Blushing a little, Jimmy nodded. “Yeah, Liz. I’m okay. I’m sorry about Uncle Paul. I had no idea.”
Liz shook her head. “It’s not your fault. I never suspected either.” Tears swam in her eyes as she thought about the last time she’d seen him. “I’m just thankful he’s alive.”
“I could hear you in the living room. Thank you for saving him.” He looked at the bruises on her forehead and around her neck, assessing the damage Josh had done in those final moments. “You put up quite a fight.”
A look of discomfort stole across his face as he took a step back out of her arms. “I’m sorry you were dragged into my family’s mess. I knew my mom had a drug problem, but she did her best to hide it from me. What she didn’t keep from me, Uncle Paul did. I didn’t realize he was so caught up in it.”
“That must have been really hard for you, growing up.”
He tried to shrug it off, but Liz could see the truth. “I thought things were going to get better once I moved in with Uncle Paul. I was out of school, I had a job, and I could help out with the bills and things. For the first time in – well, ever since I can remember – I was excited about the future.” He looked around the office with a wistful grin. “But I guess I’m back at square one. I don’t blame you if you want to let me go, Liz. I just came by to drop off your key and pick up a few things that I left here.”
“Wait.” Liz’s heart ached for the young man in front of her. She knew he was smart and a hard worker. He couldn’t be blamed for the hand life had dealt him. The night she’d lost her parents, Paul had stepped in and given her a foundation to cling to. Maybe this was her chance to repay the favor. “I never said I was firing you, Jimmy.”
A spark of hope entered his eyes and reaffirmed her decision. “You aren’t?”
“No! In fact, I’m going to need help around the shop now more than ever. Especially if I’m the only mechanic. I’ll be too busy working on the cars to have to worry about the phones and stuff. Plus, you know how much I loved doing that before. Can you imagine how it’s going to be now that my face was on every television in the state? It’s going to be a fricken zoo!”
Relief, pure and bright, filled his face. “Oh, I didn’t think about it. Sure, I can totally help out with that.”
“Good.” She gave a short nod, as if punctuating the conversation. “Then it’s settled. You have a job here at the garage for as long as you want one, Jimmy. We’ll take everything else as it comes.
“In the meantime, I could use some help cleaning the garage up and getting this place back to normal. Think you can handle a broom?”
“I’m on it.”
“Oh, and don’t bother changing the sign on the door. I think we’ll stay closed today.”
“Okay. Hey, Liz?”
She turned back towards him. “Yeah?”
“Thank you.” Jimmy’s eyes welled up before he looked away. It was the exact same move his uncle had done the previous day in the hospital. Her heart ached. If only there was something else she could do for him. He swallowed, his eyes red-rimmed, but dry. “Did you see? There’s a crowd of reporters out there.”
“What?”
He pointed out the front door windows towards the parking lot beyond. Sure enough, there was a small crowd of news vans and reporters.
“Great, that’s all we need.” She sighed and handed him a broom. “Come on. Let’s go tackle something we can control.”
Chapter Forty-Six
The mid-August day was heavy with humidity. A trickle of sweat left a trail down Liz’s spine as the sun took full advantage of her all-black ensemble. Beneath their feet, the grass was dry and crunchy, more brown than green. She shifted the two bouquets she was holding into her other hand. How much longer was this service going to take?
Quite a few people had stared when she walked up to the gravesite with her sisters and Jimmy. It had only been a week since the ordeal, but Liz was looking forward to the day she wasn’t recognized by total strangers on the street. She glanced over at the young man standing beside her. If she was feeling overwhelmed by the scrutiny, it had to be a hundred times worse for Jimmy. She sent him a small smile of encouragement, and was rewarded when he lifted his chin a little higher.
Liz took a moment to look around as a man pushed the button to lower the casket into the ground. Alex stood across the plot from her, his face set in a somber expression. It was the first time she’d seen him since their conversation in the hospital. He looked good, the sun just over his shoulder glinting in his hair and turning it to gold. There had been a few times she’d felt his eyes focus on her during the ceremony, but he never openly acknowledged her or gave any indication of what he was thinking.
The distance between them felt foreign after the time they’d shared. She wished she could comfort him or ask him how he was feeling. After the funeral, there were so many people who were waiting to talk to him that she decided to hang back.
Heck, she wasn’t even sure if she was welcome. After all, the phone call with the funeral details had been made to Olivia. She’d briefly debated not coming, but after everything that had happened between them, it felt disrespectful. He had stuck by her through one of the most challenging situations she’d ever been through. The least she could do was attend his father’s funeral.
A pang of jealousy shot through her when she’d recognized Cynthia, a permanent fixture by his side. She looked perfectly elegant in her black dress. Liz wondered how she didn’t faint from heatstroke, with its black sleeves and long hem. It had to be hotter than what Liz was wearing, and she was in danger of spontaneously melting into a giant sweat puddle at any second.
After the services, she crossed the cemetery to another freshly dug grave. The headstone at this plot was simple and only contained two dates and a name, Peter Mullin. She stared down at the lonely mound of dirt and remembered the boy she shared her sandwiches with.
A moment later, Liz wiped the tears from her cheek and laid her last bouquet of flowers down. The group that gathered for Rod Weston’s funeral had already begun to disperse. Liz made her way back to the car and watched as Jimmy and Mason talked on the hillside. She wondered if she needed to make an appearance at the reception, of if she could find a reason to get back to the shop.
Fiona walked across the grass to join her. “Are you doing okay?”
Liz snapped out of her gloom. She’d been so lost in thought that she hadn’t realized she was no longer alone. After leaning into Fiona’s hug, she stepped back and rested against the car. “Yeah, I’m okay. Why?”
“You’ve kind of had a scowl on your face all day. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be with all those people staring at you.”
“Not as hard as it’s been for Jimmy, I’m sure.”
“It’s not a contest, Liz. It can be difficult for you, too.”
Liz instantly regretted her surly tone. She gave her sister another squeeze. “Shit. I’m sorry, Fiona. This whole month has sucked.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” She pulled back and gave Liz an assessing look. “Why do I get the feeling this also has something to do with a certain handsome contractor?”
Liz felt herself crack. She’d been trying so hard to keep her feelings in check. Leave it to her little sister to be able to see right through her walls. Knowing she’d hit a soft spot, Fiona continued. “Have you seen him since everything happened?”
“I saw him at the hospital the night his father passed away, right after I returned from the police station. Things didn’t go very well.”
“How so?”
Liz tried to tamp down the pang in her chest as she remembered their exchange. “He shut me out.” She sighed. “We haven’t seen each other since.”
“That was five days ago!” Fiona paused. It was obvious she was debating whether to say more. “Liz, you know I love you…”
Liz grew wary. “Yeah.”
“But you’re not the easiest person to get to know. You have a tendency to hold people at
arm’s length. Have you ever considered that this is how people feel when you shut them out?”
Ouch. “Gee, thanks for pulling your punches, Fiona.”
She watched as her sister blushed. “I wasn’t saying it to hurt you! It’s just, you know, maybe you could cut him some slack. It isn’t like you haven’t pulled back from someone before. Don’t you think he deserves another chance?”
Liz hated to admit she had a point. How could she explain her fear of opening up and letting herself be vulnerable? Of allowing someone like Alex to get close? How could she relay the pain of him pulling away right as she was reaching out?
The problem was, she couldn’t help but doubt whether she was good enough for him. Even despite everything that had happened – or maybe because of it. What they could have together seemed almost too good to be true.
Her inner turmoil must have shown on her face because Fiona bumped shoulders with her. “Do you love him?”
“Yes, and it scares the shit out of me.” Liz rolled her eyes as her sister laughed. “I’m so glad I could amuse you,” she groused.
“I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you.” She calmed down and got serious. “Eliza Harper, I have never known you to run from something that scared you. You’ve always been the badass that stood up and fought for what you wanted, or what you thought was right. Especially when it came to the people you cared about. You’re stronger than this.”
“Hey, what’s going on over here?” Olivia walked over to where the two sisters were talking.
“Liz was just about to tell me what she plans to do about her feelings for Alex.”
Olivia’s eyebrows shot up. “I knew it! Something did happen while you were on the run.”
Liz had kept most of the details about the night she’d spent with Alex to herself, but now realized she hadn’t been as good at keeping things secret as she’d thought. So much for being discreet.
“Yes. Something amazing happened.” At the look that passed between her two sisters, Liz felt obliged to add, “Amazing, that is, until I went ahead and sabotaged it directly afterward.”
“Oh.” Olivia’s face turned to disappointment. “Was it really that bad?”
“Well, it wasn’t good. Things were still uncomfortable between us the next day when I watched him get arrested. Then Paul overdosed, the cops came, his father died…”
Olivia grimaced. “It’s hard to believe so much has happened these last few days. I’m thankful the worse is over.”
“…and now we’re all just supposed to go back to normal? I don’t even know what that means anymore! How can a romance forged under those conditions possibly be real?”
The question had been asked rhetorically, but Olivia seemed to weigh her response carefully before answering. “Isn’t that up to you?”
Liz opened her mouth to respond, then shut it again. Her brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Regardless of whether Alex is “the one” or not, you can’t let fear be the reason you don’t try and find out. Who knows? Maybe you both live happily ever after, or maybe three months from now you end the relationship because he doesn’t squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom. You might both live together until you’re ninety, or one of you might end up getting hit by lightning.”
She continued, “Look at our parents. Do you think they expected to die in a car accident, leaving three young daughters behind? Of course not. But I still think, even knowing how it all would end up, that they would have chosen to be together.”
“Me too.” Fiona’s voice cracked. “What they had was beautiful.”
Olivia placed a hand on Liz’s shoulder. “Nothing is guaranteed. You have to decide what’s going to hurt more – opening up to Alex, or spending the rest of your life running away from all the potential good this world has to offer because you’re too afraid.”
“Geez. Between you and Fiona, I’m going to start getting a complex.” The knot in Liz’s stomach grew. “Talk about a bleak future.”
Olivia sent her a commiserating look. “I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. Any relationship, whether it’s this one or a different one, requires a certain amount of vulnerability. You have to be willing to open up and communicate honestly. If you can’t accept that, you’re looking at a very lonely existence.”
“But what if it’s too late?” Liz couldn’t help picturing Cynthia standing by Alex. Had she blown her shot at love before it even had a chance to start?
Fiona said, “If you want it, you’ll find a way to make it happen. I have faith in you.”
“Me too.” Olivia got a sly smile. “In fact, I have the best idea! Alex and I were talking about the restaurant opening, and he assured me he’ll be able to make up for the lost time. We’re still on schedule to open next week.”
“Oh! That’s awesome! I can’t believe you let me go on about my pathetic life while you’re sitting on such great news.”
“Thanks, but don’t change the subject.” Olivia rubbed her hands together. “Why don’t you take the time between now and then to think about what you want? If you decide life is better with Alex than without him, you can use the restaurant opening as an opportunity to patch things up.”
“That’s a great idea!” Fiona beamed at her sister.
“But you have to make sure you’re willing to do what it takes.” Olivia warned. “That means laying it on the line with him. Can you make that kind of commitment?”
In her heart, Liz knew she already had.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Matt Hagen stuffed his laptop into the bag and checked to make sure he hadn’t left anything on the desk. Most people would count this case as a win. Jonesy had been picked up in Boston earlier that morning and would face drug charges for what happened at Liz’s garage. Unfortunately, there was a credit card receipt that could prove he’d been in Massachusetts when Paul was being overdosed.
Josh already had his lawyer talking plea deal, but there was nothing Matt could do about that. It was disturbing to discover a fellow law enforcement officer was dirty, but gratifying to have caught him. He had secured enough evidence to build a solid case in court, and knew a conviction was likely.
That didn’t mean he was the most popular guy in the Bath Police Department. For all of Josh Carver’s faults, there were officers who were still willing to close ranks and stand by him. Matt knew the faster he could get out of there and move on to the next case, the better. All he had to do was say good-bye to the Chief and he’d be headed back to Portland.
He glanced around the conference room that had served as his temporary office for the last week. Matt knew he was missing something. He’d spent most of the previous night poring over his files, unable to identify the feeling of discontent that gnawed at him. Who had been on the phone with Josh the night Liz and Alex had gone on the run? Damn, he wished they had found the phone in the warehouse. By the time they had gone through Liz’s statement and went to retrieve it, it was gone.
And who had overdosed Paul in the abandoned house? He knew it wasn’t Josh. He’d been at the debriefing earlier that day, and the timing was off. Which led to the fact that this puppet master wasn’t just calling the shots from behind the scenes. He had taken an active role in how events unfolded. Either that or there was another lackey. The questions plagued him. It felt wrong to leave that loose end hanging, it felt like the case was incomplete.
Recognizing that he wouldn’t be able to solve it by staring into an empty room, Matt stepped out and made his way to the Chief’s office. This wasn’t the first time he’d worked with Chief Hamilton. He knew that final piece of the puzzle was bothering the other man just as much as it was him.
He knocked on the door and was waved in. “You taking off?”
“In a few minutes. It doesn’t look like there’s much else we can do with the case, at the moment. Certainly not from here.”
“I appreciate you coming down here and helping us out.”
“My pleasure. I’m sorry about yo
ur officer.”
“Me too.” Chief Hamilton sat down heavily. He looked tired. “We’ve had some disciplinary issues with Josh in the past, he’s a bit of a hothead, but I never would have guessed he’d be a part of this. Although, when I look back on past cases, he was usually the first to respond on a lot of them. Almost as if he was on call to do damage control.”
Hagen shifted the bag on his shoulder. “See? That’s what I keep coming back to. We know there’s someone else out there. Josh isn’t smart enough to come up with an operation like this on his own, but he’s not the kind of guy who would answer to just anyone. Either they have something on him, or they had access to some resource he didn’t.”
“You’d think that would narrow our search, but I can’t come up with a viable suspect.”
“Me neither.”
Chief Hamilton looked down at his notes on the case. “I keep going back to the real estate. How did Josh know all these properties were sitting vacant?”
“I don’t know. I agree, it’s a decent lead, but I haven’t found anything concrete. However, it’s certainly a thread I’ll be following up on.” Hagen stepped forward. “At any rate, at least this part of the investigation has been resolved. Now the ball is in my court.”
He reached across the desk to shake the Chief’s hand. “We’ve both been in this business long enough to know these things usually shake loose sooner or later. My money says that once Josh gets a clear idea of how much time he’s in for, he’s gonna plead out. In fact, I’ve heard he’s already working on it.”
A funny expression raced across the other man’s face before he nodded. “That, or Paul might remember more about who his attacker is.”
Matt agreed. “It’s a possibility, although I doubt it. Memory can get messed up when you’re on heroin, especially considering it was his first time and he wasn’t used to the drug’s effects. Not to mention he was beaten before-hand. Either way, I wouldn’t be surprised if we get another break in this case before it’s over. You have my number. Give me a call if you come up with anything.”
Secret Need (The Harper Sisters Book 2) Page 22