Valerie sighed and looked past the garden to the gazebo in the distance. “Do you remember when Ar’ch was little and we used to spoil him rotten?”
She smiled. “I remember.”
“Those were such wonderful times,” Valerie said.
“Yes, they were.”
Valerie turned toward her. “Liana, you were once my best friend. Nolan used to tease me that you and I were more like sisters than Alex and me. How did we become such strangers?”
She looked down. “I slept with your husband.” Valerie flinched. Liana could tell that it still hurt her to hear those words, but she refused to pretend that it hadn’t caused the rift that they both felt. “I do not blame you for hating me.”
“I do not hate you, Liana. I know that night was not your fault, nor was it Nolan’s. You were both drugged by Drake,” she said and paused, looking away. Then, she turned toward Liana again. “I have a confession to make.”
She waited while Valerie take a deep breath. She couldn’t imagine what she could possibly ever have to confess to her. She sat perfectly still, waiting for her to speak.
“I regret sending you away. I regretted it almost immediately, but my hurt and my anger prevented me from speaking up. Ar’ch cried for weeks after you left. And when Angel was born, I fell in love with him. Every time you visited, I feared you would want him back, and I did not want to lose him.”
Liana forced herself to breathe. She had not realized that she had been holding her breath. She felt her heart racing and swallowed, hoping that it would push the lump in her throat back down. “I would never have denied him the opportunity to become an Altorus,” she finally replied.
“I know, but fear has a way of blocking the truth,” Valerie said and took a deep breath. “And then Drake raped me, and I became pregnant.” She paused again. “The prophecy seemed like the perfect opportunity to send you away while protecting my unborn child and keeping him away from Drake. It was a selfish move, and I’ve spent the last two life years regretting it.”
Liana sat still, absorbing her confession. All these years, she had thought that Valerie hated her, and it hadn’t been true. So much wasted emotion because neither of them had had the courage to talk to each other about what had happened. She looked back down at her hands. “I did not know,” she finally said, for lack of knowing what else to say.
“Can you forgive me?” Valerie asked.
She took a deep breath, wanting to make sure she found the right words to say. “I felt both honor and resentment when Nolan told me that you had chosen me to raise your child on Earth. It pained me to not raise Angel, and I thought you wanted to take some of that pain away by trusting me with your son and our savior.”
“I did,” Valerie replied. “I knew you would raise him well.”
She half-smiled. “Once I was settled on Earth, I began to believe that you hated me for bringing so much pain into your life. And I resented being sent so far away. I was alone and carrying a child that I could never call my own.”
Valerie looked down. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “It is I who should apologize. I closed off my heart. I already knew the pain of losing my child; I refused to allow myself to love another child only to lose him. And then, I traded him with Damiana, which is unforgiveable.”
“Why did you do that?” Valerie asked. Liana detected no anger in her voice, just honest curiosity. “Ever since I learned that you had befriended her, I wondered if you hated me that much to risk our savior’s life.”
“I do not hate you, Valerie. I truly did not know who Damiana was. I had never seen a picture of her, and she presented herself as another Curatus who had been sent to raise an Altorus child on Earth because her friend’s husband had been wrongly accused of a crime, and she feared for her child’s life.”
Valerie scoffed. “Wrongfully accused!”
“I did not know she was speaking of Drake. She befriended me, and I was lonely and desperately in need of a friend. Still, I trusted her, and I should have known better. She already knew that I was carrying your child, but I did not know that.”
“I can understand you needing a friend, especially a fellow Diasodz, but why give her my son?”
Liana shrugged. “It made sense at the time. I thought it would keep him safe. I worried that Drake would escape and find me, and I figured that if he caught me, at least your son would be safe. I didn’t think about why Damiana would risk her friend’s child’s life. It wasn’t until years later that I realized her deceit, but by then, I already had my suspicions that Sofia was the true savior.”
“What made you think so?”
“Her affinity had started to show itself at a young age. I used herbs to inhibit her affinity from coming forth, and thank the Goddess that it worked.”
“But then why leave Rafe with Damiana when Ar’ch and Angel came to bring you both home?”
“Our savior had to be my priority. Damiana believed that Rafe was the savior, so I could send Sofia without any resistance. If I would have tried to take him, she would have killed me and kept them both. At the same time, I had made a promise to you to keep him safe, so I stayed behind with him to keep my promise. I had hoped to convince him to escape with me, but he was so angry with me for sending Sofia with his enemies that I could not get him to see the truth.”
Liana looked down at her hands. “Damiana turned him against me. She wanted to use him to hurt me. She thought that he was the savior, and she looked forward to using your son to kill you. She really hates you.”
“Because of Drake.”
“Yes. She hates that Drake loves you,” she said. Valerie looked away, but she continued, “Damiana raised Rafe in a very loving home, except she took him to a Raizyn doctor who kept blocking his natural instincts. Sarah is going to try to help him confront those blockages. At least, she will speak to him about it.”
Valerie took a deep breath. “Good.”
“It was only after his death day that Damiana showed her true self to us all.”
“Did she hurt him?”
Liana shook her head. “No, never. She believed him to be the savior. Rafe found out the truth and confronted me about it. I told him everything, but by then, Damiana had already locked me up in her dungeon. And then Sofia became imprisoned, and all looked hopeless. But then Rafe realized that he was only important if he would agree to hurt you, so he played along until he could come back to rescue us.”
Valerie smiled. “He is a very smart, young man, but sometimes I worry that he may still be playing the game.”
She stayed quiet for a while, searching her soul for what she believed. “There are two things that I know to be true. The first is that Rafe loves Sofia, and he will protect her with his life. The second is that I trust our Goddess, and She has chosen these four to protect us.”
Valerie sighed and nodded. “You have always been able to see things so clearly. Can you forgive me for sending you away?”
“There is nothing to forgive. It was the Goddess’ will. Had you not sent me away, Sofia would have been lost to us.”
Valerie smiled. “You love her.”
She smiled back. “I do. I also love Angel and Rafe and Ar’ch.”
“You have had a part in all of their lives,” Valerie said, her eyes filling with sadness.
She placed her hand on top of Valerie’s causing her to look up. “As will you. We have a long life ahead of us.”
Valerie placed her other hand on top of hers. “May I call you friend again?”
She nodded. “I would very much like that.”
They hugged before standing and walking back into the house together. Liana felt a weight lifted from her that she had not known she had been carrying. She took a deep breath and embraced the beginning of a new, burden-free life.
Chapter Thirty
“Will this hurt?” Rafe asked Sarah. He looked at the massage table in front of him. It wasn’t the first time he had second-guessed his decision to face his
memories.
“No, dear. There will be no physical pain, but I am unaware of what has been suppressed. The memories may be hurtful,” she replied. She moved about the room, collecting various oils.
He watched her prepare, nervous about what each oil would do. He liked her. Sofia hadn’t lied when she told him that Sarah had an aura about her that put everyone at ease. He saw a little bit of a resemblance between Liana and her, but Liana stood taller. Where Liana had golden-tan skin and long, blonde, curly, thick hair, Sarah’s skin was a much lighter shade of tan, and her hair was a thin, curly, dirty blonde which she kept cut just above her shoulders. Liana was much thinner than her, but she was completely comfortable in her skin. Maybe that was why he felt so comfortable around her.
“Patrysha unlocked all of my mental doors, but I haven’t had the courage to open them all. And then, with everything happening, I just haven’t thought of it.”
She smiled and shook her head. “You are so much like your sister,” she said and patted his cheek, chuckling. “Come on, up you go,” she said and patted the massage table.
Determined to get this over with, he lay down on the table and took a deep breath before closing his eyes. He smelled incense permeating the air and took another deep breath. How painful could his memories be? He deserved to know his true self. Maybe then, he would be able to make choices that truly reflected the real him.
“Just take normal breaths, dear,” she instructed him.
Rafe felt her place oils on his forehead and temples. Then, she pressed against certain pressure points in a similar way that Dr. Kimp used to do. He instinctively tensed up, remembering the way that Dr. Kimp had manipulated his mind. He reminded himself that no one could hurt him now and that Sarah promised to help him undo all that had been done to him.
He slowly drifted into what felt like sleep except he was aware of being in a long, familiar hallway of closed doors. Hesitantly, he approached the first door. In past dreams, they were always locked, but he took a deep breath and tried the door anyway. The knob turned, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He pushed against the stuck door, and it broke its long-kept seal and creaked ajar.
As he opened it, a memory rushed back to him. He took another deep breath as he remembered Damiana tucking him into his bed and telling him that he would one day rule the world by her side. After he got past the shock of her revealing her intentions to him at such a young age, he walked to the next door.
The minute the door opened, another memory came back to him. He was a little older, and Damiana was meeting with Martin. Rafe was crouched in a corner of the room, playing with toys when Martin entered.
“My queen, may I have a moment of your time?” Martin asked and bowed.
Damiana looked over to Rafe to make sure that he was entertained with his toys and then nodded to Martin. “You must not call me queen in front of the child. We’ve discussed this.”
Martin bowed even lower. “I apologize. I had not seen him there.”
She pressed her lips together. “What is it that you want to ask of me, Martin?”
He stood tall and took a deep breath before saying, “I would like to ask that you keep my daughter out of your plans. She is just a little girl, and ever since I abandoned Harmony, Mel is all that she has left. I was hoping that now that you had a daughter of your own, you might understand my desire to protect Mel.”
Damiana sent bolts of electricity through him and did not stop until he lay on the floor, convulsing. “Never assume that you understand my motives. And never let me doubt your loyalty again. You made a choice to join the Raizyns, and I allow you to be at my side as the leader of my army because I believe in your commitment to our cause. If I can give up my own daughter for our cause, then I expect you to do the same. Our daughters’ fates are intertwined, and so long as Mel protects Sofia, they will both be safe. Our focus is Lucifer’s will, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that his will is done. Do I make myself clear?”
Martin stopped convulsing and painfully rose into a bowed position. “I am yours to command always. Forgive me for misspeaking.”
She cupped his face in her hands and said, “You are my most favorite demon, Martin, and I value you, but never forget my power or my status as your queen. I will make the decisions, and you will obey them.”
He nodded, “Always.”
She released his face and smiled. “Very good. Now, if there is nothing else, please leave so that I may have some alone time with our savior.”
Martin bowed again and left.
As the memory ended, Rafe rushed out of the room and into the next one. He didn’t want to stop and process them; he just wanted to know everything. He entered the next room and the next and the following one. The doors were beginning to open even before he reached them. With every memory, he felt a piece of his soul being stitched back together. He ran into another room where he saw himself arguing with Damiana.
“But Mom, I don’t like Sofia like that. We are just friends,” he said, almost whining.
“But she’s beautiful, is she not?” Damiana asked.
He shrugged. “Well, yeah, but she’s not my type.”
A look of annoyance washed over Damiana’s face before she could fix her expression. “Of course, she’s not, but you will date her to keep any other boy from putting their filthy hands on her.”
The memory faded, but Rafe couldn’t move. A part of him knew that he had never felt anything for Sofia except the love of a friend, but he had always felt the need to date her, and now he knew why. He had been programmed to think of her as his girlfriend. He had been brainwashed into believing that she was his girlfriend while also being told that he did not need to be affectionate with her. He understood now why he never felt any sexual attraction toward her. Sure, she was his sister, so that would have been gross on any level. But the truth was that she just wasn’t his type. Now, the question was…who was his type?
More open doors. More memories. Rafe felt numb. So much of his life had been erased from his memory. Even his hatred for the Diasodz had been programmed into him. He felt a pull on his center, and he opened his eyes. Sarah looked at him with so much empathy that he almost began to cry.
“Now, dear, take a deep breath. I could not see your memories, but I could see the toll it was taking on you,” she said.
“So many lies,” he whispered, almost to himself.
She touched his cheek. “You are whole now.”
He shook his head. “I am nothing but a shell. I don’t even know the real me.”
Sarah clicked her tongue. “Nonsense. You are the real you. You lived every one of those moments. You may have had them suppressed, but you still lived them.”
He sat up. “But I was programmed to hate you all.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Do you hate us?”
“No.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Then, I do believe that the programming failed. The Goddess is in you even if you did not know it. She loves you and has protected you.”
Rafe took a deep breath. He felt a warmth embrace him, and he felt a calm energy relax him. His shoulders fell and the tension in them disappeared.
“Ah, she is with you,” Sarah said and smiled. “You are safe now, and you are whole. My job is done. Blessed be, dear.” She patted him on the back of his hand and then left the room.
After she left, Rafe stood and looked in the mirror. He looked the same, but he had difficulty filtering the thoughts and feelings running through him. He was beyond grateful that he had come to the Diasodz’s side. Damiana had never cared about anyone but herself, and he felt lucky that he had figured that out before it was too late. Now, he’d make sure that she never hurt anyone that he loved again, even if it was the last thing he did.
-o-
Damiana entered the training center and saw her demons and deminions practicing. Their moves were precise and fierce. She could tell that they were serious in their training and would make her proud on the batt
lefield. Khameel and Martin approached her and bowed.
“Good evening, my queen,” Martin said. “How may we be of service?”
“How is the training coming along?” she asked.
“They are ready, my queen,” Khameel replied. “They will not be defeated.”
She smiled and looked across the room. Jade and Harmony were sword fighting. Jade was on point with every move, but Harmony showed such sloppiness. Damiana turned to Martin. “How well can Harmony fight?”
“She is a new demon and is still uncomfortable in her body,” he said.
“She will fight whether she wants to or not.”
“Yes, my queen,” he replied and bowed.
“Have you heard from our king?” Khameel asked, taking attention away from Martin.
Damiana smiled. “Our troops are ready. It is time to officially announce our war.”
“My queen, would it not be better to attack with the element of surprise?” Martin asked.
She grew tired of the men in her life thinking that they had a better plan than she did. “Perhaps,” she said, “but I will have better control of our savior if we follow the rules of engagement. We will call for war.”
“Yes, my queen,” they said in unison.
She looked at Khameel and said, “You will deliver the notice. No harm will come to you, or they will forfeit the war before it’s begun.”
“It would be my honor, my queen,” he said and bowed again.
Damiana sighed. “Wonderful. Carry on, then,” she said and then strutted out of the room. Everything was finally going her way, and soon enough, the whole world would be worshipping her, just as they should. She would be the reason that they won the war, and everyone would admire and fear her. They would do her bidding, or they would perish. Oh, how she looked forward to that day!
Chapter Thirty-One
Mel, Kai, Ar’ch, and Angel sat around Z’s bar at Angel’s Anarchy while Z poured them all a drink. It felt like it had been forever since any of them had had a night out on the town, and they had all agreed that it was well overdue. They needed to blow off some steam or else they were going to lose it.
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