Confusion, Confession and Conviction

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Confusion, Confession and Conviction Page 19

by Victoria Winfield


  “I did not know because I did not struggle enough to know. How could I be so blind? So reckless in my love for a man I had hardly met!”

  “Recklessness is a weakness that befalls many, Miss Bennet. For some men, their charisma gives them the skill to charm women in no time – you were just one of the victims, for others, well, they have to struggle through their speech and manners to gain the lady’s attention in a much longer time, they’re not so fortunate you see.”

  I looked at him intently, and upon realizing the fact that he meant my refusal, I flushed instantly. It was even more sorrowful to notice that even after my refusal, after his justifications, after my acceptance of marriage to another man; his affections had not waned- not even slightly. In fact, they seemed to have grown more passionate. He seemed more comfortable in his speech now, talking more often, his manners far more gentle and his behavior, simply appealing. He pleasantly asked me about the well-being of my family and also informed me about his visit to Jane’s along with Mr. Bingley and commented that the new surrounding was doing well to the spirits of my sister. He talked on, and I listened quietly. It seemed very peculiar yet amusing to observe that Mr. Darcy had become fairly engaging in conversation and more fluent in inventing new subjects; his old habits seemed to have abandoned him quite suddenly.

  Rising from the bench, we walked for quite a time, of balls and gatherings and finally about Pemberley. I was the first to speak,

  “Is it not so fortunate to have inherited such a magnificent mansion as Pemberley and not having even mildly struggled to attain it?”

  “Inherit? Miss Bennet, you amaze me! I have not inherited the place. Yes, my father was a very wealthy man, but not wealthy enough to purchase Pemberley- it was I, who struggled for a long time in the navy and managed to save enough money to buy the place. My life has not always been as easy as it may seem, Miss Bennet; if there were ever a man whose judgment in society had been very ill-founded, it would be me.”

  “Well, about your struggles I knew not, Mr. Darcy- pardon me for being so hasty in my observation, yet again. As you had never really mentioned it, it never really occurred to me that you had bought the place yourself. I must say, you being a naval commander, has caught many eyes.”

  “I have but, all hope of catching only one’s eyes,” he said solemnly.

  Instantly, I felt my cheeks burning, in response to the constant indirect hints that he was throwing my way. I was determined to express my desires eventually, though decided to delay it a little longer. Intending to change the subject, I spoke,

  “How is dear Georgiana doing? I believe she’s also in town presently?”

  “Yes, she is. She is very well in health and spirits, thank you. She has recently journeyed to town from Pemberley with her governess and is most often engaged in practicing the piano, as you must know, that she holds immense fondness for music.”

  “Indeed. It is my utmost desire to meet her! But, perhaps, I will meet her very soon- yes, yes, I will be meeting her quite soon at Pemberley…”I said, in a very dramatic and pensive tone.

  “Pemberley? But- but how -”

  “You shall know. I will be speaking to you tomorrow, Mr. Darcy. Until tomorrow, good day”

  Saying so, I walked off in the opposite direction leaving him perplexed behind me. You shall know Mr. Darcy, you certainly shall.

  Chapter Twelve: Bondings and rejoicing

  For the first time in a very long while, I woke up the next morning with an absolutely clear and determined mind. My senses were stable and my feelings well-set. All seemed well.

  It was a sunny day. The clouds had cleared out and though a windy gale still blew across the fields, the warmth of the sunshine was comforting. After a healthy breakfast of egg and toast, I engaged myself in helping out Charlotte complete the house work. At lunch, Mr. Collins seemed very elated to see that I had finally come back to my usual self- interactive and jovial. I could not blame him. I had, most definitely, been sullen for the past two weeks with all the disturbance that seemed to bother my life. Now, finally, I reached to a final decision.

  After lunch, I busied myself in reading books and poetry, analyzing the complexities of human nature and relating it to those surrounding me. It was wonderful to notice how imaginary characters portray the exact lives of our friends and acquaintances; how literature can help you understand human emotions and desires and make you a shrewd person in reaching conclusions and statements. After a few hours, I lay aside my book and made my way towards the main gate. Taking my coat, I walked out, for my usual walk in the park. Normally it hardly had any motive, but- today there was. In fact, a very well-planned one too.

  As evening drew near, the sun began to leave; the sky, pale blue and clear. It had been many days since rain had called in and today added another such day to the list. The climate seemed moderate, with a slight chill in the air which hardly seemed bothering.

  I continued to walk for a very long time, my eyes, sharply taking in every man and woman that escaped my sight. However, one very important person seemed to be oddly absent. A few moments passed and my eyes finally caught him. Mr. Darcy was standing at the far end of the park, his elbows resting on the tall fences, with his back facing me. I continued to walk in that direction and before I had approached him, he spoke, his face still turned away,

  “Good evening, Miss Bennet. What is it that you intended to talk to me about?”

  Returning the greeting, I walked to his side and said,

  “Are you ill, Mr. Darcy? If your spirits are in any case low, my conversation can surely wait. Would you like to walk? Perhaps to enlighten your health?” I asked; noticing the somberness that seemed to paint his face, his merriness- completely vanished.

  “No, Miss Bennet, I am absolutely well, I assure you. I am only a little unhappy over the notion of you delaying your opinion. Why would you desire to torment me longer? After everything I have done to gain acceptance and trust?”

  “To make you rethink your decision, Mr. Darcy. To give you some more time to reconsider, to ponder over the flaws that I have committed, though out of oblivion, but also under immense recklessness. Are you still certain?”

  “Your flaws? With the great strength that you have battled the sorrow of your recent matrimony, the resilience you have shown, in resisting the tears, the humiliation and the shame? You call that ‘flaws,’ Miss Bennet, you truly amaze me! How can you be so blind in noticing your own virtues and qualities, do you always require an on-looker to point them out? If so, I do not mind being one.” And he smirked, in playful way, with the intention of bantering me.

  “I never concealed my sorrow, Mr. Darcy, you of all people should know. I cried in front of you! Wept shamelessly, without any effort to stop, and still you say that I have fought this tragedy? I have not.”

  “Tell me, Miss Bennet, does Charlotte know about this? No- does your beloved sister, mother, sisters, father, does Mr. Rostov- of he does, I made sure of that but does anyone other than you and me know about this ‘tragedy’? No! And you know why- because you managed to skillfully smother it, because you accepted it as a reality and decided to move- you did not wish to cry over spilled milk- which makes you all the wiser.”

  I listened to him, in amazement. The natural way, in which he went off praising my qualities, with the respect that he beheld me and his excellent manner of comforting me was truly out of this world. How sightless I had been of not noticing this before, not observing the gentleness that lay dormant in the heart of conceit!

  He had stopped speaking, and after a moment’s silence, I began,

  “Mr. Darcy, you have, most truly proved yourself as the worthiest man in my sight and I must confess, I am in ardent love with you and can only wish to sleep listening to the music of your comfort.”

  Upon hearing this, the change in his expression was priceless. The glumness instantly departed his angular features, his lips curved into a charming smile and his hands immediately moved to hold mine. For long momen
ts, we stood there silently, arms wound around each other, gazing towards the far, far majestic mountains which had now seemed to fall under the shadow of the velvety sky as night began crawl near.

  “Fitzwilliam?” I said, after a long while. The sound of his Christian name had an immediate effect on him. He averted his gaze towards me, a smile playing around his lips, and said,

  “Yes, Elizabeth?”

  “Can we go to town to visit Jane? I have been dying to meet her since so many weeks.”

  “Yes, indeed, I was also considering it. We shall certainly visit your beloved sister tomorrow and also join the company of Bingley and my sister, Georgiana.”

  “Oh thank you! Darcy!” I cried, overwhelmed with the excitement to see Jane after so much time.

  Darcy continued to smile in response. As the evening grew late, we departed with our passionate adieus, only to meet the very next morning.

  “Oh Elizabeth, it pains me to bid you farewell but I equally excites me to hear of your engagement to Mr. Darcy! Dear Eliza,” she said, and drawing me closer, whispered in low tones, “may I inform the others this time?”

  “Yes, dear Charlotte, you may!” I exclaimed, breaking into a mirthful laughter.

  Mr. Collins was also very grieved to see me go and requested me to come visit them again; my presence had been of the liveliest sort to him. Offering my gratitude, I strolled down towards Darcy, who stood, leaning against the carriage, holding the door open. Offering his hand, he helped me inside and perched himself right beside and so we made our way to London.

  “It is strange isn’t it, how the town and the countryside both seem to have their own advantages and disadvantages- while the town serves as the best place for business, excellent society and grooming, as opposed to the countryside where the people though well-bred are not much interest in more political affairs, the harsh climate of town can never beat the fresh air of the countryside which continues to nurture our spirits every day. Dear Lord, I cannot wait to go to Pemberley. Which one do you prefer? The town or the countryside?” He asked.

  “Always the countryside- the grassy fields and the healthy atmosphere suffers no match to the town’s unclean environment.”

  “I thought so,” he replied smilingly.

  We drove for long hours in silence, each one of us gazing outside, lost in their own pleasant thoughts. Finally, we reached Mr. Gardiner’s dwelling. It was cozy and neatly built. As we stood at the door, ringing the bell, the gate, to our utmost surprise, was opened by the cheerful-faced Mr. Bingley.

  It was Darcy, who spoke first,

  “Bingley, my friend, what brings you here?”

  “Darcy, you will never believe it! I have been engaged! To Miss Jane Bennet!”

  “Oh my God!” I exclaimed with immeasurable joy. Instantly, I walked in and upon sighting Jane, moved in to hug her.

  “Well, this is excellent news Bingley!” I overheard Darcy communicating to Bingley at my back.

  In this hubbub and excitement, I also told Jane about me and Darcy and she reflected an equal elation upon hearing this.

  “Dear Lizzy, I am so glad for you! Mistress of Pemberley! How grand!”

  Soon, Mr. Bingley was also congratulating Darcy and Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner who had just walked out of their rooms due to the commotion were hugging Jane and me with extreme happiness. The sisters of Mr. Bingley, however, were nowhere to be seen.

  Amidst this tumult, I suddenly noticed a young girl approach Darcy, who stood with her back facing her and as he turned around, she hugged him tightly – Georgiana.

  “Elizabeth,” Darcy said, laying his arms upon his young sister’s shoulders, “this is Georgiana, my sister.” The glee on Darcy’s face upon meeting his sister was extreme.

  “Hello, Georgiana, it is extremely nice to meet you,” I warmly moved forward to shake her hand. Georgiana returned the handshake with equal warmth and soon, both of us fell into conversation which I suspect, most definitely did not escape Darcy’s notice as he seemed quite pleased upon seeing his sister and wife already on good terms.

  Mr. Bingley, Jane, Georgiana, Darcy and I soon took leave from my uncle’s house and headed back home to greet our family with the excellent news.

  Mamma, at first unable to believe that both her daughters had been engaged to such wealthy men, drew me to a corner and asked me to confirm the news. Upon my confirmation, she broke out excitedly,

  “Both of my daughters, so lucky, you see, Mr. Bennet, I always told you, with looks like these, it would only be a matter of time.” While papa shook his head in disapproval of my mother’s usual habits, Jane and I exchanged a quick smile, certainly bemused.

  As mamma fell into discussion with Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy, our younger sisters, especially Lydia, surrounded us and asked us of the charismatic skills we had employed to charm the gentlemen.

  “Oh do not be vile, Lydia. There is no such thing as ‘charismatic skills’ that ladies of well-breeding use to captivate men, it is only your manners, gentle behavior and shrewd judgment and sincerity which earn you the best of men.” While Jane seem pleased with my answer, Lydia, unconvinced of something so boring to be the background of a good match, walked off.

  Next week, Jane and my wedding were held. Looking at each other dressed exactly the same way- in a pearly-white satin dress with a huge train, we laughed heartily. While Jane lived in Netherfield, which was only in the neighborhood, I accompanied Darcy to Pemberley where we spent our years happily ever after.

  A Duke in Hertfordshire

  A Pride and Prejudice Regency Variation

  BY

  April Kelsey

  Contents

  GEORGE IV OF THE UNITED KINGDOM

  Chapter 1………………..

  Chapter 2………………..

  Chapter 3………………..

  Chapter 4………………..

  Chapter 5………………..

  Chapter 6………………..

  Chapter 7………………..

  Chapter 8………………..

  Chapter 9………………..

  Chapter 10………………..

  Chapter 11………………..

  Chapter 12………………..

  Chapter 13………………..

  GEORGE IV OF THE UNITED KINGDOM

  George the fourth was the king of Britain and Ireland, and Hanover after the death of his dad, George the third, on the 29th of January, 1820. He himself passed on ten years later. George IV lived between the 12th of august, 1762 and 26th June, 1830. From the year 1811, he served as the prince regent as his father was mentally ill until his accession.

  George IV lived extravagantly and his lifestyle contributed to the fashions of the regency era. Additionally, he was a patron of new forms of leisure, taste and style. The king commissioned John Nash to build the royal pavilion in Brighton and remodel Buckingham palace and Sir Jeffry Wyattville to rebuild the Windsor castle.

  Furthermore, his charm and culture earned him the title “the first gentleman of England”. However, his undoing was his bad relationship with both his father and his wife, Caroline of Brunswick. His wild manner of living also earned him the disgust of the people and portrayed the monarchy in bad light. George IV even prevented Caroline from attending his coronation and asked the government to introduce the not so popular pains and penalties bill, in a desperate and unsuccessful attempt to divorce her.

  For the better part of George’s regency and rule, lord Liverpool controlled the government as prime minister, with little help from the king. His ministers regarded this as a selfish, irresponsible and unreliable behavior. Most of the times, he was under the influence of his favorites and the people were not amused at his wasteful expenditure at a time when Britain was fighting in the Napoleonic wars.

  George IV also neither provided leadership during times of crisis, nor acted as a role model for his citizens. Liverpool’s government presided over Britain’s ultimate victory, negotiated the peace settlem
ent and attempted to deal with the social as well as economic malaise that came after. After Liverpool retired, the king was forced to accept the catholic emancipation despite being against it. His only legitimate child, princess charlotte, passed on in 1817, and he had to be succeeded by his younger brother, William.

  King George IV’s early life

  George was born on the 12th of august, 1762, at St. James palace in London. He was the first child of King George the third of the United Kingdom and queen charlotte. Being the eldest son of a British sovereign, he became duke of Cornwall and duke of Rothesay by default, at birth. A few days later, he was made the Prince of Wales and earl of Chester.

  On the 18th of September that same year, George was baptized by Thomas Secker, archbishop of Canterbury. His godparents were the duke of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, the duke of Cumberland and the dowager princess of wales. George was bright and talented and quickly became fluent in French, German and Italian, far from his native English language.

  When he hit eighteen years of age, George was given a different establishment and in contrast to his respected and responsible dad, he went into a life of dissipation and wild extravagance that involved heavy boozing and having several mistresses and escapades. George was good at holding conversations, whether drunk or sober, and he showed good but very expensive taste in his palace decorations.

  In 1783, he turned twenty one and received a grant of sixty thousand pounds from parliament and an annual income of fifty thousand pounds from his dad. This wasn’t sufficient for his lifestyle because the stables alone cost him thirty one thousand pounds yearly. George then set up a residence in Carlton house where he lived a wild and reckless life. Animosity developed between the young prince and the king, who preferred more frugal behavior from the heir apparent. Moreover, the king was also irked by the prince’s friendship to Charles James Fox.

 

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