by Wendy Chen
“You’re so serious, trying to get every exact step.” Adam poked her back, tickling her slightly. He imitated her concentrated expression, which was made even funnier by his attempt to blow his hair out of his eyes.
“I’m just trying not to flail my arms wildly like some people,” Kate laughed. She threw her arms in the air in exaggerated mockery. Adam grabbed her wrists, laughing along with her. The next thing she knew, they were in a tickle fight like two kids, and she laughed harder than she had in ages.
“Damn!” Adam exclaimed, trying to stop a nearly full bottle of beer from toppling behind her. He missed, and they both realized he was practically on top of her, her head back against the arm of the couch, his lips inches from her face. They were both breathless from the dancing, from the tickling. She felt his breath against her mouth, looked into his eyes. His arms were on either side of her—when did he get so … muscular? She’d been in this compromising position a million times before, but never quite like this, and never, absolutely never with Adam. She felt something she couldn’t quite describe—the pleasure of having a man in her arms, sure, that was nothing new. But there was something else there, too, more like … joy? She inhaled the hint of her own floral shampoo and soap, combined with his distinctly male scent. She found it almost intoxicating. This feeling, whatever it was, was uncomfortable in its unfamiliarity. This is crazy. She could have sworn she felt his erection against her thigh, and her body began to respond in spite of herself. A few inches closer and she could claim his mouth with her own, and her breath quickened at the thought of what he might taste like.
And then what? She could enjoy a passionate evening and go back to friendship as usual in the morning. But what about Adam? She doubted he was the type who had a lot of casual hookups. Not to mention he was just out of a relationship that clearly still held a cloud over his head. But most of all, he was her friend, and the last thing she would do was hurt him. Don’t give him the wrong idea. She dropped her gaze. “Party foul! At least it’s not red wine,” she said in a normal tone of voice. Adam moved off of her quickly and smoothly as she moved to clean up the mess. He stood in front of the TV, doing something with the game system, and she was glad his back was turned. Would he have kissed her? Would she have let him? Yes. Her answer surprised her, in spite of her still rapid heart rate. “This would just get messy.”
Adam turned around then, and Kate realized she said that out loud. “This game,” she said hurriedly. “This game could get messy. I don’t think I have enough space for it.” She still didn’t look at him, didn’t want to see what she thought she might see. He couldn’t, couldn’t have feelings for her. She needed him, she realized. Not just as a fake fiancé, she needed him as her friend. And he wouldn’t be if she broke his heart.
That night after Adam left, Kate was straightening up her apartment, putting clothes into a laundry bag to get taken to the Laundromat in the morning. She went through her mail from the week, had a snack, then wiped up the kitchen a little—all mindless things to keep her occupied, and all things that allowed her thoughts to wander. Two of her best girlfriends were in serious relationships now. And Suzanne was always on the lookout for one, so it would only be a matter of time before she found a boyfriend as well. Kate was happy for them, she genuinely was. But between all their work and dating schedules, there was less and less time for their friendships. And Kate had never been a true social butterfly, even when she could be the life of the party. She’d always valued a few close friendships over lots of superficial ones and had been over the moon that she and Adam had reconnected. She let out a heavy sigh. It was a fine balance for men and women to be true friends. In some ways, it would be simpler, actually, if Adam had a girlfriend. Or even someone to date casually. Kate perked up then. That was it. Adam could relieve all his romantic tensions with someone else, and then the two of them could just be friends.
Kate went to her phone and punched in a text to Suzanne:
I’m setting you up with Adam.
OK, Kate admitted to herself while she waited for a response—there weren’t exactly sparks flying when they first met, but maybe Adam just wasn’t the kind of guy to set off sparks right away.
Kate texted again:
Give him a chance. He’s nice.
Finally Suzanne responded:
No
One word, that was it? Kate found herself slightly offended on behalf of her childhood friend. Suzanne was normally pretty open to first dates. Kate’s fingers flew:
He’s smart! He’s cute (kind of). He dresses well (sometimes). Funny in a quiet, witty way.
From Suzanne again:
No
WHY???
Date him yourself.
I’m not that kind of girl, Kate responded.
Kate sighed. She knew it was a dead end with Suzanne, and she wouldn’t be on a quest to set up Adam and play matchmaker. Even if she did have a ton of single female friends, he was too good for just anyone. She would just have to think of something else.
Chapter 12
After their morning run, Kate gathered up her laundry while still in her running gear. “Best thing about New York is,” she said to Adam, “I never have to fold my own clothes, even when I have three weeks’ worth of laundry to do!” Adam offered to bring the bags down to the Laundromat for her, but of course she refused, even as she staggered under their weight and bulk. So Adam helped himself to a bottle of water and some breakfast as she left.
A few minutes later, Kate was back, with her full bags and cursing. “The stupid Laundromat is CLOSED. No reason, no idea when it’ll be open, no apology, just a sign on the door that says closed until further notice. What the fuck is that supposed to mean??”
She really didn’t take it well when things didn’t go according to plan, Adam thought. He guessed that was part of the disciplined aspect of her personality. She just couldn’t understand why other people weren’t as regimented. “I’ll take care of it,” Adam told her.
Kate looked confused again, like she did when he offered to deal with her computer. “The next closest laundry place is a cab ride away …”
“I’ll take care of it,” Adam repeated, calmly smiling. “I don’t have much going on today. Go and get ready for work, and don’t worry about it.”
Again, she just gave him a puzzled look and headed toward the shower. Adam shook his head. He bet no one had done her laundry since she was twelve and didn’t want her dad to see her training bras. Even if he was probably the one who bought them for her.
“You’re sure you’re OK with this?” Kate asked again as she was gathering her things for work. “You’re really going to do all this?”
“There’s a perfectly good laundry room downstairs that I’ll bet is empty during a weekday. I’ll read a book or something.”
“This bag is sheets and towels, this one is regular clothes, and this one, umm … this is delicate cycle. If you’re OK with that, I mean.”
“Kate, I’m thirty-six years old. I’ve seen women’s underwear before.”
Kate blushed a little, a pleasant reminder that she wasn’t always as cool as she wanted everyone to believe. “OK then, well, I’ll see you later. Dinner?”
“Dinner. Now don’t be late for work. It’ll just make you even more irritable.” Adam practically closed the door on her.
“She’s still not ready,” he said aloud to himself, now that he was alone. He wasn’t fooling himself into thinking he could make her fall in love with him by doing her laundry. Her nearly defiant sense of independence made him want to take care of her. Made him want her, period. He almost kissed her last night, and he was pretty sure she wanted to kiss him back. But then something held them both back, and the mood was broken when she practically shoved him away to clean up the beer. He’d nearly cursed out loud then, but he’d always been a patient person. If he made his intentions known too soon, she’d run, she’d emotionally distance herself from him completely. Or may
be he’d become another notch on her bedpost. Either option was unacceptable to him. He wanted it all, he wanted her all.
Everything was back to normal, Kate thought as she headed in to work. Adam had greeted her in the lobby at 5:30, they’d gone on their morning run, and there had been nothing at all awkward between them. She hadn’t read him wrong last night; she knew he had wanted to kiss her. But he’d obviously realized what a mistake it would have been as soon as she had. He probably still wasn’t over Claudia and was in New York to run away from her and their life together. And as for her own reaction, hell, Kate had already admitted Adam was kind of attractive, and she knew herself well enough that it was no surprise she’d be turned on by a guy like him lying on top of her. The exercise from that dancing game had released endorphins in her brain, making her seek out more pleasure, that was all.
All the same, Kate couldn’t quite stop wondering what it would have felt like if Adam had kissed her. Were his lips as soft as they looked? Would his kiss have started slowly, tentatively, or would he have crushed his mouth against hers like she’d thought of doing to him? Kate inhaled sharply as she wondered what his skin tasted like. This is ludicrous. This is Adam. Their almost-kiss was just a rebound move that was narrowly avoided. She should be happy about that. A rebound hookup may be what he needed, but it wouldn’t be with her. She would just end up hurting him. Plus, she needed to work with a clear head, without the guilt of anyone’s heartbreak on her conscience. And she needed to go to the boss’s garden party without any cloud of tension over them.
When Kate got home that evening, she opened the door to the smell of chicken roasting and the sound of a woman’s laughter. Her first thought was annoyance—did Adam really bring some woman back to her apartment? Was it that brunette from the other night who’d slipped a note in his pocket? But then she realized that she knew that laugh, that it belonged to Cassandra, who she found perched on her kitchen counter with a glass of wine, watching Adam cook. The two of them were nearly doubled over with laughter and Kate found herself in a better mood than before, seeing her close friends get along so well. “What a nice surprise! No brides to manage tonight?”
Cass shrugged. “This one is pretty low-key and didn’t want to rehearse. I was in the neighborhood and thought you’d want to grab a bite.” She waggled her eyebrows at Kate while Adam was turned away. “But you obviously already have a tasty morsel at home already.”
Was there a way to say shut it via telepathy? “There’s plenty of food for everyone. I’m sure Adam’s already invited you to stay since that’s what friends do.”
The three of them chatted over a dinner of roast chicken, couscous, and asparagus with plenty of wine to accompany each bite. There was even cheesecake for dessert, which Adam had picked up earlier from one of Kate’s favorite bakeries. Cass was telling some of her most entertaining wedding couple stories, and if Adam was at all regretful about the state of his own almost-nuptials, he didn’t show it. The two women found a moment to themselves when Adam went to Kate’s bedroom to take a phone call. “So it’s true,” Cassandra said to Kate as soon as Adam closed the door behind him.
“What’s true?” Kate asked.
“You’re holed up playing house with a gorgeous hunk who is clearly in love with you.”
“Stop it!”
“And you’re trying to set him up with Suzanne? You’ve got to be kidding!”
“Did she call you last night?”
“Adam is so into you. Don’t tell me you don’t see it.”
“Adam doesn’t read like other men; he’s not like that.” Kate narrowed her eyes. “Did you come over tonight to see me or to check out Suzanne’s theory?”
Cassandra avoided the question, which gave Kate her answer. “When I got here, he was folding your laundry. Who does that?!”
“He’s just a nice guy.”
Cass’s eyes widened. “You’re into him, too, aren’t you?”
“What? No. You’ve had too much wine, stop being nuts.” Kate looked toward the bedroom to make sure Adam hadn’t come out and overheard them.
Cass continued, as if having a major revelation, clearly unconcerned about Adam possibly being within earshot. “You haven’t been to a party the entire time he’s been here. Have you even gone on a date with anyone?” She continued, clearly on a roll. “You come home every night, have dinner in your pajamas, and you’re happy,” she concluded.
Part of Kate wanted to confide in Cass about the near-kiss last night. But saying it out loud would have made it a bigger deal than it was. And it was no big deal, right? “Adam isn’t really into going out a lot. It would be rude to do all those things and not spend time with him while he’s here.”
“When was the last time you didn’t spend an evening with him?”
Kate drew a blank, but Cass was speedily heading down a path that Kate refused to follow. “I think it’s time to say good night, Cass.”
Cass laughed. “I do have to be up early tomorrow for wedding prep. But this is so much fun, seeing you fall for someone—”
Kate had had it. She grabbed Cass’s jacket and held it out to her.
“Oh, I see,” Cass continued. “You want your alone time now, I understand. I won’t be the third wheel. Tell Adam I said ‘Bye.’”
“Go home, Cass.”
As Kate was closing the door, Cass propped it back open. “Keep him, Kate. The man can fold a fitted sheet!”
By the time Adam came out to the living room after his phone call, Kate had already cleared up the dishes and was pouring out the last of the wine. When she saw the look on his face, she decided to give him the more generous pour. “Is everything OK?” she asked. Adam just nodded without a word. She gave him his glass and he closed his eyes as he took a big gulp. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not much to talk about, really.” He didn’t meet her gaze. “That was Claudia. I wouldn’t normally take a call in the middle of dinner, it’s just …” his voice trailed off.
“It’s no big deal, I get it. Exes can be complicated.” Kate tried to empathize, imagining that the end of a long relationship could be complicated and heart-wrenching. She’d seen enough of what her friends have gone through; she’d just never been in that situation herself. Witnessing it again reminded her of the reasons she kept her love life simple. Simple meant protected.
Adam just stared into his wine, and Kate thought she had never seen anyone so sad. She was reminded of how he looked after his brothers had ganged up on him. And this is why love sucks. This Claudia woman must have really done a number on him. After a few minutes, Adam finally said, “I guess we should call it a night” and headed up to his apartment.
The next morning, Kate got a text at 5:30:
Skipping the run.
Chapter 13
Adam found Kate in her bedroom, on all fours, her rear end sticking up from the bottom of her closet. He leaned against the door jamb before feeling guilty for enjoying the view so immensely. “What are you doing?” he asked, to announce his presence. Her response was muffled, something that sounded like Stop looking at my ass. Startled, he looked away so she wouldn’t see his embarrassment at getting caught. She couldn’t have known. “What was that?”
She crawled out of the closet then, her hair disheveled, her cheeks red with warmth. “Stilettos sink in the grass!” she sputtered angrily.
Oh, Adam thought.
“I can’t find my wedge espadrilles, and we need to leave in five minutes!”
Apparently there was nothing that flustered Kate like a company social outing, Adam realized. “Calm down. First of all, what is a wedge espadrille exactly?”
She looked at him as if he’d asked what a USB cable was. “It’s a sandal with a big heel that looks like straw.”
“Go get ready, and I will look for the shoes.” Kate gave him another confused look before getting to her feet and going into the bathroom.
Adam looked into her clos
et—where there was once a neat stack of shoeboxes and rows (and rows) of pristinely lined up heels, there was now a messy pile of shoes without mates. Claudia was never this into shoes, and Kate’s collection confounded him.
By the time Kate came out of the bathroom with her hair up and full face of makeup, he had found a pair of matching shoes that looked to him like hay. From Kate’s reaction, he knew he’d found the right ones.
“You are so my hero!” she said and blew him a kiss before slipping them on her feet. “Now let’s go get this show over with.”
On the drive up in the rental car, Kate felt compelled to talk about the elephant in the room. She’d spent a good part of her run trying to figure out what to say to him, to get him to open up to her while still respecting his privacy. “Did you decide to sleep in this morning?” He’d done so much for her, and that was the only thing she could think of to say to show him she cared?
“Yeah,” Adam responded casually. He looked directly ahead, his tense jaw and the tapping of his thumb on the steering wheel the only indications of any discomfort he might feel at her question.
Kate took a deep breath. Opening up her own emotions sure wasn’t her strong suit. “We’re friends, aren’t we, Ad?” He glanced at her then, furrowing his brow a bit, as if to say, of course, a ridiculous question. “You can talk to me about her,” Kate continued, “you know, if you think it would help.”
There was a long pause. It shouldn’t be this difficult between them. She supposed time and distance could do this to a friendship, but she wanted to overcome all that, to get back to the comfort they had enjoyed in high school and for most of the time he’d been in New York. “I don’t think you’d understand,” he finally said.