She returned to her chair where the others were laughing, and Lenny tossed her a towel.
“You always did fight dirty, Lucky,” Blake said with a wink, instantly eliminating the chills the cold water had created and causing her ears to heat up.
Lucy impulsively shot him a smile, forgetting for a moment where they were in time and space.
“What did he say that made you nearly drown him?” Sway interrupted their moment, looking half-alarmed at her behavior.
“He said I was average in the looks department.” Lucy rolled her eyes dramatically. “As if.” The others laughed at her joke, but Blake's eyes got hazy as he stared at her. She looked away from him, too much intensity in his expression.
She settled back into her chair as Chad returned from his dunking. He was going to resume his seat next to Lucy, but Blake beat him to it. She tried not to read into it too much, but it was pretty obvious that Blake wasn't going to let Chad try again.
“You should probably reapply your sunblock, chica.” Lenny tossed her the bottle of heavy duty SPF.
Lucy sighed dramatically and glared at Chad.
“I'll do it for you,” he volunteered with a wide smile, but Blake swiped the bottle from her hand.
“I think you've had enough fun for today. I got this.” His expression was blank as he motioned for her to turn around.
Lucy exchanged a look with Lenny, who raised her eyebrows in the way friends do when they think something amazing is about to happen.
Sway reached out and flicked the back of Chad's ear, causing him to yelp in surprise. Lucy felt herself bristle, realizing there was some sort of unspoken rule about interacting with her. No doubt Blake's own instruction.
She didn't react except to turn her back to Blake, pulling her wet hair off her neck and holding it in a sloppy pile on top of her head.
“Hey, will you guys come with me down to the water? You too, Kendra, you need to take a break from the heat.” Lenny looked at Lucy, silently asking her to go easy on Blake. Fat chance of that, Lucy thought to herself.
Lucy waited until the others were out of earshot before she spoke. “You plan on peeing in a circle around me to keep the boys away or what?”
She stiffened when his hands touched her with the cool lotion on his fingers. He chuckled lightly as he rubbed the sunblock into her skin in slow circles.
“What are you talking about?” he asked, his voice just behind her ear.
“That weird jealousy thing you did just now with Chad.” Lucy tried to ignore how her heart rate had increased with just the feel of his hands on her bare skin.
“Geez, Lucky, can't I just be a decent friend? Does it always have to mean something else?”
His words gave her pause. Had she misread that whole thing? “What about sound check the other day? What was that about?”
His hands stilled on her back and he was momentarily silent. “Sorry about that.”
Lucy wasn't expecting him to say that, and his apology tugged at her heart.
“You want me to do the front?” His whisper in her ear took her by surprise, and she gave herself away when goosebumps rose on her arms.
“Um, no, thank you,” she managed to answer. When she turned around, Blake had moved back to his seat on the blanket to her right. He put his shades back on and stared out over the water as if everything were normal and her heart wasn't threatening to beat through her chest.
She reapplied the lotion to her front side as casually as possible. He didn't look at her at all, and she was left feeling even more confused by him. A moment ago he had acted jealous and familiar with her, now he acted like she wasn't even there. She was right, some things never changed, and they were apparently still in high school. She rolled her eyes and went to lie back when the script tucked into the violent storm tattoo on his left side ribs caught her eye and caused her heart to jolt.
She reached over and pulled his arm up so she could see it better. She hadn't allowed herself the privilege of looking at his incredible side piece, but now she couldn't take her eyes off of it. The storm, the lightning, the horses... it was like looking at a snapshot of their entire relationship. The words registered in her brain, but the reaction was slower in coming. She looked up to his face to find him watching her closely. She swallowed as she tried to form a question.
“Blake?” She frowned, unable to ask the questions that were swirling around in her head. Lucky scars? Is that what I am? A scar? The remnant of a wound? A mark of pain?
He sighed and grabbed his t-shirt, pulling it over his head.
***
What was he expecting, really? He wanted her to see it. He wanted her to ask about it. But when she finally turned her deep brown eyes to his, so soft and confused, he regretted letting her see it at all. When his shirt settled over his torso comfortably he reclined on the blanket and closed his eyes, ignoring her.
“I'll never understand you,” she said as she turned away from him again.
He thought about coming back with a retort, something shitty to piss her off. But he didn't. He'd already pushed the limits too far today. He should have stayed on the bus.
***
Lenny's family owned restaurants all across the country and they happened to have one in Myrtle Beach. They filled the small, private room towards the back, and Luke noticed that Blake and Lucy sat on complete opposite ends of the table. They were doing their best to ignore one another, but if Lucy laughed at something, Blake would look at her and smile.
Luke knew that he should be doing all he could to keep Blake from having to spend any time with Lucy, but he really wanted both bands to go out to dinner together. Lenny had told him that things had seemed all right at the beach so maybe they could be civil with one another. Luke really liked how the two bands interacted and encouraged one another. He desperately wanted this to work out for the long haul, and making sure that Blake could handle being around Lucy was going to be a key element. They had nearly six months left of this, they couldn't avoid each other forever.
Besides, he'd had a very interesting discussion with his lovely wife about mending fences and not living in the past. Her exact words had been, “Sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone in order to see that you're capable of being amazing. And sometimes you have to be pushed.”
***
Blake could smell the honeysuckle from across the room. He hadn't been able to get it out of his head since that afternoon at the beach. The feel of her skin under his hands had him thinking crazy things. He needed to be more careful, he knew that. But here she was again, smelling unfrickingbelievable.
Her laugh was loud and bright. He had missed it. She had always had the loudest laugh in the room, completely unashamed. Pure. Like everything else about her.
“I have to ask, it's killing me not to know,” Sway spoke up loudly from his seat next to Blake, directing his question at Lucy. “Did you ever get married, or what?”
The room grew quiet, people shifted in their chairs, and Lucy's face turned crimson. Blake almost smacked Sway, but part of him was thankful someone had finally asked the question of the year.
“No, I didn't.” Lucy cleared her throat and looked down at her hands in her lap briefly before flitting her eyes up to Blake. He stared back silently.
“Well, yeah, the restraining order made that kinda hard.” Chad laughed, and all eyes turned to him.
“Restraining order?” Blake frowned and felt his jaw tense. If that asshole had hurt her—
“You guys didn't know?” Chad's eyes went wide and then he doubled over in laughter. “Yeah, Frank filed an RO after she shot him.”
The group's attention swung back to Lucy, who let out a heavy sigh and stared at the center of the table. Blake felt a smile tug on the corner of his mouth. Shot him?
“I knew it,” Sway said, slowly nodding his head. “You tried to kill him, didn't you?”
“What? No!” Lucy exclaimed, shaking her head quickly. “It was an accident.”
Chad was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. Lucy gave him a look that was both disappointment and amusement. She took a long drink of her water before calmly telling her side of the story.
“We went hunting... and I... missed. I accidentally shot him in the leg.” She scratched the side of her neck nervously and then reached for her water again.
“Yeah,” Chad nodded in agreement, “that's exactly what the police report said, too.” He guffawed again. “What they left out of the report, but was common knowledge all over town, was that she had walked in on him doing his secretary like two days before that.”
“He was cheating on you?” Blake asked, dumbfounded. His initial impulse was to break the guy's nose again, but that was followed by overwhelming pride that she hadn't let him get away with it. She was too good for that rat bastard anyway.
“This is the part where you say, I told you so.” She almost smiled when she said it. Blake saw an open door and went for it.
“That's what you get for agreeing to marry someone named Frank,” Blake pointed out with amusement.
“Frank is a perfectly regular name.” Lucy glared at him but there was no fire behind it.
“Whatever, the guy was named after wieners,” Blake retorted, causing Chad to laugh even harder.
“You never liked him.” Lucy shook her head, but that smile was still playing on her lips.
“Of course not!” Blake agreed heartily. “He was always after my girl. And it sounds like I had good cause to hate him.”
Lucy shot him a look that he was positive could melt glass, but he gave her a crooked grin.
“Did you or did you not try to kill the guy?” Sway tried to get an answer to his question. Unease and light panic displayed across his features. Sway had always been more than a little afraid of Lucy and her inability to tolerate bullshit.
“Of course I didn't try to kill him, Sway!” Lucy exclaimed. “You know, if I was a vice president I don't think I'd be under this much scrutiny.”
“Damn, I've missed you!” Blake slapped his hand down on the table and laughed out loud. He didn't even care what he was supposed to be doing or how he was supposed to be acting. She was still his favorite person in the whole world. She was smart and funny and she didn't take shit from anyone. How was he supposed to stay away from her at this point?
She finally gave into that smile and she directed it at him from under hooded eyes. He thought his heart might stop. A thousand memories replayed in his head and all of them were sweet and wild. Why did he have to stay away again? They could at least be friends... couldn't they?
“How long have you guys known each other?” Chad took a bite of his burger, ketchup dripping down his chin.
Blake looked to Lucy and she shrugged, letting him answer. “Since we were kids.” He smiled at the memory. “I was eight, she was six... I crashed my bike and was sitting in the gravel, crying my eyes out like a baby when she sat down beside me.” Blake grinned at her, the event replaying vividly in his mind. “She told me I was going to be fine, that I wouldn't die from my injuries. Then she gave me a frog that I'm pretty sure she had been carrying in her pocket.”
“You are the weirdest girl I know,” Sway said, shaking his head, but Blake saw her bite her lower lip as she tried not to smile again.
Her eyes shone brightly as she looked at him. “That was a fun summer.” All he could do was nod.
***
The rest of the night was implausibly easy. No awkwardness, no tension. Blake even switched chairs with Stuart so he could be closer to Lucy. The angst he'd been feeling the past two weeks had evaporated. She was laughing and he was laughing and no one was bothering them. He got caught up on the events back home that he had missed while he'd been gone. It really was two best friends reuniting after way too long apart.
When they got back to the buses, he grabbed her fingers lightly and tugged her to a stop before she could go back to her bus and they went back to how things had been. She was wearing the band shirt he had given her when he'd first joined DBS. He didn't point it out, he simply reveled in the fact that she hadn't let go of their whole history.
“Chad was pretty brave throwing you in the ocean today, knowing that you shoot people,” he teased her, enjoying the gentle curve of her mouth as she smiled in return.
“I told you, it was an accident. I missed.” She raised her eyebrows, imploring him to believe her.
“You forget, Lucky, I know you. You don't miss.” He held her eyes for a beat longer than necessary. “We can do this, can't we?” he asked carefully.
“Do what?” She held her breath, and he noticed.
“We can be friends again... without all the pain and drama, right?” He looked down at her hand in his and felt a deep longing that he knew he needed to suppress.
“I would really like that,” she whispered, not looking away from him.
In that moment, after she confirmed they could be friends, he was overcome with the ache of wanting her. He swallowed the words that would express his true desire and realized that even if they were friends, he would never be over her. Not really. Instead, he forced a smile, like he was happy with her answer, and folded her into a hug.
He walked her to the steps of her bus and said goodnight, hoping that he knew what he was doing and that he wouldn't end up hurting them both again.
His thoughts carried him on a walk away from the buses and down a sidewalk. He had been so adamant that he'd stay away from her. Was his change of mind really due to the fact that she hadn't married that asshole after all? That she had, instead, shot him, rather than marry him? Those simple facts had brought an incredible amount of joy back into his heart. And hope.
He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He wished he knew a better way to make his brain work. He wished he could get his head and his heart to come to some sort of agreement.
He turned around and called into the darkness to the ghost that had been his shadow since he had disappeared in Pryor. “K, come here, I need to talk to you.”
Predictably, Kendra stepped from the shadows and approached him with wide, uncertain eyes. She never strayed far from him, and he always knew when she was there. They'd started to have nightly talks since Lucy had joined the tour and he'd spilled his whole sob story to her. She gave good advice, considering her age, and he valued her perspective.
“Do you think I screwed everything up tonight with Lucy?”
“Geez, Blake.” Kendra's uncertainty dissolved into disappointment and Blake almost laughed at her. “You never think of these things before you act, do you?”
“It's a hard habit to break,” he admitted.
“Honestly? I think you guys are awesome together. You pretty much proved that tonight. But maybe don't start trying to braid her hair right away, she's still really hung up on you.”
“How did you get so insightful?” He hooked an arm around her neck and tugged her down the moonlit sidewalk.
“Years of being invisible.” Kendra sighed. “Can't hide from you for some reason.”
“You really think that being friends will work, huh?” Blake asked for clarification.
“No... I think you're crazy in love with her and you need to tell her. Honesty is the best policy.” She crossed her tiny arms against the chill blowing off the ocean and leaned into him for warmth.
“She told me she wasn't my girl anymore,” Blake pointed out, but noticed the bitterness had left his tone.
“Start by being friends again, that's the first good idea you've had this whole time. You guys have enough of a foundation that the rest will eventually fall into place. And don't try any phony bologna stuff on her. She's too smart and she'll see right through it. You'll lose all credibility with her.”
Blake sniggered at Kendra's phrasing. “Just say bullshit, K.” He practically felt her roll her eyes in the dark.
She didn't rise to the bait. “C'mon, Blake, you know I'm right.”
“I know, you always are,” he nodded begrudging
ly.
***
“Dinner went very well tonight,” Lenny murmured as she crawled into bed next to Luke. She wrapped her legs in his and snuggled close to his side.
“Remarkably,” he agreed, his eyes closed.
“You talk to Shane today?” she asked, leaning over him and turning the light off.
“Yeah... he's got some good ideas for you to look over when we get to New York. I think you should sign with him.”
“I probably will.” She rested her head on his chest and listened to the steady rhythm that she had grown familiar with over the past few months. “I don't want to be away from you, though,” she whispered into the dark.
He brought his hand up and smoothed her hair back. “You won't be, not really. We have radar love, baby. We'll never be disconnected.”
She smiled at his reassurance before drifting off to sleep.
Chapter 6
Black Heart Inertia
The more time Lenny spent with Lucy, the more she appreciated the girl's spontaneous and infectious happiness. Even when Lucy was having a crummy day, her smile was bright and her laugh was eager. She never let the road weariness get to her, and her ability to find positivity in all the small moments was a breath of fresh air.
Lenny leaned back in her chair in the sound booth and kicked her feet up on a box. She laced her fingers together behind her head and closed her eyes, letting the sound of Lucy's strong vocals tangle deeply into her thoughts. The girl had talent, no doubt. What Lenny still couldn't figure out was why she seemed so comfortable being the back-up singer. Never the main attraction. It wasn't stage fright or lack of confidence, she was a natural in the spotlight. Still, she was content to be Taylor Stevens' shadow. The Carter to his Cash. The Jordanaire to his Presley... Lenny's brow furrowed at that thought. Not a good comparison.
Taylor was an excellent performer, but Lenny knew that even he could tell that Lucy was better than a simple chorus girl. Maybe she needs to be persuaded.
It was something that had been on the minds and lips of the crew as well. She noticed how they would find pockets in their daily work to listen to Lucy warm up on stage with Chad and Stuart before Taylor would arrive.
In Your Honor Page 8