“I…” he started to deny her charges, but then he opted to get some answers instead. “How on earth does any man ever come to understand a woman?”
Samantha’s laugh filled the air. “That, my dear brother, is probably impossible.”
“And exactly why is that?”
“Because we don’t understand ourselves at times.”
Patrick thought about that. A few minutes later he ended the call. So, women often don’t understand themselves? It’s no wonder we poor men have such bad luck understanding them. That’s almost an impossible task!
Chapter 12
Angela had returned to her room and placed a call to her sister Willow. Angela was one of four girls, she herself being the oldest. Her youngest sister, Willow, was Angela’s go-to person when it came to love and relationships.
Willow always seemed to have a man flitting around her, though not necessarily the same one, and she was a virtuoso in playing them. Her vast experience with a variety of different men made her an expert in Angela’s opinion, and that was exactly what she needed now.
She opened her iPad and called her. “Hi, Willow.”
“Angela, are you still in Nepal?” Willow answered with a sleepy voice.
“Yes.”
“What time is it?”
“9 p.m. That would make it 10 a.m. at your place.”
“Let me go into the other room, okay? Can I Skype you?”
“Sure, are you with someone?”
“Yes, it was amazing, but he’s still asleep. That guy needs some rest, before I wake him up.”
Angela could imagine the dirty grin on her sister’s face. Sometimes she wished she could be more like her. “Hey!”
A few moments later Willow Skyped, and her tired scowling face filled the screen.
“Too much action last night?” That never happens to me. My own sex life with Jasper is normal, just like the life I will soon lead.
Willow didn’t bother to answer the question and cut right to the chase. She wasn’t known for her diplomacy, and at times it was a blessing and not a curse. “So why are you calling me? Trouble with Jasper again?”
“Why do you always assume I’m having trouble with Jasper?”
“Because you always are.”
“This will soon be over, when we’re married and I don’t travel anymore.”
“Sis, are you sure you want that? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it now – if you have to give up your dreams to be with someone, he’s not right for you.”
Angela shook her head, “We’ve been over this before. I’ve already decided to marry Jasper.”
“It’s okay to revise a bad decision. Much better than being miserable for the rest of your life. Dump him and be happy. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for me.”
“I don’t know. I mean, we are getting married four weeks. Everything has already been organized. And even if I wanted to, I can’t break up with him by phone, can I?
“Sure you can. Or if you feel better, wait until you get home.”
A huge rock fell from her heart; yes, she would wait until she got home. It would give her some time to think. But then, who was she kidding? She’d been thinking long enough, and he would probably lure her into staying with him. He always did. Maybe it was better to break up via phone. Get it out of the way.
There was a pause in the conversation until Willow spoke up again: “I can see in your face you’re hiding something from me.”
Angela frowned at her sister’s image. Even though Willow was six years younger, she’d always been able to read Angela’s emotions and thoughts. She had a knack for getting into people’s heads and knowing what was going on there. It helped a lot in her career as counselor for teenagers. But she’d never once used it for her own good, or she wouldn’t end up with so many unsuitable men in her bed.
Angela was tempted to evade the question, but her sister would see right through that. “Fine, I met someone. He’s a photojournalist and loves to travel as much as I do.”
“Is he good-looking?”
“Extremely!” Angela thought about Patrick’s steel-blue eyes and his dark messy hair. His designer stubble was sexy as hell, and before she knew it, she had voiced that thought aloud.
Willow laughed. “Sounds like your prince has come calling. So what’s the problem?”
“You know I don’t believe in princes anymore, they’re all just frogs in disguise.”
“I say go for it. One last fling, just for this vacation. You’ve never just had fun with a man. Have some amazing sex with him, see what you’re missing, and then if you still want to go through with the wedding, it will help me believe you’ll be happy there.”
Angela shook her head. “You want me to have sex with someone else? I’m still engaged to Jasper, or did you forget?”
Willow shook her head. “Fuck Jasper. In the other sense. Didn’t you just tell me you want to break up with him?”
“I may have thought about it, but I didn’t.”
“Why?” Willow demanded to know.
Now that is a good question. “Because.”
“That’s a stupid reason. You’ll hate staying in one place, and then you will resent Jasper for forcing you to give up your dreams, and you’ll become an old, bitter woman.”
This conversation was not going where Angela wanted it to. But then, her sister never said comfortable things; she always pushed people to their limits. To search their true inner self. It was one of the reasons Angela treasured her advice. She knew Willow would tell her the truth, no matter how painful it was.
The truth included hard decisions, facing things you didn’t want to face. Like having to break up with Jasper. Or being afraid of never finding the right guy, the one who loved you the way you were, the one who wouldn’t demand you stop traveling, the one like Patrick.
Angela’s mind had been off on a tangent, and she missed the first part of Willow’s litany, “…and this is exactly what gets you into trouble all the time. You truly believe every man you meet has to be the one. But let me tell you. Chances are slim. Jump on that guy, even if it’s only to have great sex. What do you have to lose?”
“I don’t know,” Angela answered her, wondering if she’d missed anything important in the first half of her statement.
“So, how much longer do you plan to be in Nepal?” Willow asked, changing the subject.
“Well, I’d intended to come home the week after next, but I haven’t done the hike along the trail yet. I’m thinking I’d love to stay in Nepal at least another two weeks.”
“Then stay,” Willow urged her.
“I don’t know. The weather is turning for the worse. And I have this creepy crawly feeling in my spine that something is wrong. It’s like the vibration of the earth is different. I don’t quite know how to explain it.”
Her sister laughed. “You and your vibes.”
“Mock them if you must, but they’ve served me well.”
“Yeah, and that’s just downright scary. Now, back to this mystery man. I think you should go for it. In fact, do yourself a favor and cut Jasper loose. Do it right now before you second-guess that decision. If you have to, do it by email, because I know he will lure you back to him otherwise.”
Angela knew her sister was right. But she wasn’t ready yet. Deciding to sleep on her decision, she undressed and tried to blank her mind. But a certain dark-haired man with an irresistible grin always managed to crawl back in.
Chapter 13
Angela got up extra early the next morning, because she had an important task to do, before going on the trip to Jarughat with Patrick.
She’d dreamt of both Jasper and Patrick. In her dreams with Patrick, she saw herself happy and striving to keep things that way. She’d dreamt of traveling the world with him, happily blogging about the people and places she saw while he took pictures and videotaped remote areas and peoples.
The dreams about her future life with Jasper were filled with despair and so
rrow. She saw herself inthe same, boring routine each day and night. She was unhappy, which seemed to make Jasper happy. She remembered feeling as if she’d given up her entire existence simply to be his biddable wife. Those dreams had taken on a nightmarish quality, and when she’d awakened from the last one in the middle of the night, she’d known there was no way she could marry Jasper.
That didn’t mean she was ready to jump into a relationship with Patrick. She didn’t want to be one of those women who hopped from man to man, never giving her heart or her mind a chance to heal. She’d be better off staying single. And Patrick was still way too young for her. She might have been able to convince herself a year or two didn’t matter, but he looked like twenty-two or maybe twenty-three, and she was thirty-two.
Calculating the time difference between Nepal and New York, she Skyped Jasper. Please let him be home. This was the first time during this particular trip where she’d reached out to him, and she felt a little twinge of guilt for talking to him this way. He deserved for her to have this conversation with him face to face, but she couldn’t imagine carrying around this knowledge for another week or two. She needed to tell him her decision. Now!
She could tell he was online, but refusing to answer her call. She sent him a text message, and when he ignored that too, she tried calling his cell phone. He’s still angry at you and gives you the cold shoulder. Angela realized that this was one of his character defects she absolutely hated.
It was juvenile and exasperating, but that was Jasper. Whenever he got angry with her, he would ignore her as a way of making her pay. She finally left him a voice message and sent him an email. Both simply stated, Jasper. Wanted to talk to you personally, but couldn’t reach you. I cannot marry you.
Her messages got an instant response, as he called her right away. “What in the hell are you talking about, Angela?”
“Oh, so you were there and just ignoring me. Did you read the entire message?”
“Of course I did.”
“You need to stop all further preparations for the wedding, since it won’t be happening.”
“That’s just plain stupid. Of course we’re getting married. What’s gotten into you?”
“Jasper, you’re not listening to me. I am not going to marry you.”
There was a moment of silence and then he demanded, “Don’t you think I deserved to hear this from you in person?”
“Yes, I do. However, I won’t be home for at least another two weeks, maybe longer. With the wedding imminent, I couldn’t wait to tell you my decision.”
“This is all because of your traveling. If you’d stayed here like I requested, this wouldn’t be happening!”
“That’s not true. This is something I’ve been feeling for a while now; I was just too lazy to do anything about it. Not anymore. You don’t want to marry the real me, you want to change me. The problem is, I really like who I am! Get your things out of my apartment and give your keys to Willow or Harper. I don’t want you in my place when I return.”
Angela disconnected the call, watching her fingers wildly trembling. I did it! I really did it! She was amazed at the sense of freedom and release she felt. I’m free!
The outlook of spending the day with Patrick brought a smile on her lips while she got dressed. She wanted to sing and dance, and realized that Willow had been right all along. If Jasper had been the man for her, she would be upset right now, not ready to go out and celebrate! No man is worth giving up my life dreams for. No man in the world!
***
Patrick smothered a yawn as he readied his stuff for the trip to Jarughat. He’d slept very little the night before, spending most of his sleeping hours thinking about Angela.
She had agreed to come with him to Jarughat and to spend the night there. He tried not to let her insistence on having her own pop-up tent bother him. His plans didn’t include sleeping with her – for now. Of course he’d like to, but it was more important to first convince her to risk a relationship with him. He’d made up his mind. He wanted Angela, not for short-term fun, but for a lasting relationship.
The drive up to Jarughat took one hour, and while he usually detested the onerous tour, today the time passed quickly as they talked and laughed with one another. She was more relaxed this morning than he’d seen her before, and while he wondered at the reason, he wasn’t going to ask for fear of making her good mood disappear.
Angela came up with the hilarious idea to interview him for her blog, and while they were doing the interview, he found himself laughing so hard at times that he barely could focus on the road ahead.
“We have to stop this, I need to concentrate on driving, “ he said after another burst of laughter.
Her face took an a worried expression while she put away her notepad and pen. “Sorry, I didn’t want to distract you. We can continue later.”
“How about I get to ask some questions now?” he said a few minutes later, when the road was in a better condition.
Angela laughed. “Fine. Ask away.”
One fact had been bothering him, and he decided now was as good a time as any to get an answer out of her. Since she’d commented that he was too young for her, it had been replaying over and over in his mind. The idea was ridiculous. It wasn’t like he was eighteen. He was twenty-seven and she had to be about the same age. Does she like old guys? Time to find out.
“So, you like older men?”
She looked surprised and shook her head, “No. Why?”
A sigh of relief escaped him. “Because you said I’m too young for you.”
When she didn’t speak, he asked, “So how old do you think I am?”
“Hmm, twenty-three?”
He wasn’t sure if he should feel flattered or not, but then decided he didn’t care. “I’m twenty-seven. See, I’m not that young. I’m probably even older then you.”
“Not by a long shot. I’m thirty-two.”
Now it was his turn to look surprised. She looked like she was twenty-five, and he quickly figured the age difference in his head. He’d never dated someone older than himself, but then, did it actually matter? No!
He knew he should probably stick to friendly questions, but he was dying to find out why she kept running hot and cold on him. Taking a stab in the dark, he asked, “Do you have a boyfriend?”
It was obvious he’d caught her off guard; she swallowed and opened her mouth a few times before she was able to answer. Finally, she murmured, “Yes. I mean no.”
“Sorry, but it can’t be both. Can it?”
“No, you’re right,” she told him with a sigh. “I did have a boyfriend, but we broke up this morning.”
Patrick felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart.
She had a boyfriend this whole time? Why didn’t she tell me?
You didn’t ask.
I wouldn’t have kissed her if I had known.
Maybe that’s why she didn’t tell you.
But she kissed me.
She said it was a mistake.
But she broke up with him.
Yes, but surely not because of you.
What am I going to do now?
Chapter 14
Angela could tell her revelation had sent him reeling. He parked the car and they exited it, taking their backpacks with them. From here on it was a thirty-minute walk to reach the village. But he didn’t speak during the whole time and she decided to remain silent as well. It had probably been too much for him.
It had been too much for her as well. And as much as she wanted Patrick, she was afraid of what would happen if she gave in to her attraction.
Once they arrived, Patrick was greeted by lots of natives who clearly adored him. They patted his arms or shoulders, smiled at him, and a few of the children even hugged him. Those open signs of affection astonished her, and she began to realize that while Patrick had been living among them, he’d become a valued member of their society – something she’d never been able to accomplish. She’d always just been
a tourist passing through.
“Namaste,” the people greeted him. When he answered in kind, Angela wished she’d taken the time to learn a few phrases of the native language, Urdu. While Patrick surely wasn’t fluent, she could tell he had learned enough basic words and sentences to communicate with the people. That is so thoughtful; he must really like these people.
Patrick addressed the man she assumed was the leader of the village and exchange a few words with him, pointing towards her. “This is my friend, Angela.”
She wasn’t sure what exactly he’d said, but after that statement, she received the same smiles and nods of acceptance, and smiled back in return.
“Please follow me.”
“Where are we going?” Angela asked as Patrick gestured for her to follow him.
“He’s taking us to their main meeting place. Relax and enjoy yourself.”
At some point, the chief’s wife approached her and gave her a scrutinizing once-over. Then she pressed her hands together, pointed the fingers upwards, held them close to her chest, and made a little bow, “Namaste.”
Angela had seen this gesture before with Hindu people in Asia and intuitively imitated the older woman.
Her eyes lit up and she spoke to Angela in broken English, “You are good woman.” She tapped Angela on the temple and nodded her head. “You needs open your head and look with your heart.”
Angela was puzzled by the cryptic message, but thanked her nevertheless. Open my head and look with my heart? She must have mixed up her words.
After a few more greetings she found herself seated with the other village elders drinking tea while Patrick conversed with them about the weather, their families, and various other mundane topics.
As the conversation turned back to the weather once again, Angela mentioned, “The weather feels different lately, strange even.”
Her comment evoked a sudden silence that last for a few long moments before the chief looked at her and asked, “You can feel it, woman from far away?”
She nodded, giving him a very serious look, and answered, “Yes. I have a bad feeling.”
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