“You don’t even know how you’ll get there,” Sann retorted.
“Well, there has to be a way. This place isn’t a tomb underground.”
“There is a way,” Jaxton spoke to the floor.
Gemi let her arms fall to her sides and sat forward. “What? Why are we just hearing about this now?”
“Because I knew once you found out there would be no stopping you.”
“Damn straight!” Gemi screamed as she jumped to her feet. “You’ve been lying for months! That’s time we will never get back. Time that could have saved Allon and Callum. Time that could have saved a lot of people.”
“It's not safe." Jaxton stared her down not even bothering to get up from the chair. Or show any amount of respect.
“That's not for you to decide. We have to end this because you can be damn sure that no one else will.”
“The government will get it under control.”
“You said that four months ago.”
“Does anyone else get a say here?” Sann asked from the corner of the room.
“No!” they shouted in unison.
Sann laughed and shook he head. “Well, at least you guys agree on one thing.”
Her heart pounded in her ears as her anger increased. He was no better than Dagmar. He lied and manipulated to get what he wanted. And what he wanted was a sad, timid girl that would take all her cues from him.
“We leave at sunrise,” Gemi said through clenched teeth.
“No we don't.”
“That was an order, not a question.”
Jaxton's eyes narrowed at her. “You're not leaving the compound. You'll stay here and run things. Sann and I will go.”
“Yo, do I take orders from the both of you now? ‘Cause I didn’t get that memo.” Sann pushed off the wall and stepped to Gemi's side. “I only take orders from one Granger. And that would be the better-looking one to my left.”
“Stay out of this, Sann.” Jaxton took a step toward him, his hands curled into balls at his sides.
“Listen, it's not like you’re not attractive. You're just not my type.”
“Will you please just shut up? She's not going. That’s final.”
“She already decided,” Gemi said, moving between the two men before it got physical. “We leave at sunrise.”
“If you do this, I can’t support it.”
“That wouldn’t be the first time,” Gemi snapped back.
The air was palpable. Months of built-up emotion were boiling over at the worst possible time. They had only a small window to make her plan work and it wouldn’t be derailed by a lovers’ quarrel. Not if she could help it.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Jaxton's hands relaxed as his all too familiar crease appeared between his eyes.
She had definitely stuck a cord.
“It means we leave at dawn. With or without you. And you’re going to tell me where the path is. That's an order.”
“Can we talk...alone?” Jaxton shot Sann a sideways glance that all but told him to get the hell out.
“So I'll just go pack then?” Sann bolted for the door in a rare show of common sense as the doctor followed sluggishly behind him.
Gemi waited until the door latched shut before turning back to face Jaxton.
“I'm just trying to keep you safe,” Jaxton whispered to the space between them. A space that had been physically and metaphorically growing further each day.
“I'm not safe anywhere. There are crazy people leading crazy people outside. We are wasting away in here. And if you haven't noticed, every single person who came out of that fun test we went through is having some kind of side effect. Recently that involves the deep need to murder me.”
“I know. But with the rest of us gone you’ll be left here with people that were never put through the wringer.”
“That you know of. And what's to say I don't snap, kill a bunch of people, then hang myself from the rafters.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted it.
Jaxton's face fell and his eyes turned cold. It was almost as if every bit of hope he carried with him vanished in an instant. He was reliving the worst moments of his life and she came along and poured salt in the wound.
“Do what you want.” The words were like a slap in the face. Devoid of any emotion, yet it managed to cut her deep.
Jaxton moved to walk past her. Gemi instinctively reached out to stop him. To comfort him. To make that look disappear from his face. He yanked his wrist from her grip and backed out of reach, folding his arms over his chest. But he didn't make a move to leave. She still had a small window to fix things.
“Look, I'm sorry. I didn't think."
“It's fine."
“No. It's not. My timeline is all fucked. I'm still getting random memories from my real life and it just gets jumbled and I forget.” She peered up at him, his expression was still guarded, but his posture had relaxed slightly. “I know how much you loved her. How much you do love her. And I'm sorry. I'm an idiot.”
He stared at her for what felt like hours. Finally, his stance fully relaxed and his face softened. “What do you think this is about?”
“Adaline.”
“You think this is about your sister?”
“Yes...”
Jaxton face lit up and in a few short steps he wrapped her in his strong arms. She tried her best not to recoil for fear of making him angry all over. So instead she closed her eyes and let the soft beat of his heart on her cheek calm her.
“This has nothing to do with Adaline,” he whispered into the top of her head. “This has to do with the fact that almost every night I get to see you die. I wake up so terrified that it's real. That this right here is one of those dammed tests, but my mind is so fucked up I can’t tell. I'm so worried that I'm going to wake up and you will be gone. That the only family I have left was taken by the same man who slaughtered my whole bloodline.”
Jaxton pushed her out to arm’s length. The look in his steel gray eyes made her heart stop.
“Unlike you or the others, I haven’t remembered any recent memories of us. I have nothing hopeful to hang on to and I can’t let you go out there in harm’s way. I can't be distracted. We'll all end up dead that way.”
Her brain buzzed as it processed all the new information. She had wasted months on bitterness and resentment, taking time away from him that he could have used to build good memories to push out the old ones.
Gemi closed her eyes and for once stopped thinking. Instead, she took a page from the last life she lived and pressed her lips to his. They were soft and inviting and oh so familiar, igniting the long-ignored spark inside her that quickly grew into an all-encompassing need.
His grip on her shoulders tightened as he put a few inches between his mouth and hers. “I won’t be able to stop myself if you do that again.”
Gemi smiled and traced her tongue over his full bottom lip making it glisten and become that much more appealing. A deep guttural growl escaped him as her legs were hoisted off the ground and wrapped around his waist. He forced her back onto the wall, his body collapsing into hers as his teeth tugged on her lower lip.
She gasped at the sharp, but delicious, pain allowing him the opening he needed for his tongue to slide into her mouth. There was no pause, no tentativeness as he took what she willingly gave him. He was a starved man and she was his dinner.
She had only one other experience to compare the moment to and so far they were nothing alike. Both of them were full of pent-up aggression. She was trying to prove her strength and give him a memory other than death. He was desperately seeking to obtain the wife he kept being told about.
Jaxton's hands drifted to her shirt and in one fluid motion he ripped it open, sending buttons flying in every direction. For one brief, moment her mind drifted to the fact that it was her last clean uniform shirt. And then somehow her back rested on the cold ground with the full weight of Jaxton pushing into her. Everything else faded away.
&nbs
p; They were nothing but senses. His fingers in her hair. The way his knees pushed hers apart. The sweet tinge to his saliva. Haggard breathing from two people that were more animal than human. And the smell of the woods. Her world was Jaxton.
He broke their kiss, letting his mouth move wet and hot down her neck to her shoulder then to the center of her chest, the scruff on his chin grazing her skin as he went. Gemi felt him freeze when his lips met with the metal bands hanging from her neck.
Jaxton sat back lifting the objects dangling from the chain. “What's this?” He breathed, sliding the two circles between his thumb and index finger.
“I, um...” She rubbed her palm over her face, struggling to focus her thoughts. “I found them in my room. Our old room. Well, I'm assuming it was our room.”
“Are these our...?”
“I'm pretty sure." Gemi sat up letting him bring the rings closer. “They have an inscription on the inside.”
“Into the unknown...” he read as he traced his thumb over the engraving.
“Kind of fitting, it seems.” Gemi smiled as she placed her hand on his cheek. He leaned into it, nuzzling his nose into her palm and letting the chain go.
“I don't want you to go.” His penetrating gaze stared a hole right through her.
“It's not your choice.”
“I know.” Without another word his mouth found hers again. Gentle this time as he raked his hands through her hair then down her back, clutching her close to him.
She slipped her hands under his shirt letting them trail on his bare skin. He shivered under her touch, goose bumps spreading out from her fingertips. She found the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his broad shoulders. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. He really was breathtaking, his defined muscles visible even under the heavy scarring.
At least Dagmar got that part right.
He smiled at her and drew her close once more, the heat from his bare chest radiating through her. He lifted her so she straddled his body and pushed her tattered shirt off. His lips brushed on her ribs below the wire of her bra as his fingers found the clasps. In one quick motion she was sitting on him naked from the waist up.
His hooded gaze roamed her body, drinking it in. Every curve. Every beauty mark. Every scar. It was laid out on a silver platter, just for him.
“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” he remarked as he ran his hands down her back to her waist.
Her cheeks flushed. She crossed her arms over her breasts as the warmth spread down her neck, bathing her skin in a red hue.
“Oh no you don't,” he said as he flipped her over to her back and pinned her arms over her head.
She giggled, the sound of it startled her, causing her to bite down on her lip. Jaxton cocked his head to one side and smiled.
“Well, I don't think I've heard that sound before. Not for real, that is.” He transferred her outstretched arms to one hand and let the other skim down her body at a languid pace to her ribs. “Do you think I can recreate it?”
“Don't you dare!” Gemi struggled against his grip, but with him sitting on her there was no use.
His face exploded into a radiant, full-toothed smile as he grabbed her side. She thrashed underneath him in response. Tears flooded her eyes accompanied by uncontrollable laughter.
“There it is,” he said momentarily relenting. “At least I know how to recreate it now.”
“Yes, because tickling is a common practice to perform on your boss.”
“Well don't tell anyone, but I'm also sort of sleeping with her too.”
“Not yet you haven’t.”
“You're right,” he said letting go of her arms and leaning away, his thumb and pointer finger on his scruffy chin in mocking speculation. “Perhaps I should rethink this boundary I'm about to overstep.”
Gemi's stomach was overcome with butterflies. It was easy to see in the moment why she had fallen for him in the past. He wasn’t always sullen and stubborn. There was a whole other side of him that she was learning about little by little. This was a side that she wanted to spend time with if only for this night.
“Well, what if I told you that while you were over there mulling it over, the moment passed?”
“Has it now?” he asked
“I'm afraid so.”
“And there’s no means to recover the moment? You know, just in case I decide that I wanted to.”
“I'm afraid not.”
“Interesting,” he said as he bent forward, his lips just barely brushing on hers.
“Are you positive?”
Gemi nodded, her nose gliding against his.
Jaxton slid his hand up her abdomen to her breast where his thumb traced small circles around her nipple. Her breath quickened in response.
“If you're confident there’s nothing I can do, then I should probably stop.” His fingers encircled her nipple at last giving it a gentle pull.
Gemi's back arched off the ground as a soft moan escaped her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into her, no longer interested in playing their little game. His breath was ragged on her throat as his mouth worked its way down, pausing once to suck the delicate skin where it met her shoulder.
He leaned away from her suddenly, sliding to his knees in between her legs. His hands found her belt and with a tortuously slow pace unfastened it before making his way to the button and zipper. Her breath came in small pants, her body on fire as his fingers slipped into the waistband. With the same agonizing pace he slid them down her legs, stopping to make quick work of her shoes before tossing her pants and underwear in a heap at their side.
Jaxton stood and quickly disposed of his clothes. And then there they were. No hiding, no turning away. Completely vulnerable. He laid down next to her, pulling her close, his hands stroking the length of her back, making her shudder.
“We don't have to —”
She pressed her lips to his before he could finish his sentence. Before she had time to think her way out of it. She was good at that after all. She crawled on top of him and, for a split second, she though she felt his hands trembling on her hips. If he was feeling anything other than desire, he was hiding it well.
He tipped his head back, letting his eyes fall closed, his grip tightening on her hips helping to drive her motion. Every muscle in his arms and chest tightened, causing them to ripple in one of the most appealing sights she had ever seen. Her hands dropped to his chest, using it as leverage as their movements picked up in pace. Her heart hammered and her brain buzzed. For the life of her she couldn’t think of a reason she had been avoiding him all these months.
Jaxton shifted, sitting up and bringing his nose to hers and pressing her body close to his. His breath was hot on her face, making her own hitch in her throat. With his eyes burning into her, she felt her heart jump. It was an indescribable connection she felt, her body and heart being entirely consumed by one person.
His teeth sank into her shoulder, crumbling the last bit of control she had over her body. She buried her face in his throat, gasping as her muscles clenched and twisted. His movements slowed soon after, clasping on to her as he struggled to regain control over his breathing.
He shifted his head, his lips brushing against her collarbone causing a shiver to run up her back and her whole body to tremble. “You’re amazing,” he said, his lips finding the hollow of her neck, her jaw, then her lips.
Gemi’s world exploded. It was a sensation she had never quite felt before, or maybe she had, but it was buried deep in the shadows of her memory. Their kiss before was nothing compared to this one. Tangled up, flesh to flesh with the heavy scent of his sweat hanging in the air. Having already expressed the most intimate moment two people could share. It left her breathless and desperate for more.
Jaxton broke the kiss, pulling away panting as he pushed sweat-clumped hair out of her face.
“You’re going to make it impossible to leave this room.”
Gemi groaned and leaned her
forehead against his as reality and obligation came crashing back in.
“Dawn is coming up fast. My boss gave me quite a tight deadline before we head out.”
“What a stupid, stupid girl.”
The room was coming back into focus. The dirty, dingy corners now boxing them in and ruining the high she was riding on. If they made it through and found a way to right things, there was a high probability that she would abduct the beautiful man in front of her and lock him away in her room until his touch no longer caused her to melt beneath it. If that took forever, she would die a happy woman.
“I won’t ask you to stay behind again,” he whispered. His hands found hers, cupping them to his chest. “I’m with you on this. But if there doesn’t look like a way…I won’t let you die. Not for this. If this doesn’t work, I’ll spend the rest of my life helping you search for other options, but I won’t let you walk into something with no escape route.”
Gemi kissed their intertwined fingers. “This might be the way the world was supposed to end up. But I won’t be able to live with myself if I thought for one moment we got here because of something I put into motion.”
They sat together in silence. Both of them had laid everything out on the table. It was a respect that had been missing from their relationship for the past four months. If their memories never fully retuned, she could take solace in the idea that they could start anew. She didn’t need them to know just how much they loved each other. There was a magnetic pull that she felt deep in her chest as if their souls were reaching out, desperate to reconnect.
Some things in life, no matter how illogical, are unbreakable.
CHAPTER SIX
Gemi took in her surroundings one last time. If everything went well, she would hopefully never have to spend another night there. Once things were set right, she planned on walking away from it all. The survival of the DBMA program would need to fall on someone else’s shoulders.
Gemi walked the quiet halls on her way to the medical facility. It was a testament of how well they were shielding the others that they were able to sleep peacefully after the events of the other night.
Paroxysm (Book 2): Paroxysm Aftermath Page 6