by Fifi Flowers
I slipped out of the room with a snack and went to our house on the property. I sat on the deck for a while listening to the waves breaking on the shore. I enjoyed the smell of the salty air. Maybe I would be okay I thought as I hugged myself. Feeling tired, I took a shower then pulled on some panties and a tank top, then made a detour from my room and got in between the sheets of Jinxie’s bed.
Sometime after midnight, she curled up next to me. “How did Carson get away with being anonymous on the ranch?” I asked quietly.
“He was spotted from time to time but he brushed it off. People would say, ‘Hey you’re Carson Crosby,’ and he’d say the same thing every time, ‘Yep, I hear that a lot, but put a ten gallon hat on any man and instant cowboy—we all look alike.’ Then he’d laugh like hell. It worked too as he added, ‘I’m just Hank Griffin, ranch owner.’ Even though he denied it, he often took pictures with them. He was a real character, that man. Grandpa and Carson were so different. Grandpa never minded people knowing who he was, Hank wanted to be left alone.”
She was right Tex had created a successful surf business using his cowboy persona, displaying his memorabilia for all to see around the shop. He took pictures with people, signed autographs. Carson did do the same when he was around Tex, but it stopped once he drove under the Bleu Moon Ranch sign, apparently.
“Sorry I didn’t teach you about love, Jade.” I turned and looked at her face in the moonlight, she looked so sad and beautiful at the same time. “I hope you haven’t stayed away from relationships because of me. I’ve loved the same man all my life and he was mine for a little more than twenty-eight years. I made the biggest mistake of my life not letting him in completely. When it’s gone you are filled with nothing but regret. Don’t do what I did, let Sage love you.”
“He hasn’t professed his love to me, remember. He said I was something, I was amazing. That he ached for me, but never the four letter word. When we left he said you know where to find me when you’re ready.”
“He loves you, you love him. You know it, he knows it.” She hugged me closer to her and kissed my forehead.
“I don’t want to play around, dropping hints of love. I don’t want to run to him either. I want what Bonnie has. Tex pursued her, he never let up, he took her off to get married, he didn’t even ask—he just made things happen.”
“Grandpa is one in a million, that’s for sure. A truly larger than life man. You don’t find many men like him.” I sensed she held Carson in that same category.
“Were you afraid talking to them? I’m sorry I left you, but it looked like I needed to leave.” Tucked under Jinxie’s chin, my head on her shoulder, she pet me, and it felt like old times. Safe, up next to my mama like when she told me bedtime tales.
“A little bit at first, but once I started I couldn’t stop. It was a long time coming, years too late. Learn from my mistakes, let him in. He has a right to be part of your life.” As her words of encouragement continued, I fell into a deep slumber.
As sunlight streamed through glass doors that faced the sea, I awoke to an empty bed. Stretching out, I suddenly felt terrible and ran for the bathroom. My stomach was going crazy. Needing some bland food to settle the acidity that was giving me heartburn, I went to see if Bonnie had blueberry pancake mix. Better yet, she had baked blueberry muffins with streusel topping and they were coming out of the oven as I entered the kitchen. “I love you, Bonnie,” I said, getting creamy butter and apricot preserves out of the refrigerator.
Seated on a bar stool, I peeled back the muffin paper and split it in two. Yummy! I took a big whiff. Then after slathering it with my two favorite toppings I practically shoved it in my mouth. So good! Two went down very easily. “I see history repeats itself.” She was staring at me strangely.
“What do you mean?” I looked around. “Where is Tex and Jinxie?”
“They took off up the coast to ride the high surf. Your grandpa got a call from a couple of his new instructors at the crack of dawn. He went to get your mother. She’s as crazy as he is about the waves. Don’t avoid me!”
“I’m not avoiding you, I’m sitting right here.”
“I knew when your mother returned that we were going to have an extra mouth to feed around here. I saw you get sick last night and you look a bit fuller around the middle.” She moved her arms around her own body indicating the area she was referring to. I just looked at her dumbfounded, she thought I was pregnant!?
Was she right? “I got sick… this morning too.” Oh my!
“You need to take a test.”
“You might be right about…” I started counting back when I last had a full cycle. Before I went to the ranch was the last time I remembered a heavy flow. The last couple had been light to barely anything. “Well, I may have been more thorough than Jinxie, I could have two. He’s a twin. His father was a twin too. And his father before him.”
“Holy moly!”
“You can say that again.”
“Let’s go, put on some shoes, we’ll hit the drugstore.”
Five different pregnancy tests later, the positive signs appeared immediately on all of them, quicker than the allotted time stated on the boxes. Shit!
Did that mean twins?
Did it mean that I was further along?
Did I get pregnant on our first time? The Columbine tent?
It really didn’t matter when it happened, it happened. Sage was going to be a father… I was going to be a mother. Oh my God! History was repeating itself, except that we were not hiding it. By the time Jinxie and Tex walked in the door, all of the test applicators were on display like a museum exhibit, along with a sonogram picture.
Bonnie was not satisfied with just a store bought test and took me down to her doctor who fit us in right away, at her request. Providing your doctor’s whole family with surfing lessons seemed to give you a bit of weight when you needed an appointment stat. But to be honest, I’d never witnessed anybody saying no to Bonnie when she wanted something. Armed with prenatal vitamins, along with every pamphlet off the obstetrician’s wall, our next stop was the grocery store. She stocked our cart with all healthy foods and a few crazy cravings I had been having lately. What was wrong with me? How did it take Bonnie only one look at me to figure it out?
Well, she hadn’t figured out everything, like the two heart beats. They showed up on the screen and they made a funny sound over the speakers. I was continuing the Donovan family tradition, twins. Due to arrive in six months, it appeared that they were lightning storm babies after all. The only thing we didn’t know for certain at that moment; were they cowboys or cowgirls or one of each? I wasn’t familiar with how the twin thing worked, but I was going to find out. And soon enough so was Sage—only, how and where was I going to tell him?
CHAPTER TWENTY
Sage
I couldn’t stand it, for once in my life the ranch had absolutely no appeal to me. It was missing the best addition I had ever made to it, Jade. Little did I know that the stunningly beautiful, crayon-red haired woman ranting and abusing her vehicle would climb right up into my heart. I knew there was something about her that I felt I needed. I wanted forever. Love at first sight? Did I believe that? I did in hindsight. She took my breath away and I wasn’t about to let her slip from me. I had decided standing in that gas station. The proposition came out quickly and I have not regretted it for one minute, truly. She scared me, but I would go back and invite her to the ranch all over again.
The ranch came alive with her presence, she added a new dynamic. Just her vibrant hair color alone brightened each day when I saw her first thing every morning, preferably in bed. Then later in the day, just a glimpse of her in the lodge, in the meadow, in the stable, on a horse, wherever, I lit up instantly. She was painting the ranch surroundings, but she painted the place without lifting a paintbrush. She was the best thing I ever brought to the property, best improvement by far.
Yet I found myself without her. I had her in my arms and then I let her go. Even
if she needed to clear her head, to figure things out, I should have gone with her. I needed to go get her, I wanted her back—she belonged on the ranch, with me. She loved it, I knew she did, she said she did. Ginnylee… Jinxie contacted me and said she was missing the ranch and sad. She didn’t say that Jade missed me, I guess she felt her daughter needed to tell me that.
Fine, she was going to get the chance to tell me I told myself as I packed a bag. It was time for a road trip out West. Tossing my stuff in the cab of my truck, I told Norma that I was bringing back our girl. She said, “You better,” as she handed me an opened letter from the lawyer. “Read it when you stop for the night.” Normally I would’ve driven straight through, but I was getting a late start and truthfully I was not sleeping very well since Jade left. It would be stupid to crash on the way and never reach my cowgirl.
Driving off the ranch property, I found myself humming her funny little song that I heard coming from her lips since the first day we met. Only I sang it the correct way: I wanna be a cowboy, so you can be my cowgirl. Then I laughed like a loon and put on her favorite Lady A satellite radio station.
Stopping for the night, I found a hotel with a restaurant and checked in. I was so tired I was about to call room service and crash out. Instead, I jumped in the shower to wake up a bit then headed to the bar in the lobby. Seated on a stool, I ordered an ale and steak before I opened the obviously read letter. Pulling it out, I could tell that it had been crunched by the reader’s hands and I began to feel apprehensive. Certainly Norma would not send me on my way with bad news, right?
Taking a few swigs, I leaned back and unfolded the legal document that held another sealed envelope stamped confidential. I felt my stomach do a tumble as I realized that Norma didn’t know what was inside and I was scared. I was on my own to view medical records regarding Jade, information that she had insisted that I know, that I see for myself. She could’ve only allowed my access to the results, as to whether she was Hank’s… Carson’s daughter, as the twins had. However she signed documents that showed far more than I needed to know, but upon reading the papers before me I was happy to have access to everything.
After finding out the results from the blood test, I was afraid that a battle with Jade may be imminent. I was going to have to prove to her that I loved her regardless of the said findings.
The blood test proved that Jade was, in fact, Hank’s daughter and that she was going to be a mama. Since the attorneys’ asked for her to be tested with their own lab of choice, our attorneys’ requested that the twins submit to a blood test and DNA test, as well. Turned out that they were not Hank’s children according to the results.
Not only was I shocked to find out that they were not legitimate at all, but to find out that I was going to be a father. I think I was even more shocked that I wasn’t freaked out. Jade was the woman I loved, the woman I wanted to be my forever and the woman I wanted to carry my children. Granted I hadn’t imagined that it would happen so soon, but sometimes things happen for a reason or just as a surprise. Either way, I was actually thrilled and excited and hoped that she would believe me, and would come willingly back to the ranch. I wasn’t going to let her slip out of my sight as Hank had.
Funny! Seemed like the ranch was truly a breeding ground. Jade, like Ginnylee, had left the ranch carrying the owner’s baby. But I was determined to change the ending… not the ending… no, there would be a new beginning. Our child would know me and everyone else would know that I was his or her father. More than that, I planned to take her back to the ranch to live forever even if I had to rope and tie her to get her there. Hopefully, it wouldn’t come to that.
Back on the road at the crack of dawn, I drove with a silly grin on my face. I was going to be a daddy. I couldn’t get there fast enough, and yet I began to question my plan of attack… or surprise. Did I drive straight to the surf shop? Would she be there? Should I stop and buy them both a gift? Did she know? The test had come to me per her consent, she said she had nothing to hide. Did she get a copy too? She had to be four months pregnant. Wouldn’t she be feeling something? I should let her tell me, right? Just in case. “Hey, Jade you’re going to have a baby and you’re coming home with me.” No, that probably shouldn’t be my approach. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was just so excited to see her after almost a month. Too long without her.
Arriving in the little beach town where Jade grew up, I parked right outside the Cowboy-unga Surf Shop. Walking in I asked if Jade was in. “Can I help you? What do you want with her?” a teenage surfer boy asked me with a puffed out chest. I instantly liked him, I knew my cowgirl was looked after, but I was present, my turn to take over.
“I’d like to book a surfing lesson with Jade. I heard she’s the best instructor.”
After signing paperwork, getting outfitted in a wetsuit, sized up for a board, and of course paying, he directed me to the beach area to meet up with my teacher.
I saw her right away. Let’s face it, no one could miss her in a crowd or across a sandy shoreline. She didn’t recognize me until I was practically upon her. “Where’s your hat, cowboy?” Her first words and smile were encouraging. At least I didn’t hear her say “Go back to where you came from.”
“Left it back with my horse.”
“That’s a damn shame, I’m a sucker for a certain cowboy with a straw hat.”
“Is that right, Ma’am?”
“What did I tell you about calling me ma’am!? Do I look like an old woman? A married woman? No ring, see.” She held up her ring finger.
“My mistake, Miss. Although you look like you should be married.”
“Is that so? And why do you say that?” Her hands fisted and went to her waist. It was in that moment that I noticed a definite belly bump. A pretty good size one, actually. “What are you staring at?” She was a sassy little mama, I liked it and smiled.
“The most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my life. A woman I’m madly in love with, you got a problem with that?” I stood my distance taking every inch of her in. Damn! Her wetsuit showed off every delicious curve.
“Only if you don’t take me in your arms and properly greet me within the next two seconds. I’m wait…” She never finished her sentence. With two large steps, she was wrapped up in my arms and my mouth covered hers, saying a very proper hello to my surf instructor, my lovely cowgirl. If not for hoots and hollers from other beachgoers, I may have been arrested for indecent behavior in public.
Broken apart, I asked her if she was going to give me a lesson, and I worried at the same time. Was she out surfing with my baby in her belly? Wasn’t it uncomfortable lying down on her stomach on the hard board? “Can you give lessons?” I looked down.
“You know? Did Jinxie contact you?” I nodded and then I shook my head.
“Yes, she called me. No, she didn’t tell me, I got a letter from the lawyers. Norma gave it to me as I was driving off the property to come get you and bring you home. I read it last night. Not only did it say that you were pregnant, but Hank’s twin boys are not his—you’re his only true child. There are a lot of things that will begin to happen with his estate. I’m sure that they will be in contact with you soon.”
“You were coming to bring me home… Before you knew?”
She skipped right over the news about the twins and moved right to my feelings for her. Who could blame her, she was the only important part about the letters. And even without the results, I wanted her forever by my side.
“Yes, Jade. You belong there with me. It’s not the same without you, it doesn’t feel like home since you left. And that’s saying a lot, I ran away to the ranch and found happiness for the first time in my life.”
“Were you unhappy in your childhood?”
“Let’s sit down,” I said.
She nodded, pulling me to an area where a bunch of surfboards, beach chairs and towels were grouped. “How’s this? I can’t leave until one of the guys from the shop comes to relieve me,” she asked as we snuggled
up cozily together on a beach towel, Jade sitting between my legs with my arms around her, both of us facing the ocean.
“Perfect,” I said and then launched into my story. “I didn’t have the best home environment, no. My father was a little rough with my mother. Mainly just prone to pushing and slapping, neither appropriate nor acceptable. My mother was a strong woman in public, but belittled in the family home. My father cheated. She confronted him, ‘Don’t teach the boys you’re cheating ways.’ That was when he would strike out. Our family vacations and outings were a front.”
“That’s why the scene at the corral with the whip upset you so much?” she questioned softly.
“Yes. They were so unhappy, but stayed together because that was what the Donovan family did. He told her divorce wasn’t an option for years when she told him to leave. Eventually, she decided if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. She started a relationship with an understanding man. She seemed happier and she stopped mentioning my father’s indiscretions. My father caught on to her extracurricular activities. He called her names that he had no right to: tramp, whore, et cetera and the slapping started again. He had someone follow her and she had to give up her friend.”
“Divorce happens all the time. It’s healthier sometimes.”
“I agree, they should’ve parted years ago, but they didn’t. They got along for a while until my father’s playmate ended up having his child. This will really shock you, talk about a messed up family. His family paid off the woman and relocated her. As far as I know I have a half-brother somewhere.”