She slipped out from underneath him and crept through the still sleeping bus, changing her clothes before heading out to find some food.
When she stepped off the bus, she found Kendra at the bottom of the steps with a bag of greasy fast food and an embarrassed look on her face.
“I brought you this.” She held out the bag, her hazel eyes filled with remorse. “I'm sorry for what I said last night. I was wrong.”
Lucy took the offered food and impulsively hugged the girl. “It's okay, you were worried. I get it.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked sincerely, eager to make amends.
“Not really, the food is a good start.” Lucy smiled gratefully. “He's gonna have to learn this lesson on his own.”
Kendra considered her words before responding. “You guys are a lot closer than I realized. You know him... better than I do... better than any of us. I'm sorry I said the things I did. I had no right.”
“It's okay, Kendra. Really.” Lucy sighed and turned to take the food back into the bus. “Blake has a way of bringing out the best and the worst in the people who care about him the most. He lives in the extreme.”
“You don't—um, you don't think you guys will end up together?” Kendra asked as Lucy reached the door.
She paused, letting her mind go over all the things that had happened in the past few hours. “No.” The word came out with a simple finality that made Lucy take a breath. It just wasn't meant to be. And she could see that now.
Chapter 12
Dig
The next week went by way too quickly. At least it did for Blake.
He spent as much time with Lucy as possible, soaking up her sunshine. He was going to miss her. It didn't matter that he had gone years without seeing her before, this was different. He had been able to lie to himself in the past, said that he didn't need her, said that he could find anyone to fill that void. He had come to the distinct realization that he had been very wrong.
But there were other things that needed to be taken care of. Needed to be handled.
Repaired.
If he lost her forever while he was busy dealing with those things, then so be it. Hopefully God would see fit to give her the happy life she deserved.
He made the final arrangements with the airline and packed his small suitcase. The only one who knew where he was going was Sway. It wasn't a huge secret, he simply didn't want to discuss it with anyone. The less he thought about it, the better.
He watched Lucy walk across the pavement with her duffle and look around. Her hair blew around her face and he wished he could take a picture, capture her in this moment. He stepped out from around his bus and slowly made his way toward her. She spotted him and a smile spread across her already perfect face.
“I was afraid I wasn't going to get to say goodbye.” She stepped towards him and he automatically took her bag from her, tossing it over his shoulder.
“I wouldn't let that happen.” He forced a happy face despite the tightness in his chest.
“What are you going to do with your week off?” She playfully punched his shoulder. “Gonna get yourself a tan and do some shopping?”
He grimaced slightly and turned to walk her to the waiting taxi. “Not exactly.”
“I'll have my phone on me.” She glanced over at him, concern radiating off of her. “You know, in case something happens.”
Blake took a deep breath and looked straight ahead. Goodbyes were always weird. But this one was particularly troublesome for him.
They came to the car and he loaded her bag in the trunk of the cab. They were both moving slowly, and he couldn't help but wonder if she was feeling the same heaviness that he was. He took time looking over her face, being careful not to miss anything. Something he wished he'd done more of years back.
He slipped his hand under her hair and cupped her neck, stroking her jaw line with his thumb. It was a deeply intimate movement, but she didn't pull away.
“Have a great week off.” His voice was thick and he swallowed to help clear it. “I'll see you in one week and I want to hear all about it.”
She studied him with her dark eyes, trying to read his expression. She didn't reply, she just nodded as he folded her into a hug. Her arms wrapped around his neck and gripped him tightly.
Stepping back, he gave her a smile. “You better get going, you don't want to miss your flight.”
She smiled as well, more on her mind than she was expressing, and turned to get in the back of the cab. Suddenly she stopped and faced him.
“Blake?” Her voice uncertain.
He tilted his head in question at her and she walked back to him, staring intently into his face.
“Am I making a mistake?” She was almost whispering, and he noticed the slight tremble in her words. “You were right about Frank and I didn't listen. Tell me the truth, Blake. Please.”
He sighed and took her face in his hands. How he wanted to say those things. If she only knew how much he wanted to cause a scene and drop to his knees and beg her to take him back. Choose me, Lucky. Pick me. Love me.
“Lucky,” he began, knowing that he could at least give her what she needed in this moment. “I don't know if Shane is the guy, but you have to find out. I can't make that decision for you.”
Her eyes were beginning to fill with tears and he couldn't let her cry. If she started to cry then he would never let her go. He brushed a stray hair out her face with his fingertips.
“If the guy is a total douche nozzle then call me, I'll come and get you.”
She gave him an almost-smile. “Promise?”
“With everything I have,” he replied seriously. Leaning in, he kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger on the softness of her skin. He inhaled the sweet smell of honeysuckle one last time and then stepped back, letting her go.
She got in the cab this time without hesitation. He watched it drive away and ran both hands through his hair. His lungs blew all the air out of them and he shoved his hands in his pockets.
This week was going to be important for both of them. He knew she'd be safe. Shane was a good guy. A great one, truth be told. She'd have a wonderful time and more than likely come back in love. That's what made sense.
And Blake was going home. To do what he should have done years ago.
***
Lucy held the tears at bay until she was alone in the airport bathroom. The emotional and confusing goodbye with Blake, the crowded and busy terminal, and the fear that Shane might not be there when she arrived in San Diego had her overwhelmed.
She crouched down in the stall and let her tears out. She didn't weep or ugly cry. Just small, simple tears. She took several steadying breaths, fixed her makeup in the mirror and made it to her gate just as the call to board was announced.
The flight wasn't long, and she focused on putting her thoughts in order. She couldn't explain the emotional upheaval she had found herself in that morning. She knew that things with Blake were over, but it still hurt like hell to have to say goodbye.
Maybe it was because she'd never gotten the chance before. He'd always slipped out in the middle of the night or had left at the height of a horrible fight. She'd never been given the chance to look him in the eye and been evenly and reasonably told goodbye.
It sucked.
She was looking forward more than ever to Shane's steady and grounding presence. She needed to be anchored.
***
Shane packed and then unpacked and then repacked his suitcase. He didn't want to bring too many clothes, but then he thought maybe he might not have enough.
He sighed with frustration. He was over thinking it.
He'd been back home for a couple days, just enough time to check in with Clarke and sign some papers. He told her where she could reach him for the next week and then went home to freak out.
He liked Lucy. More and more every day. But this was the most unconventional pursuit of a girl he had ever experienced. Texting, phone calls,
their first date was also going to be their first trip together... it was surreal.
He had never been so nervous in his life. And considering what he did for a living, that was saying something.
He settled on the least pretentious clothes he owned, a couple of wetsuits and a bunch of pillows and blankets. He had no idea what the sleeping arrangements were going to look like, and he didn't want Lucy thinking that he'd assumed they'd just sleep together. And with that thought, a whole new realm of panic set in.
Get it under control, Brookings. Don't freak out, you got this.
He threw his luggage into the back of his Land Rover and pointed it back towards the shop. He normally would take the Mercedes on a first date to impress the girl, but he needed to carry the surfboards somewhere. Besides, he figured that Lucy wasn't the kind of girl to be impressed by shiny things.
“Back again? Dontcha trust me?” Clarke asked with a smirk as he jumped out near the doorway.
“I need a couple boards for the week.” He eyed Clarke up and down. “Lucy is about your size. You think you can set me up with a wetsuit for her?”
“No problem, boss.” Clarke was already turning to go back inside.
Shane was strapping the boards to the roof when she reemerged with a brown paper bag in hand.
“I grabbed a few bonus items you may have overlooked.” She gave a cocky smile and he looked inside the bag. Sunscreen, the new women's Oakleys they were stocking, a couple of women's tank tops, and board wax.
“You're always making me look better than I am.” He grinned at her and she pretended to tip her hat. He threw the bag in the backseat and straightened the second board before wrapping the strap over the top.
Clarke leaned up against the Land Rover and patted the side of the vehicle tenderly. “I love this thing. I have this hope that someday it'll end up being my Christmas bonus.”
Shane chuckled. “That is a very real possibility.”
“Don't tease me!” she gasped, her turquoise eyes went wide as she clutched her chest dramatically. “I don't think my heart can take it.”
“You make it sound like I don't pay you enough.” Shane arched an eyebrow and Clarke looked over her shoulder, pretending to avoid him.
“Is that what that sounds like?”
“You live in a far swankier zip code than I do,” Shane reminded her playfully, tightening the last strap with a grunt.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Clarke waved off his words and crossed her arms over her chest. “Not to add to your anxiety but...” She raised an eyebrow at him as he came around the side of the SUV. “Harmony came in while you were gone.”
Shane rolled his eyes and dug his keys out of his pocket. “She steal anything?”
“No, but I did overhear her talking about staying in a beach house with a bunch of people this next week in Encinitas.”
“Figures,” Shane grunted.
Clarke pushed off the car. “I thought you'd like a heads-up.”
Harmony was one of too many girls that he had chosen to use. She didn't exactly overlap his time with Lenny, but it was close enough to make him still feel guilty about it. The difference with Harmony and most of the other girls who'd made their way in and out of his bed was that she didn't seem to mind being used. She didn't expect a relationship from him, and all they shared in common was their selfish desire for physical satisfaction.
That aspect had its pros and cons. The pro was that she didn't mind when he cut her loose. The con: she was usually sleeping with someone in his circle of friends, so he still ended up seeing her all too often. A constant reminder of his past sins and how he had screwed up every decent relationship he'd ever had.
“Thanks,” he replied, and meant it. He wiped the sweat off his face with the hem of his shirt and faced the head of his West Coast operations. “Not just for the warning about Harmony, but for everything you do around here.”
Clarke raised her hand, thumb and pinky extended, waving the shaka sign. She was already heading inside the building, her caramel hair bouncing around her shoulders. She was the perfect embodiment of the surfer-chick look and she represented his company well. “Have fun and tell Serge I said 'what's up.'”
“Will do!” Shane chuckled, and climbed back into his vehicle. He checked the clock, it was time to get to the airport and pick up his Oklahoma wildflower.
***
Lucy flowed with the other passengers off the plane, no need to go to baggage claim because she only had her one small carry-on. More than once during her two and a half hour flight, she wondered if she'd brought enough clothes, but then she'd remember that she didn't have many clothes to speak of so... no real choice there.
She scanned the waiting faces of people picking up their loved ones, trying to push the crouching anxiety further into the pit of her stomach. Her eyes caught a handmade sign that read: BIGFOOT. She smiled as she saw Shane peeking at her over the top of it.
“I couldn't remember your name,” he teased as she gave him a reproving look.
“Hi,” she greeted him simply, knowing her ears were already past pink and heading to full on crimson.
“Hi.” He grinned at her. “You look surprised to see me.”
“Not surprised. Relieved,” she corrected.
“You didn't think I'd show up?” His brows pulled together.
“I didn't know what to expect,” she admitted shyly. “Everything about you seems too good to be true. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” His honey eyes scanned her face, and she felt her blush spread throughout the rest of her body.
Giving her a crooked smile, he shouldered her duffle with one arm and grabbed her hand with the other. “Are you hungry?” he asked as he led her out the door and into the California sunshine.
“No,” she replied, shaking her head, “but I will be in a couple hours.”
“Perfect,” he replied with a nod. He guided her through the parking lot to his waiting vehicle. Opening the back door of the Land Rover, he set her bag inside. “I have a place in mind then.”
She felt a jolt of excitement go through her when she saw the surfboards strapped to the top. This was really happening.
She looked up to see Shane leaning against the car door, studying her with that calm confidence that seemed to roll off of him in waves, his dark shaggy hair dropping down low over his eyes.
“What?” she asked, unable to stop the silly grin that wanted to take over her face.
“You know how you build something up in your mind and it becomes better than the reality?”
She nodded apprehensively, not really knowing where he was going with this.
“That's not the case with you. You're even prettier than I remember.” He stepped towards her and grabbed her hand. “I'm so glad you're here.”
“Me too,” she replied honestly, noticing his gaze shift to her mouth and back to her eyes. Yes, kiss me. Please kiss me.
But he didn't. It was like he knew what she was thinking, and he smiled slyly before opening her car door. She got inside, feeling a combination of disappointment and giddiness.
Oh, he would be kissing her. Or she would be kissing him. Either way, it was totally happening.
***
Blake's flight left Seattle a couple hours after Lucy's. He hadn't wanted her to know where he was going, so he made sure to get a flight that would leave well after hers.
“You can tell them after I go.” Blake tossed his bag into the back of the waiting cab and turned to Sway. He didn't want a bunch of questions or to have to look at their worried and pinched faces when he departed. They'd all want to hug and shit.
“You gonna be all right?” Sway, for all his vainglory and swagger, was a really good and sincere friend. It was evident in the grey tint to his periwinkle blue eyes that he was concerned for Blake's mental well-being. Blake never went too far without one of the guys in his shadow, either sharing in his debauchery or trying to save him from it. This time
, there would be thousands of miles in between them all, and Blake would be on his own.
“Yeah,” Blake nodded, and Sway clapped him on the shoulder and added a chin lift. It was as sentimental of a goodbye as they were both comfortable giving.
The noon flight put him in Tulsa around five o'clock local time. He picked up his little rental car and made the thirty-plus mile drive to Pryor. He hadn't been home without the band surrounding him in years. They had always been his excuse and reason for why he didn't do the things normal people did when they visited their hometown. His own safety net.
Weirdly, he'd discovered a peace once he'd made the decision to come here. He still wasn't looking forward to what he knew was lurking in the days ahead, but he felt, more than ever, that it was time. And he would find a way to get through it.
The familiar small town and side streets caused a wave of nostalgia to roll over him, not something he was used to. He must have missed this old town after all. The well-manicured lawns and simple farmhouse décor of his old neighborhood brought a smile to his unshaven face. It was almost exactly as he'd left it.
He pulled into the driveway and stared up at the house he had grown up in. He had no idea if she would be home, and he hadn't told her he was coming. He let out a heavy sigh and ran his hand over his face.
“Here we go,” he muttered to no one.
His feet felt like lead weights as he climbed the worn wooden steps of the porch. A thousand different memories played in his head in the short journey. More than half of them included Lucy.
The porch swing his dad had built still hung strong to his right. He'd slept on that thing more nights than he could count when Mama had locked him out because he'd missed curfew. Those nights had usually involved Lucy as well.
He paused for far too long, staring at the front door. He finally blinked hard and shook his head, rapping on the screen door with his knuckles.
He had no idea what he was going to say or if she would even be happy to see him. He was poring over all the possibilities, second-guessing coming here at all. He was just about ready to turn around to get back in the car when the door opened.
In Your Honor Page 18