Hey Dad! Meet My Mom

by Sharma, Sandeep

  “Hi, good morning, its 9:30, and our college will start by 10, if I am not wrong.” I said while folding my sleeves.

  “Dude, are you mad, are you going to get married today?”

  Ashish’s question made me rethink my attire. I checked myself like a girl as if there was something odd about my looks. I thought it was perfect, nothing more nothing less.

  “I didn’t get you, Ashish.”

  “You are naive, leave it. Please wake up Yash and Umesh while I freshen up, and open the door, Chottu might come with the tea, tell him to bring one more cup for you.”

  “Okay bro, but where is John?”

  “He goes to the gym in the morning; he will come directly to college.”

  “Cool.”

  All four of us then left for college, it was an uphill road and my heart was wondering what was to come that day and most importantly who would be my partner for the fresher’s party as my roommates had informed me that a fresher’s party was approaching soon.

  Finally we reached college and a group of guys and girls headed to our classroom, instructing every newbie to reach ‘Siddharth’ hall in the next five minutes.

  “Excuse me, can you please direct me to the hall?” I asked one of the seniors.

  “Go left, then straight, then right, then there is a staircase leading to the first floor, then from there go right, then again straight, then again a staircase leading to the second floor... ”

  “Yeah, then again right and then left and then straight. I got you, thank you.” I cut in the words of senior.

  “Dude, where are you from? And how dare you cut me in between?” The senior lifted his hand and put it on my shoulder, while his friends surrounded me making a ring as if it was some boxing championship and soon we were about to start fighting, only boxing gloves were missing in that scene.

  “I am sorry, Mr.. ”

  “Sir, call me sir, for you guys sir is enough as you are not yet fit to call me by name.”

  “Okay, no problem. I am sorry sir for asking you the way to Siddharth hall, I will find it on my own.”

  “Oh, but why should you find it on your own, aren’t your seniors alive to guide you?”

  “Sorry, that’s not the case.”

  “Friends, don’t you think this guy has got a long tongue? What is your name?”

  “Puneet Shrivastava.”

  “A man with hot blood, nice to see a man in this campus.”

  “Open your eyes; you’ll see lots of them around.”

  “Shut up you idiot! You talk too much, and since the past fifteen minutes have been getting on my nerves. Leave now before I make you pay for wasting my time.”

  “Well, I just asked you for directions, it’s you who started the crap, had you just directed me correctly, I would have not got on to your nerves.”

  “Whoa! Meet me later. I’ll teach you how to behave.”

  “Why should I meet you? If you want to meet me, you can come to me.”

  The scene had become one of animosity. The senior guy swayed his hand behind, ready to throw a punch at me, and just like in Bollywood movies, someone came as a savior and stopped the punch from coming towards my face. He was my savior, Ashish.

  “Rahul, what’s your problem?” Ashish asked with equanimity.

  “You stay away from us.”

  “Yeah, even I am not interested but I can’t see anyone causing harm or maligning our juniors.”

  “Oh yeah, look friends, Lord Krishna has come to save his Parth.” Rahul pejoratively spoke to his friends.

  “Look, Puneet is new to this milieu”, said Ashish, in a serious tone.

  “Cool, as if we were born and bought up in this milieu”, said Rahul with a sardonic air.

  “Puneet, what’s the matter?” Ashish inquired.

  “Nothing, a group of seniors came up and instructed all the fresher’s to accumulate at Siddharth assembly hall and being a newbie I didn’t know which way to go, so I just asked him.”

  “Guys, look at this Puneet Shrivastava, speaking out his heart like a new bride in front of her mom.” Rahul poked again.

  “That’s enough Rahul; come Puneet, I’ll take you there, and others you too can follow us.” Ashish pacified all the juniors around and everyone followed him.

  During this entire time, there was an innocent pair of eyes witnessing us, her thick black hair spread around her shoulders, a perfect pair of heels matching her punjabi suit, a sling with a pink Barbie pinned to it.

  I wish I could have had Umesh, the database, with me at that time, so I could have found out all about her. Yeah, it was either a crush or love or a similar stupid feeling that was arousing in me for the very first time since the 9th standard.

  Yeah, I had had a crush when I was in the 9th; I had lied to my roommates the previous night.

  The principal and directors of the college presented their speech about the campus and student behavior and responsibility towards the academic years. The grandiose words made me feel elated for being a part of such a reputed college.

  As soon as the orientation program was over, Rahul’s gang started following me. I was caught up in the conflict of whether to listen to my institution and face them or follow the golden rule of ‘ignorance is bliss’. I chose the second option. They kept following me and I kept on walking as if they were Toms and I was Jerry, when suddenly I found myself in an isolated corner, and the group of boys surrounded me. I wish I could have the super powers of Singham or Krrish so that I could have flown off, away from the circle but sadly I had none.

  “So, Mr. Puneet, in the morning we didn’t have a clear conversation so let’s do it now.” Rahul smirked.

  “I guess I was quite clear in the morning.”

  “Guys, you all know the trend we have for welcoming our juniors?”

  Damn! I was so sure that they had been gearing up for ragging, now whom would I call out to as a savior, nothing came to my mind except a flickering thought of Ashish.

  “Polo T-shirt and Peter England jeans? Do you think it really suits this guy?” Rahul said while showing it to the others.

  “Na.... it’s actually not defining his status.” Another guy from the group replied.

  “Come on dude; show us your six packs.”

  My heart beat was now sunk like a boat deep in the ocean.

  “Look, if you are trying to rag me then listen everyone, it’s an offence and if any faculty sees you, you’ll have to undergo serious punishment, and if I report your act to the police, you can’t even imagine what will happen to you, your entire career will be spoiled.” I tried to threaten them but nothing helped.

  “And who’s gonna do that, guys have you seen anything?”

  “Who, we? No we were in our hostel after college.” The group was supporting Rahul.

  All of a sudden, something hit me on my back. Its impact was so powerful that I fell on my knees.

  Finally I was tortured so much that I had almost reached a state of unconsciousness, forcefully fighting with my self-respect like a chick within the egg trying to get out of the shell, drained in nihilism.

  “Wait, leave him! I have informed the police and the directors, they are coming soon”, someone shouted.

  Hearing those words, Rahul and his group ran away as I lifted my eyes to see the twig that had saved me from drowning deep into the river. It was a girl, which made it equally difficult for me to stand, apart from the fact that I had been hit with an iron rod on my back. Yes, that thing had been an iron rod.

  “Get up, don’t worry, come I’ll take you to your place.” The girl came like dawn tearing the clouds of dusk making its way, helping by lending her hand to lift me up from the graveyard to a soft bed.

  “What is your name?” I asked in pain.

  “Roshni, Roshni Bhatt, first year computer student, what about you?”

  “Puneet, first year computers.”

  “So we are class mates, right?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Which way sho
uld I take you?”

  “It’s okay ma’am, thank you for saving me.”

  “What ‘ma’am’? I mean, are you serious, calling me ma’am and all? Chill yaar, we are classmates, call me Roshni, or Rosh. My friends call me Rosh.” She was like a joy ride; full of life.

  “So within a day you have already made friends here?”

  “Nahi re, not in this college, I meant my school friends, I really didn’t want to get out of school. What yaar, I grew up so early, now all responsibilities will be coming up”, she said gloomily. Her mood swings were really quick. One moment, she was all smiles and in the next, she was thinking of something completely contrary.

  “You stay here, in Ahmedabad?” I asked her.

  “What do you mean by Ahmedabad, obviously I am a pure Ahmedavadi chokri, why, don’t you stay here? Where are you from?”

  “I am from Delhi.”

  “Oh my God, what a fool you are! People from Ahmedabad go to Delhi to study, and you are coming all the way from Delhi to Ahmedabad, really you should get an award.”

  “I wanted to be in one of the world’s top colleges, and Xavier’s is among one of the top colleges.”

  “If your aim was just to get into one of the top colleges then I guess you are in the wrong college, you should have joined IIM.”

  She was now irritating me. What the hell! Was this girl stupid or what? For the past 15 minutes she was just going on talking and I was putting up with her talks and the excruciating back pain. God, is this how you wanted to make me pay for my dreams?

  “IIM’s are for those who have good CAT scores which I guess I don’t have as I am only a 12th passed student, and coming to the point of IIM, I’ll soon be joining CAT classes, because IIM is synonymous with my dream.”

  “That’s great, crack your CAT exam with good scores and start the MNC in which I can work.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “No, sorry, I can’t excuse you, because today I helped you, so for this you need to thank me in the form of offering me a job in your company.”

  “I am still studying. I am not going to become the owner of Microsoft that I can get you a job.”

  “Fine, ehsaan faramosh.”

  “Hmm, thank you for dropping me home, you can go back now or shall I do the formality of inviting you to my home for coffee and all?”

  “No, you don’t need to do that Mr. Attitude, my servants are far better than you, at least they are humble, and they behave well.”

  “What do I have to do with your servants, Ms. Attitude? What are you giving me a lecture about being humble for?”

  “Shut up you moron, I won’t help you ever again.”

  “Fine, sorry! Now please can you go from here?”

  “What the hell?! I was standing here just to make sure you reach your door safely.”

  “I will go, I am not a kid. Ma’am, please go now.”

  “Okay, see you... ”

  “What? You really wish to see this moron again?”

  “Do you think you are Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp that I will crave to see you?”

  “Fine, so leave now.”

  “I wish I could have punched you right now”, she said angrily. Her face was so red as if somebody had dipped it into tomato sauce. I know my behavior towards her had been hostile, but that was just because I didn’t want any of my roommates to see me with her. I started going towards my room, when I caught sight of Mrs. Martha. ‘Hell! This was the only thing left!’

  “Oh, Jesus! What happened to you, my boy?”

  I didn’t know why these Christian ladies always started any conversation in such a weird tone.

  “Nothing aunty, just met with an accident.”

  “Don’t lie; tell me who that girl was to whom you just proposed?”

  “What? No aunty, I didn’t propose to anyone.”

  “See, if you want to live in my house, you have to tell the truth. I saw what happened right now with my two natural eyes and two artificial eyes.”

  “Artificial eyes, what’s that now?”

  “My spectacles are my artificial eyes and they are not less than any binoculars. Tell me the truth, who was that girl? Do your parents know about her, do you love her, is she your girlfriend, any plans to date her?”

  “Uh, please aunty, she is just a stranger, okay she is more than a stranger, she is my so called classmate.”

  “Aha! Classmate?”

  “Yeah! My classmate.”

  With all these counter strike questions I was sure that aunty had tagged me and Roshni under the boyfriend and girlfriend category. Who cares what she thought though, what was more important for me at that moment was some ointment for my aching back.

  I lifted my broken body, placed it on the 6 by 4 feet cot and felt slightly better lying down but missed my mom a lot. Thank God that Umesh came up early and treated me with the care I needed.

  Soon all my room buddies arrived and Ashish was filled with anger. He didn’t even have his dinner. He reluctantly got up from the dining table and moved outside to the lawn. We were all gazing at each other but Yash signaled me with his eyes to sit quiet.

  “No one dares to talk to Ashish when he is in no mood so you also better stay away from him.” Yash ended while getting up from the dining table.

  This behavior was very strange to me, if I were in their place I would never leave my friend alone when they were in a bad mood. I still remember the day when my best friend Aditya was crushed by his crush and we made fun of him but still we stuck by him just to make him smile.

  Anyway I too was exhausted, but still for the sake of humanity I visited Ashish outside in the lawn asking him whether he was okay.

  “Hey, thanks Ashish for being a Krishna to me.” I tried to crack a joke.

  “Hmm!” he replied.

  “So how was your day?”

  “I think your day was more awesome than anyone else’s.”

  “Yeah, first day of college, I will always remember.”

  “What was so special that you will remember your first day at college, the fight?”

  “Hahaha.”

  “I am sorry, I didn’t know that after the orientation Rahul will come to you and will try to rag you, I warned him not to do that, but he still did that.”

  “It’s fine dude, they followed the custom.”

  “So you think what they did was right?”

  “No, I didn’t mean that, I was just the prey of this custom today, if not me then someone else would have been.”

  “So you don’t have any problem with what happened today, do you know the lines in the Mahabharata? It says, Jurm karne se badapaap jurm sehna hota hai.”

  “I know, leave it yaar, let’s get back to sleep, tomorrow’s the second day of college.” With this I started walking towards my room.

  “Hey wait, Puneet.”

  “Yes.”

  “Who was that girl?”

  Gosh! Even he had noticed Roshni. Every entity of the earth was noticing me and her. My goodness, can’t a girl come to drop off a boy?

  “She is my classmate and she came to drop me because I was unable to stand after being hammered by Rahul.”

  “Hmm, tomorrow we have to go a little early to college so get ready early in morning.”

  “Why, are we going somewhere?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Where?”

  “None of your business, you just get ready before 8:30 am”

  “Okay, anything else?”

  “No.”

  He gave me a hi-five and I went to bed, but I was damn sure Ashish was worried about me.

  Chapter 16

  My eyes refused to open and my body resisted any movement, yet I had to be up. Ashish’s instructions last night for getting ready early made me leave the bed irrespective of any hindrance and to fight the pain I had to apply a sticky balm like the ones that don’t smell as great as AXE deos, but at least gave some relief from the pain.

  I so knew it, he wanted me to lodge an FIR ag
ainst the ragging and the fight.

  “Dude, I am not doing this, I can’t spoil someone’s career.”

  “Puneet, don’t be mad, his career is not as important as your self-respect.”

  “Hey guys, what’s up?” A female voice came from somewhere.

  “Roshni?”

  My God, what the hell was she doing here? I was almost shocked to see her. I got cautious about what Ashish would think. I didn’t know at what time God had penned down the episode of my life inking Roshni as my classmate. She was just my classmate and not my girlfriend. Martha aunty and now almost everyone would think we were a couple. Where would I go and hide myself?

  “Relax, Puneet! Why are you fuming so much? Roshni is the witness.” Ashish said.

  Oh, so it was Ashish who had called her up here. Anyway I didn’t lodge any complaint saying that I could handle such guys. Ashish was reluctant at first but finally, he dropped the thought and rushed to his classes.

  Now I, unlike the animal from yesterday, put forth my hand towards Roshni and thanked her.

  “So what are we up for?” Roshni felt as if I have given her a green signal to be friends with me.

  “But obvious, we are both up for the class.” I knew what was she asking, but wanted to hear it from her mouth.

  “How dumb are you?”

  “Thanks for the compliment.”

  “Ah Puneet, you are such an ass.”

  “I am, do you have any doubt?”

  “Shut up; now tell me, will you be my partner for the fresher’s party?”

  “Ha! You are asking me as if you are going to marry me.”

  “Puneet, stop this crap, just say yes or no.”

  “What if I say no?”

  “It will be your loss.”

  “And Ms. Roshni, can you please explain to me what I will lose if I don’t become your partner for the fresher’s party?”

  “You won’t get such a beautiful girl, coming forward and asking you to be her Mr. Fresher.”