Confusion, Confession and Conviction

by Victoria Winfield

  ”I do not know what I feel,” Elizabeth replied, softly. “I am convinced that he is the man who would most suit me. Our dispositions and tempers are not alike, but, I can now see he is not the man I once thought.” She offered Jane what must have been a very weak smile. “And I have only come to know this now. Perhaps it is too late.”

  Jane grasped her hands. “No, Lizzy. It cannot be so. I shall not allow it to be so. You are not yet engaged to the Duke, are you?”

  Elizabeth shook her head, dabbing at her nose with Jane’s handkerchief. Her stomach rolled at the thought of the Duke, now that she knew that Darcy was most likely correct in his perception of the Duke’s character.

  Jane smiled, her eyes gleaming. “Then all is not lost. From what you have told me of him since you saw him at Rosings, for my part, I think them his feelings for you are strong as ever.”

  #

  “It does seem much more than an sennight that Lydia has been gone.”

  At this melancholy statement, uttered on a fading sigh, Elizabeth looked up from her stitching and caught Jane’s eye. Lydia had only been married for a few days, but already their mother seemed to be feeling her absence. Now that the worry and fear over her intended elopement had disappeared entirely on account of Lydia and Wickham’s marriage, Mrs Bennet was in something of a downhearted state, apparently missing her daughter.

  Jane stood. “Shall I ring for tea, mama?”?”

  Mrs. Bennet turned tired eyes to her. “Did you say something, Jane?”

  “Yes, mama. I wondered if I should ring for tea? I believe Cook may have some of your favourite cakes to hand as well. I believe it might lift your spirits.”

  Mrs. Bennet waved a dispassionate hand toward Jane. “Yes, yes, ring for tea.”.” She set down her sewing and walked to the window. “I think nothing shall lift my spirits now—unless it were that Lydia and Wickham should remove to Hertfordshire.”

  Elizabeth looked at Jane and rolled her eyes. They were both keenly aware of why Wickham and Lydia could not return to Hertfordshire. They had narrowly avoided a terrible scandal and it would be good for all of them if they remained away for some time. Jane tugged on the bell cord and pressed her lips together. She returned slowly to her chair and took up her tambour frame.

  Mrs. Bennet leaned against the window. Suddenly, she straightened.

  “What was that sound?”

  “What sound?” Elizabeth finished setting her stitch before she looked at her mother.

  “There it is again. It is carriage wheels on the drive.” This happy thought set her aquiver and she flapped her handkerchiefs violently toward Kitty. “Kitty, put that down and run upstairs. See who is coming up the drive.”

  “Perhaps it is the Collinses.” Elizabeth gathered her things and placed them in her work basket. “They’ve been expected at Lucas Lodge these two days past.” Kitty stomped her foot. “Well, I won’t sit with them. I have never heard a more prosy bore.”

  “Kitty!” Jane’s reprimand did nothing to keep her sister from leaving the room, nor made her regret her harsh words.

  Kitty’s voice was heard a moment later from upstairs. “It is not the Collinses. It is a quite large coach, but it bears no device,”

  Their suspense was ended a moment later when the carriage drew up in front of the house. The ladies, save Mary—who could not be drawn away from her study— quickly made their way to the front of the house, arrangingthemselves in a curved line on the drive, Elizabeth being closest to the steps.

  An unknown footman walked to the carriage door and let down the steps. “His Grace, the Duke of Windfell.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes sought Jane’s even as Jane looked at her. Jane’s eyes opened wide. Elizabeth shook her head as she dipped a curtsy. Her mind filled with questions, remembering what Darcy had said to her of the Duke. She would have to be careful.

  “Dear ladies, how glad I am to see you all again,” the Duke exclaimed, as he stepped down from the carriage. He pressed a kiss to Mrs Bennet’s hand immediately, making her handkerchief flutter with delight. He ran his eyes along the group. “What? Is Mr. Bennet not at home?”

  Mrs. Bennet glanced nervously toward the open door to the hall. “Not at the moment, Your Grace.” The handkerchiefs in her hands danced in her agitation. “But, do come in, Your Grace.” She curtsied again and gestured toward the house.

  “I see.” The Duke tossed a general smile in the direction of Jane and Kitty, then turned to Elizabeth, holding out his hand, much as he had done to her mother.

  “Miss Bennet,” he murmured, his smile reachinghis eyes as he held her hand for a moment longer than was proper.

  Heat rushed to Elizabeth’s face, attempting to reclaim her hand. She could not forget how he had turned down her request for help back at Lambton, which betrayed his true character no matter how much he tried to hide it. Her feelings for him had withered until they were simply dust and ashes.

  “Your issue must have been resolved more quickly than you expected, your grace. It is not about a fortnight since we bid farewell in Lambton.”

  He knit his brows. “My issue?” His brow cleared and he nodded, with a trace of guilt crossing his features. “Ah. Yes. You refer to the trouble on my estate that prevented me from aiding you in your recent time of distress.” His smile faded slightly. “I am glad to say it was easily resolved.”

  “I am glad to hear it,” Elizabeth murmured, turning away from him to stand next to Jane. Her questions over the Duke’s intentions towards her, as well as his close proximity to her coach at the time of her accident had not left her mind.

  “I beg pardon, my Lord, but have you met with an accident?” Kitty asked with a complete lack of decorum as she pointed to her own nose, her eyebrows raised

  He colored and cleared his throat. “Er… yes, Miss Bennet. In my haste to reach Longbourn, I paid less attention to my steps through my home wood and I encountered an obstacle which, as you can see, has done me some damage.”

  “Oh, dear. I do hope you have not been seriously injured.” Mrs. Bennet fluttered toward him.

  He turned to Mrs. Bennet and bowed. “I assure you, dear lady, I am most well. And the obstacle that rendered my injury shall be removed as soon as I can contrive it.”

  For a moment, only birdsong could be heard. Elizabeth mulled over his words, her eyes narrowing slightly. She comprehended that he meant more than just a stray tree branch or the like. Warnings rose in her mind.

  The Duke cleared his throat again. “I occurs to me that I must beg your forgiveness, ma’am.” He addressed himself again to Mrs. Bennet. “I was with Miss Elizabeth Bennet when she received your letter calling her home from Derbyshire. I would have rejoiced to accompany her home and render any assistance within my power. Alas, I myself received an urgent message just hours before calling me to my estate on urgent business. But, I have hastened here now, eager to be of service.” He bowed again.

  Mrs. Bennet stood listening, waving her arms as she gave a loud laugh. “Oh, but of course, your grace! How kind of you to come to see how we all fare, although I must tell you I have wonderful news about Lydia and Wickham which I would be delighted to impart to you!”

  Elizabeth cleared her throat before her mother could begin her monologue. “Perhaps we should all go in?”

  “Of course. How rude of me to keep you all standing in this breeze. Here, allow me, ma’am.” He pulled Mrs. Bennet’s hand under his arm and steered her up the steps and into the house.

  #

  “You know, Mr. Darcy, we are all quite besotted with the Duke.” Kitty clasped her hands over her skirt and hunched her shoulders.

  “Indeed.”

  He was trying, for Elizabeth’s sake, to be civil to Kitty. His task was proving monumental. His mind was numb having endured Kitty’s ceaseless chatter for the better part of a quarter hour.

  “Yes. And although Mama thinks he favors Elizabeth, I can see no difference in his manner to her than to me. Have you noted it, Mr. Darcy?

/>   Darcy raised his brow. “I have not.” The temptation to yield to gossip— to try, if he could— to learn a little more of Elizabeth’s opinion of Marsden— came close to overturning his resolve.

  It was difficult enough to be paired with such a girl, but having to follow Marsden and watch him pay diligent court to Elizabeth required iron control. He should have done more than drawn Marsden’s cork. He should have rendered him incapable of travel for an extended time—or forever. Thank God he had chosen to return to Longbourn to tell Mr Bennet the truth about Marsden. Although he resided at Netherfield, he had stayed there less than an hour before making the short journey to Longbourn, only to find Windfell there. Thankfully, it seemed he was less than half an hour behind him.

  The party paused their stroll to afford the elder Miss Bennet time to gather the blooms she desired for the dinner table. She abandoned the path for the meadow, Bingley close behind her.

  Kitty sank onto a protruding boulder.

  “Are you well, Miss Bennet?”

  Kitty smiled and wafted her face with her hand. “I am well, I assure you. I do not usually walk this far, though Jane and Lizzy come here often. They are both great walkers. I, myself, am a greater dancer than a walker.”

  “I see.”

  “There is to be an assembly next week and the Duke has already solicited a dance. Is that not droll? Of course, he would have to, being family. Oh, but— perhaps you have not heard, Mr. Darcy— the Duke is our cousin.”

  “Kitty!” Elizabeth arrived with Marsden in tow in time to overhear Kitty’s last statement. She frowned at Kitty and started to say more.

  Kitty jumped up from her repose. “But it is true, Lizzy. You know it is. The Duke told us himself, just before you arrived, Mr Darcy. Mama was in alt, I must declare, although she did say that she detects a strong family resemblance between papa and the Duke. They have the same chin, you know.”

  Elizabeth pursed her lips and stepped closer to Kitty. She whispered urgently into her sister’s ear.

  Darcy looked at Marsden. The man watched Elizabeth with a predatory air, making Darcy’s insides churn. Marsden lifted his gaze to Darcy. Their eyes met and the desire strike him boiled just beneath the surface of Darcy’s hard-won civility.

  Darcy stepped toward Elizabeth.

  “Miss Bennet,” he said, hoping his voice did nothing to betray his uneasiness.

  She turned. With the sun nearly overhead, casting a golden glow over her features, she took his breath away. His mouth turned to sandpaper, sticking against the roof of his mouth. How much he loved her still. Wondering if she could detect even a hint of his heart’s emotion, his face grew warm as he attempted to get the rest of his sentence out.

  She raised her eyebrows, with a slight smile of understanding curving her lips. “Mr. Darcy?”

  “I… I beg your pardon. I was hoping you would… that I might…” Blast! Why couldn’t he get the words out? He took a deep breath. “Miss Bennet, would you do me the honor of walking with me?” He offered his arm.

  Her smile was instant, although, as proper, she turned to look at the Duke, who, eyes fixed on Darcy, appeared ready to explode. Darcy felt the Duke’s glare. He maintained his study of Elizabeth, however. How would she respond to Marsden’s obvious anger? He could only hope that she believed that his concerns over Marsden were valid, much as his concerns over Wickham had been proved to be correct.

  She raised her brow and tilted her head, gazing up at Marsden. “Your grace, please excuse me.”

  When Marsden continued to ignore her, she frowned and her eyes narrowed.

  “Please excuse me, my Lord. Mr. Darcy wishes a word with me.” She drew her hand from Marsden’s arm a moment before he reached to take it.

  As she placed her hand on Darcy’s sleeve, his heart swelled. My God. She is perfection.

  “Of course, my dear Elizabeth.” Marsden’s cold voice sliced through Darcy’s reverie. He looked up to find Marsden’s eyes still fixed on him, now darkened to pools of hatred.

  Elizabeth turned away to straighten her dress and a sneer crossed Marsden’s face.

  “I have no objection to you walking a moment with Mr. Darcy. So long as he remembers that he may not keep you.” Venom dripped from his words.

  Elizabeth turned back to face him, her face dark. “I do not believe that you have the right to tell me who I may and may not walk with, your grace,” she replied, firmly, her eyes flashing. “For I do not belong to any man.”

  Apparently a little taken aback at her response, Marsden flashed her a warm smile. His voice became intimate as he looked into her eyes. “You know, I find my arm quite desolate bereft of your hand.”

  “Be that as it may, your grace, I believe I shall walk the rest of the way with Mr Darcy. We have much to disuss.”

  Darcy patted her hand, standing aside to let the Duke pass, who now was forced to keep Kitty on his arm.

  “My sister should keep him entertained,” Elizabeth murmured, still looking quite grim faced. Mr Darcy smiled down at her, feeling both relief and gladness. It appeared she had taken him at his words and begun to step down her acquaintance with the Duke.

  “Miss Elizabeth, I…”

  “Mr. Darcy, I wanted…”

  “I beg your pardon, Miss Elizabeth. Do continue.”

  They proceeded to walk, so all he could see was the top of her bonnet and the teasing dark strands of hair, worked loose from their pins and curling around the edges of the bonnet.

  “Mr. Darcy, our parting in Derbyshire was somewhat…strained… owing to the suddenness of my departure on account of Lydia and Mr Wickham – as well as the presence of the Duke.”

  “Miss Bennet, I trust you know I bear you no ill will. I believe I was a little frustrated with the entire situation.”

  She turned to face him and held up her hand. “I must confess that I at first, I was not entirely sure what to think of the Duke, but his refusal to help the situation, as well as what has taken place between Wickham and Lyida, I can see that you were justified in all your disapprobation.” She turned her head away. “You have done my family the greatest kindness, sir. You have saved my sister from terrible scandal, as well as protected our reputations. We shall not be smeared by Lydia’s foolishness, all on account of your generosity.”

  After a moment, she turned back to him, a tremulous smile playing about her lips. “Although I must confess that I am still quite upset with your behavior towards my sister and Mr Bingley.”

  “On that count, you have every right,” he replied, firmly. “In truth, I must confess that I was entirely wrong about that situation and have told Mr Bingley what I attempted to do.” He had posted a letter from London, and had received a stinging rebuke by post, along with an invitation to Netherfield. “Mr Bingley has returned to Netherfield, as I am sure you are aware. He intends to speak to Jane at the earliest opportunity, having only arrived yesterday.”

  Elizabeth could not hide her surprise, nor her smile. She clapped her hands together in delight, her eyes filling with a sudden sheen of tears at the thought of how happy Jane would be. “Then I must say you are entirely forgiven, Mr Darcy.”

  He studied her, seeing something of affection in her eyes. Hardly daring to believe it, he took her hand once more and tucked it under his arm so that they might continue their walk.

  “Now, sir. What were you attempting to say when I interrupted?”

  “I fear, Miss Bennet, what I must say may annoy you.”

  “No, no, sir. I am resolved to hear you without judgment and consider your opinion.”

  “You cannot know how those words relieve me. I find myself constrained to caution you once again— regarding Mars… the Duke.”

  He felt her tension through the hand on his arm. “You spoke to me of him at Pemberley. Have you discovered more?”

  “I do not… that is… it is…” He sighed. “I beg your pardon. Do let me begin again.”

  She did not speak, nor look at him, but the brief nod of her
head gave him the encouragement he needed.

  “Thank you. As I related earlier, I have known the Duke… since our days at university, as I believe I mentioned to you previously.” What he had to say he knew would bring a certain level of shock, and for once he was glad that Kitty’s incessant chatter was keeping Marsden occupied. “Believe me, Miss Bennet, it gives me pain having to speak thus, but, for your safety, I cannot remain silent.”

  “I comprehend you. Please continue.”

  “He was a surly young man, but so are many upon their arrival. Most form beneficial friendships and grow into admirable men. This was not the case with Marsden—the name by which I first knew him. He seemed always to isolate himself from his peers—save the few who shared his vices. He was churlish, vindictive, imagining slights where none had been given. He often initiated brawls over issues of no moment. Despite his refractory behavior, he seemed to always avoid any harsh punishment. This puzzled me, for I had first-hand knowledge of the firmness of more than one dean.”

  She laughed. “You, Mr. Darcy?”

  A smile creased his face. “Yes, I, Miss Bennet. I assure you I have not always been the paragon of virtue and propriety you see standing before you today.”

  She turned to look at him, laughter in her eyes. “You astonish me, sir.”

  He smiled and looked into her eyes. “Do I?”

  Her laughter slowly died as she returned his gaze, her expression gentling.

  He took her hands. Had he the power to suspend a moment in time—to keep it always fresh and clear—this would be his moment. Her face softened and he was drawn to her sweetness, her vulnerability—aching to enfold her and to kiss away any uncertainties.

  Her eyes search his face. “Mr. Darcy, I know that I now is not the correct moment, but I must confess to you that I believe my affections and wishes are – ” She swallowed hard, trying to keep her voice steady. “Greatly changed from when you first spoke to me at Rosings.”

  Such a great sway of emotions flooded him that he did not know what to say. Instead, h closed his eyes and touched his forehead to hers as a sigh escaped him. “You are correct that this is not the best moment, Miss Elizabeth, but you have filled me with such happiness that I can hardly express how I feel.”