“Am I okay?”
“You’ve got a bump on your head from hitting a chair on the way down, and you’re dehydrated which is why you have the I.V.”
Julia glanced at her bandaged hand. A long, clear tube ran from under the gauze and up to an I.V. bag. “I had a feeling I was getting sick. Everyone’s sick at the nursing home.”
Kim took Julia’s hand. “You don’t have the flu.” Kim inhaled sharply. “You’re pregnant.”
She stared at Kim, not really sure she heard her correctly. This is simply some weird dream and I’ll awaken soon.
“Jules, you okay? Did you hear me?” Kim said, concerned. “You’re not going to pass out again are you? I had to tell you while I had the chance before your dad walks in.”
Julia closed her eyes. When I open them I’ll be back home in my bed.
She opened her eyes. Kim still stood beside her, her face a contortion of worry and compassion. “Did you hear what I said? You’re having a baby.”
Julia fished for any possibility of error. Kim must be wrong. She and Sam used protection. There couldn’t be any baby. There should be London in the fall, and a life with Sam, not this nightmare in which Sam married Deirdre.
Kim squeezed her hand. “The doctor ran a test.”
She couldn’t believe this! There was no reason for them to run a test unless… “Did you tell the doctor I was throwing up in the bathroom? I have the flu. I am not pregnant!”
Kim sat next to her on the bed. “I didn’t tell the doctor anything about you puking. No one knew why you passed out. The doctor asked your father if there was any possibility you might be pregnant and your father said, flat out, no.”
She tried to comprehend everything that occurred while she lay unconscious.
Kim continued. “I managed to get the doctor alone and I told him that it was slightly possible that you might be pregnant and he was glad I told him ‘cause if you need medication or x-rays, that’s important. So he ran a test. He told me the result because he needed more information about you because the result was positive.”
Julia stared at her friend, her mind a whirlwind of confusion. “We used condoms, Kim.” Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Well, something failed.”
Julia sat silent for several moments. She couldn’t be pregnant now. Sam didn’t even love her anymore, if he ever did. He married Deirdre. That’s why he stopped calling. Had he used her? She’d been such a fool. And he, one hell of an actor.
She reached for a tissue from the bedside stand. “There’s absolutely no mistake?”
“No.”
Julia wiped her eyes. What went wrong? Why had her one chance at happiness backfired into this cruel joke? Was she being punished for lying to her father? For going to England? For sleeping with Sam? Everything seemed like the right decision at the time, choices bound to bring her only happiness.
Another horrid thought hit her. “Oh God. Did the doctor tell my dad?”
“No. Your dad thinks you have the flu. I told the doctor you wouldn’t want your dad to know. He was fine with that. Your doc’s a great guy, Jules.”
“Good, maybe he’ll marry me.” Julia said, a fresh stream of tears starting. “Sam married Deirdre. How could he do that?”
Kim gathered more tissues. “I don’t know, Jules, I don’t know.”
She cried harder. “I thought Sam loved me. He never came out and said it, but that’s not like Sam, I don’t think. I mean, he told me about this little church in England on a hill, and I was in a white dress.” Her voice trailed off, barely audible. “And he wanted me to come back to England.”
Suddenly she couldn’t stop talking or crying. “Why would he marry Deirdre? He didn’t even like her!”
“He had me convinced he was sincere, too,” Kim offered. “All those calls and his last visit.”
Julia remembered their night in Chicago. She realized she became pregnant that evening. How had the happiest night of her life suddenly turned into this overwhelmingly awful problem?
“Any idea about what you might do about the baby, hon?” Kim said.
“What baby?” John stood in the doorway; the expression on his face revealed all that he heard.
Julia quickly wiped her tears, horrified that he overheard. “Go away, John. This doesn’t concern you.”
John stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. “You’re pregnant?”
“You should have knocked,” Kim snapped.
“It’s a hospital, not a hotel,” he shot back, and approached the bed. “Jules, are you pregnant?”
“I don’t want to discuss this with you.” She wished either she or him would disappear. “It’s none of your business.”
“But it is.” Concern filled John’s voice. “Are you really pregnant?”
Julia looked out the window. She didn’t want him here. She needed to be alone. She needed to focus on what to do, let the situation sink in, yet her thoughts kept returning to Sam and Deirdre.
“Who’s the father? That foreign guy?” John kept at her. Perhaps if she ignored him, he’d go away. Sam went away.
“I’ll kill that bastard for doing this to you!” John began to pace. “How dare he take advantage of you!”
“It wasn’t like that.” Julia said. Why am I even defending Sam?
“Then where is he, Jules?” John stopped at the bed and stared her down. “Is he going marry you?”
“Leave me alone!”
John stepped back from the bed. “I’m sorry. That was cruel. I’m just so pissed off, you know? You dumped me for this jerk?”
“He seemed like a good guy, John.” Kim piped in. “He invited Julia to live with him in London.”
“And?”
“And he married someone else,” Julia said, her words a confirmation more for herself than John.
“The bastard!” John said. “Tell me who is he, Jules.”
Julia sighed, exhausted. “Sam Lyons.”
“Sam Lyons?” John scratched his head. “Where have I heard that name? It sounds familiar. I think I just heard it recently.”
Both girls remained silent.
“Wait a minute.” John snapped his fingers. “Holy crap. Sam Lyons! He was that guy on the TV when you passed out.” His eyes grew wide. “That Sam Lyons? Sam Lyons is the guy who knocked you up?”
“Yes.” Kim answered for Julia.
“Oh man.” John ran a hand through his hair. “So what are you going to do about the baby?”
“You’re pregnant?”
Her father held the door open. He appeared as shocked as Julia was to see him standing in the doorway. Julia froze.
“The doctor said you had the flu!” Bert didn’t flinch from his position. His expression relayed disbelief, shock and unbearable sadness. Kim’s grip tightened around her hand.
Before she could speak, John startled them all. “Please don’t be angry, Mr. Steele. The baby’s mine, of course, and I love your daughter.”
“Oh no,” Kim said under her breath as Julia felt her head spin.
“We’re sorry you found out like this.” John fired off the words so quickly that Julia couldn’t think to respond, let alone speak. “We just found out.”
The room went silent. John looked at Julia. She stared at her father who glared at them both. Kim sat frozen by her side. What had John just said? This certainly was not his baby and he knew it. But his words calmed her father. His color returned to normal, and his breathing eased. He reached for a nearby chair, sat, and wiped beads of sweat from his brow.
“I’m sorry I yelled, Julia.”
“Dad, don’t,” Julia managed. She couldn’t bear for him to apologize for anything.
Her father glanced from John, to herself, and back again. “I just never expected this. I’m in shock. You’ve always been so good.”
Julia felt as if her father shot a dart through her heart. “I am a good person, Dad.” Tears welled again.
“Oh, I know.” Her father looked for
lorn. It broke her heart further. “That didn’t come out right. I didn’t mean you aren’t a good person. I just never expected-” he looked at John again. “Never mind.”
Julia wanted to crawl under the covers and never come out. If her father couldn’t accept the possibility of her sleeping with John, who he actually liked, how would she ever explain Sam Lyons to him?
“So.” Bert wiped his palms on his pant legs. “You kids goin’ to get married? I mean, no pressure, but I know you love each other and with a baby-”
John interceded again. “We just found out about the baby, Mr. Steele. We haven’t even had a chance to let it sink in.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. You two need some time.” Bert rose from his chair and walked towards the bed. “Jules it’s been a hard time for us, hey, kid? Without your mom around to talk to and all? I guess she’d be way better at this than I am. She’d know what to say.” He kissed her lightly on the head and backed away as if she was contagious instead of pregnant.
“It’s okay, Dad.” Julia glared at John as she spoke. “Yes, John and I do need to talk.”
“Take your time, girl, take your time.” He reached over and patted her hand. “But you can’t do better than this fellow here.” He nodded at John. “I guess if this had to happen, I’m glad it was with this guy, Jules. He’s a hard worker and construction is always needed. Good family, too.” He turned to John as if they were best pals. “Your dad and I were in the service together, you know? And we bowl in the same league.”
John smiled. “Yeah.”
“I’d be proud to have this kid as my son-in-law, Jules.” Bert patted John on the back. “It’s a little sooner than we all hoped, but what ya going to do, hey?” He forced a smile. “I’m going to go back to the bowling alley, get things cleaned up and the guests out of there.” He nodded awkwardly to the three of them as he left. “I’ll call tonight.”
Julia waited until she was sure her father was gone and then turned on John. “Where do you get off telling my dad it’s your baby?”
“Look, I know this is sudden,” John said. “But I’m serious. Marry me.”
Kim gasped and Julia laughed. “Thanks for the chivalry but this is my problem to figure out.”
“I’m trying to save your butt.” John’s voice softened as a soft blush overcame him. “And I do still love you. Can you think of a better way out?”
The problem was she couldn’t think. Not with him here. She certainly did not love him, and liked him even less for telling her father the baby was his. It only complicated things more; another lie.
“Look, thank you both for being here but I need some time alone.”
“Of course.” Kim let go of her hand and rose. “You call me if you need anything. The doctor said you could go home tomorrow.”
Kim hugged her and turned to leave. “Come on, John. We should go.”
John didn’t budge from the bedside. “In a minute. I want to talk to Julia alone.”
A nurse entered the room and announced that visiting hours were over. John appeared distraught and begged the woman for a few more moments. Julia mouthed “no” to the nurse, who simply guided John out the door.
Julia lay back against the pillows and shut her eyes. For the first time since she heard the news about Sam’s marriage, she was alone.
“Then again,” she said, her hand gliding over her abdomen. “I’m not really alone anymore am I?” Tears streamed down her face. Tears for herself and for the baby inside her. The baby conceived in a love she believed in and somehow lost.
“Oh Sam!” she cried into her pillow. “Why did you leave me this way?”
Chapter Thirty-Four
The dayshift nurse wheeled Julia to the hospital entrance.
“Thank you,” Julia said, and rose from the chair. “I’ll be okay waiting for my dad on my own.” She needed more time alone without the interruption of nurses, doctors and phone calls. With so many decisions to make, a little peace and quiet would be a welcome relief.
The nurse smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry, dear. But hospital policy forbids me to leave until your ride arrives.”
“Okay.” Julia sighed. She glanced anxiously down the stretch of curved road leading to the entrance. Where was her father?
To her dismay, John’s car pulled up along the curb and John jumped out, all smiles.
“Where’s my dad?” She didn’t bother to hide her disappointment. Last night, on the telephone, her father confirmed via telephone he would pick her up.
“I called him and offered to come get you,” John said. “Do you need help?” Without waiting for an answer, he took her belongings from her arms.
Julia thanked the nurse and reluctantly walked to the car. John opened the door for her. “How are you feeling today, Jules?”
“I’m tired.” Julia sat in the passenger seat and said little more as John drove away from the hospital.
“Jules, look,” John began and Julia cringed, not wanting to talk with him. “I’m serious about what I said yesterday. I want to marry you.”
Julia sighed, unprepared for this battle again. She remained quiet, and hoped John would take the hint and just drive.
But he continued, undeterred. “I love you.”
Julia stared at him in disbelief. Despite her vow not to talk with him about this, she couldn’t help herself. “I left you for someone else. How can you love me after that?”
“I’ve always loved you, Jules. Ever since we met in kindergarten and I saw you crying on the playground. You remember that day your mom was late picking you up?”
Julia remembered the day. Later she was to find out, it was the first time her mother received her breast cancer diagnosis. “You offered me a left over cookie from your lunch.”
“Yeah. You took the cookie, and then smiled this huge smile, Jules. I’ll never forget it. I thought you were the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my entire six years of life. I fell in love with you right then.” John laughed. “Little did I know you only smiled because your mother arrived. Anyhow, I’ve loved you from that moment on. When I asked you out sophomore year, I thought my life was complete. I loved being a part of your life. Those feelings just don’t go away.”
Like my feelings for Sam. They won’t go away. Julia felt trapped. She didn’t want to hurt John again, but he left her no choice. She chose her words carefully. “John, I don’t love you the way you love me.”
“How can you say that?” He shook his head. “We’ve been friends forever and dated for two years. You said you loved me. I would do anything for you.”
“John, when we were dating, I thought I loved you the way love should be, but I didn’t understand what love is exactly.” She paused, hating what she needed to say next. “But then I met Sam.”
John’s face became red and his breathing grew heavy as he turned onto a side street and parked near playground.
“What are we doing here? Why did you stop?”
“We’re going to talk this out.” John put the car in neutral, released his seatbelt and turned towards her. “If sex is what you want, geez! Do you know how many times I held back thinking you weren’t ready?”
Julia covered her face with her hands, unable to look at him. “Stop! It’s not about sex.”
“The hell it isn’t!”
“Stop yelling at me!”
John rested his forehead on the steering wheel. After a moment, he said, “I’m sorry.”
Julia removed her hands from her face and stared out the front window. “Look. Obviously I’ve been more… intimate… with Sam than you, and I’m sorry if it hurts. But Sam and I have this connection.” Or was it my imagination?
“Yippee, I’m thrilled about your connection.”
Julia ignored his sarcasm as she tried to help him understand. “Sam and I have a lot in common, like our love for theater and history and our goals for the future.” A future we were supposed to share together.
“Which is why he got married yesterday.�
�� John shot her an angry look.
Julia fell quiet. Tears threatened.
“I’m sorry.” John’s voice softened. “That was mean.”
Julia still didn’t answer. Her throat felt tight and she wanted to go home.
John looked up at the roof and sighed. “I’m just so angry, Jules. And I think I have a right to be. I hate this Sam guy for making you so unhappy. I’m scared because you’re pregnant and alone.”
“I’m not alone,” Julia lied. Without Sam she would always feel alone. “I have friends and my dad.”
“You won’t have your dad after he finds out what you did in Europe,” John said, genuinely concerned. “Think about that. What if he makes you give the baby up?”
“I don’t think he will,” Julia said, not certain at all. It hadn’t occurred to her that her father might force her to give up the baby.
“It could happen. He’s dead set on you going to college, which is why you should really think about marrying me. Your dad likes me and I love you. Always have, always will. I can provide a good home for you and the baby. And we could afford for you to do night school or something. And your dad seemed happy that I’m the father of your baby.
Julia stared at him with wide- eyed disbelief. “But you’re not!”
“Well, considering that the real father just married someone else, and you can’t support yourself, let alone a child, just how are you going to raise this baby?” John paused. “I mean I assume you’re having the baby?”
“Jesus, John! I can’t believe you’re even asking me that.” She looked out the window to the playground and a quick image of her mother pushing her on those swings caught in her heart. She wanted this baby. She couldn’t ever destroy or give up what she and Sam created. “I am having the baby. What I need is time to sort things out. Could you please drive me home?”
John sighed, but started the car. “Okay. I’ll take you home.” He reached over and placed his hand over hers. “Please, Julia. Please think about my offer. You’d make me the happiest guy on earth.”
She didn’t answer. An entire new world of worry settled on her. John made his point. What if her dad freaked out about Sam and demanded she put the baby up for adoption? She’d have to run away to keep it. But where? Sam wouldn’t help her. Kim was leaving leave for college soon. No one could help her except…
A Lonely Sky Page 17