Firstly, I must start with the team at Little, Brown Book Group for being directly responsible for making Feel Good 101 everything that I envisioned it to be, including Aimee Kitson, Clara Diaz and Nico Taylor. Their constant help and guidance has been nothing short of wonderful and has made writing this book a wonderful experience! A special thank you must go to Hannah Boursnell, the truest of all of the babes, who has worked tirelessly with me from the very conception of this book to make it what it is today. Thank you for putting up with my stubbornness, pleas to extend deadlines and awful jokes. This book would not exist without you, or at least, if it did, it would be right shit.
Thank you to my wonderful book agent, Richard Pike at Conville and Walsh, for always pushing to get the most from me, and for doing all of the things that my brain simply just does not have the capacity to do – on top of coping with sleepless nights with a newborn baby! You are an everyday hero.
Mark Walker – truly, I do not know where I would be without your support, love and guidance as my manager. You have to put up with so much of my shit. I’m short-tempered, always flipflopping between ideas and always late – and you’re still here, putting your faith in me each and every day and working until the early hours to make my life better. As well as being an incredible manager, you are one of my closest friends. Thank you for everything you do, from the bottom of my heart.
To my wonderful parents – I’m sorry for being a bit difficult through the teenage years. I hope I’ve made up for it all by now, and I aim to make you proud of me each and every day. To my mother Sheila, who always manages to tackle adversity and hardships with a smile on her face – despite all that we have been through together, I am so happy that we came out of the other side much closer and also much stronger. To my wonderful dad, Michael – my best friend in the entire world, and the human I look up to the most in the world – I have said this to you many times now, but if I ever manage to become just half of the strong, loving, dedicated, carefree person that you have always been towards me, then I will be happy. I am forever proud to be a Blackery. I love you both so much, and your unwavering love and support of every decision I have made (except the Madonna piercing, I guess) have made me into the person I am today. If you think I suck, well, that’s well and truly on you.
To my sister Febe and my brother Travis – this book, as I write it, is filled with life lessons that you have yet to learn. Not everything in this book will make sense to you right now, but when you come across hardship, my stories will be here waiting for you, even if I am thousands of miles away. You are both such good kids – please don’t ever lose your curiosity and optimistic outlook on life. Those two things will be essential in making you happy. I love you both so much, and I just know you will both grow up to make me incredibly proud – follow your heart at all costs, chase your dreams, and never give up, even when that’s what people want you to do.
To my best friend Leesa, my partner-in-crime at school when I needed you the most – I was truly lost without you, and although we can’t see each other as often as we’d like, I know that you are always there for me, and I hope you know that I am always going to be there for you, too. Thank you for fourteen years of stupid inside jokes and for having my back in the most stressful of situations. I didn’t tell the story about the time I walked out of school and had the police called, did I . . .? Oh, well. I guess I’ll just have to write another book and tell everyone how wonderful you truly are!
To Lily Melrose – our shared jokes are a little too explicit to put in this book. Thank you for truly teaching me what it means to not worry about the little things that don’t matter. Before we became friends, I was a real worrywart, but you are helping to shape me into a happier, more carefree person each and every day. Thank you for sitting up until 4 a.m. with me every few weeks to watch wrestling live on TV, thanks for always coming out for bubble tea with me when I need to vent about something, and thanks for being my friend. You make me feel cool.
Carrie Hope Fletcher – not gonna lie, I’m putting you in my thank-yous simply because you didn’t put me in your thank-yous for All I Know Now and I just wanted to make you feel bad. I’m kidding (sort of) – you know very well that it was your advice book back in 2015 that made me realise that writing a book was something that wasn’t entirely out of my grasp, and as well as being a wonderful source of inspiration, you’re also a wonderful friend. Okay, so you never ever stop working (I’m pretty sure your eighth book is sitting next to my first) and you’re truly batshit, but I absolutely adore you with all of my heart. You have been through so much, more than many know, and yet your unrelenting smile still lights up every room you walk into. Although this entire book was written around self-acceptance – if I could be more like any other human in the world, I would choose you. I love you.
To Luke Cutforth – my dearest Luke. We have been through so much, both together and apart. So much has changed both between us and all around us since I first made a fan video mentioning you in 2012. We have made each other’s dreams come true. If it wasn’t for you telling me to take my love of music seriously in 2013, I absolutely would not be where I am today. I would not have released five EPs in five years, I would not have toured arenas with Busted, and I wouldn’t have headlined Shepherd’s Bush Empire – and you’ve been there at every tour supporting me. You were there when I shaved all of my hair off, you were there when I fell out with friends and family, you were there through my nagging and shouting, and continue to be there for me whenever I need you. I will be there for you for as long as you need me, watching you chase your own dreams as you did for me. Thank you for changing my life for the better.
To Gerard Groves, Arthur Walwin, Cherry Wallis, Felix Kjellberg, Marzia Bisognin, PJ Ligouri, Sophie Newton, Jon Barker, Tessa Violet, Dodie Clark, Zoe Sugg and Alfie Deyes – I am so grateful to have you as friends I can count on when I have a problem. Please know that I am there for you too, any time you need me. I spent many years of my life feeling as though I had no friends – you are all the reason I no longer feel that way. Thank you.
To the YouTube creators that first inspired me to put my heart and soul into making videos – Daniel Howell, Phil Lester, Charlie McDonnell, Carrie Hope Fletcher, Ray William Johnson, Shane Dawson and Smosh – you indirectly changed my entire life. Thank you for daring to put your life out there when YouTube was uncharted territory, and thank you for inspiring so many others to do the same. I would not be here if it wasn’t for all of you.
Of course, to my subscribers – I’m sorry that I never gave us a cool clique name. Nothing ever sounds good. The Blackberries? The . . . Feel Gooders? We trialled The Fighters once, and I definitely think that fits us the most. When I was younger and going through most of the hardships in this book, I felt as though I didn’t have anyone I could talk to that wasn’t under the age of forty. If I have ever made you feel less alone in your battles, then everything I do is worth it. Thank you for always being there, whether you’ve been with me for five days or five years – my life is only the joy it is now because of your unwavering support. Thank you for reading my book. I truly hope with all of my heart that you enjoyed it.
And last but not least . . . to my younger self. We went through some shit, man. We cried a lot, got called a lot of names and often felt weak and alone. Thank you for sticking with the course, refusing to give up entirely and allowing me to blossom from you. I know that I am a completely different person in an entirely different place to what you imagined for me at this stage in my life, but we’re doing good, kid. We’re happy. We have friends. We feel good.
And we wrote a book!
Photo credits
first page:
Middle, right – Emma and her father on stage at Summer in the City after shaving her head for charity, 2014, by LBPhoto.UK Middle, left – Emma on stage in Dublin for the Busted tour, 2016, by Jane Greenwood
Bottom, centre – Emma on stage at Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Magnetised Tour, 2017, by Mark Walker
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All other photos from Emma Blackery’s personal collection
Feel Good 101_The Outsiders' Guide to a Happier Life Page 22