by Liwen Y. Ho
“Oh yeah, of course. Let me grab them.” He retrieved two cans of coconut water from the bag and handed her one. He also passed her a container of macaroni salad, once again keeping the one marked with an L for himself. “Almost forgot about this.”
“This looks so good,” Lexi remarked as she popped open the lid on her box. “Hey, how come your containers all have a letter on them and mine don’t?”
“Uh, no reason.” James set his container aside and popped open his can. He took a long swig, hoping to avoid answering any more of Lexi’s questions. His face heated as he thought about how embarrassing it would be if she saw the pasta he’d used for the salad originally meant for her.
“You’re hiding something, James. What’s so mysterious about a box of macaroni salad?” Lexi grabbed his container and opened it, brow quirking as she peered inside. “Heart-shaped pasta?”
James choked, swallowing more liquid at once than he intended. He sensed Lexi’s eyes on him, dark and intense. How was he supposed to explain this away? “I had some leftover pasta from our Valentine’s barbeque that I wanted to use up.”
Lexi grew quiet. “Is that the only reason?”
“Yeah, of course.”
She nodded thoughtfully, her features softening. “It’s just that, it was making me wonder if …”
“Wonder what?”
“Nothing, it’s nothing.” She pointed at her salad with her fork and smiled. “This is so good. Everything about this day is wonderful. I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend my birthday than at the beach with my best friend.”
“Me either,” James answered in a heartfelt tone. Their gazes locked, and the tenderness he saw in her eyes made it hard to think straight. He reached out to touch her face, wishing he could capture the look in a timeless photo. Here on the sand with the sound of the waves crashing and the warmth of the sun shining down along the edge of their blanket, things seemed simpler, easier. There was no need for words when one look, one touch said it all. If only they could stay this way. If only—
A loud ringing cut through the peaceful moment. James dropped his hand as Lexi jumped up and searched for her phone in her purse.
“It’s Charlie,” she murmured as she answered the call. “Hey, cuz. What? When? Is she okay?”
James looked to Lexi in concern.
“Okay, we’ll come back now, but it’s going to take us a couple of hours. Can you stay with her until then? Thanks, Charlie,” she added before she hung up.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s my mother. She fainted at lunch. Charlie says she’s okay now, but I’d feel better checking on her myself. I’m sorry to cut our day short, but do you mind if we go back?”
“Of course not. Let’s go.”
James was on his feet, packing everything up. He placed all their half-eaten food back in the bag, next to two unopened containers. Their dessert would have to wait. He needed to get Lexi back to Sage Valley.
17
Lexi
Lexi undid her seatbelt as soon as James parked his truck back at the ranch. She was a jumble of nerves, needing to check on her mother but also concerned about her best friend. He’d been quieter than normal on their drive back from the beach. Only the country tunes on the radio had filled the long stretch of driving.
The silence had given her plenty of time to think though. Had James been trying to tell her something with the food he’d prepared? She could tell from the way he’d blushed at her questions that he was hiding something. And the moment they’d shared before her phone rang … She couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in that beautiful head of his. Did he want more than friendship? Why was it so hard for him to come out and tell her?
But maybe it was better to leave things unsaid. Her life was messy enough as it was. Even now she was still under her mother’s thumb, pinned in place by her expectations. She talked a big talk about taking chances and having no regrets, but she didn’t live that way. Would she ever get to that point?
James turned off the engine and stated, “I’m sorry your birthday didn’t turn out as expected.”
She turned slowly toward him, not wanting their time together to end. “It’s not your fault. Thank you so much, James, for going out of your way and taking the time to plan such a great day for me. I loved seeing the ocean, and the food was amazing. But most of all I enjoyed your company.”
James ducked his head, a small smile spreading across his lips. “It wasn’t a big deal, but I’m glad you were surprised.”
“I was. I really wish we could’ve stayed longer. Maybe we can plan another trip back sometime?”
He hesitated. “Sure, but it’ll have to be later on in the year. The tour starts tomorrow.”
Her heart sank. She couldn’t believe he was leaving so soon. “That’s right.” She let out a heavy breath, her gaze dropping to her hands. “So you have no idea how long you’ll be gone for?”
“Not yet, but I’ll check in on a weekly basis and let Nanna and Bucky know. I’d like to be back before summer rolls around. I know how busy it gets around here.”
She sighed. Speaking of being busy, she didn’t want to think about how occupied James would be on the road, surrounded by enthusiastic band groupies. “Well, I bet the time will pass by for you in a flash with all the places you’ll be going.” She lifted her head, a droll smile on her face. “At least you won’t be lonely with all those pretty young things screaming your name.”
His brows shot up. “You mean the fans? They don’t even know I exist, which is fine by me. You know I’d rather be holed up in the kitchen cooking. I don’t have the time or energy to socialize.”
“Are you serious? You’re more handsome than any of the band members. You should be out there meeting new people.” Lexi cringed even as she spoke the words. She was definitely trying hard to sound unfazed by him leaving. Maybe too hard because his blue eyes suddenly clouded with hurt.
“It sounds like you really want me to go?” James’s voice was soft, unsure.
“You’re only thirty, James. You should have fun. Live it up.”
“I know I’m thirty, which is why I’m done playing around. That’s why I’m taking this job, Lexi, to save up money for the future. I’m ready to settle down.”
She swallowed hard, surprised by the seriousness in his tone. At least one of them had a clear sense of direction. “Good for you, planning ahead.”
“Have you thought more about your plans for the future? Whether you’re going to stick around or …?” James’s voice trailed off as uncertainty left a line between his brows. “Do you think you’ll still be here when I get back?”
“I don’t know. My life is pretty up in the air right now,” Lexi answered, her tone matter-of-fact. What she really wanted to ask was, Do you want me to be here when you get back? She didn’t want to be the reason for stopping James from fulfilling his dreams. She’d already messed up one life—her own. He deserved better. Certainly more than a woman struggling through a midlife crisis with a mother breathing down her neck. “I should probably go see how my mother’s doing. Thanks again for today. Will I see you before you go?”
“I’ve got some last-minute packing to do. Then I need to go over some things with the kitchen staff. It’s probably safer if we say our goodbyes now.”
“Sure, okay.” Lexi reached out with both hands, awkwardly waiting for him to meet her halfway. When he leaned over, she fell into his arms and buried her face in the crook of his neck. She breathed in his familiar masculine scent, trying to store it in her memories for when he was gone. He held her close and still with his chin on the top of her head. His gentle touch broke through all her reserves, and her composure crumpled. Hot tears seared her eyes, falling onto her cheeks before she could even blink. She bit her lower lip to keep from crying out loud, but it wasn’t long before a sob escaped her mouth.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” James pulled back and cradled her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away her tears.<
br />
“I-I just wish I’d met you earlier like ten or fifteen years ago.” She scoffed, calculating their ages in her head. “Okay, not fifteen years … maybe twelve?”
“When I was eighteen? Why?”
“Life probably would’ve turned out differently for me.” Sniffing, she gave him a wistful smile. “It’s too late now. You can’t just start over at age forty. Oh my goodness, I’m forty years old, and I’m a mess.”
“Hey, no, you’re not. You’re beautiful, inside and out.”
“James, you don’t have to say that.” She took his hands from her face and held them in her lap. She shook her head at his undeserved kindness. “You don’t have to lie because it’s my birthday.”
“It’s the truth, Lexi. I know I don’t say much, but I mean what I say.” His voice grew husky with emotion. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Any man would be lucky …”
Lexi held her breath, waiting for him to finish his sentence. His eyes zeroed in on her mouth, and she was sure he was going to kiss her.
He suddenly let go of her hands. “Your mom—I think she’s looking for you.” He nodded to her passenger side window and cleared his throat.
She jumped in her seat as a knock sounded on the glass. One turn of her head brought her face-to-face with the disgruntled expression on her mother’s face. She held up a finger and mouthed the words, One second.
Mrs. Turner’s dark brown eyes were bright with awareness as they narrowed at Lexi. She stepped back and crossed her arms as she waited.
Lexi turned back to James. “I think she’s feeling better now.” Perhaps, better wasn’t the right word because her mother looked anything but pleased. Lexi wondered what she was going to criticize her about today. “I should go. Please take care of yourself.” She squeezed out a smile for him. There were so many things she wished she could say, but now wasn’t the time. She would have to save them up for when—or if—James ever returned to Sage Valley.
“You, too, Lexi. Stay in touch?”
“Sure. Bye, James,” she managed to utter as she opened her door. Just as she was about to step out, James placed a hand on her arm.
“Wait, I almost forgot about dessert.” He reached into the back seat of the truck and pulled out a brown paper bag. “Here. You should put it in the fridge if you don’t plan on eating it soon.”
“Thanks, James.” She took the bag from him, her skin tingling as her fingers brushed against his for one sweet second. “Thank you for everything.”
“My pleasure. Happy birthday.”
Lexi hopped out of the truck, her flip-flops landing in the dirt with a soft thud. Her heart heavy, she walked away from the one man who made her happy. She forced herself to not look back, knowing that doing so would start the tears falling. Instead, she picked up her chin, ready and determined to face her mother.
18
James
James hitched the strap of his duffel bag onto his shoulder as he boarded a large tour bus in Austin. He’d driven an hour to meet up with the band who was headed to Houston for a show that night. The interior of the vehicle was as he remembered, brightly lit overhead with wooden paneling all around and shiny tile flooring. Four young men in jeans and T-shirts lounged on the leather sofas that faced each other on both sides of the bus. They were all focused on a large flat-screen TV, playing a video game with loud explosions. The smell of fresh coffee filled James’s nose, letting him know the guys were likely recovering from a late night. He edged his way along the narrow walkway, tipping his hat in greeting at the tour manager, a young redheaded woman, who sat near the front of the bus.
“James, you made it!” Adam, the lead singer, called out. He walked over and gave James a quick handshake. “I’m so glad you’re here. We’ve been eating junk the last two weeks. You think you can whip us up some green smoothies?”
James set down his bag and Stetson, ready to roll up his sleeves. The bus had barely started moving, but he was already set to work. Even though there were fewer mouths to feed here than at Sage Valley, he’d need to put in more time and effort to make sure everything he made was up to par. Celebrities were a different breed from ranchers. “Sure thing. Coming right up.”
While Adam returned to the video game, James got started on the drinks. For a mobile kitchen, the setup on the bus had everything he needed and more. From the refrigerator, he got out some kale, spinach, and frozen fruit that the tour manager had stocked up for him. He threw all the ingredients into the large blender and turned it on, watching as the food turned a vibrant shade of green.
While he waited, James pulled out his phone and checked his messages. He had texted Lexi right before he left to say goodbye. He’d hoped she would have replied by now, but only the screensaver photo appeared on the screen. It was a photo she had taken of the two of them a few months ago at his birthday dinner. She’d surprised him by taking him line dancing. It was one of his best memories from this past year. He sighed, wishing the birthday celebration he had planned for her yesterday could have been just as memorable.
He’d been so close to telling her how he felt. The moment had seemed so right, and the hopeful look in her eyes had just about convinced him that she might feel something more for him, too. But the timing had been completely off. Seeing Lexi’s mother outside her window was a big wake-up call. He couldn’t start something with Lexi when he was leaving on tour. Part of him was thankful they’d been interrupted before he said or did something he’d regret.
But, oh, how he missed her.
“James!”
James looked up to find all four guys from the band calling out to him. They pointed at the blender and gave him thumbs-ups to let him know the smoothies were ready. He quickly shut the machine off. Once the loud whirring noise stopped, he could hear the guys laughing as they shook their heads in disbelief. How long had they been calling out to him? His face heated as he put his phone into his back pocket. “Sorry, guys, I got distracted. Let me get these drinks to you.” He poured the smoothies out into four tall glasses and handed them to the guys.
Adam thanked him and asked, “So, are you gonna tell us what her name is?”
“What?”
“The girl you were thinking about.” Adam winked. “Whoever it was that made you forget about our smoothies.”
James laughed uncomfortably. “I … was it that obvious?”
“Oh yeah. She must be one heck of a woman to get you that distracted. Let’s see her photo.”
He pulled his phone out again and turned the display in Adam’s direction.
Adam whistled appreciatively. “Dang, she’s hot. Where’d you meet her?”
“On the ranch. She moved to Sage Valley a year ago. We’re best friends.”
“Best friends—right. That’s about as true as the idea that I actually like green smoothies,” he ribbed, elbowing James. “We both know you want her as much as I want a big chocolate donut right now.”
James scoffed softly. Adam was right on both counts. His weakness was sweets, while James’s was Lexi. He couldn’t cure his own problems right now, but he could at least help Adam with his. “You’re in luck. I actually have some malasadas that I made yesterday.”
“Mala—what?”
“Malasadas. Portuguese donuts that are popular in Hawaii. Lexi—my friend’s—birthday was yesterday, and I made her some. I brought the extras if you guys want them.”
Adam’s green eyes grew wide. “Yes, of course. Bring ’em here.”
James grabbed his duffel bag and unzipped it. He pulled out the paper bag he’d kept for himself after the beach trip, wondering if Lexi had eaten her share yet. He had remembered her mentioning them before and thought they’d be the perfect dessert for her birthday. Thankfully, he’d given them to her before she got out of the truck yesterday.
He pulled the container from the bag and almost dropped the whole thing. His whole body tensed when he spotted the lid. It couldn’t be. Where was the letter L that he’d w
ritten on top with black marker? He opened the box, hoping to see four heart-shaped golden brown malasadas sprinkled with powdered sugar inside. Instead, four round ones stared back at him.
His heart stopped. He’d given Lexi the wrong container.
“What’s wrong, man?” Adam looked at him curiously. “You look like you just saw something you wish you hadn’t.”
“You could say that again.”
“Don’t tell me there’s something wrong with my donuts.”
“No, they’re fine.” James blew out a heavy breath as he handed the container to Adam. “Help yourselves. I need to make a call.”
“All right, man, thanks.”
James walked away, running his hands through his hair. How likely was it that Lexi had already opened her container? If she had and had already gotten to the bottom of the box … His heart clenched. If the note he’d left there was the reason why she wasn’t replying to his texts, he’d really gone and messed up their friendship. What could he do now besides wait?
“Just do it, man!”
James turned around to find Adam with his brows raised in an exasperated look. “Do what?”
“Call her. If she’s the one you want, you gotta tell her. How else will you know if she’ll be waiting for you when you get back?”
James gulped. That was the very thing he was afraid of. It was now or never. All or nothing. He needed to come clean. Picking up his phone, he dialed Lexi’s number. After a few rings, the call went to voicemail.
Howdy, you’ve reached Lexi. Leave me a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I finish my bowl of chili. Thanks for your patience. You know I’d do the same for you, because friends don’t let friends eat their chili cold!
“Hey, uh, Lexi.” James’s voice faltered as he continued, “How are you? I was just wondering if you’d eaten the dessert I gave you? If you haven’t yet, maybe you could just toss the container, and I’ll make you a fresh batch when I’m back home. But if you have eaten them and happened to see the, uh, note at the bottom of the box, and read it already—” He rolled his eyes, frustrated by the jumble of words coming out of his mouth. “Just give me a call when you get this message. Please. I need to clear some things up. Thanks.”