Then he was guiding us through the intimidating crowd of b-boys and b-girls hanging around outside the door, stopping to greet some of them, being stopped by others, pumping hands, being slapped on the back.
“Yo, Boy Wonder! Wha’ blow?”
“Waiting for your slot, man!”
“You’re gonna light up the spot, bro!”
“We came all the way down from Bristol, dog!”
“Hope you’ve got some surprises for us, innit!”
DWAYNE
I was on top of the world, bubbling with pride and excitement. Here I was, walking with my arm around my girl, feeling the love from the fans I had gained over the past year. I had worked hard for this. Tonight was my night, my big chance to impress the headline act and the other MCs and producers that were bound to be there.
The main act was a local boy who had made it big on the charts, taking grime – urban street music – to the mainstream. Although the venue was tired, it was an honour to be supporting him.
And Misha was here to see it. My heart grew soft when I thought of her, felt her, smelt her perfume, right next to me, in this place. She was here for me, just for me, to see me shine, and that made me feel big, bigger than I had ever felt in my life.
‘You love her, innit?’
Silence.
‘Just admit it, man! It’s me you’re talking to here.’
‘Y’ know what? I think I do. I think I love her. Oh God.’
‘Scary innit?’
‘Swear down, bruv!’
‘LOL.’
When I walked up to the door, one of the bouncers smiled at me and hugged me – a huge man hug.
“This is my girl, Misha, and her friends, Effie and Victoria. Girls, this is my cousin, Darren.”
“Pleasure to meet you, ladies, come in. Have a good time.”
And we were in.
Spittin’ Light
MISHA
In spite of my initial misgivings, I found myself caught up in the mood of the crowd and excitement bubbled up inside me. After all, why shouldn’t I enjoy myself? I was going to see Dwayne at his best, in his comfort zone at last.
The underground club was packed. People lined the staircase going down into the main room, the walls and floor vibrating to the bass of the music. The main area was a sea of people, the same intimidating figures from outside, with hard-looking faces, eyeing each other up.
“Dwayne,” I shouted into Dwayne’s ear, “how come they all look so angry? Aren’t they here to have a good time?”
And Dwayne laughed: “That’s just the way de mandem are, innit. Don’t worry, once the tunes start up, you’ll see them start to grin teeth...”
“That’s the trouble with you hiphop heads!” Effie laughed to cover her nervousness. “You’re just not happy people, are you?”
“You sure you can handle this lot, Dee? They look like they may get violent if you don’t come correct...”
“Hey, this is Boy Wonder you’re talking to – of course I’m gonna come correct! Trust me, I’ve played for worse crowds than this one.”
We finally found some empty stools, at the far end of the bar.
“Make mine a Mojito!” hooted Victoria, shaking her shoulders to the throbbing bassline, swinging the ends of her feather boa in the air in front of Dwayne’s face.
He laughed and swatted at her, ducking out of the way as she spun round, her skirt flying up. “Easy, Vee!” he called. “Watch yourself!”
Effie and I exchanged a look.
“We’d better keep an eye on her,” Effie whispered in my ear. “She’s as high as a kite!”
Remembering that Dwayne didn’t drink any more, I squeezed his arm and said, “I think I’ll have an orange juice, Dee.”
Dwayne laughed. “Orange juice, yeah? You’re too much, girl.” And he turned away and called out to the barman who was busy with some other customers at the other end of the bar.
Victoria’s dancing caused a stir and brought several admirers over to where we were standing, like bees around a pot of honey. One of them, a tall bald-headed man with skin like polished ebony and a red satin shirt, came up to her from behind and began dancing with her, his arms round her waist.
Victoria tossed her head back and laughed, raising her slim arms in the air, waving her feather boa, moving her hips from side to side.
The baldhead was delighted with her response. “Mmmmm, shake it, girl! That’s right!”
Soon the two of them were on the dance floor, under the flashing, glittering lights.
Just then, there was a minor commotion at the door – the main act had arrived. He came in, surrounded by his entourage, his red cap to one side, his white t-shirt glowing blue in the ultraviolet light. Beneath the cap, his hair was cropped close and a huge diamond glittered in his ear, a simple – but thick – gold chain around his neck. Everyone craned to have a look, even the hardest of the badboys, although they tried to hide their curiosity and excitement.
Effie looked over at the members of his entourage and licked her lips. “Ooh,” she purred, “there’s some talent in here tonight! A bit rough around the edges, I’ll admit, but talent all the same.”
I gave her a sideways look. “You’re spoken for, remember?”
“Oh, come on!” teased Effie. “A cat can look at a king, right?”
“True...” And we both watched as the star of the show made his way to the VIP area, trailed by admirers, hangers-on and hopefuls.
Dwayne handed us our drinks and, before long, the club manager was walking up to us and shaking Dwayne’s hand, thanking him for coming down, telling him he would be on in ten minutes.
“You ready, babe?” I asked, brushing an imaginary speck of dust off his shoulder.
“Yeah, I’m ready, man, I’m ready...” Then he squeezed my hand and murmured, “My sweetness ... I want you in the front where I can see you, OK?”
“Of course, babe, I’m there. Now off you go – and don’t be nervous! You’re going to be great, I know it.”
He kissed my hand and winked up at me. “Thanks, babe.”
And he turned and was soon swallowed up by the crowd just as the DJ was calling on the crowd to show the Boy Wonder some love.
One Chance
DWAYNE
As the DJ played the intro to my tune, the beats drummed in my head, thrummed in my fingers, pumped through my veins all the way to my heart. Fresh beats. Wild, life-giving beats. Almost immediately, they lifted me up and took me to another level. They got inside me, right up inside me, under my skin, wrapped around my insides. And then the words came out, flying, spitting, sparking, setting the mic on fire.
Words tripped over words, slipping into phrases, staccato. They had come from inside my head, from all that I had seen, everything I had heard, from the electricity in the air around me, and I had worked them into something potent, something explosive.
The crowd went wild, whistling, hooting: ‘Braap braap!’
I could see Misha looking up at me, mesmerised. I held the mic to my lips with one hand while my other hand flew around in front of me, touching the outstretched hands of the people in front of the stage. I was good that night, man, really good, better than I had ever been.
I was on top of the world.
Misha and her friends were totally impressed.
“You were sensational!” Misha grinned and I ducked my head. Girl was making man blush!
Just then, a tall, big guy in a sharp black suit and black silk shirt came up to me.
“Hey, Dwayne!” he smiled, his gold teeth glittering almost as much as the diamond in his ear. “What you saying, bro? I didn’t know you was gonna reach tonight! You was dynamite up there!”
It was DJ Risquee, from the Karnage Krew, one of the hottest DJ crews around.
I put my arm round Misha and turned to Risquee. “This is my girl, Misha, and her friend, Effie...”
“Yeah? Sweet! Well, you ladies make sure you have a good time. I wanna see you on the dance fl
oor later, yeah?”
Both girls smiled and nodded.
‘Damn, this girl is beautiful, man!’
‘Innit!’
Then Risquee turned to me and slung his arm over my shoulder. “So Dwayne, listen, yeah. My partner and I, we was talking about you after your show in Tottenham... we want you to come down, lay down some lyrics and ting, something we’ve got in the pipeline.”
I was buzzing. The Karnage Krew already had a string of underground hits and their latest track had just hit the singles charts. They were red-hot.
“Yeah, man, of course! Just name the place, innit!”
“Safe, bro, we’ll hook it up. But listen, why don’t you come and meet him? I know that tonight’s gonna be a mad one – de gyal dem already queuing up! – but I can introduce man still, y’ get me?”
I nodded, grinning. “Sounds sweet, blud.” Then I turned to Misha. “You don’t mind, do you, babes? I won’t be long, I promise.”
“Of course, Dee, I’ll be fine. Effie and I will just wait for you by the bar.”
MISHA
After Dwayne and the DJ disappeared into the crowd, we made our way back to the bar and stood there, sipped our drinks, moving to the throbbing beat of the music. We were so busy enjoying the fizzing energy, the vibe created by Dwayne’s performance, the spell being woven by the DJ, that we didn’t notice a group of guys with green bandannas enter the club. Not until one of them came up behind Effie and put a rough hand on her arm.
“Yo, Effie! What’re you doin’ here?”
Effie gasped and whipped round at the sound of the voice.
“Lawrence! I–I came with my friend, Misha,” she stammered. “Her boyfriend got us in...” She winced slightly – was he hurting her?
“Yeah?” Lawrence’s eyes narrowed. “How comes I didn’t know nuffin’ about it?”
“I didn’t think...”
“Nah, ya didn’t, did ya?”
Effie tried to pull her arm away and smile but he wasn’t letting go. “Hey, babe, what’s the big deal? We’re here now, aren’t we? Why can’t you just relax and have a good time?”
“I don’t like stuff happening that I don’t know about...” But he relaxed his hold on her arm.
“But you never told me you were coming here either, did you?” Effie seemed relieved that he had started to calm down. “And now you’re here, the party can really start, right?”
Lawrence looked her up and down, then smiled a crooked smile. “Yeah, I guess it can, innit? Yo, man, where’s the champagne?”
Victoria, who had danced her way back to the bar, leaned over and giggled. “Did I hear someone mention champagne? Girl, your man sure knows how to party!”
Effie smiled and raised her glass in a toast. But I could see her hands trembling, just a little.
Lawrence winked at me as he handed me a fluted glass of sparkling champagne. I felt the tiny bubbles pop on my fingers as I took it from him. His fingers brushed mine, just for a moment or two longer than necessary.
“And what’s your name?” he asked in a low, husky voice. His tone and the way his eyes burned into mine sent a warning shiver down my spine.
I faltered and tried to smile. “Er... I’m Misha... Effie’s friend...”
“Ah, safe...” he said, leaning back, looking me up and down. “Nice...”
My cheeks burned with embarrassment and I looked desperately over at Effie – but she was busy filling Victoria’s glass with more champagne and she didn’t see anything.
“Yo, Flint!” Lawrence called out to one of his friends, a tall, thin, light-skinned guy whose lopsided green bandanna revealed a tattoo-like pattern shaved into the side of his head. He squeezed in next to me and jerked his chin towards me.
“So, who’s this ‘tick piece, then?”
Lawrence smirked. “One of Effie’s friends, innit?”
“Hmmm, sweetness! Where have you been hiding?” He was so close to me that I could smell the leather of his jacket and the Jack Daniels on his breath.
The two of them leered at me and I tried to move away but Lawrence grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him.
“What’s the matter?” he rasped. “Why you goin’ on all stoosh? You frigid or something? Don’t you like my boy, Flint?”
“Yeah, don’t be like that,” smiled Flint. “I won’t hurt you – unless you want me to...”
What?
“Oi!” I shouted, finally coming to my senses and pushing Flint aside. “Look, just get lost, yeah? I’m not interested!”
“What, you got a man or something?”
“Yes, I have, actually.”
“Yeah? So where is he, then?”
“Right there!” My heart leapt when I saw Dwayne on the other side of the room, about to make his way back to me, and relief flooded my body.
Lawrence turned to look – and his eyes narrowed. He definitely seemed to recognise Dwayne.
But then he turned to me and smiled slyly. “You should dash him, y’know, come and hang with my boy, Flint. He knows how to treat the ladies, y’get me?”
“And just what are you trying to do to Misha, Lawrence? Scare the living daylights out of her?” It was Effie, trying to diffuse the situation with her wide smile and tinkly laugh. She grabbed my hand and pulled me out from between the two men.
“I can’t believe you left me alone with those two!” I hissed, my heart still hammering in my chest.
Effie looked back to where Lawrence was standing with his friend. “Those two?” she laughed. “They come off all hard but they’re harmless really!”
“Harmless?” I was incredulous. “You could have fooled me! I felt like I was about to be gangbanged or something!”
Effie rolled her eyes. “You and your crazy stereotypes! You definitely need to get out more. Now, where’s that Romeo of yours?”
We both peered into the crowd, our backs turned to Lawrence and his friend.
“Effie!”
We both turned round.
“Don’t your friend drink champagne?”
Effie took the glass and handed it to me. I brought it slowly to my lips and sipped, aware of the two men’s eyes on me, aware of the dark shadow of foreboding that had begun to creep over me.
“Cheers!”
Payback
MISHA
After finishing my glass of champagne, I escaped to the dance floor.
As soon as I stepped beneath the strobe lights, I was swept up by the electric vibe that flowed through the club and I moved effortlessly to the insistent, driving beat. My mind emptied and I surrendered to the music, to the pulse of the crowd, to the rhythm that flowed through my veins.
I didn’t care about the heat or the sweat that had begun to trickle down my neck, down my back. I just wanted to dance and blot out everything except the good feelings, except thoughts of Dwayne as I had seen him up on stage. I didn’t want anything to spoil this night. I was at one with the music and nothing, nothing, nothing else mattered.
‘This is what I want,’ I thought to myself. ‘To dance all night long, as if I have no worries, no worries at all – no school, no exams, no Islam, no pressure, no doubts. No talking, no thinking, no stressing – just the music.’
Dwayne made his way to me and we danced together for a while, then Effie and Victoria joined us. When they left us to go and get another drink, Dwayne told me he was going to go to the toilet.
“Don’t worry!” I laughed. “I’ll be here!” And I waved at him as he was swallowed up by the crowd.
Then something strange started happening.
One minute, I was fizzing with the energy of the music, the people and the alcohol in my system, the next, the room started to sway. The people around me moved in and out of focus. I put out my hands to steady myself, confused. What was happening to me?
All of a sudden, my feet wouldn’t do what I wanted them to. My tongue felt thick and clumsy in my mouth and I heard myself slurring as I tried to speak, to call out to Dwayne, to tell him that
I was tired, so tired, that I needed to sit down, to stop the crashing in my head, to stop the room spinning round and round.
DWAYNE
I was grinning to myself as I made my way back to the dance floor from the toilet. Recording with Risquee was every young MC’s dream – the night was turning out even better than I had hoped. I craned my neck to see where Misha was, trying to spot her red dress in the crowd.
Then I heard a voice I hadn’t expected to hear that night of all nights.
“What you sayin’, blud?”
It was Trigger.
I turned to find Trigger’s face inches away from mine, his mouth twisted to one side. “Seems like you’ve been on a bit of a solo ting lately, eh? Is it your girl? She got you on lock down? Or is it coz you been rollin’ with that wasteman, Tony?”
I swallowed hard and shook my head. “Nah, man, not at all. Just been a bit busy, that’s all.” I thought to mention the Islam ting but it felt kinda hypocritical, still. A Muslim had no business in a club surrounded by alcohol and people grinding up on each other. Then I looked over Trigger’s shoulder and saw several RDS mans, looking screw-face. “What’s up anyway? What’re you mans doing here?”
“You never heard what went down?”
“Went down? Where? With who?”
Trigger laughed: “Jeez, man, sometimes I swear it’s like you live on another planet! Larkside man – they broke into Jukkie’s yard, bruck it up bad; armsed up his mum...”
“What?” I couldn’t believe what Trigger was telling me. Half of me hoped I had misheard him, that the thumping bass had mashed up his words. I thought of Jukkie and Tony’s mum, so small and fragile, and my throat went tight. How could man do that?
But then, there was Jukkie, his eyes blazing, his face like stone. “See what happens now,” he snarled. “See what happens now. Man have fi dead fi dat!”
Black Sheep Page 18