by Liwen Y. Ho
“But, what about the kitchen? I can’t leave them on such short notice.”
“They can handle things for a little while. If needed, Charlie can call in some of the temporary staff to help out.”
James frowned. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Lexi wanted him to go. What about the conversation they were about to have? Did their relationship not matter to her? “But … the ranch is my home. My family and friends are here.” You’re here, he wanted to add but couldn’t. The moment they had shared had already passed. Instead, he added in a hopeful tone, “What about my chili?”
She shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s just chili. There’s plenty of other food to eat.”
His heart sank. She might as well have said there were plenty of other fish in the sea because he felt as insignificant as a sardine. He made up his mind to keep his mouth shut. So much for wanting to share his true feelings with Lexi.
9
Lexi
Lexi took a sip from the mug Charlie handed her, hoping the coffee would do its trick. She hadn’t been sleeping well the past few days, ever since James had told her about his job offer with the band. Of course she didn’t want to see him go, but what else could she do? Telling him how she felt would only make him stay. What if he regretted that decision? As his friend, she wanted the best for him. In this case, the best was telling him to take the job. And avoiding him whenever possible. The less she saw of James, the less likely she’d entertain any thoughts of a future with him—right?
With careful planning, she had steered clear of the kitchen and the mess hall. Instead, she’d been eating cereal and sandwiches from the store. Her strategy seemed to be working because she’d avoided plenty of folks in the last few days, including Thomas and Tiffany, who had left for California yesterday. She’d only seen James in passing, but she knew she couldn’t avoid him forever.
“You shot yourself in the foot, cuz.” Charlie gave her a pointed look. She leaned against her desk in the lodge where the two of them were having a heart-to-heart early Friday morning. “James was about to spill his guts to you, and you told him to leave.”
“You don’t know for sure what he was going to say. He could’ve meant Shiloh was competing with him for my attention, nothing more.”
“Lexi, come on! He wants your attention, your heart, and, quite possibly, your hand. But before he could tell you any of that, you told him to take the job. Why?”
“Because he’s young. He should be out there enjoying life and seeing the world, not trapped here with an old maid like me.” Lexi blew at her coffee, watching small ripples form in the dark liquid. “I just want him to be happy, to not have any regrets in life. I want the best for him.”
Charlie narrowed her eyes. “Bless your heart, Lexi Turner. Do you really think he’d rather be thousands of miles away traveling with a bunch of guys instead of here at home with you?”
“Maybe, maybe not. But his forty-year-old self will be happy that he did.”
“And you know this because your almost-forty-year-old self is telling you so?” Charlie scoffed. “You know, for someone who’s seven years older than me, you’re not much wiser.”
Lexi almost spit out her mouthful of coffee. Her cousin might be direct, but she usually spoke her words in a joking manner. There was no humor in her tone now. “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m doing what’s right for James.”
“I know you have good intentions and you want what’s best for him, but that’s your problem. What about you? You spent the last decade of your life thinking about what Thomas wanted, you hardly thought about yourself. What do you want?”
Lowering her gaze, Lexi pulled at a loose thread on her blue top. The color reminded her of James’s vivid eyes and how they lit up whenever he looked her way. She couldn’t believe how close they had come to sharing a moment the other evening in the stable. A moment that would have shifted their friendship in the most wonderful way. She was sure he felt the same for her as she did for him. If only they had gotten the chance to say so.
She raised her eyes, meeting Charlie’s concerned ones. Lexi knew her cousin was speaking from her heart. If the tables were turned, she would be just as concerned. But she’d never been good at listening to herself about what she wanted. As a young girl, she’d been trained to do as her mom wanted. As a young woman, she had done everything to support her husband. Now, three days from her birthday, she finally had the chance to think for herself. What did she want?
Lexi said the words that had been weighing on her heart the past week: “I want to be with James.”
“Yes!” Charlie held her hand out for a high five. “That’s what I’ve been waiting to hear. You need to go tell him.”
“Now?”
“Actually, yesterday would have been preferable, but yes, now! What are you waiting for?” Charlie took the mug from Lexi’s hands and set it on the desk. With a wave of her hand, she sent her out the door. “Go, girl, go!”
Taking quick steps, Lexi walked into the bright sunshine that shone down from a sky of puffy clouds. She set out toward the ranch’s kitchen, with determination and excitement propelling her steps. Her boots kicked up dust along the dirt path. A few feet away, a loud cluck caught her attention. Uh-oh, it was her favorite rooster, no doubt coming to stir up trouble. Elvis strutted by and halted in front of her, the red comb on his head acting as a stop sign.
Lexi placed her hands on her hips and stood firmly rooted in place. “Out of my way, Elvis,” she chided him. “If you can’t tell, I’m on a mission. You of all people—I mean, birds—should understand. I’m on my way to see a hunk, a hunk of burning love. Now, don’t be cruel and let me pass. Please.”
To Lexi’s surprise, the rooster crowed once then flapped his wings. His head jerked forward and back as he strode past Lexi without so much as a look back.
“Wow, that was easy,” she murmured under her breath. She grinned, feeling more optimistic than ever. Even Elvis had given her his blessing. There was nothing that could stop her now.
She picked up her pace with each step forward, reaching the building in record time. The savory scents of cumin and oregano enveloped her as soon as she opened the door to the mess hall. Chili! Oh, how she’d missed James’s cooking. Her mouth watering, she followed the aroma like a rat under the Pied Piper’s spell. She peeked through the open kitchen door and immediately spotted James at the stove.
She didn’t need her camera lens to see how handsome James was. His broad shoulders filled out his jean shirt well as he stood tall and confident in his regular pair of cowboy boots. She recognized the thoughtful expression on his face when he tasted a bite from the large pot before him. He nodded his approval after a few seconds and turned the fire to low.
Lexi realized she was wasting time gawking at him, so she took a step inside. Clearing her throat, she waited for him to turn around. When he did, she greeted him with her brightest smile. “Hey, stranger.”
“Lexi, hi.” He cocked his head in confusion. “I thought you said you were busy doing inventory this week.”
“I got un-busy.” She hesitated, her heart pounding in her chest. Why were her palms sweaty? This was her best friend, for crying out loud. She could talk to him about almost anything. Hopefully that would include her feelings for him. “Do you have a minute?”
“Yeah.” He nodded toward the pot on the stove. “Would you like a bowl?”
“Of course. You don’t even have to ask.”
He ladled some chili into a bowl and handed it to her, along with a metal spoon. He gestured for her to take a seat at the counter across from where he stood. “I’m actually glad you stopped by. I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Her mouth full of chili, she nodded for him to go on.
James cleared his throat, an uneasy look crossing his face. Leaning his elbows on the counter, he clasped his large hands together. “I took your advice.”
“Advice? What advice?”
“The chef job. I decided to take it.”
>
Lexi’s body grew cold despite the hot bowl in her hands. James was leaving to go on tour? This was not how she expected this conversation to go. “I-I see. How long will you be gone for?”
“One month minimum, six at the most.”
She dropped her gaze, not wanting James to see her eyes water. Her appetite suddenly vanished. Instead, a heaviness gnawed at her heart. “What did Sharon and Bucky say?”
“They don’t know yet. I’m going to tell them tonight.”
Lexi dragged her spoon back and forth in her bowl, drawing circles and zigzags through the dark liquid.
“You’re not saying anything. Do you not like the chili today?”
“No, it’s good. I’m just—” she quickly blinked back her tears “—thinking about how different it’ll be to not have you around.”
“Hey, I’ll be back before you know it. Sage Valley is my home. Nothing could keep me away, especially when my friends and family are here.”
James surprised her by reaching across the counter. Lexi watched her hand disappear in his, the strength of his fingers offering her some much-needed comfort. She raised her head. When their gazes met, a bolt of electricity seemed to pass between them. There was so much she wanted to say, but the words lay still on the tip of her tongue. She merely nodded, relishing in the warmth of his touch.
All too soon, he pulled his hand back. “Uh, what is it you stopped by for? Was there something you wanted to talk about?”
“Oh, no, nothing,” she answered casually. “I just came by to say hi. And for some of your chili.” Her spoon made a dinging sound as she tapped it on the edge of her bowl. “Which I’m really going to miss when you’re gone.”
“I thought you said it was just chili?”
Her cheeks warmed to have gotten caught in a fib. “I guess the thought of you actually not being around to make it is starting to sink in. It’s not just chili. It’s my comfort food.” And you’re my comfort person, she added to herself. The thought of not having either James or his chili around made her sigh.
“Tell you what, I’ll give you the recipe so you can make it whenever you want.”
Her brows shot up. “Including the secret ingredient?”
“Unfortunately, that’s the one thing I can’t reveal.” He held up his palms in a gesture of peace. “I told my grams I’d keep it in the family. I’m a man of my word.”
“Of course. Friends don’t let friends break promises.”
“Thanks for understanding, Lex.” He ran a hand through his sandy hair before continuing. “We’ll be sure to celebrate your birthday before I go.”
“We don’t have to. It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s a big deal to me. Anyhow, I have a whole day planned already. I’ll ask Nanna for the day off for both of us. I’m sure she’ll say yes.”
Lexi nodded, returning James’s sweet smile. He might be leaving soon, but she still had time to spend with him. That, at least, was something worth looking forward to.
10
James
James sat at his great-aunt and great-uncle’s table, the square one by the kitchen window where he used to eat during his summer visits as a child. The wooden chair once enveloped him with its size, but now it barely fit his large frame.
Times had changed, and so had he. He’d been somewhat of a lone star in his youth, studious and socially awkward. These days he was more comfortable in social settings and even had a female best friend. The friendship was great, but he longed for more with Lexi—so much more.
What he wouldn’t give to hold her in his arms and finally tell her how he felt. He might look like a grown man, but sometimes he still felt like an awkward, gangly preteen. That was exactly how he felt earlier today when Lexi stopped by the kitchen. The words just wouldn’t come, which was why he’d resorted to speaking through his actions. He hoped that simple touch of his hand told her he’d always be there for her, even if the timing wasn’t right. Because the timing couldn’t have been more off.
Nanna plunked down a steaming bowl of chicken and dumplings before James and joined him at the table for his late-night dinner. She wiped her hands on her red apron that she wore over a checkered shirt and jeans. If it weren’t for her salt-and-pepper hair, she could easily blend in with women half her age, especially with her wit and energy. “Come on now, boy,” she clucked, worry lines etched across her forehead, “why the long face? Eat up and tell me all your woes. There’s nothing that some good southern cooking and a wise old woman can’t cure.”
“That’s precisely why I’m such a happy old man, James,” Bucky piped up from the next room where he was reading the paper.
“Don’t forget well-fed!” Nanna called back, earning her a soft chuckle from her husband.
James couldn’t help smiling at their banter. That’s what he enjoyed about visiting the Buchanans, seeing their affection for each other after all these years. Despite their busy lives of raising twin daughters and managing the ranch, they kept their love alive. He could sure learn some pointers about relationships from them. But first, he needed to address his work situation. “I hate to do this to y’all, but I’ve gotten a job offer from my old boss. The good news is that it’s only a temporary position, but I will need to be gone from the ranch for at least a month.”
Nanna’s cheeks pinked as she pursed her lips. “Well, that’s surprising news. I suppose it makes sense, given your age.”
“Why does my age matter? Lexi mentioned that too when I told her.”
A twinkle lit up the older woman’s eyes. “Did she now? What exactly did she say?”
“Something about me being young and needing to explore the world and not having any regrets.”
“And what did you say?”
“That I’d rather stay here in Sage Valley. My home is here. The folks I care about are here.”
Nanna narrowed her eyes at him. “So tell me, why are you taking this offer if you’d rather not go?”
“It pays well. I’d like to save up some money so I can support a family someday. Other than that, there’s not much that draws me to the job.”
“Hmm. Tell me more about this family. Is there someone specific you have in mind to start such a family with?” Nanna’s tone was casual, but there was a sly smile on her face.
“I, uh … maybe,” James admitted shyly.
“And have you told this woman how you feel?”
“I tried, but we got interrupted. I’m hoping though that maybe the time apart will help her realize—never mind.” He quickly stuffed a dumpling in his mouth. His statement already sounded foolish in his mind; he could only imagine what Nanna would think if he spoke it out loud. Keeping his mouth busy was a better way to go.
“Help her realize what, James? That you like her and that’s the reason why you’re leaving to go work someplace else?”
He gulped, not missing how illogical her statement was. “Not exactly. More along the lines of helping her realize how much she’ll miss me when I’m gone?” Yep, it did sound as stupid as he thought it would.
Nanna chuckled softly. “Well now, that is one way to go about things. The other, more effective way, however, to winning a woman’s heart is to tell her exactly how you feel. That you don’t want to leave her, but you’re doing it for your future—for both of your futures.” She gave him a pointed look. “Now that’s the way to win Lexi over.”
James almost spit out his food. He loosened his collar with one finger, stretching out the cotton fabric to bring relief to his warm neck. “Who said anything about Lexi?”
“I may be getting old, James Scott, but I’m hardly blind or deaf—yet.”
“She sure ain’t,” Bucky agreed from the other room.
Nanna rolled her eyes. “I’ve seen the way you look at her, like she’s the best thing since the Instant Pot was invented. That’s why I asked her to take your photos. So she’d get a good look at you and realize what a catch you are,” she added with a wink.
He laughe
d uncomfortably. Who knew Nanna had been playing matchmaker? “I appreciate your efforts, Nanna, really I do, but I’m afraid it didn’t work.”
“Didn’t work? Boy, what I did wasn’t magic. You still need to do your part. I gave you an opening. Now you need to convince her you’re the man for her. Unless you want someone else, like a certain Josiah, to sweep her off her feet while you’re gone?”
The mere mention of the young bull rider made James’s shoulders tense. “Do you really think he’s interested in Lexi?”
“You never know. She’s a beautiful, smart woman. I’m sure plenty of the male staff think she’s a good catch.”
The word plenty sent adrenaline pumping through James’s body. Why did he make the decision to leave? But even if he told Lexi how he felt before he went on tour, would she want to wait for him? “I regret taking that job now.”
Nanna reached over to pat his arm. “Well, there’s no time for regrets, James. You just need to make the most of your time before you go. By the way, when are you planning on leaving us?”
“Next Tuesday. Don’t worry, I’ve prepped the kitchen staff already on what needs to be done. And Charlie said she can hire a temp worker to come in on the weekends if needed.”
“Good on you for taking care of everything already. Everything except the most important thing,” she added with a knowing smile. “You promise me you’ll talk to Lexi before you go, you hear?”
“That’s the other matter I wanted to ask you about. I’d like to take her out for her birthday next Monday.”
Nanna beamed, the laugh lines around her eyes deepening. “Now that’s a plan I can get behind. I’ll cover for her in the shop. I hope you have something romantic in mind. Something to sweep Lexi off her feet and right into your arms.”
“She means literally, boy,” Bucky called out. “Your aunt used to love it when I picked her up, before my back gave out.”
“Why is it that man can hear our whole conversation, yet he doesn’t hear me when I ask him to pick his socks up off the floor?” she muttered in dismay.