by Julie Cave
Michael looked at her with pity. "You don't know me at all," he said softly. "You don't know the things I've already done."
Isabelle felt tears spilling onto her cheeks and she closed her eyes, unable to look into the suddenly strange, burning eyes of the brother she thought she knew.
* * * *
Dinah got up to put on a pot of coffee, while Andy and Sandra swapped positions on the soft couch. When Dinah brought back three cups of steaming coffee, Andy said, "Our culture today reminds me of a Bible passage in Joshua 4. Joshua had been a great leader and commander of Israel, leading them into the Promised Land. After they crossed the Jordan River, God instructed Joshua to pile up 12 stones as a memorial to the crossing. The 12 stones were meant to be a reminder so that future generations would know that the Lord God had allowed the Israelites to cross the river on dry ground and that His hand is powerful, so that they might fear the Lord God forever. Yet it was only one generation later that the Israelites had forgotten what the 12 stones meant and did evil in the eyes of the Lord. In Judges 21:25, the Bible says that in those days there was no king and everybody did what was right in their own eyes. Do you know why the next generation turned their backs on God?"
Dinah, still a new Christian, had yet to explore much of the Old Testament in particular. She shook her head.
"The previous generation neglected to teach their children the significance and importance of the monument," explained Andy. "That's exactly what has happened in modern-day America. Our president has said many times over that we are no longer a Christian nation, but he doesn't say exactly what we've become: a secular nation. The Free Inquiry magazine, published by the Council for Secular Humanism, proclaimed that the First World — America, Canada, Europe, England, and Australia — is entering the Secular Age where science and knowledge dominate. Perhaps more accurately, they should have said that the First World is coming under the domination of the new religion, atheism."
Sandra raised her eyebrows at Dinah. "Now you've started him, he's not going to stop."
Dinah laughed. "I don't mind. I'm always guaranteed of learning something new when Andy comes to visit."
Andy was waiting impatiently. "If you two are finished," he said, "can I go on?"
"Who will stop you?" joked Sandra.
"We need to understand how we got to this point," continued Andy, poking his wife in the side in mock outrage. "We begin by removing from our culture references and reminders of our Christian heritage. In 1962 the Supreme Court ruled that prayer in public schools was unconstitutional. In 1963 the Supreme Court ruled that Bible reading in public schools was unconstitutional. In 1985 erecting nativity scenes at Christmas in public offices was deemed to violate the separation of church and state. Do you see what's happening?"
"In one generation," mused Dinah, "we've started to lose our Christian references."
"It continues at a rapid pace today," added Andy. "Our current president ceased funding abstinence-based education in public schools. At a speech he gave at Georgetown University, his staff asked that an emblem symbolizing the name of Jesus Christ be covered."
Andy stood up to pace the room. "You know, when a group tries to change a culture, the smart thing to do is start with kids, right? If you can influence the next generation, you have great power. Under the flawed interpretation of the First Amendment's separation of church and state, atheists and humanists have succeeded in driving out Christianity from our public schools, and replacing it with their own religion. Their prophet? Darwin. Their Bible? Origin of the Species. Their creed? Naturalism."
"Surely if they really embraced free inquiry," said Dinah, thinking out loud, "they'd embrace and discuss all explanations for the origins of life. After all, Darwin wasn't actually there and his theory cannot be proven in a science laboratory."
"Well, you'd be wrong," said Andy. "Actually, there is only one acceptable explanation, and that's the one taught to children in our public schools. Atheists and humanists claim that education ought to take a neutral position. They say that education ought to be free from religion. Yet they will not take responsibility for the fact that atheism is a religion and that in fact, they are forcing their religion down the throats of every child who attends public school. They have also managed to usurp Christian morality with their own brand."
"What do you mean?" Dinah asked.
"Where does the concept of right and wrong come from?" Andy asked rhetorically. "It comes from the Bible — from God very clearly showing us the standards of behavior He expects from us. However, if God is rejected, then His commandments about behavior are also rejected in favor of humans' own decisions about what is right and wrong. But who decides? Society has a code in place, the law, for setting standards of behavior. Much of the American code of law comes from the Bible, by the way: do not kill, do not steal, for example. However, an atheist is being illogical if he professes to believe in the concept of right and wrong because he no longer believes in an absolute authority. Therefore, their morality can only be relative to their own experiences and biases. If I decided to kill you, is that wrong? Perhaps in your eyes, but not in mine. I'm simply adhering to my own code of morality."
"What if morality could be what the majority thinks it should be?" suggested Dinah, playing devil's advocate.
Andy laughed. "Let me just say that Hitler was able to convince a majority of his people that his actions were right. Of course, the majority of people would now disagree. So this concept of majority is fluid and arbitrary in its own right."
"If this is what they're teaching in schools, they've been successful," commented Dinah.
"Yes, they have. And they have succeeded in influencing an entire generation," agreed Andy. "They taught kids that they are no more than animals, random accidents in a very big picture, that nothing matters except brute survival. They are taught to be respectful and honest, but why? Outside of the Bible, there is no basis for exhibiting this behavior. It is simply one person's opinion — and is it any more valid than another opinion which suggests that we should look after ourselves first? There is no right and wrong. Each individual decides what is right or wrong for themselves. The consequences are far-reaching. For example, when a student in Finland took a gun to school and killed nine people, he posted a video on YouTube stating that he was a natural selector who could eliminate all those who were unfit, who were a disgrace to the human race, and who were failures of natural selection. He also says that he is just an animal, putting natural selection and survival of the fittest back on track. That's pretty scary, but I can't fault his logic."
"They are becoming much more aggressive in their beliefs, too," added Sandra. When Andy threw her a quizzical look, she said, "What, I don't get my two cents' worth, too? Atheists and humanists are actively evangelizing...."
"Something that Christians are increasingly not allowed to do," interjected Andy.
"Right. You have probably seen the billboards and advertising on buses."
"And I've seen the television ads they rolled out as part of this lawsuit," chimed in Dinah.
"They've built a great foundation with our kids in public schools," explained Andy. "And now they're going for the jugular."
"They're capitalizing on our failure," Sandra said. "We failed to influence the next generation, and we're paying the consequences now."
"Christianity in America in some ways is like the contaminated salt Jesus talks about in Matthew 5:13," said Andy. "The verse says: 'You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.' I think that's a pretty accurate description of what we've allowed our Christian heritage to become — worthless."
Dinah contemplated this in silence. Her new Christian faith to her was more priceless than a rare jewel. Her relationship with the living God had saved her not because she needed a crutch, not because she was weak, but because it gave her hope. It had given her hope for a life filled w
ith purpose and meaning, knowledge that perfect love did exist, and the joyous anticipation of eternal life.
To consider that worthless was an outrage to her.
* * * *
The quiet of the stiflingly hot afternoon was disturbed by the chirping of her doorbell. Dinah frowned. She wasn't expecting anyone.
The voice on the intercom was familiar, though.
"Hi, Aaron. Come on up."
Her heart started thudding faster, racing like storm-chased clouds traversing the sky. When she opened the door, she started to feel sick. How was she going to have this difficult conversation with a guy she liked so much?
Dinah introduced Aaron to Andy and Sandra, flushing red when the other woman flashed her a quizzical look.
"Maybe we should go," said Andy, standing up.
"No, no," said Dinah. "You've only just arrived. Please, sit down."
"Sorry," said Aaron. "I didn't realize Dinah had visitors. I'm sorry to interrupt."
"We'll go for a quick walk," suggested Dinah, glancing at Aaron, who nodded quickly. To Andy and Sandra, she said, "Please, stay here and make yourselves at home."
Outside, in the suffocating humidity, she asked, "How are the phone calls going?"
"Every lunatic in the city has rung, convinced that they know who the person in the CCTV footage is," said Aaron, still managing to sound cheerful about it. "In fact, I'm in personal receipt of three confessions."
"Well, case closed then!" joked Dinah. More seriously she added: "No identifying call yet?"
"Nope," said Aaron with a sigh. "Listen, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had visitors. I came here to ask you out to dinner."
"Oh," said Dinah. "Uh ... yeah, well, tonight's out."
"What about tomorrow night?"
Dinah glanced sideways at him and caught a flash of his brilliant blue eyes. "Uh ... "
She felt his gaze boring into her.
"Something wrong?" He suddenly sounded guarded.
"Well, it's complicated," Dinah said, marveling at her own inability to have important, meaningful discussions.
Aaron stopped walking and grasped her arm. "Tell me what's wrong," he said.
Dinah forced herself to look at him and drank in his features — those striking eyes, the strong jaw, the sculpted cheekbones.
"There are lots of things you don't know about me," she began, hoping to muster some courage as she talked. "There are many things I am that make this very difficult."
"Dinah," said Aaron gently, "I know about your past. I know...."
"That I'm an alcoholic?" Dinah challenged him. "That I tried to commit suicide?"
Aaron took a deep breath. "I know that you were an alcoholic. I didn't know about the suicide."
"Aaron, I am an alcoholic," she corrected him. "I will be for the rest of my life. There is no cure except to stop drinking altogether."
"Okay," said Aaron. There was a long pause. "Do you think that would scare me away?"
"Do you want a relationship with someone who struggles with a temptation like this?" Dinah asked. "Wondering if I've had a drink?"
"I don't know," said Aaron honestly. "But I'm willing to find out."
"That's not the biggest issue we've got, anyway," said Dinah, staring at the hazy horizon.
Aaron waited her out.
"The major reason I'm no longer drinking, and that I no longer want to die, is because I'm a Christian," explained Dinah quietly. "I'm only new at it, but it's the most important thing in my life. Something that's part of my faith is to be careful about getting into a relationship with someone who doesn't share my beliefs."
Aaron was completely silent for such a long time that Dinah felt as if she'd aged a decade or so.
"Is that the main problem?" he asked. "It's not me, then?"
She suddenly became aware of vulnerability in him that she'd never seen before. He'd been worried that she was rejecting him!
"Aaron, I like everything about you," she said, a lump rising in her throat. Don't cry now, for Pete's sake! Her voice cracking, she continued, "You're the first person since my husband died who I could actually see myself in a relationship with. I think you're so gorgeous I can't believe you even noticed me. I like how easy it is to be with you, and talk to you."
Aaron took both of her hands in his and stared deep into her eyes, beyond her eyes, to her soul. "Then why are you doing this?"
"Because, as much as I like you, my relationship with God comes before everything else," Dinah said. "I know what's right and wrong, and I know what God expects of me."
"You're serious about this?" Aaron stated, almost a rhetorical question. "You'd only date me if I became a Christian?"
"Aaron, I'm sorry. That's the way it has to be," Dinah whispered.
Aaron dropped her hands from his and they suddenly seemed ice cold. "Don't be upset," he said gently. "That's the way it has to be."
Tears sprang to her eyes as she sensed him leaving, both physically and emotionally. "Aaron," she said desperately. "If you change your mind ... I'll be waiting for you."
He nodded. "Goodbye, Dinah."
He turned and walked away, and Dinah watched him leave. The wellspring of emotion inside her rose and destroyed the thin veneer of control she had struggled to maintain. Tears streamed down her face as she suddenly realized that this level of emotion didn't come because she merely liked him. She was falling in love with him.
And before it could even start, she had to say goodbye to him. Unable to face going back to her apartment, she sat on the gutter, put her head in her hands, and let the tears fall. She didn't care who walked by and saw her.
When she finally lifted her head, she wiped her cheeks and tried to compose herself before facing Andy and Sandra, who were waiting in her apartment.
This is really hard, God, she prayed. Please help me say goodbye to him if that's what I need to do.
Chapter 14
Back at her apartment, Andy and Sandra took one look at Dinah's red eyes and blotchy face and chose to say nothing.
Sandra decided to make some dinner for all of them — Dinah not being much of a cook — and Andy decided to watch the evening newscast on television.
Dinah had never been so glad that her friends knew to leave her alone, and she decided to read through the lawsuit Senator Winters had sent her.
She watched the top story: the familiar CCTV footage of the bomber as he prepared to wreak destruction on the beautiful cathedral. Then she went back to reading.
It took a long time — taking a break only to eat dinner, when again, the Colemans didn't ask her about Aaron — but she suddenly discovered something interesting. In making the argument for the state's inappropriate involvement in religion, the plaintiff had listed individually the organizations that had received federal funding as defendants. A few pages later, Andy's Ark Experience was also mentioned, though not directly as a defendant but rather as an example of state violations of the First Amendment.
Dinah read through the list of direct defendants several times to make sure she was correct. Every church that had been bombed was listed in the lawsuit. Was that a coincidence?
Dinah read through all of the defendants again. The lawsuit didn't just deal with churches — there were charities, vocational programs, education programs, and family programs that were all independent of a church but still religious in their structure. There were five churches mentioned in the lawsuit — three of which had been bombed. That just couldn't be a coincidence.
There was also something nagging her, in the back of her mind. Something she'd read in the body of the lawsuit that triggered a memory. She couldn't quite dig at it. What was the connection between this lawsuit and the bombings?
Dinah picked up her phone and started to dial Aaron, before she realized that that was no longer an option. So she rang Ferguson instead.
He sounded seriously peeved. "What?" he barked into the phone.
"I'm fabulous, thanks for asking," replied Dinah. "Really, your conce
rn for my well-being is just too much."
"Shut up, Harris," growled her boss. "You don't know what I've had to put up with today. I have never talked to so many disturbed people in all my life!"
"I'm sorry," said Dinah seriously. "Asking the public for help is always a big gamble."
"So what can I help you with?" Ferguson said, sounding slightly less grumpy.
"I've just found all of our bombed churches appear in a lawsuit," said Dinah.
"What? What lawsuit?"
"It's a long story as to how I came to have a copy," said Dinah. "It's a lawsuit filed by a group of secular humanists against religious organizations who receive funding from the government."
"Right, separation of church and state or whatever," said Ferguson.
"Yeah. The bombed churches are all named as defendants in the lawsuit. There are only five churches named as defendants. There are other religious organizations also named, but the bomber so far seems to be only targeting churches."
"You thinking it's too much of a coincidence?"
"Yes — three out of five?" said Dinah. "Out of all the churches in this city?"
"Yeah, I hear you," agreed Ferguson. "Who has access to the lawsuit?"
"It was filed a couple of weeks ago, so anybody who cares to look," said Dinah.
"Did the first bombing occur before or after the lawsuit was filed?"
That was an interesting question. Dinah was silent for a few moments as she worked out the chronology. "The first bombing happened before the lawsuit was filed," she said.
"Excellent, that's what I was hoping. That means our perp had access to the lawsuit before it was filed somehow," said Ferguson. "He must have been involved in putting it together."
"That makes sense," agreed Dinah. "I'll start chasing that down. There are two humanist groups acting as plaintiffs. He could have been active with either of them."
"Good, I'll have Sinclair assist you with that."
Dinah swallowed nervously.
"I'll stick by the phone, I suppose," said Ferguson, sounding discouraged again.
"You're a great boss, you know that?" said Dinah. "Most bosses would make their inferiors work the phone."