“I’m fine,” she insisted, but Jonty wouldn’t hear any protests and before long she was sipping a latte and working her way through a very plastic cheese and ham sandwich. While she ate, and the tors of Dartmoor sped by dark and unseen, neither Andi nor Jonty spoke. Only when the last wrapper was screwed up and the cruise control set did the atmosphere shift from companionship to something more charged. A shiver stroked her skin.
“So,” Jonty said slowly, “Travis isn’t to blame. And you say that it wasn’t the appalling way I behaved yesterday. So, is it Si? The work? He’s horrified that you’ve resigned. He called me straightaway and asked if I knew anything about it.”
“No! It’s none of you! Don’t ever think that!”
“So what happened?” Jonty’s voice was full of concern. “Andi, I know how happy you are working with Si and I know he thinks the world of you too. He’s thinking of offering you a job at Mermaid Media when the summer ends.”
Andi closed her eyes in despair. When Si knew she’d lied about being sacked he wouldn’t want her anywhere near his company.
Still keeping his eyes on the road, Jonty reached out and took her hand. “Andi, what’s happened?”
It was hopeless. His briefest touch was enough to breach the dam of her self-control. To her utter despair Andi burst into tears and her body was racked by huge sobs. Suddenly all the burdens that she’d carried for so long – the financial strains, losing her job, Tom’s threats, Jax – were too heavy to bear for a second longer. She was so tired of struggling. She didn’t think she could carry on.
Jonty didn’t say a word; he just let her cry. Releasing her hand just so he could turn off the main road and park up, he sat quietly and waited. He didn’t probe or try to pry but just let her be. When the storm of emotion had passed, he unclipped their seatbelts and pulled her into his arms. She was limp with weeping, and it was a relief to be held.
“Whatever it is, we can sort it,” he murmured into her hair. “I promise, Andi. There’s nothing so bad that we can’t make it better. Just tell me what it is. Let me help.” His hand brushed the tears from her cheeks and smoothed the curls away from her face. “Oh, Andi, don’t you realise? There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
And when Jonty lowered his head and kissed her Andi felt everything fall away. She tasted the salt of her tears on his lips and felt the warmth of his arms holding her close. Finally they broke apart and smiled wonderingly at one another. Tilting her face upwards with his forefinger he said, “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that?”
Actually Andi didn’t, but the way his eyes were lit from the inside told her everything she needed to know.
“Me too,” she whispered. Being wrapped in Jonty’s arms felt so right and so safe; she never wanted to move away from that circle, never wanted to be far from him again.
“Now she tells me! So whatever stopped you?” he teased. “Christ! There were so many times when I thought we might be getting closer. Remember that day in Ursula?”
Andi knew she’d never forget it. This was one of the memories she’d been treasuring up for the bleak days ahead. Then a thought occurred to her.
“What about Jax?”
Jonty looked genuinely confused. “What about her?”
Andi gulped. Much as she hated to ruin a perfect moment, she had to know the truth.
“You two are back together, aren’t you?” When he shook his head, she added, “Jonty, it’s OK: I saw you together in her house when I came back from Treliske. I was looking for my bag and I saw you through the window.”
His eyes widened. “Now who’s jumping to conclusions? You saw that? Jax threw herself at me. I was so shocked. I didn’t see that one coming. I thought she’d well and truly moved on.” He paused. Didn’t you see me push her away?”
Andi rolled her eyes. “I didn’t exactly stick around.”
“And is that why you were leaving? Because you thought I was with Jax?” He looked down at her, visibly distressed – so dark and square-jawed and gorgeous that her heart twisted. Reaching across, she kissed him again and time seemed to dissolve. How much time had passed? Andi had no idea. When they broke apart she touched her lips wonderingly.
“Too much?” Jonty asked.
She shook her head. “Never.” She wanted to pause and make sure this was real, freeze this perfect moment before she told him everything. Maybe when he knew the truth Jonty wouldn’t want to hold her any longer. When he knew what ammunition Tom had he might well not want anything to do with her. Just the briefest thought of this almost floored her with loss, but she knew it was a chance she had to take. There could be no more secrets.
She looked up at him, overwhelmed with emotions.
“I really need to tell you everything,” she said slowly. “There’s so much about me that you don’t know.”
He laced his fingers with hers. “There are things about me I need to tell you too. Things I probably should have levelled with you a long time ago.”
Andi doubted that any secrets Jonty had could compete with being sacked, accused of fraud and having your ex blackmail you with private and personal images, but she loved him even more for trying to make her feel better.
Hang on. She loved him?
“There’s so much I need to tell you,” she said.
He dropped a kiss onto the top of her head.
“There’s no rush.”
“But there is!” Andi cried. She sat bolt upright in her seat. With Tom at large, who knew how long she had to tell Jonty the truth before Simon called him and revealed everything? The idea filled her with dread. “Jonty, I—”
Jonty placed his finger on her lips.
“Tell me as we drive. If you still want to go to London we’ll have to step on it to make the train,” he told her gently. “We can talk in the car.”
Panic clawed her throat. London now? After this?
“But if you don’t,” he continued, “I know the perfect place we can go.”
“Back to Rock?” Andi felt exposed and raw at that idea. Would Tom be waiting for her already? Or maybe he’d heard that she’d left and was already emailing Simon? She felt sick.
“No, not Rock.” Releasing her, he started the engine. “A place I know not far from here where it can just be you and me in peace.”
She looked at him with questions in her eyes. “Where?”
“Somewhere just for us,” he said. “Are you ready to talk?”
Andi nodded. The time for secrets and hiding from the truth was over. She was exhausted and the pain of maybe losing him all over again was lurking, but this time she knew that she wasn’t going to run away.
“I’m ready,” she said.
Chapter 45
The Kingfisher Inn was a small hotel set on the banks of the River Dart, which wound its slow way through the heavily wooded valley like a midnight ribbon. When Jonty threw open the French windows to the balcony, light spilled from them and trembled on the water while the muslin drapes whirled and danced in the breeze. The scent of the roses that wound their way around the balustrade and tumbled from the crumbly brick walls filled the room like a Jo Malone fragrance.
Andi looked around and her heart lifted. Jonty was right: this was a healing place. The inn was set well away from the road, so the only sounds were the slapping of the river against the shore or the odd call of waterfowl. She stepped onto the balcony, breathed the sweet night-time air and felt the tension begin to slide away. The sky arcing above the black smudges of woodland was inky and dusted with stars; Tom and Rock and all of her fears seemed very far off.
It was a good feeling.
“Is this OK?” Jonty joined her on the balcony. Although she couldn’t see him, Andi sensed his shy smile in the darkness. His hand came to rest lightly on her shoulder, his thumb gently caressing her skin, and her whole body suddenly came alive.
“It’s perfect,” Andi said, because it really was.
If there was ever a place that spoke of peace and menta
l freedom, then this was it. The room was simple but filled with elegant and understated luxury in every detail, from the stripped and waxed floorboards to the huge bed swathed in snowdrifts of linen and plump with pillows, to the billowing curtains. Andi’s brow creased; Jonty had just passed his card over to the concierge as easily as though checking into a Travelodge, but this boutique hotel was clearly in another league altogether. This was a guy who lived in his sister’s pool house and eked out a living fixing boats and doing gardening for the minimum wage. She couldn’t expect him to pay for all this.
“I don’t expect you to have to—” she began, but couldn’t speak any more because he pulled her into his arms and kissed the words away. The world dipped on its axis and time stood still. It was enough just to be there; nothing else was important.
Finally they broke apart and, slipping his hands around her waist, Jonty brushed his lips against her temple. She could feel the drumming of his heart racing in tandem with her own.
“Do you feel ready to tell me about it all?” Jonty asked. His breath fluted against her skin and she shivered, partly from nervousness and partly from desire. Out on the balcony, wrapped in the darkness and his arms, she felt safe. Inside, where the lamps threw puddles of honeyed light, was just a few steps away – but in another sense it was miles. Her glance fell onto the bed, an island of white goose-down duvet floating amid a Berber-rug sea, and her mouth dried. Everything was going to change.
Following her glance, Jonty said quickly, “I promise I’ll be every bit as gentlemanly as Travis Chumley! I’ll sleep on the couch tonight; you needn’t worry.”
At the thought of this, all of her apprehension vanished in an instant. Jonty would sleep on the couch? That seemed like a dreadful waste! She wanted him to pull her close, bury his mouth in hers and love her until the sun rose above the trees and the sleepy stars slipped away, not sleep on the couch!
For a moment they stared at one another; then Andi reached up on tiptoes to kiss him and everything else fell away. She didn’t think she’d ever wanted anything so much in her life as to sink into him and then to drift off to sleep with his face in her mind and his skin pressed against hers. The time for hesitation was over.
“I’d rather you lay down too and held me,” she whispered. “I don’t want to let you go.”
Jonty’s face broke into a smile of such joy that Andi’s heart crumbled like one of Gemma’s vanilla sponges. Hand in hand they left the balcony.
Once they were indoors and wrapped up in each other, with the lamps off and only the moon’s pale smile lighting the room, Andi watched the drapes dancing in the breeze and then closed her eyes. Jonty’s arms tightened around her.
“What’s been going on?” he asked gently, his lips brushing the nape of her neck.
She took a deep breath. This was it. Just as the last days of summer always bore the hint of crispness, so her time with Jonty was sharpened by the fear of the truth coming out. She had to tell him everything or this would all be over even before it had begun.
It was easier somehow to speak in the dark. In the circle of Jonty’s arms Andi found that the words began to flow; at first a trickle, then a steady stream before a torrent. The riverbanks of silence were well and truly breached and her story tumbled out. The sacking, Alan’s taking the credit for her work with Safe T Net, Tom’s betrayal, the debts and the emptied account: all these things that had made macramé of her emotions for months were finally out there. The more she told him the more Andi found she wanted to tell him.
Blimey. Catholics were really onto something with confession!
All the way through her rambling tale, half sobbed and half laughed, Jonty said nothing, but the gentleness of his touch and the tension she felt shudder through him when she told him how Tom had threatened her that morning spoke volumes.
“So that’s why I’ve had to leave,” she finished quietly. “And do you know what the worst of it is? It’s my own fault. I should have levelled with you all from the start. If I’d told Si the truth about losing my job then at least he would have had an option whether or not to take a chance on me. That would be one less thing Tom could threaten me with.”
Jonty’s arms tightened around her. A human safety belt, she found herself thinking. “That wasn’t your fault, Andi. This guy at work, Alan, was totally plausible. It seemed to make sense that he was in charge. He covered his tracks and made sure that he sung his own praises to all the right people. It didn’t help that you shared the same initials. He certainly capitalised on that coincidence.”
“How on earth do you know that?” Andi was amazed. “Are you psychic or something? That’s exactly how Alan operates!”
“Hardly! If I were a psychic I’d have made a move long ago. No, Andi, I just know how hard you work and how much you must have deserved that promotion. You held that project together.”
She blushed. It was sweet of Jonty to be so vehement.
“I still should have told you and Simon the truth about how it all ended,” she admitted ruefully. “That was the right thing to do. I should have been honest.”
Jonty thought about this for a moment.
“Andi, you didn’t know either of us from Adam. How were you to know we could be trusted to listen and to understand? For all you knew Si might have kicked you out instantly. After all you’d been through with Tom—” He practically spat the name and although it was dark Andi knew that his face was tight with fury. “After that, how were you to know who to trust?”
He understood. He really understood. She felt every muscle in her body loosen with relief. Keeping her sacking a secret hadn’t been a deliberate deception, more an act of self-preservation. And it had been worth it, too, because hadn’t she worked hard and done Si proud?
“And now he’s threatening to circulate emails with personal pictures of you unless you pay up?” Jonty whistled. “Jesus. What a piece of work.”
Andi couldn’t agree more.
“I feel such an idiot,” she said sadly. “I can’t believe I was ever stupid enough to trust him. I’ll never be that naïve again.”
Jonty pulled her around to face him. They were standing so close together that their eyelashes almost brushed. Andi stared into his eyes, no longer turquoise but as dark and full of shadows as the wooded valley beyond.
“Trust is a wonderful quality,” he said firmly. “You are a decent and kind and trusting human being. Don’t beat yourself up on account of what Tom did. Anything that you did between the two of you was part of your relationship and as such was private and personal. A decent man would treasure that and leave it there, not be looking for an opportunity to exploit it.” His jaw tightened and Andi had the strong impression that if Tom ever bumped into Jonty he’d be very sorry indeed.
“But if I hadn’t—”
“There’s absolutely no point in blaming yourself. Christ! What kind of man would betray someone he once loved, like this? For God’s sake, this isn’t your fault! The guy’s a shit, Andi.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Andi agreed. “Not a day goes by when I don’t want to kick myself for ever being involved with a creep like him. But unfortunately he’s a creep who holds all the cards. If I don’t pay up then those images will be everywhere and he’ll put posts about my being sacked all over the Internet.” Her eyes filled with tears of frustration. “Now do you see why I had to go? My professional reputation’s going to be ruined and my personal one won’t be far behind it. “
“Not if I have anything to do with it,” Jonty said darkly. “I promise you, that is not going to happen.”
Andi was touched. But unless Jonty was able to either magic Tom off the surface of the planet (unlikely) or have a chat with Bill Gates (even more unlikely) then she didn’t hold out too much hope.
“So what should I do?” she wondered aloud.
“Come back to Rock in the first instance,” Jonty said firmly. “You’ve done nothing to be ashamed of.”
Andi thought of the pict
ures and her stomach turned a horrible slow loop-the-loop.
“I don’t know,” she said.
Jonty held her tightly against his chest. “We’ll sort this out, I promise. It will be fine.”
“How will it?” Andi couldn’t see a way.
He dropped a kiss onto her temple. “I’ll figure that bit out. There’s talking to Si for starters, and I promise you that he’ll understand. The rest will follow. Trust me.”
The weird thing was that she did trust him. After everything Tom had thrown at her, Andi thought this was little short of a miracle. Sinking onto the bed, Jonty held her in the circle of his arms and rested his chin on her head.
“It really will,” he promised. “Trust me on this one. Everything really will be all right.”
“Maybe,” she said, thinking out loud. “I’m so sick of lies, Jonty. It’s exhausting. I’m tired of people hiding the truth. Why can’t people just be straight?”
Jonty was so quiet for a while that Andi wondered whether he’d fallen asleep. The lapping of the river against the banks and the calls of owls were enough to lull anyone into a slumber, and she felt her own eyelids grow heavy. The window drapes fluttered in the breeze and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to slip under the fat goose-down duvet and drift…
“Sometimes people don’t mean to lie.” Jonty’s voice dragged Andi back from the brink of nodding off. He’d not been asleep but rather deep in thought, she now realised.
“Sometimes they want to tell the truth but they’re afraid, or they can’t find the words,” he continued. “Then, as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to backtrack. Like you not telling Simon about what really happened at Hart Frozer.”
Andi didn’t recall mentioning Hart Frozer. She’d still been holding back from revealing the full details, but she must have said more than she realised. What was in that garage latte? The truth drug?
“I kept quiet about being fired because I was ashamed,” she said. “I had no way to prove I was innocent, not without having access to my work computer. Why would anyone believe me?”
[Escape 01.0] Escape for the Summer Page 40