She frowns. “I have that poli-sci test on Tuesday. I’ve got to study.”
“We can meet at the library? I know a quiet corner where we can get cozy.”
She shakes her head. “Not cozy. We need a spot where we can focus and talk.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Truth is, I want to focus on her without anyone or anything dividing my attention. “I’ve got a perfect spot on the third floor. I’ll bring take-out and we can make a night of it.”
“Take-out in the library? That’s against like a hundred rules.”
I chuckle. “I’ve never been one to play by the rules.”
Instead of laughing like she’d usually do, my comment makes her frown. “I have to go.”
I check her out as she turns to grab her purse, even in another man’s sweats she is undeniably beautiful. I know she needs to get to work, but damn, I’d kill to pull her into my bed and fall asleep with her in my arms. After we kissed and made up first, of course.
“See you at four?” I ask as she pulls open my front door.
She gives me a small smile. “It’s a date.”
* * *
Needing to clear my head, I decide to go for a second run after Charlie leaves. I know I won’t fall back asleep - not now and I’m a glutton for punishment. I’m buzzing with adrenaline and have nothing to do with it. So instead I pull on my running shoes and pop in my earbuds.
Cheesy, maybe, but I put on the playlist Charlie sent me a few days ago of some of her favorite songs. Many of them are familiar, and I actually find myself relaxing by the time I push through mile five.
Last night was a disaster on so many levels. Finding Charlie the way I did for starters. But also my fight with Prescott. The words I shouted at my father.
All of it brings me to one conclusion, I need to know what I really want before I make any drastic decisions.
But damn, I’m a selfish prick for wanting Charlie to be by my side as I figure my shit out. I knew I wasn’t good enough for her, and now I feel that way twenty-fold. I just made plans with her again, knowing I’m the last thing she really needs.
I slow to a jog as I finish my work out, suddenly famished. My stomach is growling, considering a donut and coffee. I’m just turning back toward my place when I bump into Charlie’s friend Jill. She’s out running too, and she waves hello.
I stop, catching my breath. “Hey,” I say, both of us pulling out our earbuds. “How’s it going?”
She groans, clutching her sides. “God I hate running,” she says. “But it’s better than dieting.”
She has bright blue eyes and is nearly six foot tall. Charlie has told me they bonded over campus jobs and she was there for me before Christmas when I couldn’t get a hold of Charlie. I know she is someone I can trust, and right now, considering I’m not exactly getting on famously with Charlie's other best friend, I could use this time to my advantage.
I laugh, pointing to the donut shop across the street. “That’s where I was headed. Want to join me?”
She shrugs. “I mean, I did just run two miles, that’s practically a thousand free calories, right?”
“I’m not counting,” I say as we cross the street. As I push open the doors of the donut shop, sugar floods the senses. “God, I’m starving.”
Jill grins. “Didn’t make Charlie breakfast in bed today? What kind of man are you?”
I scratch the back of my head, not wanting to get into it. “She took a shift this morning so she left early.”
“Ah, okay then. Glad to hear she’s feeling better. Heard she left the catering gig early last night because she wasn’t feeling well.”
“Right,” I say, faking that I know anything about Charlie cutting out of work. What else didn’t she tell me about last night? “She was fine this morning.”
We place our orders, then take our coffee and donuts to a small table in the corner.
“So, I need your help with a date,” I say. I know that it’s just a study date, but I have a lot of mileage to make up for. Yes, she was with Tatum, but before that, I was at a party I didn’t invite her to.
Sure, I was doing it for her own good - our own good - but I’m no fool. I can see it was a dumbass decision. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and all that.
“What kind of date?” Jill asks as she breaks her old fashioned in half.
“I have a study date with Charlie tonight. She’s prepping for a test. And I want it to be...” I shrug. “Perfect.”
Jill laughs. “And where will this study date take place?”
“The Princeton Library.”
She moves her eyebrows up and down. “Nothing says sexy like college textbooks.”
I chuckle, knowing it isn’t the most romantic location. But right now I don’t need to shower Charlie with romance, we just need to try and find some common ground. We need to figure out if we can make this relationship, or whatever is left of it, work.
“I know, I know,” I say. “But what are some of her favorite things? You guys are close, right?”
“Yeah, but aren’t you the one dating her?”
I take a bite of my donut. “Yeah, but when we are together, everything is really...charged. We still have a lot to learn about one another.”
“And you want to make her swoon?” Jill asks, grinning.
“Pretty much.”
“Then you need to get good snacks. We’re talking popcorn. Gummy worms. And Diet Dr. Pepper.”
I laugh. “You sure? I’ve never seen Charlie drink soda.”
Jill shrugs. “Have you ever crammed for a test with her? Oh, and index cards. And highlighters. And Post-it notes. She takes test prep as seriously as she took the SATs.”
“Were you friends with her back in high school?”
Jill shakes her head. “No, but I do know she didn’t have a tutor and still got a near perfect score.”
I nod, impressed. I knew Charlie was smart, that she worked her ass off to get into Princeton, but I guess I didn’t realize just how passionate she was about her education.
“When it comes to school, she doesn’t mess around,” Jill says. “That’s why getting into the master’s program means so much to her.”
“I admire that so much. Her work ethic is impressive. My father’s colleagues could learn something from her playbook.”
Jill finishes her donut and points a finger at me. “Yeah, Charlie is a special person. It’s why you better not hurt her.”
I frown. “I’m not planning on it.” But I know just being around me it’s going to happen. People are cruel, especially over-privileged assholes who think they’re better than people whose wallets aren’t overflowing with old money.
Jill leans back in her chair, watching me. “Your intentions seem good, but she deserves a man who will stick by her side, through thick and thin. Not just because she’s pretty.”
“What are you saying?” I narrow my eyes at her.
“That you’re Princeton Charming for a reason, and Charlie is...well, she’s a sweetheart. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”
“Duly noted,” I say, trying to push away my frustration. Jill isn’t even giving me the benefit of the doubt. But then again, I have a reputation for a reason. I don’t want to be that man when I’m with Charlie. I want to be...better.
Jill is frowning at me now. “I know you didn’t write those blog posts or whatever, but whoever did should pay. No one deserves that.”
“I couldn’t agree more. Charlie deserves the whole fucking world.”
She smiles then. “Good, glad we’re on the same page, Mr. Beckett.”
I chuckle. “Didn’t realize grabbing donuts with you meant getting the third degree.”
Standing to go, Jill says, “Don’t worry, you passed the test.”
But will I pass Charlie's?
We say goodbye, and I try to squelch the uneasiness I feel. The donuts didn’t seem to take care of the pit in my stomach.
Truth is, Jill’s words hit home. Charlie deserves everythi
ng - and after last night I wonder if I am the man who can give it to her.
3
Charlie
When I get to the library, I text Spencer.
Me: Where is this cozy corner you promised?
Spencer: Third floor. Past Greek mythology. To the right.
After a long shower, and an even longer shift, I am looking forward to sitting down with a pile of books and notes and losing myself in school work. Having some eye-candy won’t hurt, but I am really hoping Spencer will be more of a help than a distraction. To be honest, all day I’ve been wrestling with what to do with him, where this relationship should go. Deep down I think I know what needs to happen, but I’m not ready to admit it. I don’t want to face the truth about Spencer and me, because when we’re together, everything clicks.
And maybe that’s enough.
Regardless, I do know that this poli-sci test isn’t going to study itself. As I climb the second flight of stairs, I follow his instructions, without much expectation. If things don’t go well between us, I can always head back to my dorm and study there.
But when I find him sitting on a leather couch in a corner, just as he promised, my eyes widen. “You did all this?” I ask, taking in the goodies he has set out on a table.
“I tried to get your favorites.”
“How did you know I crave Diet Dr. Pepper when I am in full on study mode?” I ask, dropping my bag and peeling off my layers. It is still freezing outside, and I place my gloves and hat on top of my coat.
“I may have asked a friend.”
I smile. “Well whoever it is, they know me well. This is impressive.” He has a pile of index cards and a jar of pencils and highlighters. Along with a dry erase board on an easel. “Are we going to get in trouble for setting up camp like this?”
Spencer shakes his head. “Being Princeton royalty has its privileges.”
I laugh, settling in next to him. “Thank you,” I say, touched by his thoughtfulness. “This was really sweet.”
“I know we have things to talk through, but tonight, let’s just focus on this test, okay?”
I smile, appreciating that he isn’t pressuring me for answers right now - answers I’m guessing neither of us really want to say aloud.
“So, what chapter are we focusing on?” he asks, taking the book from my hands.
I reach for a handful of popcorn, knowing that this - being here, cozy with Spencer, is the only place I want to be right now.
Maybe it’s my way to avoid reality - the hard conversation I know we have to face eventually.
But right now, avoidance feels really, really good.
* * *
Hours later the cozy nook is a disaster zone. Empty cans of soda litter the table, there is a half-empty bowl of popcorn, and we are both half asleep. And the lights to the library have all turned off, except for our little corner. Spencer must have seriously pulled some strings.
“I think the library is closed,” I say. “Maybe we should call it a night.”
“How about I quiz you one more time?” he asks, sitting up straighter.
“Okay, but this time we make it a game.”
“What kind of game?”
I bite the corner of my mouth, wanting to thank Spencer properly for being such a good sport tonight. “Is there such thing as a Strip-Quiz?”
His brows go up. “It can be now.”
I snort. “You are such a boy.”
He lifts a finger. “I’m pretty sure this game was your idea.”
“Good point,” I say, laughing. “Okay here are the rules. Every time we get an answer wrong we have to remove an item of clothing.”
Spencer grunts in approval. “How about we cut to the chase and just fuck like I know we both want?”
My cheeks burn. “I had no idea studying turns you on so much,” I tease.
“It’s you who turns me on, Charlie Hayes. You alone.”
He leans over and kisses me then, his mouth on mine sending a thousand pricks of desire over my body. His lips are soft, and his tongue finds mine. It’s like he is exploring me for the first time all over again.
“Oh Spence,” I whisper, wanting this. Him. So bad. I pull him on top of me, unbuckling his pants as I do. Being here, in a public place, feels forbidden and exciting. The rush of doing this with him here makes me giddy.
“I like the whole naughty schoolgirl thing,” he tells me, pushing down my leggings, his hand on my wet pussy. God, he gets me so ready, so freaking fast.
“Sorry I don’t have on knee socks or a plaid skirt.”
“You don’t need that shit.”
I wrap my fingers around his shaft, his thick pulsing cock getting me so wound up. “No?” I ask. “You don’t have a fantasy of a woman in costume?”
“I prefer you naked, under me. I don’t need any accessories. Just my cock and your sweet pussy.”
“And I’m the naughty one?” I ask with a laugh.
“God, you feel so good, Charlie,” he says as he guides his length inside of me. I moan, wrapping my arms around his neck as he begins to fill me up. My body is humming with pleasure as he moves inside of me.
It’s fast, the way my body opens for him, like his thickness inside of me was the one thing I’ve been missing all this time.
“I love fucking you,” he tells me as he moves deeper inside me.
I gasp, my fingers digging in his hair, holding on to him as he thrusts hard and fast inside me.
As he is just finishing, I hear a noise behind us. A click of a camera.
“What the fuck?” Spence shouts, pulling away from me. I feel exposed, but as I look in his eyes, I know he does too.
He moves toward the noise, and I pull up my pants.
There’s a commotion, Spencer swearing, and I see a dark figure move in the shadows, their identity hidden by a black hoodie. Books fall off shelves as Spencer goes after them. But they’re too quick. The only good thing is that they dropped their phone, which Spencer retrieves.
“What the fuck?” His anger pulses off of him, and it’s not an overreaction. I feel shook up and stunned. “This place is supposed to be locked up, except for the security guard.”
“Maybe it was the blogger? Trying to…” Tears fill my eyes. It’s all too much. If those photos got out...if my parents saw...
Spencer grips the phone, fingers whitening around it. “I’ll give this to my guys, maybe they can trace it.”
“Delete the photos first, Spence, I don’t want anyone to see...anyone to think...”
He nods, touching the screen of the smartphone. “It’s locked. But I’ll break into it. Or I will find someone I trust implicitly to help.”
“Thanks,” I say with a shaky breath. “Kind of ruined the mood.”
Spencer nods, his jaw tight, his eyes dark. “Maybe after I call security, it’s time we have the conversation we’ve been avoiding.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes. Not wanting this, but also knowing it’s inevitable.
And after what just happened, it’s imperative. It’s not just Spencer’s reputation on the line. It’s mine too.
4
Spencer
After I speak with my security guys, Charlie and I clean up the area where we spent all evening. The mood is dark, tainted by the fucking asshole who tried to cash in on our relationship.
I didn’t get a good look at them. With the rush of adrenaline, me trying to pull my pants up and chase after them, not to mention the shadows and the hoodie that covered their face, I don’t even know if the intruder was a guy or a girl. All I know is that when I do find out their identity, they better have a good fucking lawyer.
“Come on, let’s get you in your coat,” I say, helping Charlie get bundled up.
She’s still shaken up, and I don’t blame her. I should never have let things get so heated up in a public place. Even if I thought we were alone. One thing my parents did teach me is that there’s always someone watching.
We walk down the steps of th
e library, words hanging between us. The conversation we both want to avoid heavy around us. But it won’t help either of us to not get it all out in the open.
Even if it’s going to hurt like hell.
In my car, I turn on the ignition, warming it up. I want to take her hand in mine again, pull her to me. But every time I do, it leads to sex.
And sex isn’t going to fix what’s broken between us. And that’s the truth of it...Charlie and I are broken. I’m broken. But I’m not sure who the hell I am without her. I just know I have to find out. For her sake and for my own.
The ache in my chest turns sharp when the thought goes through my head.
Because I want her still.
I think I...fuck...I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her. Not the chick-flick-inta-lust kind of love, but the real, deep, all-consuming, give-her-all-my-tomorrows sort of love.
Which is why this hurts so damn much.
Because she was right last night when she said she didn’t think things between us would work. I was a fool to think they would. It’s going to hurt like a motherfucker to let her go, but the pain we’ll both inflict on each other if we don’t end this now will be much worse.
There will be more stalkers. More bloggers. More people who will never accept Charlie for the sweet, perfect woman she is. They’ll lash out at her, try to destroy her. And I’m not sure I can protect her. Not from the whole fucking world.
So I do what I do best...I push her away.
“So about last night,” I say, leaning back in my seat, not meeting her eyes.
“Yeah,” she says softly. “Spencer, nothing happened with Tat—”
“I believe you.”
“You do?”
“Doesn’t change the fact that you went to him instead of me, that you drank to the point of—”
“I can explain.”
I give a hard shake of my head. “Let’s call it what it is, Charlie.”
“What it is?” There’s a hint of frustration in her words, and when I look over at her, I see the flicker of fire in those hazel eyes, the fight that’s about to happen. “Because this is all my fault, right?”
Losing Princeton Charming Page 2