by James Roy
Edsel was in the Common Room with Ben and Jacq, and some of the other bigger kids. He’d just told them about his decision to stay in Verdada permanently, and they were congratulating him. And it felt strange. Best of all, they didn’t seem to be pretending to be excited – they seemed genuinely happy that he’d decided to stay. It made him feel popular, and with the exception of the little kids back in West Malaise going all hyper about a pretend spaceship and a helmet covered with cooking foil, he’d never felt popular before.
‘I can remember when I decided to stay,’ one boy was saying.
‘I can’t,’ a girl added.
‘Of course you do. Remember how you cried for that whole week, and on the last day you stopped, and said you were staying?’
‘I didn’t cry!’
‘Yes, you did!’
‘You did,’ said a second girl. ‘I remember it because I was sharing a room with you, and you kept me awake with your sniffing and stuff.’
‘I don’t think I’ll cry,’ Edsel said. ‘I’m really happy. I’m not going to get homesick. In fact, I can hardly even remember what home was like.’ As he finished the sentence, he saw Jacq watching him from the side of the room, with her arms folded.
‘So, Robert, when will you sort your first crate?’ asked a boy with skin so black it almost appeared blue. Raised welts crossed both his cheeks, and ran down his arms from under his sleeves.
‘Tomorrow. I can’t wait, to be honest. It should be fun.’
‘That’s very good,’ the boy said, in a lilting voice that seemed unusually deep for someone so young. ‘You will have a very enjoyable week, I am sure.’
‘Thanks. What’s your name again? Sorry, I forget names—’
‘Kasep.’
‘Kasep. I’ll try to remember it.’
‘And I’m Hashim,’ said his friend, whose skin was dark, but nowhere near as black as Kasep’s.
‘Hashim and Kasep,’ Edsel repeated. ‘I’ll learn your names, I promise.’
Gradually the kids began to drift away, until the only one left was Jacq, still sitting on the arm of a chair.
‘I might not be the brightest kid in the world – or in Verdada – but I don’t think I’d have done that,’ she said, shaking her head slowly.
‘Done what?’
‘Just come out and agreed to stay on your second day. I mean, you haven’t even done a crate yet.’
Edsel shrugged. ‘It felt good to make a decision. Any way, everyone was telling me what a great place this is. So I trusted them.’
‘Why would you do something stupid like that?’
‘So what are you telling me, Jacq – that I shouldn’t have agreed to stay?’
‘No, I’m glad you’re staying. We’ve only known one another for a day or so, but I think I’d miss you if you went back. But to just jump in like that …’ She shook her head again, smiling wryly. ‘I still can’t believe it.’
‘Well, believe it. Do you want a game of table tennis? To celebrate?’
Jacq stood up. ‘Sure, if that’s how you like to celebrate.’
The games room was empty, so they put some music on, then chose the table nearest the window, where the natural light was best. Edsel had never been terribly good at table tennis, but he found now that he was better than he’d expected to be. Except in a way, he did expect to be. And feeling like he could do something new and be good enough to enjoy it made him immediately glad of the decision he’d made, even if a nagging thought told him that Jacq might have been right.
‘I want to ask you something, Jacq,’ he said as the little white ball lobbed back and forth between them.
‘Sure, what is it?’
‘The Mira.’
‘What about them?’
‘Who are they? The Charter doesn’t say very much.’
Jacq caught the ball. ‘You don’t need to know.’
‘Just because I don’t need to know doesn’t mean I can’t want to know.’
‘I guess that’s true.’
‘So who are they?’
Jacq served. ‘I don’t know. I’ve never met them.’
‘How many of them are there?’ Edsel asked, hitting the ball back.
‘I don’t know.’
‘Does anyone?’
‘Sure, I guess. Richard probably knows.’
‘Yeah, and what’s Richard’s story?’
Jacq swung but missed the ball as Edsel’s shot just caught the edge of the table. ‘I haven’t got a clue, I doubt I’ll ever find out, and in the end, what does it matter?’
‘It doesn’t, I guess. But he seems nice.’
‘Richard? He is nice.’
‘But I find Man a bit weird, to be honest.’
‘Man’s harmless. You see him around, but he’s just there to deliver messages and that kind of thing.’
Edsel changed the subject slightly. ‘You know, Richard said I didn’t need to choose my Desire just yet. Cool, huh?’
‘Sensible, I’d have said. Do you have any idea what it’s going to be?’ she asked, serving again.
‘Not really. I haven’t really even thought about it. I mean, what kind of things do people choose?’
Jacq stopped and stared at him, as the ball bounced past her and landed on the floor. ‘You haven’t even thought about it? But you’ve agreed to stay?’
‘Yes. Why? What’s wrong with that?’
‘Because most people know what they want before they say they’ll hang around!’
‘Well, what do they choose?’ he asked again.
‘Let’s ask these two,’ she said as Kasep and Hashim wandered into the room with milkshakes in tall metal cups, and sat down at a low table to play checkers. ‘Kasep, what did you choose when you arrived?’
‘Should we be …’
‘It’s okay,’ she said.
‘What was my Desire? I chose to stay,’ Kasep replied. ‘That was what I wished for, and by staying, that is what I got.’
‘Me too,’ Hashim added. ‘My Desire was to remain here. I like it here very much.’
‘All right, and what did you want?’ Edsel asked Jacq.
‘It’s kind of personal, and I’d rather not say.’
‘Okay, but did you get it?’
‘It’s hard to know. It’s kind of complicated. But the thing is, I knew at the very beginning. So did Ben, and so did most of the others here. We all knew before we agreed to stay.’
Edsel placed the bat on the table and sank into one of the deep, soft armchairs. ‘The thing is, what I think I want seems … well, kind of lame.’
Jacq sat down opposite him. ‘What is it? I’ll tell you if it’s lame or not.’
‘I think I just want to be able to do stuff.’
Jacq waited. Then, when Edsel didn’t say anything else for a while, she asked him, ‘Any particular stuff or just stuff?’
‘Normal things, I guess. You know, like other kids do. Go and stay at friends’ places, stay outside after the sun’s gone down, sleep with the window open without worrying about catching pneumonia, eat food made by someone other than my mother without worrying about it poisoning me. Is that weird?’
Jacq smiled. ‘The things you’ve just told me, or wanting to be free of those things?’
‘The second one.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t think it’s weird. But I wouldn’t put that down as your Heart’s Greatest Desire. Not until you’re totally sure, anyway. Another game?’
Edsel stood up. ‘Sure,’ he said, picking up his bat. ‘I’m getting good at this table tennis business.’
Edsel awoke easily again the following day, and was showered and dressed even before Toby was out of bed. After a breakfast of banana pancakes and a chocolate milkshake, he and Jacq went to the noticeboard near the front door of the Domus to see where he’d be working for his first day sorting.
He started at the Gs, looking for Grizzler. He wasn’t there.
‘It’s alphabetical,’ Jacq said.
‘I k
now that! And I’m telling you, there’s no Grizzler!’
‘Isn’t your last name Armandine?’
He smiled. She was right, and once he started looking under the As, he found his name. And beside it was written E15 – Computer Games.
‘Have a great time,’ Jacq said. ‘We can meet up afterwards and do something fun.’
‘Sounds good,’ he replied, trying to sound confident, and failing.
‘Don’t be nervous,’ she said. ‘It’s a piece of cake.’
It wasn’t hard to find the cubicle with E15 beside the door. He was the first one there, and he sat down in one of the three chairs and waited. And while he waited, he looked around. Bright morning light poured in through the glass roof of the hall, and he could hear kids chattering in the adjoining cubicles. He saw a boy he recognised in the space directly across the hall and waved. It felt good to interact with someone; it distracted him and took away some of the nerves. It hadn’t been until he’d woken up that he’d properly realised what he’d done. And yet it was done, and it was time to get on with things.
Each of the three chairs in the cubicle had a barcode scanner attached to it, identical to the one he’d trained with. A conveyor ran along past the chairs, and three large plastic crates were on the floor, one beside each of the chairs. The crate with Robert Armandine’s name on the lid was beside one of the other chairs, and not wanting to screw things up any more than he probably would on his first day, he switched seats, and waited some more.
A few minutes later two boys walked in. He’d seen them around, but he couldn’t remember their names. ‘Hi,’ he said. ‘I’m Robert.’
‘The new guy?’ asked one of the boys.
‘That’s me. It’s my first day.’
‘I’m Kane, and this is Lincoln. And you’ve got a fun one to start with. Computer games are my favourite.’
‘Mine too,’ said Lincoln, who was a little younger than Kane, and he swivelled back and forth in his chair. ‘Oo, here we go,’ he said as a buzzer sounded overhead.
‘What do we do?’
‘Have you typed your code into your scanner?’
‘Not yet.’
‘Well, do that, then open your box and start,’ Kane told him. ‘As soon as your crate is done, you can go.’
Lincoln already had his crate open, and had finished processing the game in the first box before Edsel had even remembered his code. Lincoln’s scanner went beep as he entered his recommendation, then the lid went back on the box and the box went on the conveyor.
‘So I should start?’ Edsel asked.
‘Unless you want to sit here for the rest of the day,’ Kane replied.
Taking a deep, nervous breath, Edsel lifted the lid off his crate and took out his first box. He scanned the code on the lid with his scanner, and read the words on the screen.
Games: Space Predators II
Platform: Super Gaming Console (SGC)
Owner: David Farley
David recently updated his gaming console, and wishes to trade in some of his old SGC games so he can get a new game for his SGC2. He has three games available to trade in, but needs to find this copy of Space Predators II to make up the four titles needed for the trade-in. He remembers seeing it in his brother’s room.
Edsel smiled. An easy one to start, he thought, and he confidently pressed the Return to place last seen, pending steps retraced option. The scanner beeped, and he placed the box on the conveyor.
‘Don’t forget to have a look inside the box,’ Kane said. ‘I mean, it’s usually okay, but sometimes there are surprises.’ A smile crossed his face. ‘Once I recommended a book be returned to its owner, because he wanted to read it, and kids should read books, right?’
‘I guess so,’ Edsel agreed.
Kane smiled and shook his head. ‘Not this book,’ he said. ‘I mean, the title was on my screen and everything, but …’
‘There were two possible meanings for that title?’
‘That’s right,’ Kane said, nodding. ‘I’m sure it’s fine, but just check inside the box. What something is supposed to be and what it actually turns out to be can be very different.’
‘I’ll make sure I check,’ Edsel promised. ‘And what happens if I can’t decide?’
‘Don’t worry about it. Just mark it to be re-evaluated later.’
‘Let someone else worry about it?’
Kane shrugged. ‘What else would you do?’
‘I suppose you’re right.’
‘I am right. Get through your crate, and get out of here.’
The next item he picked up was a CD game for an older kind of computer. The person who’d lost it was a writer, who was putting off finishing a book he was working on. He wanted to reinstall the game so he wouldn’t have to do any of his writing, and Edsel felt a small shiver of power when he pressed the Retain and store for later reevaluation. That writer was going to finish that book, and no outdated PC version of a Formula One driving game was going to get in the way.
He worked through the contents of his crate far more quickly than he’d expected to. It had taken him just over an hour, but Kane and Lincoln had long gone.
He glanced around. It looked like they’d been telling him the truth. His work was over, and it was playtime, so he keyed his sign-off code into the scanner and returned it to its little holster.
‘How’d you go?’ Jacq asked him when he ran into her near the skate park.
‘Good, I think.’
‘No mistakes?’
‘How would I know?’ he asked. ‘Where were you today?’
She turned her hands over and showed him her nails. Each one was painted a different colour. ‘Pretty much everything in cosmetics gets sent back,’ she said. ‘Unless someone’s parents are going to ground them for a month for wearing too much eyeshadow. I’ve read that that happened more often back in the seventies, though. Nowadays it’s “Oh, another nail polish! I can’t think of any reason they shouldn’t have that back!” so back it goes. After I’ve tested it,’ she added, waggling her fingers again. ‘So, what have you got planned now, Mr Armandine, which doesn’t start with G, by the way.’
Edsel grinned sheepishly. ‘I think I might go and check out the roller-coasters. Will Ben be into that?’
‘Try stopping me,’ Ben said, walking up to them with his usual confidence, the tip of his cane sweeping back and forth in front of him. ‘I might be blind, but it doesn’t mean I don’t like being upside down, hanging from a shoulder bar.’
For his second morning of work, Edsel was in one of the cubicles where remote controls were sorted. Apart from a couple of fights that were likely to break out between couples, and expensive televisions that were likely to be replaced if the remote couldn’t be found, it was another day of easy decisions. The only tricky moment he encountered was when he opened one box to find a remote identical to the one his father liked to surf the channels with. It was odd, being reminded of his past in such an unexpected way.
That afternoon he went to the beach and discovered that he could bodysurf.
The next day, he was put in the cubicle that handled kitchen utensils. Once again, it wasn’t terribly difficult, although he found that he was thinking of his mother a lot more as he allocated and returned garlic presses, knives, spoons, beaters and kitchen scales.
That afternoon he and Jacq went karting while Ben went to his room to play around on his computer.
And gradually, in the short mornings of work followed by more fun than Edsel had ever imagined possible, and as he continued to consider what he might choose as his Heart’s Greatest Desire, he began to forget about everything he’d left behind, and even remote controls and potato mashers and engine parts from old cars barely made a dent in his calm blanket of forgetfulness.
But then, a few days later, something happened that caught Edsel completely unprepared.
It was late afternoon, and Edsel, Ben and Jacq were sitting on the beach, eating fish and chips from a newspaper parcel whil
e Bob dug a hole in the sand. A short distance away, some of the smaller kids were catching the waves in to shore on their boogie boards, laughing and squealing, while further along the beach, a group of boys was playing volleyball. Others were making sandcastles or just strolling along the damp sand down by the water’s edge.
Edsel watched the waves, and the bright aqua-blue of the sea, which was broken up by the pure white lines of the surf. It was relaxing. And in the distance, almost as far away as he might have expected an ocean horizon to be, were more mountains, tall and slightly blurred by the distance.
‘What do you think is behind those mountains?’ he asked.
‘The ones out there?’ Ben asked, nodding beyond the sea. ‘More mountains.’
‘Really? Are you sure?’
‘Probably. Or maybe nothing.’
‘How about more Verdada?’ Jacq suggested.
‘Why would there need to be more Verdada?’ Ben asked. ‘Isn’t this Verdada enough for you?’
‘But there has to be more,’ Jacq said. ‘There’s too much stuff in the world. There’s too much stuff to get lost.’
‘You know what your problem is, Jacq? You think too much,’ Ben said. ‘What do you reckon, Robert?’
Edsel shrugged. ‘I only just got here, so what would I know?’
‘Don’t you reckon she thinks too much?’
‘I don’t know,’ Edsel said. ‘Maybe she thinks just the right amount. And about the right things. Maybe what she’s saying is right.’
Ben shook his head and chuckled. ‘You guys, always thinking …’
‘So, tomorrow, Robert?’ Jacq said, changing the subject. ‘Tomorrow morning is the big moment, huh?’
Edsel nodded, and held out a chip for Bob, who snuffled around with his wet nose and tongue, licking all the salt from Edsel’s palm. ‘Yep, tomorrow morning is the big moment.’
‘Have you decided?’ Jacq asked.
‘Yeah, I have,’ Edsel replied with a smile. ‘But I’m not supposed to tell you.’
‘As if you won’t,’ scoffed Jacq. ‘Come on, out with it.’
Edsel took a deep breath. ‘This. This is what I want.’
Ben frowned, his eyes gazing past Edsel’s shoulder, along the beach towards the kiosk. ‘What part of this, exactly? Fish and chips, the beach, hanging out with friends … ?’