I was surprised to see Cameron waiting in the hallway outside my room.
“Why didn’t you knock on my door?” I asked.
“I didn’t want to bother you while you were getting ready. But I did want to do this.”
He gave me a soft kiss.
I could hear some doors slamming down the hall, so I pulled away. “We’d better get the kids gathered and on the bus.”
Trying to get six kids and their overnight bags onto the bus was challenging. Add in the other counselors and their kids and it turned into a nightmare.
Dr. Jones’s whistle blew amidst the chaos and everyone froze. “This is not acceptable behavior,” she yelled. “I want everyone to stow his or her bags either above the seat or below it. And unless you want me to assign seats, you’ll do so in an orderly fashion.”
We all looked at each other before anyone moved. Then Sofia and Antonio moved toward the back of the bus and began helping their kids get their belongings organized. The other counselors followed suit.
Our kids ended up being in the middle of the bus. Cameron grabbed a bag from Savannah that looked like it was about to topple over on her as she tried to lift it over her head.
“What have you got in here?” Cameron asked.
She rolled her eyes. “We’re going to New York. I’ve got to look good.”
“We’re going for two days,” he reminded her. “And you’re already wearing something for day one.”
Grace laughed but waited for him to help her with her bag, which was apparently just as heavy as Savannah’s.
When I glanced at Destiny, she only had a small backpack over her shoulder. “Traveling light?” I asked.
She shrugged. “I’ve been to New York City quite a few times. It’s not a big deal.”
“Maybe you can be a guide for some of the other students then,” I suggested. “Most of them haven’t been out of New Jersey.”
“You’re assuming they care anything about what I have to say. Bad assumption.”
“What about Lyle? I bet he’d appreciate your expertise.”
Lyle, who was sitting just one row back, looked up at us. “Who wouldn’t want a personal tour guide?” he grinned.
“Okay, fine. I’ll do it. But only because Lyle flashed his dimples.”
His grin grew wider, accentuating his dimples even more. “They are irresistible, aren’t they?”
“Don’t get a big head,” Destiny warned as she took the seat next to him. “That doesn’t mean I think you’re cute or anything.”
“You know I love you but you’re not my type. Maybe if you had a brother—”
“I do have a brother. He’s a sophomore. But he likes girls.”
Lyle shook his head. “The cute guys usually do.”
When all the kids were finally situated and in their seats, Dr. Jones gave her standard lecture about the do’s and don’ts of the trip. “Remember, stay with your group. No one is allowed to go anywhere alone. Is that clear?”
“Yes, Dr. Jones,” everyone responded in unison.
“And don’t think I won’t do random room checks in the middle of the night to make sure everyone is in their assigned rooms.”
I swear Dr. Jones looked right at me and Cameron. Or maybe I was already feeling guilty about my desire to be in his room in the middle of the night. Sofia and I were assigned to share a hotel room as were Cameron and Antonio. I had a feeling there would definitely be some switching around in the middle of the night.
***
The bus dropped us off at Battery Park to catch a ferry to Ellis Island. From the research I had done I already knew that 12 million immigrants entered the United States through Ellis Island, and the descendants of those immigrants accounted for nearly half of the American population.
The thing I liked most about the first part of our tour was that it allowed us to recreate the immigrant experience as if we had just landed on the island from the “old world.” After our formal tour, we were given time to examine the many exhibits, artifacts and displays that chronicle the immigrant experience throughout America’s relatively short history.
The kids seemed really engaged in learning about Ellis Island and the immigrant experience, so I breathed a small sigh of relief that I could relax and enjoy the historical site myself for a few minutes. That’s when I felt someone come up behind me. Without turning around, I instinctively knew it was Cameron. The connection that was building between us was so palpable.
“I wish I knew more about my family history,” Cameron said. He was so close, I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.
“Me, too,” I admitted.
Cameron being so close, and feeling the warmth from his body, seemed to put me under some kind of a spell. I suddenly couldn’t think of anything except having more of him—his lips on my lips, his hands on my body, my hands on his body. My mind protested and called me a traitor. I was not supposed to be with the enemy. But my body didn’t care. My body wanted Cameron. At that moment my body craved intimacy with a guy I once hated. How was that possible? Did I still hate Cameron? Or did I love him? Or both? As Sophia reminded me, “There’s a fine line between love and hate.” I had never really understood what the saying meant, until now.
When Cameron breathed me in, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck all stand at attention and a quick shiver run through me.
“Cold?” he quipped, even though he knew full well the effect he was having on me.
“The opposite,” I whispered.
“Oh, you’re hot for me?” he whispered back.
I glanced around to make sure no one was watching us. All the other students and counselors seemed to be preoccupied with the exhibits. Even Dr. Jones was intently examining one of the displays.
“Do you know how hard it is for me to keep my hands off of you?” Cameron asked.
I turned to face him and I saw desire in his eyes that was so intense, my breath caught. “I have an idea,” I managed to say.
“Good,” he stated. “You need to know how I feel about you. And I want you to think seriously about how you’re going to handle it.
I gulped. Sometimes I felt like he was reading my mind.
“When’s lunch?” a male voice stated as Lyle made his way over to us. “I’m starving already.”
I frowned. “Not until after the tour. We’ve still got another forty-five minutes at least.”
Lyle heaved an exaggerated sigh, as if we were torturing him. “What did Dr. Jones say about those sighs?” I admonished.
“I’m sorry,” Lyle replied. “I must be going through another growth spurt. I’m starving all the time.”
“Let’s go see what Dr. Jones has in mind for lunch,” I suggested. “Maybe if you know what the plan is, you’ll have something to look forward to.”
Lyle smiled and the three of us headed over to see Dr. Jones.
***
After a quick lunch at Subway, which Antonio loved and Lyle seemed satisfied with, we headed to our hotel. Dr. Jones told us that the hotel gave a discount rate to students and I could see why. The place had probably been in its heyday in the 1940s and looked like it hadn’t been updated much since then. Luckily all of the kids in our group had rooms on the same floor, as did those in Sofia and Antonio’s group.
“I just want to remind you that we will be doing room checks throughout the night,” Antonio announced as the kids scurried around to find their rooms.
When I glanced over at Ryan and Hunter they were both grinning like the Cheshire cat.
“I know it’s tempting to want to sneak out, or party in your rooms,” Antonio continued. “Believe me, it wasn’t that long ago that I was in high school. But you know how Dr. Jones is and you know she’ll put you and your stuff in a taxi back to Jersey, no questions asked. You’ve all been warned.”
Grace and Savannah eyed each other and giggled. I had a feeling we were going to have our hands full tonight. The four of us trying to keep all of the teens out of trou
ble in the middle of New York seemed like an arduous task, kind of like putting a pack of dogs into the middle of a butcher’s shop and trying to keep them away from the meat.
Once everyone was in their assigned rooms, we had a little break before it was time to take the kids to dinner.
“Do you mind if I go over to Antonio’s room for a few minutes,” Sofia asked as she applied lipstick at the mirror over the desk. “Maybe I can talk Cameron into coming over here to keep you company. Although, I don’t think it would take much convincing.”
“I’m still not sure what we’re doing is right,” I admitted.
When Sofia turned back to face me, her brows were furrowed. “Why?”
“I just can’t get over the idea that somehow I’m betraying Alex by getting involved with Cameron.”
“Do you think it’s fair to punish Cameron his entire life for the mistakes he made in high school? Should you be punished? You can’t keep living in the past, Dee Dee. Cameron seems like he’s changed. He seems to be genuinely sorry for what he did. Do you really think he knew what Alex was going to do? Do you really think he would have said and done the things he did if he had known?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“I think you should give him a chance. You should give whatever is developing between the two of you a chance.”
“Okay,” I said finally.
“I’ll send Cameron over,” Sofia offered as she headed towards the door. “I don’t know how you can resist those sexy green eyes of his. That boy is fine.”
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and I let Cameron in. He did look fine in his jeans and polo shirt. The moment he saw me, he pulled me into his muscular arms. I could feel his heart pounding as I laid my head on his chest.
“Nervous?” I asked.
“I’m always nervous around you,” he admitted.
“Why?”
“Because I keep thinking this is all a dream and I’ll wake up and you’ll still hate me.”
I looked into his eyes. I wanted to tell him that I had never hated him but it would have been a lie. There was a time when I’d despised the very thought of him. It seemed like such a long time ago, now that I was in his arms.
“You’re the one who keeps telling me we have to let go of the past,” I said.
“Maybe this will help.” He placed a soft kiss on my lips.
“It does,” I said. “Do you want to sit down?” I grabbed his hand and pulled him over to my bed.
We both sat down and looked at each other for a few moments. It was still hard to believe we had gotten to this place considering our past. I placed my finger on the scar over his left eye and Cameron inhaled sharply. I carefully ran my finger over the length of it. “When are you going to tell me how you got this?” I asked.
I don’t know why but I had a strong feeling that ugly scar held the key to something important. Important pieces to the Cameron puzzle that I was still missing.
He grabbed my wrist and stopped my finger right before I had a chance to run it back over the scar again. “Not now,” he said softly.
He put my hand to his mouth and kissed my fingers. “I’m not ready.”
His words were so solemn, they took my breath away. “Okay,” was all I could mumble. His unwillingness to share that part of himself with me was disconcerting.
“It’s not that I don’t want to.” His expression now looked pained. He inhaled and continued. “I’ve never told anyone, except my counselor.”
“Not even your parents?”
He shook his head.
I looked at the scar again. It was long and deep. It had obviously required stitches. How was it possible that he hadn’t told them about it?
As if anticipating my next question, Cameron said, “They don’t know the truth. I told them I got hit with a basketball and they believed me.”
The scar didn’t look like something a basketball could do. It looked too jagged and deep.
“It was obviously a story they wanted to believe,” I said.
“I guess so.”
I put my fingers on it again and felt its rough and uneven surface. Cameron closed his eyes as he let me continue to caress his face. He took a long deep breath as I touched his cheek and then his chin.
“Your hands are so warm and so soft,” he muttered.
I placed both of my hands on either side of his face and held him for a moment until his breathing was slow and steady. Then I brought my lips to his and gently placed my mouth on his.
When his eyes opened they were filled with emotion. He swallowed, as if he was trying to gulp back the tears that were threatening to surface.
“It’s okay,” I whispered then kissed him again. This time he responded and deepened the kiss.
He pulled me close and ravaged me with his hungry lips and tongue. He didn’t stop until we were both breathless.
“We still have to take the kids to dinner,” he said as his eyes searched the room for the clock. “Two minutes ago.”
We both jumped from the bed in a panic.
“I’m surprised there were no hungry kids knocking on the door,” he joked.
“And what about Sofia and Antonio?” I asked. “They’re never late.”
He gave me a sly grin. “I have a feeling they were probably doing the same thing we were doing.”
***
Dinner was at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet on the edge of China town. The kids loved the idea of all-you-can-eat and I was so hungry the idea was appealing to me as well.
When we sat at the large table with the other counselors, I noticed that Antonio only had spareribs on his plate.
“Eating light?” I asked.
He looked up from his plate and glared at me. “Chinese isn’t really my thing.”
“You could be the first person I’ve ever met who doesn’t like Chinese food,” I replied.
“I know right,” Sofia agreed. “It seems un-American.”
Cameron laughed. “How can it be un-American not to like Chinese food?”
Sofia gave him a look like he was insane. “We were just at Ellis Island and you have to ask that question. We’re a nation of immigrants.”
Cameron nodded. “I see your point—I guess. Even though it’s vague at best, it’s still a point.”
“Whatever,” Sofia chided. “Dee Dee knew what I meant.”
I shook my head. “Don’t put me in the middle. I don’t want to have to take sides.”
“I would have been perfectly content going to Subway again,” Antonio huffed.
“Poor, baby,” Sofia teased as she placed her arm on his shoulder. “He gets cranky when he doesn’t get his Subway fix.”
I felt a hand rest on my thigh. When I glanced over at Cameron, he gave me a sly grin.
I leaned over and whispered, “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?” he said in mock innocence.
I grabbed his hand in mine and held it. “That’s a little better.”
“But not nearly as much fun,” he quipped.
***
After we did a final bed check and saw that every kid was in the right room and accounted for, Cameron and I made sure no one was looking before we both snuck into my room. Sofia had already made it clear she was spending the night in Antonio’s room, so I had Cameron in mine by default. I wasn’t sure exactly what Cameron was thinking but the room did have two double beds, just in case.
But what was I thinking? Was I actually considering having sex with Cameron? It was a big step. The only guy I had ever been with was Mason, my high school boyfriend. Cameron had been with Rachel just a couple of weeks ago. It made me wonder how many girls he had been with. I assumed quite a few considering his history in high school. I didn’t want to be another check mark on what could have been a long list of them.
Cameron bent down next to the nightstand and turned on the radio. He fiddled with it until he found a classic rock station. “Let’s see if they play any of your To
p Three favorites,” he said.
He flopped on to the bed closest to the door and rolled on his side, his head propped up with his elbow. “Care to join me?” he asked.
We were both fully clothed, so I didn’t think things would go too far, but I got extremely nervous anyway. A big part of me wanted to be with Cameron but a small part of me was still afraid of fully engaging.
I crawled onto the bed and lay next to him. His stunning green eyes were filled with tenderness. “I could just look at you all night and it would be enough.”
Small shivers ran through me as he softly caressed my face the way I had caressed his earlier. He leaned down and placed his mouth on mine. His first kiss was tender and sweet. He tasted like spearmint gum. Then he pulled me closer, so our bodies were touching, and his kisses became more intense and filled with desire.
As he pulled me close and our bodies met, only our clothes separated us. I could feel his erection growing hard against me and it both excited and scared me.
“I want you, Dee Dee,” he whispered in my ear. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you.”
I was lost in a torrent of emotion as he kissed me and caressed me and his desire for me grew.
“Yes,” I whispered so softly, I wasn’t sure the word had actually come out of my mouth.
“Tell me what you want, Dee Dee. Do you want me?”
“I want you,” I said, this time with more conviction.
He looked into my eyes. “Are you sure? You really want me? You have to be sure.”
I gulped. “I’m sure.”
His eyes glistened with that glorious sparkle that I adored and a small smile formed in the corner of his mouth. He kissed me, then began to slowly unbutton my shirt. He followed each button with a butterfly kiss, first on my collar bone followed by kisses all the way down my chest. With each light kiss, shivers ran through me until every nerve ending in my body was aroused and on high alert.
Just as he was about to undue the top button of my jeans, we heard a blood-curdling scream from the hallway followed by several doors slamming.
After Alex Died Page 10