by Zoey Kinsman
Each night we returned to the resort exhausted and hungry. When we finished eating, another appetite needed feeding. We fed that beast as well.
One of my most favorite times was probably when he arranged the couple’s aromatherapy massage for us. We lay next to each other as heated scents of lavender oil dripped onto our naked bodies. Experienced masseuses pounded out pressure points and stiff muscles. Looking at each other and holding hands, there was a profound connection happening between us. They worked on us in unison, and it was that togetherness that spoke loudest.
When they were done, they quietly packed up and left. Our bodies called to each other to finish the tantalizing job the professionals had begun. Release beckoned us to be set free. He was fierce, and my body unabashedly responded to him, wet and quick, waiting for his warmth to engulf the flames that burned within my womb. His cock took me fast. Digging in deep, he had me at his mercy willingly. His arms reached around and grabbed my back, arching it for me to receive him as much as possible. His lips sucked my nipples hard until the screams couldn’t be contained any longer. Our tongues fought for space in each other, our mouths sucking every inch available. His grunts became low, primal, and his cock moved to complete its mission. There was no stopping what begged expression.
“Baby…I’m going to come so hard…so fucking hard, baby…”
“Do it…harder…do it…”
With my legs suspended in the air he went deep, thrusting with all his power. The pain pounded out my pleasure. Our bodies gyrated in time, faster and faster. My pussy finally let go and his cock came all over my universe. Tremors racked our joined bodies, pleasure emanating like a power source. Currents flashed between us, neither one knowing who felt it when, so together as one.
“Anne…hold me, my beauty.”
I held him so tightly. My emotional need for him was the same as his, great.
“My beauty…I want you to know something. I want you to know that I am completely in love with you.”
My hands ran through that hair that I loved to touch, play with, and push back to show off his beautiful face.
“I feel the same.”
“Look at me, beauty.” He raised himself back on his elbows and looked right at me, his eyes aglow with a look I hadn’t seen before. It was a simple remark, one he had never spoken before out loud, and now he was ready. “I love you.”
There was no need to hesitate. “I love you, too.”
Kissing me, he looked at me questioning when I stopped suddenly. “Will you say it to me again?”
“Yes, I’m sure. I will say it to you repeatedly and whenever you need.”
He laid his head on my chest now, and my hands, as if on auto-pilot, went to glide and stroke whatever I could reach.
“I love you, my beauty, now and always.” He looked up at me like I was magic.
“I love you more.”
“Not possible,” he laughed, to lighten the serious mood.
“Yep, it’s truth.” I loved to jest with him.
“The truth is we love each other. It’s all very good, yes?”
“Yes.”
“I have a request. Can we finally go out and use that hot tub on the deck?”
“Well, since we are naked, I think the timing is right on.”
He went and got the bathrobes from the bathroom, moved to the deck, turned on the water and the heater in the hot tub, and opened a bottle of champagne. I lit candles and put them around the tub and on the tables around the deck. Our little love nest was illuminated with twinkling stars from up above and down on Earth.
There was some nice smelling stuff for the tub. I put that stuff in, all oily and inviting.
He went in first and gave me his hand, moving me in next to him. He handed me a glass of champagne.
“What are we celebrating, Mr. Wickham?”
“Each other and our love, that’s pretty special.”
“You’re pretty special.” My lips found him again, but this time more tenderly, expressing my innermost flame that spoke of a kindred connection to him.
He put one big wet arm around me and reaffirmed that connection.
“I’m so happy…please don’t let it end, my love.” Then sadness showed up in his eyes and his demeanor. “I’m so sorry…I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?”
“My beauty, I am leaving for Ireland in just over a week’s time. We need to talk about it, but not now. I’m not ready yet to handle it. Let’s just enjoy every fucking second right now, please. Because the thought of me being there and you being here rips me apart. Talk about brutal!” It was the first time he looked away from me. I caught a glimpse of a tear that fell freely.
I moved to face him. “Don’t turn from me.” I kissed where the tear had left his face wet. “My baby, my love…I am always with you…I promise.” I jumped into his arms, wrapped my legs around his waist, and the water buoyed me and joined us back together. “See, we are always one.”
He repeated after me, “Always one.” And I held him as close as humanly possible.
Fear gurgled in my guts. How was I going to deal? He was right. Here I was reassuring him, when I didn’t even know how to soothe myself. I wasn’t ready to think about it either. “Let’s make the most of every second we have now, and then when we’re ready, we can plan the road ahead.” That was the best I could do right now.
“Mmm…shhh…right now, I think I’m going to have you again, right here in the tub. I want to hear you moan under the moon and remember how you feel on me in these warm currents.”
“More champagne, sir?” The bubbles made me giggle and tickled my nose. He laughed at me, kissed my nose, and licked up any little drops that lingered at the corners of my mouth.
“Mmm, so yummy…”
After finishing the bottle, he began his other quest anew.
* * * *
The week went by too quickly, as most good holidays are known to do, but this particular time together was special. We had time to nurture ourselves. We had the safety and space to discuss issues of vulnerability. Those conversations and memories lingered long after the trip was done.
Chapter 9
There was now just a little over one week left before he had to leave L.A. On the way home from Big Sur, he asked if I would stay at his place for the week so we could maximize our time together. Without him searching for more words and ways to explain, I knew exactly what he meant, and I readily agreed to stay. He was kind of taken aback that I agreed so easily, but I reminded him that I had a good eye for smart deals.
“Ah, that is so true. Excuse me for forgetting.”
“No worries.” I smiled and gave him a wink as he smiled back in my direction. The communication had become just so natural; we just got and understood one another. We could finish each other’s sentences and jokes.
“We have to swing by my place, dump this suitcase and give me time to check on everything, and fill up another suitcase full of clean clothes. Then I’m all yours.”
“I like how you put that. You are all mine, now and always. Yes, that sounds just right.”
“You know, Paul, as much as I am a romantic, I think you are an even bigger one.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“You just are innately romantic. It’s rare to find a man who knows how to express that so well with a woman.”
“Maybe that’s where all my theatre training has paid off. It’s allowed me to be comfortable with my own feelings, and to get them all out and hopefully convey them accurately. Do you know what I mean?”
“Yeah, I think I do get it, but is it all about your training, or more about who you are?”
“Oh, God, you are testing me again with the hard questions, while I’m driving.” A slight chuckle escaped him. “Probably a little bit of both. Deep down, I’ve always felt emotional or romantic, as you call it, but the acting gave me the right vehicle to display it. It’s like a scientist or engineer who works on creating something, and just finds the righ
t project to work on that suits his personality perfectly. But I think what you are saying is that you like a man who can express himself well, no matter what profession.”
“Right on. I don’t think it really matters what you do as long as you can speak a love language. Many men, I’m told, because how would I really know, can’t be emotionally honest. So I guess I feel blessed with you.”
“Nah, from what I’ve seen, it’s been changing. Men are encouraged to be more emotionally honest and to not suppress their true selves, and women are more accepting of it. But, I feel the same blessed as you because you make me think about these kinds of ideas. So you don’t mind my love language?”
“I cherish your love language.” Our eyes met and held for moments, then he returned his focus to the road and our hands met again to hold a piece of each other close.
When we got to my place, he helped me check everything out, unpack, and pack again. I had a couple of bottles of nice wine and champagne, so we took those with us as well.
Locking up and heading out, we made it to his place by late Sunday afternoon.
We had bought a few fresh pieces of fish and salads along the way, and he fired up the grill. Once settled in, I met him out back to watch him cook. Again, the way he moved around that grill made me want more than just a meal. Something deep within wanted to forever move in his direction.
It was a warm city summer night, a touch muggy, but we decided to stay out and eat while the sun set before us. He lit the torches, whose citronella smelled inviting. Music played in the background.
I went back and got the dishes, cutlery, and drinks, and set up the table so we could eat when he was done. We were a good team indeed.
When we had it all spread out in front of us and ready, he opened some wine, poured our glasses full, and decided that this moment called for a toast.
“Anne, my beauty and love, thank you for all the joy you bring to my life. This toast is to the most remarkable and special lady in my life. I love you.”
Pushing back emotion that was quite visible and easily seen, I responded, “My love, the man of my dreams, here is to you. You are the most remarkable, talented, hottest, and special man. Thank you for the meaning you bring to my life. I love you.”
Ours glasses clinked and then our mouths met to seal the deal. For a moment I thought we were headed back to the bedroom, but we both agreed that since the food looked and smelled heavenly, it needed our attention more.
“Besides, we need to wait and then go for a dip. One of the things I love most about this place is the pool.”
“Yes, it really is beautiful out here, almost like its own unique little resort area away from everything else.” I drifted off in thought over that idea. “So tell me,” I finally asked him. “Is this beautiful place yours or do you rent?”
“It’s mine. I’ve always wanted to own. When I made some good coin, I put down a hefty deposit and took out a mortgage. The bank feels I’m a good investment. I’ve already made money on it if I were to sell. But I’m just happy to have a place that I can call home and maybe put down roots.” He looked at me with a serious intent.
“So this is where you envision yourself?”
“As long as I can work, which I hope I’ll be in demand for a while, yes, I like it here. I mean, I don’t always like L.A., but I like this house and the area. I’m comfortable here.”
“You know, it’s a very distinct contrast from my place. That’s kind of interesting.”
“I thought about that, too. Your place is so minimalistic because that keeps you sane…no complications, no messy stuff to have to deal with, and that’s how you like life. I think it also helped you heal by keeping it simple so you could look at the complex within. I don’t know…just a theory I came up with after being at your place.”
“Do you find it antiseptic and boring?”
“No, not at all, but I find it like I said, more simple, chic, and uncomplicated. But, to me, my place reflects more of who we are now.”
“Yes, we are more complex. I’ve allowed the complicated in.” I looked at him as if questioning how he knew all that.
Responding as if reading my mind, he said, “We just get each other, remember? I think when it’s right, it’s just right. There doesn’t need to be a lot of work to stay together.”
“You’re dreaming again. We are going to have to work very hard to stay together. You’re leaving next week. I don’t even know for how long. How realistic is it for us?”
“I’ll be gone for about three months, then back over the holidays for about a month, and then gone for another three months to finish up the season. I’ll need to do promo when I get back, and I might pick up a movie out here after. But I’ll be back for a chunk of time at the end of March.”
That was a devastating blow he’d just dealt me. Sitting back, I needed to do some digesting.
“You look utterly miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way, you know. You could come be with me for part of the time, leave Trish in charge as we talked about, and work remotely.”
I still couldn’t speak. What had I really gotten myself in to? Was it a pipe dream that we could make it work when he wasn’t going to be here most of the time? Was the good sex and intimacy clouding my sound judgment? No, I was really attracted to him on many levels. I was just going to miss the hell out of him.
“I’m going to really miss your guts.” Tears welled up and fell freely as I spoke those words. He looked at me, befuddled.
“Why? Won’t you commit to coming and being with me part of the time?”
“Yes, I would come, but for how long? I don’t think I can be gone more than two weeks each time, and that doesn’t make for a good relationship. It makes for more longing.” I was blubbering now.
“Why not longer periods of time?”
Trying to gain back control and speak reason, I replied, “I can’t just leave Trish. I am training her now to do more, but it takes time. She is learning quickly, that’s true. But the agency is my livelihood. It’s my income. It’s also my shining star moment. Everyone has something they do really well, and for me it’s publishing.”
Now it was his turn to sit back and think. Disappointment was etched on his face. “I get it, really I do. I just thought that the love would keep us together somehow. Maybe I am too romantic.”
Stillness enveloped us both. We sat quietly, not moving for minutes and at times awkwardly twisting in our chairs.
He started. “There has to be some kind of compromise. I’m not letting go so easily.”
“You’re right, there has to be a compromise, or we have to work one out.”
“Okay, well, let’s start with you coming and staying longer.” I laughed so hard. “Why are you laughing?”
“Isn’t that what you’ve wanted all along? So, how is that a compromise?”
“I’m serious. How about we wait six weeks and then you come. That gives you, in actuality, seven more weeks to train Trish. By then, she should be good to go. You come for a month, and then it’ll only be another month till I’m back.”
He was actually making sense, but only if Trish picked up.
“Okay, let’s do that and hope that Trish can handle the place on her own by then for a month. I’m going to have to get her a temp and pay her more. Hmm…”
“Well, you won’t have any expenses when you’re with me, so maybe you’ll be saving in the long run, no?”
He was so cute and endearing in his determination to get me to agree.
“You are so adorable when you beg. Yes, I will agree to that. But Paul…please don’t tell, but I would probably agree to anything to be with you again. I’m pretty pathetic when it comes to you, you know.”
“I actually think you are being quite brave.”
“It’s the love.”
“Yes, the love.” He grabbed my hands across the table and kissed them tenderly. “I’m so appreciative.”
“However, I do have one request of you.”
“Name it.”
“Well, we will be apart for a while and you do have needs, and you do, as you say, like to fuck…”
“Oh, no, I know where you are going, and just stop!”
“Listen to me please.”
“No!”
“Well, I’m going to say it anyways.” His face looked horrified. “If you find yourself wanting to be with someone else, I won’t stop you. I will somehow find a way to understand because we were honest with each other. But if you do want to move on, you have to promise to tell me. Not by phone, just send me a quick text message.”
“Okay, you are officially delusional. Do you not think I can keep it in my pants and wait? You are not giving me enough credit here. I love you, and only you. I don’t want anyone else, and you should get that. We are going to talk and email and text all the time. It’ll make the reconnecting even better. Please have a little faith in us.”
“I have a lot of faith in us and I believe you, but…I want you to be happy, and I don’t want to stand in your way.”
“By leaving me, you take away my happiness. Don’t you get that?”
“I get it. I’m praying you don’t leave, but if you do, I want you to know that I’ll understand.”
“Will you? How can you say that so easily?” His look was intense once more.
“Fine…you want truth? It’ll probably be the worst hurt I’ve ever experienced, probably worse than being hit by someone I trusted. It’ll rip my insides apart. There, are you happy that you made me say it?
He came around and reached to lift me into his arms. We held each other tightly until my trembling stopped.
“Yes,” he whispered. “I’m glad you said it, because it’s how I would feel. We understand each other now. So stop, just stop.”