by Edeet Ravel
Baby Diary
June 29
Dori has given up her seventh feeding. Today I gave her five feedings and Naftali gave her a bottle at night. She now eats every four hours—7, 11, 3, 7, 11.
Dori
Simon’s mother is doing the afternoon Wake-Up. She never says much. She’s the opposite of Shoshana.
Simon calls his mother Nina. It’s funny. If I called my parents Naftali and Varda how would anyone know I was their daughter? Even we wouldn’t know.21
Nina gives us a bag of treats because it’s Friday. The treats are always a bit disappointing. The candies are plain and the piece of chocolate is hard. And the cookies are the boring kind you give little babies. The only thing I like is the cream wafers but there aren’t any today.
I take my bag of treats and run as fast as I can to the Room. Daddy’s happy to see me. I sit next to him on the sofa and we read Pinocchio.
The only picture I don’t like in Pinocchio is the one at the end when Pinocchio becomes a boy. That boy looks very strange. He’s too skinny and I don’t like his clothes or anything else.
But I’m glad that Pinocchio’s going to turn into a real boy. I’m tired of waiting for his troubles to be over. It’s just one thing after another with Pinocchio. So when it’s time to go back I ask Daddy to read the last page. I want him to read the rest of the story next time but right now I want to hear the last page.
Daddy says I’ll read you a whole other chapter instead. He really doesn’t like reading the end before you get there. But I don’t give in so he reads the end and then he says we have to go.
Now I’m sorry I didn’t give in because I could have had a whole other chapter which would have taken much longer.
I’m so sorry I feel sick.
Our First Year
18 January 1949. Woke up at 5:30 today, crawled over our beds, and stumbled down the road to the kitchen to put in a day’s work. The weather is absolutely miserable. There’s a pool of water in the middle of our room, and surrounding this pool are the beds of twelve people.
At present I’m hunched over a fireplace which produces more smoke than heat, and there are five people packed on either side of me so that I haven’t the elbow room to wield a pencil in my icy fingers. My knees are warm but the rest of me is cold.
But wot-the-hell, it’s been a wonderful day! We’re started, on our own land, and the exhilaration can’t be stamped out by all the hail and sleet in Greenland. Martin, sitting next to me, is trying to read a pamphlet on sub-tropical fruits. That’s Eldar optimism.
We’ve set up three guard posts: at our entrance, at the northeast, and at the north-west of the village … too exhausted and cold to continue writing.
Dori
Soup bits tonight! Only one spoon each though. I don’t know why we can’t have more. Also a slice of cake because it’s Friday. Half chocolate half plain. It’s a bit dry but so what.
In the shower Skye says to Shoshana you promised we could wash our own hair this week. And then everyone says yes you promised you promised even though I can’t really remember any promise.
Shoshana has no choice. She has to let us. I don’t know why Skye wants to wash her own hair but I want to because Skye wants to.
I’ve been hearing lately that if you keep your head up and back instead of down the soap on your hair won’t get in your eyes. You think the soap will get in less if your face is down but it seems it’s better to keep it up.
You have to be a little brave to lift your face because what if it doesn’t work? I gather my courage and do it. I think it works.
Transcript of Meeting April 1961
Topic:
Status of Jeremiah Ben-Jacob
Chair:
Isaac Milman
Isaac:
First on the agenda: Coco and Varda claim, among
other things, that “Jeremiah Ben-Jacob is a danger to
health, does not contribute sufficiently to the kibbutz,
is not a member, has not requested to be considered
for membership, and should be asked to leave Eldar.”
Specific reference was made to Jeremiah’s attempt to
enter the Kitchen after lying on a pile of manure.
Naftali:
I saw him carrying a rat by its tail—who knows where
he was going.
Martin:
He likes garbage. He does a good job collecting all the
garbage—a job no one else especially wants.
Coco:
That’s hardly enough work to justify his expenses.
Martin:
What expenses? He sleeps in the ruins on a pile of hay,
never asks for new clothes, and eats whatever you give
him. He never complains, unlike some people I could
mention.
Nina:
I do feel that he should not be given the job of delivering
clean laundry on the donkey.
Isaac:
If I may go one step further, I also don’t think he should
be allowed to eat in the Dining Hall. No one wants to sit
next to him or handle anything he’s touched, and with
good reason.
Varda:
I agree—it’s extremely unsanitary. We have enough
health issues as it is. I’d like to hear Dafna’s profes-
sional opinion about the health hazard he poses to the
community.
Dafna:
I don’t know that he has anywhere to go. I don’t think
he has anyone in England … he said something to that
effect, though I didn’t entirely understand … We should
remember that he was a well-known Shakespearean
actor once.
Varda:
Once was once. I was Queen Esther once. Now he’s
dotty.
Martin:
I find it offensive to think that our community can’t
find a place for the infirm. If we can’t do that, then we
are all hypocrites and elitists and this entire enterprise
is a farce.
Lou:
I agree completely. What happened to social justice,
brotherhood and freedom?
Edna:
I feel that if someone talks to him and explains that he
can’t enter the Kitchen or Dining Hall unless he’s spic
and span, he’ll stay away.
Varda:
That flea-bitten coat of his makes me nervous.
Isaac:
Last time I came across him, he told me he was Thane
of Eldar.
Martin:
“So foul and fair a day I have not seen.”
Isaac:
Where’s that from, Hamlet?
All:
Macbeth!
Naftali:
The reality is that we operate on a principle of member-
ship and contribution. If he were a member, of course
we’d make every allowance and try to help him. But he
was sent here as a work volunteer and he’s not working.
How can we survive if we take on every vagrant who
wanders in, regardless of what they contribute? We’re
not a hobo camp.
Ora:
I agree with Naftali. It’s down to economics. We’re
struggling to feed ourselves—we simply can’t afford to
be a charity for the mentally ill at this point. As it is we’re
supporting forty-two city children whose costs are only
half covered. A line has to be drawn somewhere.
Martin:
The children again! Every time we need an excuse not
to do something, it’s back to the children. I’ve said it
a million times and I’ll say it again: we are not doing
these children a favour, they are doing us a favour by
allowing us
to raise them, which is a privilege and as far
as I understand, the whole point of our existence.
Isaac:
I feel we’re getting off topic here. We have to come to
some decision about Jeremiah. Is that his real name, by
the way?
Dori
We’re finished drying ourselves with our towels. Gilead comes over and says do you know how to make children? Of course I know. We’re free on Eldar. It’s different in Canada. People aren’t free there. It’s different in the city too. Also on airplanes and boats.
I say I know of course I know. He says do you want to do it?
I say yes. He touches my jinnie with his peenie. Shoshana is smiling. I’m surprised. I don’t see her smiling too often—apart from when she talks to Daddy.
Sex in the Clubhouse
20 May 2002. Seven kibbutz boys aged nine to fourteen were discovered engaged in sodomy and other sexual acts by a concerned adult who forced the door to their clubhouse open after receiving no reply to his knocks. It appears the boys had been meeting regularly in the clubhouse for sex, usually in pairs but sometimes in groups. While kibbutzim generally prefer to handle legal matters internally, police became involved in the case when they were notified by the parents of the nine-year-old. The police are finding it difficult to lay charges as the acts seemed to have been consensual and the boys show no signs of distress.
Online comments:
Don’t believe this article, it’s all a lie. There were developments today and more victims have been identified.
That’s what comes of kibbutz upbringing. They can change its name to Sodom and Gomorrah.
Look in the prisons and tell me if you find a single kibbutz-born criminal.
I know that boy well and he would never do anything like that, he isn’t capable of it.
Don’t you have a life? It’s a great kibbutz, I have many friends there, find something else to do.
I’m in the same grade as the 14-year-old and I want to say that most of us are behind him and forgive him for his mistake in spite of all the sadness and violence. And we hope he comes back to school as soon as possible. And I ask those who know nothing about it to stop commenting.
Stop believing this article, it was non-consensual, and there weren’t seven boys, whoever believes this article is an idiot.
What is this country coming to?
We the kids of 8B support you and want you back. Maybe now you see why I left the kibbutz and returned to God.
In my yeshiva I’m only allowed to get off with other yeshiva students.
With all the television children watch is it any wonder?
I left the kibbutz years ago and the stigma of licentiousness still follows me. It’s completely unjustified.
This is all because not enough money goes to education, it’s all going to the settlements and the religious.
Today’s youth know how to enjoy themselves …
I don’t understand these jocular responses. Even if the relations were consensual it’s appalling. It’s nothing to do with these being homosexual acts. Sexual relations are not for children. This shows one thing only—serious emotional deficiency and specifically lack of parental warmth and attention starting in infancy. And to all those who are cracking jokes: there’s a time and a place.
Ah the kibbutz, the kibbutz! Now everyone’s shocked. They should just think back to what they did as kids to pass the time.
The law prohibits this for the simple reason that sexual acts cannot be consensual for minors and this includes adults who seduce boys who supposedly say ‘yes’. The result is severe emotional damage for the rest of their lives.
The damage occurs when they grow up and face the intolerance of a society that dictates what is right and what should be.
Have all the pedophiles suddenly crawled out from under a rock??
Nu, really! This is nothing new. I grew up on a kibbutz many years ago, these types of events were common. With us the afternoon shower was a laboratory for experimentation; only in our case the police weren’t involved and we had a blast and that’s the way it should be.
Dori
Shoshana says she has a surprise for us. She says because we’ve been so good we’re going to go on a Night Hike. We all begin to shout Night Hike Night Hike! We’re very happy. We rush to put on our pyjamas and slippers.
Finally Shoshana says we can go. It’s hot and dark outside. We walk two by two except for Simon and Elan and Skye who walk single file.
The bushes on both sides of the path have a wonderful sweet smell. You can see all the stars up in the sky and the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper. Actually I’m not sure I know which stars are the Little Dipper but I can definitely see the Big Dipper. The handle points to the North Star. In case I ever get lost and I don’t have a compass I can find my way by following the North Star.
We start singing—
Me and he and you
And Yankele Kangaroo
We went out for a walk
So we could have a talk
We walked hallah hallah
Until we met Abdallah
We punched him in the eye22
And he began to cry
There’s another ending—
We walked hallah hallah
Until we met Abdallah
We said shalom
And he began to cry
But that ending doesn’t rhyme. Some of us sing the ending with the punch and some of us sing the ending with shalom.
I know yallah is Arabic and I can also say it with an Arabic accent. Is hallah Hebrew for yallah? If we have a Hebrew word how come we mostly say yallah? Maybe yallah is more for telling someone to move. It’s fun to say yallah. Especially with the accent. Y’allah y’allah! Let’s get going. Y’allah.23
Baby Diary
July 1
She gave up her night bottle. I fed her at 11:30 and also at 4:00, so I’m giving her six feedings. From 6 to 9 p.m. she’s restless. After that feeding she moans, cries, wants to be held. She’s given water and eventually falls asleep. Maybe she doesn’t get enough food at this time or maybe her stomach hurts. During the day and after every other nursing she falls asleep easily, and sleeps very well between feedings.
Dori
Finally we reach the Dining Hall where the adults are having supper. We run to our parents. Daddy and Mummy are very happy to see me. They give me another piece of cake.
Then everyone sings In the Plains of the Negev. I don’t know all the words but it’s about a soldier who falls in the desert. His mother is crying but a tall lad comes over. He calls her Mother and tells her not to cry because her son was brave and fought the Enemy. And without brave soldiers like her son, the Enemy would break us. The song ends—
If you will it friends
It is no dream
It’s a sad song with a sad tune. Even if another lad wants to be her son she’s still going to miss the son who died. And even if her son died for our land he’s still dead.
Herzl is the man who said if you will it friends it is no dream. Daddy likes to say those words.
One day I’ll have to go to the army too. In other countries women don’t go to the army but here we’re equal. I’ll try to be brave but I don’t know if I’ll succeed. Sometimes I’m brave and sometimes I’m not. When we went to the infirmary to get shots, Dafna the nurse asked who wants to go first? We all said we weren’t afraid but no one wanted to go first. Finally I said I’ll be first and I lay down on the table. Everyone was watching me and feeling scared but I didn’t make a sound. I said it doesn’t hurt at all and after that no one was scared. But that was only partly because I was brave and partly because I like Dafna. I felt that shot the whole rest of the day.
Actually we’re not completely equal in the army. Women don’t go to the front line. The truth is that I’m glad I won’t have to go to the front line. If the Enemy starts shooting I’ll be in the back row. It’s not fair for the men to get killed in
stead of me but I can’t help being glad. It’s wrong but that’s the way I feel. I don’t want to die. Even for our land.
Thy Neck with Chains of Gold
MICHAEL enters from porch. A knapsack hangs over his shoulders. His dress is picturesquely careless. Whistling, he knocks on RITA’s door and opens it. Goes straight to RITA, then slowly turns around, sees his wife, laughs self-consciously and moves towards her.