"And the other sister," Addie said, snuggling down under the blanket. "The good sister, she says she'll never fall in love. Never. Ever. Ever. But she's wrong." Addie sang the word "wrong," giggling.
"Of course she is," Mariah said, leaning over to kiss the top of Addie's head. Addie's eyes fluttered as she fought sleep.
"You girls want to go down to the water and at least watch some of the show?" Mariah asked. "Fireworks are starting soon. I know it's not as fun as a party." Mariah nudged me.
"I'm too tired, Mariah," Addie said, yawning and leaning her head on Mariah's shoulder.
"Wow." Mariah looked just as surprised as I was to hear Addie wanted to tap out early. "How about you, Cass?"
My sister passing on fireworks was pretty much unbelievable, but I figured this was my lucky break. I could slip away to bed early and blame Addie. I wanted to hug my unpredictable little sister. "Yeah, I'm pretty tired, too. I think I'll skip them this year. Not in the mood."
Mariah shrugged. "Okay. Suit yourselves."
Addie fell asleep before the movie ended. Mariah carried her upstairs, which wasn't that easy. I followed to help. She was half asleep while we dressed her in a pair of polka dot jammies and tucked her into bed.
I said goodnight to Mariah and lay down on my bed to wait. Soon, I heard the white noise of Mariah watching late night television in the den. She'd be sacked out on the couch in no time. She'd been babysitting us for years. I knew the drill.
Shoes in hand, I tiptoed down the hall, passing Mom’s door and then Addie’s. My whole body felt tense, my mind racing, I needed to escape out the front door. I couldn’t go down the chimney this time since I’d drop to the ground right by Mariah. Too risky.
I started down the stairs. One. Two. Three. The third step creaked so loudly I froze, afraid to take another step. It was such a rookie mistake. I always skipped that third step. I needed to focus.
“Where are you going?” Addie’s whisper stopped me. Damn that third step.
My little sister stood in her doorway her head poking out into the hall.
“Nowhere. Go to bed,” I said.
“But, I want to go with you.”
“Addie. No.”
“Fine. But you’re the one missing out this time,” she said, before closing her door.
I didn’t have time to decode her cryptic message. Addie had retreated and I needed to run. I tiptoed down the rest of the stairs and into the entryway.
My plan was to walk, but Mariah's car keys sat glittering on the windowsill. I rationalized my next move by telling myself it was better for me to get to the dock quickly, the sooner I was home the better. I picked Mariah's keys up slowly so they wouldn't jingle.
With the headlights off, I drove up the hill turning right onto Island Drive. On the main road, I flipped the lights back on and headed toward the marina. If the boat was gone, if RD had sailed away, I'd go home. I'd go home, give up for tonight and find another way to reach him. I had to take this chance. I had to know what had really happened and whether he still loved me. My heart hammered in my chest and my whole body felt tense and jittery.
When I pulled into the parking lot of the marina, an explosion of red and blue fireworks cascaded over my head. A glimmering weeping willow, the colors shimmered in the dark summer sky.
Inside Mariah's car, I could hear the thump of music drifting up the road from Jekyll Beach. I'd turned my cell phone off before Mariah had a chance to call. I wondered what she'd do if she realized her car was gone. Would she call Mom? Would she call the police? Let them come, I thought. I left my phone on the dashboard.
I ran across the lot and pounded the code into the gate. Another round of fireworks exploded overhead, popping and echoing above the water. The dock was deserted. Anyone who wanted to watch the show was already on the water as close to the barge as the marine patrol allowed.
My breath sounded too loud in the quiet moments between the popping and cracking of fireworks. Voices from the party at the beach carried across the water. I knew they were just around the bend, a ten-minute walk away, but it may as well have been a thousand miles.
I walked slower as I approached Kismet's slip. I was terrified she'd be gone, that RD had disappeared again. But Kismet rocked quietly in place. There were no lights on below deck. A thick, yellow extension cord connected her to dock power. Someone was here for the night, but it looked like no one was home.
I stood still, listening to my heartbeat, then unzipped my backpack to check again for the photo of RD and me. It was still there, the only evidence I had that what I'd felt for him was real.
"Hello?" I called softly. "Anyone home?" No answer, just the lapping of waves against the boat and the pop of fireworks.
I stepped onto the boat and inhaled. I read somewhere that smell is the most powerful memory trigger, that it can carry you back through time. Eyes closed, I breathed in the musty aroma of damp wood and the sharp smell of the polish we'd rubbed on the decks. When I closed my eyes and breathed, I could feel RD's hands on my skin. I could taste him.
RD kept an extra key to the boat in a hidden cubby beside the hatch. He said it was for emergencies. I knew it was wrong, that I shouldn't be anywhere near the boat without him. What if Rachel was here, too? What if I was crashing a family trip? I told myself that I'd look below deck and I'd have my answer. I needed RD to be alone tonight and if he wasn't, I'd leave. I pulled the hidden key from its rusty nail and unlocked the hatch, going inside.
I made my way down the short ladder and flipped on the main light so I could see. As my eyes adjusted, a sinking feeling filled my belly. This was a mistake. The boat looked so different. The layout was the same, but there was so much more stuff. When RD and I had been below deck, it had been so spare, so organized. It now looked like a family lived her. It looked like a home.
A row of nautical pillows covered one of the benches and photos hung on the walls between the portholes. RD and Rachel sitting side by side, arms entwined, leaning against the railing of a boat. RD holding Duncan in his lap. Duncan sitting on the back of a rocking dinosaur and a photo of RD by himself, his head turned, looking at the photographer with a crooked smile. The same smile he'd give me before he took my hand.
The boat swayed deeply to one side as someone stepped aboard. My heart felt like a sledgehammer in my chest and I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I wanted to run, but there was no way out, nowhere to hide. Someone fumbled with the hatch. This was a horrible mistake.
RD climbed below deck. Carrying a white plastic bag in one hand, he looked flushed and sunburned. There were deep circles under his eyes. “What the hell?” he said seeing me.
"You're alone," I said, almost collapsing to the ground.
"Of course I'm alone. What are you doing here?"
"I called you," I said. My knees felt weak and I started to shake. "RD, we need to talk."
Chapter 36
RD was less than three feet away and I felt like there were miles between us. This was nothing like I'd imagined. Everything felt wrong.
"I said, what are you doing here, Cassandra?" He sounded strange, like he had to concentrate to speak.
"What's wrong with you?" I said, even though I knew the answer the moment the light flashed in his blood-shot eyes. He'd been drinking. The musty smell of beer was all around him and I could see the six-pack he carried in his hand. He must have walked to the mini-mart.
"What's wrong with me is that you're here." He moved toward me and I jumped back, my heart pounding.
"I called you," I said, pressing my legs against the opening that led to the forward bunk. "Did you get my message?"
He made a snorting noise and, turning his back to me, opened the small refrigerator and took out a beer, putting his fresh six-pack away. He popped off the cap, letting it roll along the floor toward my feet. "Yes. I got your message." He took a long swig. I stayed as far away as I could. I didn't know him anymore. I'd seen flashes of this RD, this angry, drunk guy he'd warned me about, but I
don't think I'd ever seen him so clearly.
RD must have seen something in my face. "Jesus Christ. I'm not going to hurt you, Cassie." He sat down on one of the bunks and closed his eyes for a second. "I got your fucking messages."
My eyes filled with tears. "Why are you being like this? What's wrong with you?" I hated how thin my voice sounded, how scared I felt realizing he was truly lost to me.
"What's wrong with me?" RD laughed, sounding drunk and bitter. "What's wrong with me is that my wife left me." He toasted the air. "At least she isn't here to find you aboard, I can say that much. Told you I was a fuck-up. I warned you."
I swallowed, sliding farther back into the corner of the boat. Rachel was gone. This was what I'd wanted, right? Didn't this mean we could be together? I'd spent so much time thinking about what it would be like if RD and I could be together, but looking at him now, red-faced, angry, full of hate and lies, all I wanted to do was leave. I felt like I'd finally put on a pair of glasses that allowed me to see. There was nothing but darkness here. I wanted to run toward the hatch and escape this horrible place, but first I'd have to get past RD.
"Don't you want to know what happened?" His voice was biting.
"No," I whispered, looking at the photos of Rachel and Duncan. This wasn't just about me. This was about a family. I was overcome with shame and regret for everything I'd done, no matter what he'd told me.
"My wife found out about my girlfriend." He grinned at me. There was no sunshine in his smile. "Oh, don't worry, Cassie. It wasn't you. Rachel suspected you, but she never quite put it all together."
"I don't understand. What girlfriend?"
"What girlfriend?" He imitated me. "Not you, kid. Grow up, Cassie. Did you really think we could be together? You are sixteen… or did you have a birthday while I was gone? August right?" RD took another swig of his beer and closed his eyes.
"I hate you," I said quietly. I could feel it in my core. All the love I'd ever felt for him was seeping out of me through the floor of this boat, sinking to the bottom of the sea.
"Good." He opened his eyes. "It's about time." His voice was low and steely. "I'm a disgusting son of a bitch."
"I thought Rachel knew about me," I whispered. "I thought that was why you left."
"Your earrings, Cassandra." RD rolled his eyes and clutched one of the nautical pillows to his lap. He looked like an overgrown child. "It was my mistake, not yours. A sentimental gesture that bit me in the ass. Those earrings were once my wife's."
I reached up and touched the silver dangles. I'd worn them every day since he'd given them to me. I'd touch them, feeling the soft grooves, the lines of the Orca, remembering they were from the ocean. RD had picked them just for me. "They were Rachel's?"
"Yep." He laughed. "I am some kind of shit, don't you think?"
"Yes," I whispered. I couldn't hold my tears back any longer. I slid the earrings out of my ears and held them in my palm. They felt cold against my hot hands. My whole body felt on fire.
"I told her that you stole them. I told her you were obsessed with me."
"You what?" I grabbed the wall to steady myself. But wasn't there some truth to what he was saying? I was obsessed, wasn't I? I'd broken into his boat in the middle of the night, unsure of whether or not I'd find him alone. I felt sick with embarrassment. Who had I become?
"I told her that your mom's dying. You're dad's dead. Your boyfriend dumped you. You have no friends." Every word he said felt like a nail being driven deeper into my heart.
"Stop it," I whispered.
"I had to tell her something, Cassandra. You stood there looking at me by your front door. What we did was written all over your face."
"Stop it. Please." I clutched the earrings, my hand in a fist.
"I told her that you were a delusional, messed-up girl. For once, I told her the truth," RD said and laughed. "Ironic, I know."
And right then, for some reason, I thought of my mother and what she'd said about my strength. She'd said I was stronger than I knew and I'd told her that she was wrong. But looking at RD's red face, the beer in his hand and his angry vacant stare, I believed her. RD had picked me because he'd thought I was broken. But he was wrong. He could try to make me invisible. He could think he had the power to make me disappear, but that just made him pathetic in my eyes. My heart was bigger than him and all of his lies. I was strong enough to survive fires much hotter and deadlier than him. I wanted to tear him apart with my own two hands.
"Why me?" I asked. I didn't recognize my own voice and I heard the sound of fireworks exploding overhead. A flash filled the cabin and, through the hatch, I could see vibrant, green arcs raining down. They looked strong enough to hit the earth, but they dissolved into specks of nothing while I watched. The party around the bend cheered, a distant chorus from my old life.
He looked amused by my question. "You're beautiful and you really don't know it." He shrugged and he almost sounded sad, a trace of the RD I had thought was real lurking beneath the surface. A moment before, I might have felt relieved to recognize a piece of him, but now it made him look even more pathetic. "You are kind and good and you reminded me of everything I used to be, your whole life in front of you. Your eyes, your soft skin." He shuddered. "It was like you were made for me."
I recoiled. "I wasn't made for you."
"Easy, drama queen." He arched his eyebrows.
"You pretended to be somebody that you weren't. You pretended to be my friend and then you pretended…" I gasped, the emotions coming too fast. I couldn't sort myself out quickly enough. "You made me believe you loved me, even worse, you made me think I loved you." I felt a sense of bewilderment as I spoke, the pieces falling into place as I explained them to RD. It was the truth. Everything I'd felt was a lie, a lie I'd let myself disappear into so I could escape my life.
I looked at RD's blood-shot eyes and blotchy skin. He looked sunburned, bloated and hideous to me. I couldn't believe he'd ever been golden.
"You picked me because you are empty inside." I spoke slowly knowing that every word was true. "You picked me because you needed someone you thought you could control. Well, guess what? You didn't choose wisely."
He opened his mouth, but looked stunned. I took a step forward, no longer afraid to be near him. I felt like I could knock him over with a glance. "All summer, I've been doing exactly what you asked. Keep my secret, Cassie. Don't tell anyone about me, Cassie. Let me help you, Cassie. And all you've done is keep me from the people in my life who really love me. Game over. I'm not a scared little girl anymore, but you are still nothing but a loser."
RD laughed. "Jesus, have you been talking to my wife?"
"Shut up," I shouted at him, my whole body coiled tight with rage. "Shut up and listen to me or I will destroy you."
He stopped laughing, his eyes wide.
"You think I have nothing?" I spoke evenly in spite of my anger, in spite of the tears that bubbled just beneath the surface. "You think you can re-write history? Make yourself believe you're better than you really are?"
Another round of fireworks exploded in the sky, the flash of light exposing his pale face. "You're going to wish you never kissed me," I said. "You're going to wish you never touched me that night in the boathouse. Me. Cassandra. The girl you couldn't resist. Do you remember what you said? Do you remember what we did together? I do." I paused just long enough to enjoy the look on his face, the way his forehead wrinkled up and how his mouth hung open, making him look stupid and scared. "I have proof of everything, RD."
At the word proof, RD sank back into the bunk and closed his eyes.
"Shit," he said. "Shit. Shit. Shit."
I saw my chance to get away and ran up the stairs, stumbling and banging my shin on the top step. I couldn't stand being on that boat another moment.
"Cassie!" He shouted after me and I felt his hand graze my ankle as I climbed above deck. But he was sloppy and I was faster than him, slipping just out of reach. I jumped off the boat and lost my balance tr
ipping on the yellow extension cord hanging off the bow. I fell face first onto the dock. I could feel splinters driving into my palms and hear RD stumbling in Kismet's cockpit. I pulled myself up and ran as fast as I could down the dock. I felt like I was running away from every horrible thing I'd ever done.
"Cassie! Come back!" RD shouted and I could hear his uneven footsteps behind me. But he was drunk and unsteady, so I had quite a lead. I don't know what I thought. Would he hurt me? Or would he try to talk me out of telling? Would he pretend he loved me again, hoping it would buy him some more time? My stomach turned as I imagined his lips against mine.
I still had my backpack, but when I closed the gate and reached the parking lot, I couldn't find Mariah's keys. Why had I locked the car? I stood in front of the Mustang and could see RD weaving down the dock. I must have dropped the keys when I fell or left them on the boat. I felt in my pockets; they weren't there.
"Cassandra!" RD shouted. I ducked down beside the car, shaking. Fireworks exploded overhead. They were blue and yellow stars. Any other time, I would have thought they looked just like RD's sails. A week ago, I would have thought this was a sign that we were still connected somehow, that we shared a love so big that I found him everywhere in the world.
Now, the glimmering fireworks looked like ordinary stars. They fell in slow motion and hovered above the rocky shore of Jekyll Beach. I could hear the thump of a bass playing and the bonfire faintly lit up the sky in the distance. My old life was on the other side of the woods. The party at Jekyll Beach, RD wouldn't dare come after me there. I stayed low as I weaved through cars in the parking lot.
Gravel crunched beneath my tennis shoe. The car doors felt cold against my skin as I leaned up against them, using them as shields. I worked my way to the last row. I could see the opening to the waterside trail that led to the beach beyond a small grassy field. I crouched beside the hubcap of an enormous SUV, heart pounding, knees shaking and bleeding from my fall. I waited.
Lie to Me (an OddRocket title) Page 21