usual regal air. They skirted around the outside edge of the riders’ area, careful to stay out of the way as they made their way along. Karise had no idea how Lani could pick hers out of the bunch since they were all wearing hats, but she seemed to know right where they were going.
Lani picked her spot on the sidelines and waited patiently for Aaron to notice her. They didn’t have to wait long. One rider stopped short, turning his horse toward them slowly. He sat there for a moment, regarding the two women, before nudging his mount forward and weaving through the other contestants as he came.
It seemed to Karise that he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. Up close, Karise could see he was more muscled than she’d first suspected. He had the lean muscles of a man who earned them from the land, like Aidan. He stopped his horse in front of them, dismounting in a fluid motion. He came to stand in front of Lani, hat in hand, looking down at her without a word.
Lani reached up to brush a lock of sandy hair away from his deep blue eyes. “Hi.”
A brilliant smile broke across his face. Karise thought he was going to scoop her up and kiss her, but he merely replied “Hi” before turning to Karise and tipping his head politely. “Ma’am. I’m Aaron Johnston.”
“Pleased to meet you.” Karise accepted the hand he offered her. “I’m Karise McAlister.”
“Lani’s aunt. It’s real good to meet you.” He turned his gaze back to Lani. “How did you get away? How long do we have?”
Lani couldn’t contain her smile. “All night. We’re here for the rodeo, and to take you out afterwards, if you’d like.”
“Really?”
“Really. Look.” She pointed to a fiercely scowling Daniel.
“He doesn’t look happy about it.”
“He’s not.” Lani didn’t sugarcoat it. “But he’s here, and he promises not to murder you.”
“That’s comforting.”
“Is it okay we’re here?” She reached out to touch his arm.
“Who’s we?”Aaron glanced around.
“The whole family!”
Aaron swallowed hard. “That’s great.”
“Don’t let us make you nervous,” Karise interjected. “None of us know what we’re doing, so we’re impressed by the fact that you’re here – you’ve already surpassed us in talent. And Lani has told us all about how you gentle the mustangs on your parents’ farm. I think it’s fascinating.”
“Thank you.” Gratitude shone in his eyes.
“We should probably get back to our group so you can go practice, or whatever.” Karise nodded her head toward Daniel and took a few steps away to give the couple some measure of privacy. She’d been expecting a passionate embrace, but he merely kissed her hand, though his expression spoke volumes when they said their goodbyes.
As Karise and Lani walked away arm in arm, Karise couldn’t help observing, “That boy is crazy head over heels in love with you.”
“Do you think so?”
“Oh honey, yes, I definitely do.”
Lani didn’t get a chance to respond because Daniel had joined them. Some of the granite melted away from his expression when he saw the look on Lani’s face. He was struggling to stay angry in light of her joy. Karise thought to herself that, if nothing else, Lani had no shortage of men who loved her—if only they could learn to get along.
As it turned out, the rodeo was a perfect diversion. The children were enthralled—Karise had never seen Zoe’s eyes so big—and in truth, so were the adults. Lani was all smiles, especially when Aaron finished his bronc ride by tipping his hat to her once his feet were back on dirt.
After the rodeo, Kate and Gavin headed home to put Jonathan to bed while Jane offered to take the twins back to the hotel. Aidan caved under Zoe’s pleading gaze, promising she could go with the rest of the group to the café for dessert before bed. The slightly smaller group managed to find a table with only a short wait.
Aaron was charming, polite, and overall cuter than a speckled puppy. Karise had no trouble seeing why Lani was so smitten. The dynamic between Alex, Daniel and the young couple was both amusing and sweet. Karise could see how hard they were trying.
When Zoe started to yawn, Aidan offered to give Devon a ride home so Alex’s family could have some time alone. The short drive to the hotel left little time to talk, so they set up a breakfast date in the morning.
After dropping Devon off, Aidan drove Karise back to the cottage. Zoe was asleep by the time they got there, giving the pair the opportunity for a lingering kiss goodbye. She was looking forward to the day when it was goodnight instead of goodbye.
Alone in the cottage, Karise went to stand in front of the urn. She stared at it for a few moments, not sure what it was she wanted to say. “I misjudged you, Victoria. I’m sorry for that. I’m still mad – you hurt a lot of people. But I’m sorry for your pain. I wish you’d found your path.”<
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Letting go of the anger was hard to do. Karise knew that if she was ever going to be truly free, it had to be done – even if doing so opened the door for sorrow. She cried herself to sleep that night. She cried for the mother she never knew, she cried for a woman so trapped by her life it drove her mad, and she cried for the trail of pain left in the wake of it all.
The next morning, Karise awoke feeling refreshed and almost light, the weight of anger and sorrow washed away by cleansing tears. She showered and dressed for her breakfast with Alex and Devon, grabbing the envelope with their mother’s things on her way out the door. Since she was usually late to meet Devon – and the past two times in grand fashion – Karise was determined to be early for this meeting.
Somehow, he still beat her to the restaurant. He was sitting at a booth all alone, toying with a cup of coffee and staring out the window so intently he didn’t even notice Karise slide into the seat across from him.
“Hey, big brother.” She maneuvered to be in his line of sight.
He glanced her way, his smile not reaching his eyes. “Good morning.”
Karise waited for the waitress to finish pouring her coffee. “The trip certainly didn’t happen like you planned, did it?”
“No, no it didn’t.” His laugh was sardonic.
She reached out to take one of his hands. “How are you handling all of this?”
“Fine.” He looked down at his hand in hers.
“Liar. I don’t know you all that well and I can tell you’re full of it. This is eating you alive. It might help to talk.”
He withdrew his hand from hers, sitting up straighter and looking her in the eye. “What would you have me say? That I heard her cry at night? That I knew she was hurting and did nothing?”
“You were ten years old when she left him. What would you have done? Was there even one thing you could have feasibly done to save her?”
He opened his mouth to argue, and she held up a hand to silence him. “No, Devon, you listen to me. This wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t even Alex’s fault. It just was. Is this why you spent so much of your life fixing things for other people, to atone for not helping your mother? Is this why you were such a stubborn mule about being there for me?”
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